Tuesday, December 22, 2009

DAY 135 Perky Bloggers & the Naysayers

Hello Journal & Friends,

I love the saying 
"Focus on what you CAN do, 
not on what you can't." 

The mental part of this journey is key. The battle is won or lost between the ears... I have said that from day one (and sometimes need to remind myself!).

Those aren't just trite words that perky bloggers write to be cute or clever. THEY ARE TRUE. Funny thing is, I have actually read comments from people who find bloggers like ME annoying. Well, guess what? 

I'm so over it.
Yes, I admit it bothered me at first. I questioned myself... doubted myself. But you know what I have decided?? If they want to hold on to their pettiness, jealousy, negativity, doubts, and criticism... go for it. I wish them all the best, I sincerely do. We all have to start somewhere, and learn.

But NOBODY is going to drag me down with them into the Muck and Mire of their Mediocrity and Misery! No thanks! Call me naive, call me idealistic, call me Pollyanna, I don't care any more. Cuz I'm going for the gold! And to win this journey takes POSITIVE mental energy. Some days are easier than others, but it's ALWAYS better when we focus on the good.
The same is true in the rest of our life. We NEED a good attitude in life or it will just be... well... miserable!

I have had comments recently that remind me that most people who read my blog are fairly recent friends. They haven't had the chance to read all the previous stuff here. Some don't know that most of my day is spent in a powerchair... that I can only stand a couple of minutes before my muscles say buh-bye

In the first 2 or 3 months of starting this blog, I sort of laid out my "plan" and philosophies, and on Day 31 (HERE) I wrote one called "For the Record, How It Is Now." It gives the details of my daily life. Since I don't want to re-hash it again, anyone interested can go there and have a peek. I don't constantly talk about that stuff, because it sounds like whining or self-pity. And that's quicksand you don't want to go near! Gee, ask me how I know! :-D

The reason I don't constantly focus on stuff like physical limitations, and go on and on about medical conditions is because they are not ME. They do not define me. *I* am not my physical limitations. 

I am my goals, dreams, loves, thoughts... what is INSIDE. I "live" with a condition, I "am not" that condition. Get the diff??

A LOT of people live with conditions. One tip I can pass on to keep you from morphing into a "professional patient" is to keep a Gripe List. It's just a paper where you jot down your complaints and symptoms, and then LEAVE THEM THERE. It's all there when you need it, or need to tell the doctor, etc. But you don't waste your energy focusing on it the rest of the time. And you don't wear out those around you by turning into a martyr. Write it down... leave it there. It helps separate YOU from symptoms. It's not living in La La Land, or Pretendsville... it's focusing on LIFE, and joy and goals and dreams.

Well, once again I was long-winded. The other topic on my mind was exercise... and the bazillion excuses we come up with NOT to do it. But that will have to wait til tomorrow. :-)

From Dr Phil's book: "Your thoughts powerfully program you."

My verse for today: "I delight greatly in the Lord. My soul rejoices in my God."

My quote for today: "The most handicapped person in the world is a negative thinker." --Heather Whitestone, former Miss America, who is deaf.

Enjoy the Journey,



Anonymous said...

You know, Loretta, You have always impressed me as a blogger who wants to be honest.

I am one of those bloggers who is annoyed by perky, gotta be positive, life is just soooo woonnnderrfulll,writers.

Reality is not a bad thing--pretending and denial ARE bad things and will eventually come around to bite you. Negativity is also a bad thing and will not come back to bite you, it will chew you up on a daily basis.

You, my friend, have not struck me as one of the 'perky' writers. It seems to me that although you do have an "I am determined to be positive" attitude, you also have a pretty firm grip on reality. You are determined to grab hold of today and make it better. You willingly admit that some days your grip is not as strong as you'd like.

I don't get that feeling of being in denial wonderland when I read your stuff. Sometimes I know that you're not sharing some hard or negative things in your effort to sound positive, but that is very different than purposely positive denial. It is your right to share or not regardless of your reason.

Anyway, I said all of that to say this: From one with a very low tolerance for fluff, YOU are the real deal! :D Keep it up.


Scarlet Simple said...

I think you are amazing. I do realize about the powerchair and you know what? I noticed early on that you don't let it define you.

You are an amazingly empowered woman who is not only making her own journey the way she wants it, but you are blazing a trail of inspiration for others to follow.

Don't let the jerks get you down.

Unknown said...

Loretta, I love your attitude. You tell it like it is without excessive whining or complaining all the while keeping a positive attitude. Anyone who has ever had a real weight problem knows attitude is EVERYTHING! It will make us successful or not! I love your positive thinking.

I cannot emphasize the amount of encouragement and inspiration I get from reading your journal. You're right to ignore the naysayers. I've often wondered how many people out there giving their 2 cents have ever even really struggled with weight issues.

You just keep on keeping on! And, I still love the Fat Fairy idea! I'm sure she's visited me a few times! ;-)

antgirl said...

Well, now I think you can add that you have friends to your list. :)

After reading your 'whining' post where you were hardly whining, I wonder if the exercise is not then part of the issue you posted about yesterday. It may be causing inflammation or the muscles may be holding onto fluid that could contribute. If so, it will clear up and go away. Exercise and getting healthier has done wonders for my pain levels. Sure my arms still act up from time to time, but I'm a far cry better than I was. All my other aches and pains went away. So, you have that to look forward to.

I suppose I might be categorized as 'perky'. I spent so many years miserable that it's hard for me not to sing about how wonderful life can be. I want that for you and for everybody else. And if I can encourage and support you at all to getting there, that's what I want to do. Because I think everyone deserves to feel fantastic.

One thing I learned on this journey, people say all sorts of 'odd' things. It used to bother me, too. Then I decided that such comments were really more about the speaker and their issues and insecurities and had nothing to do with me. That's how I decided to look at it. It really helps a lot.

Like you said, it's focusing on the good. It makes all the crap fade to the background where it really should live. Because there is more positive out there, if we care to focus on it. But you seem to know that.

You're doing fantastic. You've got a great attitude and seem to be attacking this with sense and a lot of internal work [that's what it takes]. I'm so looking forward to reading of the milestones on this journey of yours. Honest, I get all giddy. :) OK, yup, I'm a perky one.

I get like that about lots of things. I can't help it. I get very passionate. But, it feels fantastic. So, I'm never going to apologize for it. It was a very long road to get here. A lot of work. A lot of struggling. If you only knew the depths ... I found my way out. And, I think that if I can do that, so can everybody else. The secret is to never give up. :)

{ALL} for a Better Life said...

I love your positive attitude! And I am going back to read because even though I have been around awhile, I haven't been around since the begining.

Thank you so much for your suggestions on blogging, you so rock!

Joanne said...

Well count me as one of the people that loves your blog inside and out!!! That's what I adore about this community - for the most part it seems like attracts like. When we want or need to whine we can - its our blog gosh darn it all. I also love to celebrate successes.

I love your gripe list - I need to start one for myself. I have a couple of physical limitations that I blogged about once but I try my best to not complain - they are minor and seldom affect my life in a negative way - they are my annoyances.

Christine said...

I am positive in that I don't allow bad days and negative circumstances to deter me.
I don't let much deter me...I never have...and niether do you.
Which is why I like you and your blog.
Keep on being perky.

Retta said...

Thank you so much, Everyone! You all said such nice things, encouraging, supportive... I had to grab the hankies!
This was such a wonderful thing to come and read... it means a lot to me. Thank you for this nice Christmas gift of friendship,

dailyseeking said...

I like the quote about being handicap if you are a negative thinker! Thanks for writing on my blog; you are always encouraging to me.

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