Tuesday, November 30, 2010

DAY 474 Toon Tuesday, Daddy & Endurance

Hi Journal & Friends,

I've been thinking about ENDURANCE lately. So I took a day trip to the nearby village of Peenksville, and asked a local Peenkster to pose for a sketch, with him holding my homemade banner.

He graciously accepted, waving the customary tourist fee. Seems they know I'm a big fan of Peenk, and don't charge those they consider friends.

Do you like his portrait?

Wanna know something cool, amazing, wonderful and JOYFUL that happened yesterday, right as I was halfway through finishing this portrait? I got a phone call from Down South...and found out that my 89 year old Father got married a few weeks ago!!! 

I am sooo happy for him. Talk about ENDURANCE! WOWZER!

Daddy is the epitome of Endurance. In spite of health issues, he worked up until 4 months ago as a Federal Judge. Yes, he had law clerks and assistants, but still! 

He lost his wife, my step-mom, about 7 years ago. Even though he is always busy, he was still lonely. I'm so glad he did this.

Part of his Endurance is his amazing strength of character, part of it plain old rascally stubborness.  And he is not one to sit around and watch the boob tube. He loves to be on the go. Especially now that he has his "bride" to drive him. (Oh thank you Lord, for getting him from behind the wheel of a car... shudder!!)

  • the power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process without giving way
  • the capacity to last or to withstand wear and tear.
stamina, staying power, fortitude, perseverance, persistence, tenacity, doggedness, grit, indefatigability, resolution, determination

I'm really liking this quality of ENDURANCE. I want to cultivate more and more of it! 

From Dr Phil's book: "You must get in touch with your thoughts and feelings and why you're having them."

My verse for today: "...God who gives endurance and encouragement."

My quote for today: "He conquers who endures." --Persius

Enjoy the Journey,


Monday, November 29, 2010

DAY 473 Still A Learnin'

Good morning Journal & Friends,

A while back I added a cool little feature to my blog that causes related posts to pop up... the little row of thumbnail pics at the end of each post called "You might also like..." I added it for ME. I wanted to randomly read what I've written, to remind me of what I am trying to learn along the way. You know, learning by repetition.

Well! Yesterday afternoon I read one that kicked my behind... OUCH!! 

It was like having a glaring light beamed right into your eyes, after you'd been walking around in twilight.

Here is one line that smacked me:

If you want to, you will find a way. 
If you do NOT want to, 
you will find an excuse.

This was from Day 136, last December 23rd. I had been slacking on exercise, procrastinating, and gave myself a good talkin' to. Seems like I now need it again!

Sure, I had torn out those stitches in my thigh. True, I had a raging painful infection in my hand. But after reading that post, I realized I had given myself permission to slack off. One was a lower body owie, and one was an upper body owie. That pretty much covers it, riiight??? Oh, poor me.

Are there legitimate times when we need to back off and recover? Absolutely. But this was not one of them, for me. It was an excuse to baby myself.

In that December post, I also wrote:

I was no longer procrastinating... I was DOING it. It feels good to finally be doing it, instead of just talking about it.  That generates self-respect. Confidence. Hope. A sense of strength and empowerment. Not the stuck-up, arrogant kind... but the feeling that if you are committed and work hard, with all your heart, then you could really, actually, TRULY accomplish that thing that you have hoped for, cried for, prayed for, wished for, longed for... that you can lose the weight and get your health and life back. 

You don't know exactly what the future holds, but you KNOW it will be an adventure, and you will be up for it. You will no longer be ashamed and hiding, and hopeless and discouraged. But you will hold your head up high, and it won't matter what others think... because you know you conquered a big monster that dominated your life for too long, and now you are free.

It's been a while since I've "felt" that kind of fire! I want that back. And if what I said there is true, then those feelings will return with the DOING of the thing. 

I want to keep DOING, until these healthy habits are just that... habits. Routines that are so ingrained, they sort of run on autopilot. Then I'll know they are really are part of my life. They will BE the New Me. 

So for now, I am practicing up on Being the New Me.  Repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition....

(For complete post "Stop Procrastinating... Tomorrow" click HERE)

From Dr Phil's book: "It is what it is... deal with it."

My verse for today: "I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts."

My quote for today: "The most handicapped person in the world is a negative thinker." --Heather Whitestone, first Miss America with a handicap--she is deaf

Enjoy the Journey,


Sunday, November 28, 2010

DAY 472 Day of Rest & Favorite Photo Time

Hello Journal & Friends,

Jim has a whole collection of frozen, wintery leaf scenes. I really like them... I always root for the little leaves. 

They are tough, tenacious, and full of spunk! They inspire me to persevere in spite of anything. I hope you like this little heart-shaped guy, too. 

(can click to enlarge)

Enjoy the Journey,


Friday, November 26, 2010

DAY 470 Hottie Update & Choosing to be Thankful

Hi Journal & Friends,

Late getting my Hottie update #9 done. It'll be a shortie.

My Hot 100 goals..

Calories: starting to turn around, so I was surprised and yes, disappointed when I peeked at the scale, only to find it had gone way UP. Thankful for the tool. Now at least I know, and can re-evaluate.

Exercise: was getting much better, and looking forward to bragging on that, LOL. But then... then I tore out 2 of my 3 stitches in my thigh (from the mole removal). Had to stop lower body wiggly movement. 

So I concentrated on upper body exercise, with my resistance bands. But then... then a cyst on my right hand became infected, the hand blew up swollen and incredibly painful, and exercise is out of the question. On antibiotics and painkillers. 

Ran through the gamut of emotions, but I can't change it... so need to just accept it. Yep, this too shall pass (quickly, I hope).

Vitamins: now THIS one I can report that I did better than last week.

I'm pretty much over the crying/frustration phase about this hand thing, and now find it almost funny that my last post was all about interpeting life in a positive way!

So, I tried. All I got is: I didn't do much cooking for Thanksgiving, and we ate simple. A yummy golden turkey Jim cooked. He made de-fatted gravy from the drippings, and cooked up some frozen mixed veggies. Right before my hand went berserk, I had made a sugar free pumpkin cake.

It was a quiet day, which was okay by me. 

More in a couple of days... I think the swelling in my hand will be down by then.

I hope everyone had a wonderful day of Thanksgiving.

Enjoy the Journey in spite of the potholes,


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

DAY 467 Looking Through a Positive Lens

Hi Journal & Friends,

Positive thinking.

The subject is controversial. Some like it, some detest it. Not many are neutral, not that I've run in to. And we all have our own interpretation of it. Including me. 

I've been mulling over writing a post about it for awhile, because what *I* mean by Positive Thinking is often misinterpreted by those who have a negative definition of the concept. 

To think positive does not mean you deny hard, cold facts.
 It DOES refer to how you interpret those facts.

It is not la la la la, fingers in my ears, not wanting to talk about honest "truth".

It IS a tendency to focus on the UP side of life, and try to find the blessings and the lessons that we can learn from what we go through.

It is not minimizing or discounting the painful realities that we go through.

It IS saying we can live a good life anyway. 
We can look for the good, and not stay stuck in the muck.

Like Jules says, it's the attitude. 

There is a blog I visit named Yellow Brick Road,  written by Dailyseeking. It is one of those that makes me pause, and think. It tends to be a quiet, thoughtful, and sincere blog. 

Dailyseeking has recently been posting about a book she is reading by Joyce Meyer called Power Thoughts. And in a recent post (HERE)  Positive Thinking is described the best way that I've read in a long, long time! I really enjoyed it.

So, instead of re-inventing the wheel, I'm just going to recommend you read her post. Here is part of it, to wet your appetite:

"Being positive does not mean we deny the existence of difficulty; it means we believe God is greater than our difficulties.  Train your brain to trust and believe God and to think positive thoughts that are based on His word.  Always remember that nothing is impossible with God! (Joyce Meyer-Power Thoughts)"

We have a choice as to which we dwell upon... the positive or the negative. We acknowledge the challenges, but how we interpret them makes all the difference. I really believe that... and even though I don't always DO it, I try. 

Sure, at times I lose my focus... I get discouraged, and feel sorry for myself and whine and pout "it's not fair". But eventually I realize how unproductive that train of thought is. 

I remember my Source, my God. And I remember WHY I wanted to make these healthy changes. And I make up my mind to learn from my mistakes and go ON.

Positive thinking is not the opposite of being "honest". It is looking at the realities of life through the lens of optimism, hope, determination and faith. 

It's a pretty powerful way to think, if you ask me!

From Dr Phil's book: "Whatever the situation, you can choose your reaction. No matter what the circumstances, your interpretation of those events is of your own choosing."

My verse for today: "Love is patient, love is kind."

My quote for today: "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." --Winston Churchill

Enjoy the Journey,


Sunday, November 21, 2010

DAY 465 On With The Journey!

Hi there Journal & Friends,

I read a post by Dawn at Fixing Myself Thinner  last night that got me to thinking.

She was talking about stopping to smell the roses, and don't get so caught up on where you want to be, that you fail to appreciate from where you have come. 

And she is right! There IS a time for all things, and definitely a time for that.

But as I read her post... cha-ching! It occurred to me that I abused that concept. Lately I've been coasting too much on "oh, look what I've accomplished", and lost my fire. 

I want to rekindle the fire, the passion, the intensity, the DESPERATION
that empowered me in the beginning. I NEED that energy. I am only halfway done with a LONG journey.

I think I went through a phase where I NEEDED those pats on the back... from myself and from others... for what I have already accomplished. Something in me needed it... proof that it was real... that I really did it.. that I can STILL do it some more. 

And affirming that I am not just a fat, lazy slob, a loser... and that people--and myself--can look at me with respect because I actually DID something that was worthy of respect.

Well, I've had a couple of good nights sleep now...and it has made a HUGE difference in how I feel. 

I WANT to try harder. 
I WANT to work at this. 
I WANT to face down those feelings and not use my favorite anti-anxiety medication: food. 

Ha ha ha...don't ya love that all-too-accurate description?? We can thank Deb for that great phrasing. :-D 

So, my mandate to myself is: Enough with the smelling of the roses, already! Let's get ON with the journey!

Enjoy the Journey,


Thursday, November 18, 2010

DAY 462 Later Gators for Hottie Update

Hi Journal & Friends,

A quickie post, Part A...

It's 4am Oregon time... I'm up early to start getting ready for yet another teensy medical thingie this morning. Gotta get a suspicious mole removed. 

I stalled and stalled, hoping it would just get better and "go away". Why? Well, why else does a fat woman stall undressing in front of a man she is NOT married to??! 

Yep... shame over the ol' bod. It's high on my thigh, and I just didn't want my squishy, blobby, thigh-with-the-hanging-folds-of-skin poked, prodded and examined. Let's hope my pride wasn't a fatal mistake this time.

I'll be back later to do Part B, my Hot 100 update.


I'm baaaack! 

Got it done... get the pathology report back in 2 weeks. The effects of obesity reaches deep into our lives... like tenacles. 

Did I mention the suspicious mole was at the upper part of my thigh? Uh huh... as I lay there during the removal of said critter, I was asked to hold my hanging tummy up out of the way. LIKE I NEEDED ONE MORE THING TO FEEL MORTIFIED ABOUT!!!!!!

Okay... breathe...

On to more pleasant things. Like what a rotten week I had with the Hot 100.

Since I had been struggling, I decided to go back to using a little checklist for the rest of the year. I kept track of my 3 goals (calories, exercise and vitamins) all week. And at the end of the week, discovered that how I "felt" it went did not match with the written checklist. I definitely fell short! Ack!

So it was a GOOD thing to use the checklist. Shows me I can't just go by my feelings to evaluate my progress... they are tricky that way.

But it dawned on me last night, as I noticed on a blog that someone was going back to tracking their food... that it wasn't about the food for me. I needed to be tracking how I FEEL. In this case, the feelings would be clues.

I've allowed my focus to shift. I've been busy, and doing more "living", and been spending less time with all the inward stuff. The thinking, contemplating, tuning in to feelings, evaluating... all that...

And fell back into ignoring the WHY that is pushing me to want to eat more... or to use my allotted calories on "yummy" food, instead of nutritious food.

I dunno... there's got to be a balance. I just haven't found it yet! A balance of LIVING my life, and not having to spend all my time focusing on "weight loss". I think I'm going through one of those phases where I just want it OVER.

But... the journey continues. It will take as long as it takes. But I still think I can shorten it a bit if I will stop goofing around so much!!

Yep... frustration must be my "word of the day", LOL!

From Dr Phil's book: "By changing the way you think, you can change the way you feel and act."

My verse for today: "Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I."

My quote for today: "More fun than the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile."

Enjoy the Journey,


Tuesday, November 16, 2010

DAY 460 Shoodles for Toon Tuesday

Hiya Journal & Friends,

Okay, I'll admit it... I'm a sucker for catchy names. So when I decided to decorate tennies with doodles, I just HAD to call them something fun.

 Hence: SHOODLES! 

Shoes with Doodles. :-D  har har har

I got a great deal on white mule tennies (12 bucks a pair), so ordered 5 pair, all in white. I finally finished my first pair... and wanted to share pics of it, along with my MISTAKES!

I really DID think of this weight loss journey, especially while fixing my mistakes. The mistakes were frustrating, causing it to take a lot longer. But just because I was learning as I went and made mistakes, I didn't give up. I corrected... I learned... and kept my finished goal in mind. Honestly, I didn't drum that up... it really DID teach me another lesson. :-)

Without further ado... my first Shoodle!

Have you figured out my mistake yet??
Big boo boo to draw it in with pencil first!

It smudged, making it dirty looking,
and try as you might, the pencil shows 
and you can't erase it. It took a LOT of
white acrylic paint to fix that goof up.
See this next one, especially in the
checks and around the star? Yuk.

Well, live and learn. Next time it will go faster.

There's no right or wrong way... so instead
of buying ribbons for laces, or using plain
white ones, I dyed these variegated shades
of yellow & orange. First watery yellow in
a glass jar; dunked them in... then dabbed 
on some orangey color while still wet.

And ta da! My first finished pair of Shoodles!

PS: If you'd like to try your hand making your own Shoodles, check out my comment for a list of Hints.

Today's Peek at the Past (I almost skipped reading this one, since it was "just" a Challenge update, and today's post was long already. I'm glad I didn't skip it! I needed to be reminded of the level of commitment it takes to accomplish my goals.)

From Day 99, November 16, 2009:

"Friday was a close call... hubby came home early from work, and I almost talked myself out of doing it, figuring oh well, I can just do it Saturday. Well, duh! He will be here all day Saturday!  I realized I was just making an excuse to put it off, and not putting forth my best effort. So yes, I went ahead and cranked up the music and danced with Richard Simmons."

(For complete post "Countdown to Christmas - Week 2" click HERE) 

From Dr Phil's book: "Make time for exercise, then protect that time... NO EXCUSES. Let nothing interfere, absolutely nothing."

My verse for today: "Praise the Lord, O my soul... who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's."

My quote for today: "The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without the work." --Emile Zola (1840-1902)

Enjoy the Journey,


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