Jan 11th... Learning to Love this Process

Today I read a fascinating article by writer James Clear. He told the story of a German philosophy professor who had moved to Japan in the 1920's to learn Kyudo, which is the Japanese martial art of archery. 

The German man, Eugen Herrigel, also eventually learned Zanshin: a state of relaxed alertness. 

"Zanshin is being constantly aware of your body, mind, and surroundings without stressing yourself. It is an effortless vigilance."

In our own lives, this means "choosing to live your life intentionally and acting with purpose rather than mindlessly falling victim to whatever comes your way."

I LOVED that I read this article this morning! I had just finished trying to hammer out a new, simplified daily schedule. I need more hours in the day! I have goals and dreams, yet need to fulfill the daily practical chores and commitments. And for health's sake, that must include time for Spirituality, Exercise, Rest and a healthy Food Plan.

Later in this article (which I hope you'll read in full HERE) James Clear writes: 

"The point is not to worry about hitting the target. The point is to fall in love with the boredom of doing the work  and embrace each piece of the process. The point is to take that moment of zanshin, that moment of complete awareness and focus, and carry it with you everywhere in life."

For me, I would re-word one part this way: To fall in love with the process. His sentence about that struck me hard. I absolutely LOVE the process of imagining, planning, researching and creating a new painting. Love it!

Yet, have I applied that to the PROCESS of getting healthy?? Uh, I don't think so. I'm pretty sure I usually have the final goal in mind! As in... lose this weight, get all health-i-fied, and get on with the rest of my life!

In fact I was just complaining this very morning to MyGuy that I needed to simplify. It's just getting too darn complicated! 

In addition to tracking calories, I was trying to keep up with grams of protein, carbs and fat; exercise; supplements; prescriptions; doctors appointments; support group meetings; and now per the doctors, the micrograms of Vitamin K in every bite, and to eat those same micrograms each day. Yeesh!! Tooooo much!

Ummmm.... I need to change my attitude.

I plan to re-read this article, and see how I can do that. How I can apply "effortless vigilance" - Zanshin -  to this process of gaining Health.

My book quote for today: "People don't fall off track because they do the wrong exercises at the gym. They fall off track because they stop going, just for a day or two, and then never go back. I've worked on this with thousands of patients, and it's the habit and routine of exercise that leads to success." --Younger Next Year for Women, by Crowley & Lodge

My verse for today: "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!" from Isaiah 43

Enjoy the journey... which I finally realize means to fall in love with the process!!!!

Retta

=^..^=

Nov 10th Surgery All Over.... NOT!!!

Hi guys. I’m alive and kicking. But struggling to have a good attitude. It has been a grueling 3 days, and an emotional roller coaster. Honestly, I just want to cry.

My surgery was canceled. I am home now. I was ON THE OPERATING TABLE, they were getting to put me under. I was all set to either wake up to see the face of Jesus, or wake up to see my Sweetie’s face. Either way would have been a good thing.

Then, I went into AFib. That is a heart on overdrive, like a runaway train. It hit 170 before they got meds into me; brought down to the 130’s, then 120’s, but wouldn’t go lower.

They did an ekg, tried sedatives, etc etc. Wouldn’t budge for hours. Obviously, the operation was canceled. I was sent home to take meds and “get better”. Come back when it’s “safer”.

Well gee… it’s not like this is elective cosmetic surgery!! It's for cancer. Which is progressive!!

I’ve been all over the map emotionally; mostly down. I thought this “diet” was over. I thought the surgery would be over. I thought the pressure to perform, weight wise, was over. 

I was so confused, frustrated, angry and depressed. The anger, which I had to face that I had, was because of all the mistakes that were made. Like… my records from THREE different docs down here were never faxed up north, and it took hours to find them. The cardiologist who saw me after the event never bothered to look at my medical records, and prescribed a med for me that would have been harmful to me. Duh! I had to catch it myself, and call my regular provider once I was home to get it changed.

I won’t bore you with the rest of the screw ups. Suffice to say, this "good little girl" actually does NOT feel bad for having anger over the mess ups. That is one positive. 

But the bottomline… I feel exhausted. Emotionally, physically, even spiritually. I need me some serious Recovery time. As in extended vacation time. From life. From stress. From disappointments. 

I called my Pastor this evening, and since he himself went thru cancer surgery last year, he understood the situation. Basically, he said I may never know WHY my surgery was “interupped” at the last minute. But I am to focus on the positives. And that is this: if the AFib had hit DURING surgery, the doctors had said I would either be dead, or had a stroke or heart attack. 

Period. 

This is real life. This is how it is. At one point, I even felt like saying "Oh screw it", and just eat and eat and eat and eat....

As I looked at the vending machine full of candy at the hospital (!!) I said to my hubby "Oh, I'd give anything for some M&M's!!

And he asked: "Even your life?"

Riiiggghhhtttt. I quickly moved myself far away from said vending machine.

So... the journey to wellness continues. Life goes on. And I want to regain an attitude of gratitude. Not there yet... but it's getting closer.

Life is precious. Life is short. Love one another.

Retta

NOV 12th No No No NO NO NO!!

yes........ yes...... yes.....yes.... yes.

But I don't WANNA be a student again. 

To have to do more reading, studying, learning, measuring, weighing, and focusing on this Weight Loss Thing. Yet again. 

Do. Not. Want. To.

Well... that's life. We don't always get what we want. 

Having gone through a crummy year, healthwise, has forced me to look for answers. I suppose if I wanted to be Chirpy Positive, I could call that the silver lining. Or as Michael Beckwith calls it, the Blessing (from his teaching of Looking for the Blessin or the Lesson in all of Life's Circumstances).

So.  I haven't given up, I was just tired of writing about it. Had no answers, just questions and problems. 

And then some kind soul (sorry, can't give credit since I didn't write down the name) suggested a link to a Facebook group that was "different". 

And they were. And they were incredibly supportive and helpful. And I think I just might be, finally, coming out of the "sick" tunnel and into the light... soon, very soon. :-}

Background: sick for months last winter; some of the food and medications advised to eat had sugar; craving monster awakened; then heart trouble; then tests; horrible sleep; more tests; massive infection in teeth; dental surgery, all remaining teeth removed; complications, 2 more dental surgeries scheduled; no "teeth" til next spring; hard to get adequate nutrition; finally oxygen added to cpap at night; yay, better sleep.

Repeat: better sleep. I can't begin to describe how much better just getting that made me feel. Half of my heart is not able to do it's job now while I sleep, and the oxygen is giving it relief, so I am getting deep, restorative sleep now. Blessed sleep!

I finally wanted to "try" again. I cared again. I didn't feel despair, but hope started to glow again. Like a tiny ember you carefully blow on to get going again, until the fire is finally burning stronger and stronger.

Back to the new Facebook group that was "different". 

Again, background needed for this to make sense: I've been doing low carb now for years; read the science; believed it; it worked; I lost weight; kept it off - mostly - for the first time in life. But kept getting stuck. Things shifted in the low carb community, and Fat became king, over protein. Low carb/high fat was promoted as THE way. People started promoting Fat Bomb recipes and bragging as to how they would drown their meal in sticks of butter. I had red flags, sure. But I figured they were the experts, and surely knew more than ME.

And it DID work. In the short run. And especially for those younger, healthier, and more physically active.

But I'm ME. I am NOT younger, healthier, and physically active. So when all that Stuff hit me earlier this year, I tanked. I started gaining at a ridiculous rate, and the only answer the high fat crowd had was "eat more fat".

Eating more healthy fat took away hunger, yes, absolutely. But at the cost of eating enough protein to heal my broken body. At the cost of healthy nutrition. And you can lose weight, especially at first. But was it fat loss? Or was it fat AND muscle loss?

I had so many questions.

So in desperation, I clicked on that suggested link to the "different" low carb group. The one that believes that the body needs protein to repair and be healthy, to lose weight and build muscle and support thyroid. All that jazz. And that if you still have your own "supply of body fat" you wish to lose, then you don't need to be going crazy with smothering your meals with sticks of butter.

"Fat burning is turned on by carbohydrate restriction. And eating Optimal Protein is a KEY to build health and metabolism." 

--Raymund Edwards

Yes, they believe in eating healthy fats. But they teach how to moderate that according to your goals: 

• Lots to lose = eat less healthy fat. 
• Want to maintain = eat moderate healthy fats. 
• Want to gain = eat healthy fats at the high end of the chart.

• But ALWAYS eat the right amount of protein for YOU, to be healthy, protect metabolism and build muscle.

They have an easy reference chart to help get you started. And they were/are incredibly patient with all my newbie questions... which are ongoing! (not claiming to have any answers here, so please don't ask ME nuthin... am still learning myself).

The focus of this group is to be HEALTHY, not lose the weight at a record pace. Weight loss can be achieved many ways, but losing fat and keeping your muscle mass - or even growing it - is a whole different animal.

It was encouraging to have a few answers, and a path to follow. It's taken months to get this de-railed train back on the tracks! My progress is slow, but at least it's in the right direction once again. Finally.

So... I am a student. Again. 

But I also have hope. I have not given up. Came close, yes indeedy. So I'm grateful for a few answers to my prayers.

And for anyone else who is struggling, who finds their current way of eating has conked out on them and no longer works, may I suggest at least considering another stab at it, with a shift in emphasis? 

From weight loss first TO Health first, and then the weight loss will follow. From high fat/moderate protein, TO moderate fat/high protein. 

And yes, this group will answer all your questions. The same ones I had, such as "what about gluconeogenesis?" (too much protein turning to glucose) and "but so-and-so-the-expert says to lose fat you need to eat MORE fat?", etc etc.

Here is the link to said group: Optimal Ketogenic Living (OKL)

If you decided to join, just put in a request to join; it's a closed group, which is good. It keeps out the riff raff (spammers, trolls and argue-ers).

I don't claim they are perfect, but if you go there with a teachable heart, I believe they will fall all over themselves to help you. Really, they've been very kind and encouraging to me. Be ready to do some reading, to at least re-consider some stuff.

And please DO read the links they offer, to assure yourself of the hard science behind it. Well, as far as we can know for now, that is. We are always learning and discovering. At the top of the site is a "pinned" post, with tons of info. You've got nuthin else to do, right?? ;-)

I know this is long and dense, and not "entertaining". But I felt it's important, and if it helps someone else, then I'm happy with that. :-)

And if you got this far, I applaud you! And thank you for visiting me, even though I rarely post now.

Keep hope alive in the journey,

Loretta

JUNE 17th Ups n Downs, But Never Give Up

It's been a long time since I've been so overwhelmed with temptation that I took something out of the garbage and ate it. 

Oh... you've never done that?? Then you don't understand true food addiction. Addiction to the way eating something can make you feel. 

The temporary lift 

The temporary escape 

The temporary hit to the pleasure center in the brain

I didn't do it this time, but the urge was powerful and I came close. Too close.

You see I, myself, opened the door to be set up for it. A relative came into town and brought dinner. Included was some "crack cocaine"... aka... fresh baguette bread. 

I had two responses: red flag warning, since in my past I have literally eaten a whole loaf with a stick of butter over the course of one day. And... rationalization. Telling myself it's no big deal, it's family, it's a special occasion, I'll just have a little and be done with it. 

Uh huh. Yep. That's the worst kind of lie, the kind we tell ourself. 

For some people, they could handle "a little bit". But I know my history. And I never should have listened to the lie.

After they left, I had "just one more slice". Then another. Then another... MyGuy came home and caught me having "just one slice". I didn't explain it was just one AFTER ten other "just ones".  In other word, I lied by omission. Sigh... that's a classic sign of an addict hiding their behavior, right??

So, I made sure he saw me throw the rest of the loaf, in it's bag, into the trash can. As if I was oh-so-in-control. Riiiggghhtttt...

The next day I was under more stress from other issues, and was hit with the image of that baguette bread, in the trash but "protected" by it's plastic bag. And for a fleeting second I seriously considered pulling it out and eating it.

I was aghast at myself! I was disgusted, disappointed, and embarrassed that I actually considered doing that.

After all these years. After all those pounds lost so far. And I'm STILL even entertaining doing something like that??!!!!!

Even now, it makes me cry. I wonder if I have changed at all. I wonder if I am just following a "program", yet inside there is no true change.

I once wrote a post (HERE) trying to articulate the differences, as I saw it, in the weight loss experiences of a "smaller" overweight person and a super-sized person (jumbo jet vs cessna). Sure, some things are the same. But some feel different to me.

I started at 460 pounds. The canyons seemed deeper, the mountains seemed higher. Temptation seemed so powerful and hope seemed farther away. Success always felt right around the corner, but just out of reach.

The road, for the super-sized person, can seem soooo long. It's easy to get so very tired of it all. To start thinking compromise. Couched in a "positive" way, of course, like "look how far you've come".  

But it's still settling. 

Still stopping short. 

Still giving up. 

Still buying into the lie that I've come as far as I can, and it's time to get "realistic" and accept that this is IT.

I'm not sure why I'm feeling so raw today. I am successfully, finally, back on track, after a few days of struggle. I think it's a deep and powerful response to a blog post I read from Holly, HERE. 

After reading what Holly wrote, I cried, and I felt understood. She's lost 240 pounds and KNOWS the long struggle. Also the pitfalls along the way and even after. The pull of that addiction. The way we rationalize our behavior. The guilt over making selfish choices instead of following our faith, and going to God instead of food. All that.

So... I'm not giving up. I pray for help. I pray for mercy. I pray for encouragement. And I feel grateful that HOPE is real and powerful.

Answer my prayers, O Lord, 

for your unfailing love is wonderful.

Take care of me, for your mercy is so plentiful. 

Psalm 69:16

Loretta

JULY 16th A Rant & A Blogcation

Shall we talk about The Food Reward Theory of Obesity?

Some of us old enough to remember drive-in movies, clamp-on roller skates and 4 cent postage for letters are cracking up over the people trying to make a name for themselves in the realm of research.

Give me a break! If it tastes good, you'll wanna eat more, and you just might get fat??? 

Really??? 

What genius! Why, let's give 'em an award for their brilliant deductions!!! (insert snarky sound effects here)

Hey, wait a minute!  Nobody gave my Mama an award for her brilliance when she refused to let us kids pig out on dessert after dinner. Or when she said only one cookie, or it'll spoil your dinner. Yep, Mama had this Food Reward Theory of Obesity all figured out. She knew you needed to control the sweets. 

Let's see, it went something like this:

It tastes good. 

Kids will wanna eat more than they should because it's sweet and nummy.

I'm the Mama. I will say No. 

End of story.

Nowadays, they are writing papers and books, giving lectures and holding conferences, and arguing with other researchers over "the cause" of obesity.

Come on... do they think we are suckers? I for one am tired of this stupid arguing! 

Of COURSE if you taste a yummy tasting food, especially a sweet one, it could trigger a response in you that says: Eat more, suckah! And that response could be physical, emotional, or both. 

Duh! Since when is this news??

Answer: Choose whatever floats yer boat.

Eat sweet stuff, or eat fruit, or eat both... it's a choice.

I am sooo over it! 

I've had it. 

I am DONE listening to all the Educated Idiots constantly coming up with the latest and greatest in New Theories as to how we got fat.

I wanna just get on with productive action, and get healthy. Enough with the silly theories already! I admit I over simplified the "theory", but come on, there's more important things in life than quibbling over minutiae and unproven theories.

Okay. Rant over. 

All done.

Happy again.

Now let's see... what's that theory about serotonin and dopamine deficiency fueling our cravings??  Ack! My head's gonna 'slode...

So... I've decided to take a Summer Blogcation. No more theory thinkin... it's starting to feel counterproductive.

I'm going to relax and spend time over at my art blog, HERE.   

I plan to pop in for a couple of pre-planned special announcements, but other than that, my poor little brain needs a break! :-)

Later Gators,

Loretta

=^..^=

JUNE 14th Pluggin Along with Optimism

Yesterday I finished up a 7 part series on my art blog (HERE) that kept me busy and happy. But... that's not the main reason I've been quiet here.

All Tiny Food photos today

credited to: Shay Aaron

Recently I sort of made a decision that I just wasn't going to post if I didn't feel I had anything to say. I finally let go of that feeling of "obligation", or the "supposed to" thoughts, or even guilt. 

Guilt?? Well, because I've received so much support over the last 3 years, and made friends and benefited from the online wt loss community. So I sort of felt it was only fair to give back, ya know? 

(Image credit)

But at this point in my journey, I feel the best way to support others from my blog is to only post when I honestly feel like it! To be genuine, and not force it. 

So, today all I want to share about is a smidge of progress, and a feeling of optimism. 

(image credit)

Over the last 3 years I've gone round and round with this counting calories thing. Sooo many opinions on that topic! So many different approaches. What works for one, doesn't work for another, yadda yadda yadda. 

(image credit)

I do low carb. That works for ME. I know it's not for everyone, but I love it. Yet I get sooo annoyed with low carbers who INSIST you don't need to count calories. 

"Eating low carb will naturally limit your hunger, and you'll automatically eat less, your blood sugars will be lowered causing less insulin release, hence the weight loss." 

Uh huh.... right. That IS true... for PHYSICAL hunger.

(image credit)

But my achilles heel has always been: my overeating was not caused by physical hunger. 

I love eating low carb. I ate my last sugar and white flour in March of 2009. Best decision I ever made! Yet... I still struggle to lose weight. 

TOO. MANY. CALORIES. 

Plain and simple. Portion control has always been my nemesis. Well, that and age and menopausal hormones and inability to vigorously exercise... but that's another post. ;-)

(image credit)

I finally admitted to myself that my resistance to consistently counting calories was mostly rebellion on my part. Why me? Why should *I* have to, when others don't? It's not fair... and other such childish thoughts. 

I've learned so much regarding health and nutrition from listening to podcasts, especially from Jimmy Moore at Livin La Vida Low Carb (HERE).  But I had almost stopped listening recently, because I was sooo tired of the "experts" who insist that if you eat low carb it's like the end-all, be-all panacea for whatever ails the world! 

(image credit)

Don't get me wrong...I totally believe it's healthy, but I also acknowledge some people don't take to it, for a variety of reasons, and I don't criticize them.

Well, a couple of days ago I listened to just one more podcast. And I am sooo glad I did! Jimmy interviewed diabetes expert Jenny Ruhl, from Bloodsugar101.com  

(image credit)

Finally, someone who tells it like it is! The title of the free podcast is "The Truth About Low Carb Diets"(HERE).   I might not agree with 100% of what she said (sorry, I don't know about you, but my ancestors weren't amoebae) but she DID address this thing about calories, along with a lot of other interesting info. If you're on low carb and struggling, you might consider giving it a listen.

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Regardless of what "diet" you choose, and regardless of what the promoters of said diet say... calories DO matter in the end. 

So... all that jabbering to say: I'm finally okay with having to count the calories! Maybe someday I won't need to... but for now, it's a tool that will help me stay within healthy limits. 

I discovered that for me, when all is going smoothly in my life, I can "hear" when to stop, and can do my own limiting naturally. 

(image credit)

But when stress amps up, my "hearing" gets clogged, or maybe I just don't WANT to hear it. Either way, it doesn't work under stressful conditions.

So for now, I count. Until I get closer to goal, until I get better at this, until I just don't need to any more: I count. 

(image credit)

I think a lot of us "know" there is a thing we need to do. A thing we don't WANT to do. A thing we fight, we resist, we justify NOT doing. A thing we might even resent doing. Yet deep down, we know it would be beneficial. My prayer for all of us is: to have the grace to DO it. 

Not talk about it. Not hope about it. Not whine about it. Not think about it. Not read about it. But... to DO it. To add action to the equation. That's what I'm working on.

Pretty boring stuff, nothing new really... but it's just where I'm at. :-D

My book quote for today:  "By the grace of God, each moment is a new beginning, a new dawn for your potential.  Your thoughts can become totally different, and as a result, your character can change and your life can be transformed. God wants you to be completely alive, full of passion, and bursting with joy." --Tommy Newberry, The 4:8 Principle

My verse for today: "Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me."

My quote for today: "If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward." --Martin Luther King Jr

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

DAY 1026

NOV 17th Today, Tomorrow & I am NOT a Victim

Hello Journal & Friends,

This morning as I unpacked a box some of the packing peanuts fell onto the floor... the kind that dissolve when exposed to moisture. Naturally, Joey was instantly on it like white on rice! She was just about to eat one, her mouth open and poised around it as I commanded firmly: LEAVE! 

She froze, then dropped it immediately and looked at me, confused. We were in the kitchen... isn't this where I get to eat the yummies you drop onto the floor?? But... she obeyed. I didn't know if eating them would choke her or not, but I wasn't taking any chances. 

See... this was a command we had taught her months ago, as a young puppy. And now, when danger was near, it saved her from potential harm.

Lessons from a Puppy # 10 

Have a safety plan in place 

BEFORE you need it 

Joey & Vevie
Nov 13th 2011

This is on my mind because a couple of days ago, I read something on a blog that was devastating to me. But thankfully, I already had a "safety plan" in place: When in extreme pain, don't make any big decisions! Wait.

Honestly, if I hadn't already made that decision, to WAIT when hit with an emotional tsunami, I am 100% certain I would've said SCREW IT! to this whole weight loss deal. Just being honest. It was that deeply upsetting. I felt like I'd been kicked in the gut. What the blog said is a topic for another post. My post today is about my reaction. Which is my choice. And right now I'm feeling kind of protective and defiant about my right to CHOOSE. 

I will never sit back on my butt and say "oh well, it is what it is, there is nothing I can do about it."  I am NOT a victim. I may not have control over the OUTCOME, but I can darn well control my EFFORT. And that will surely help give me at least a better outcome than if I just passively give in to "logic and statistics". Did it ever occur to people that believing those weight loss "statistics" can become self-fulfilling prophecies??!!

For a lot of us who have been on this journey for what feels like forEVER, the feelings run deep. There is a lot of pain, even after years of working through stuff. There is a fragility we don't like to admit or face. There is a vulnerability that makes us leery about "helpful" tough love comments. There is a wall we put up to protect ourselves from even more hurt. We haven't got it all figured out, but we are still willing to take the risk and try.

Those of you with a blog know how hard it is at times to hang it all out there, like a target for the analysis and judgements of others. Yes, there are benefits or we wouldn't do it. But that doesn't make it easy.

Sometimes we have too much to say and the feelings are so raw and powerful... it just seems to trivialize and dishonor them to blog about them. I don't even know if that makes sense... it's just what I am feeling right now. 

Yesterday I caught the end of the movie Annie, and heard her sing "Tomorrow". And I got it. Today hurts too much. But I will make no big decisions. I'm not quitting. I'm just waiting for tomorrow. God's mercies are new every morning, and tomorrow promises to be better. 

From Dr Phil's book: "To be alive means to experience emotions, painful or otherwise."

My verse for today: "But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge."

My quote for today: "If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or Fight Like Hell." --Lance Armstrong

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

DAY 823

SEPT 8th I Can Do Hard Things, too

Hello Journal & Friends,

Yesterday I spent a lot of time gritting my teeth and quoting Chris over and over to myself: I can do hard things! Ever see that in the side bar at A Deliberate Life??

I Can Do Hard Things

See, yesterday I was at the dentist. And it was NOT going well. A very painful session, for multiple reasons I won't bore you with. Here is what I look like TODAY (sorry for the glare on my computer glasses, I forgot to take them off):

And that's just the OUTside... the inside feels worse.

I wanted to console myself with food... isn't that what "we" do??? But luckily for me, the whole lower half of my mouth was throbbing all day yesterday. So I actually ate very little. Add in a fight with MyGuy... and it was a terrific day (yes... read sarcasm there).

And since I couldn't calm the storm with food... I felt it all. And guess what?? The physical pain was nuthin in comparison to the mental/emotional pain. But... I survived.

My point?? It was amazing to me how much it helped me to zone out at the dentists office, by thinking about Chris and her mantra: 

I Can Do Hard Things

I've read it there before, on her blog. But I resisted being a copycat. My ego wanted to be oh-so-original and come up with my own snazzy saying. Well... phooey. Why re-invent the wheel?? Why try to improve on perfection?? And that mantra is perfect for me right now, at this stage of my Becoming, my Changing.

I Can Do Hard Things

Yesterday came on the heels of a couple of horrible eating days, by the way. I've been reading Wheat Belly, by Dr William Davis (see HERE for the review by Dana Carpender that convinced me to buy it). 

And I had a ridiculous reaction to it... something triggered in my head, and I went nutso! Like my favorite drug was threatened, and I had to eat it all before it was too late. The weird thing is... I wasn't eating that many wheat products on a regular basis. Maybe a couple of low carb tortillas a week, and occasionally some store bought sugar free baked goods as a treat... an occasional piece of high fiber bread or cracker. What they call "bridge foods", that help you stay on your journey while in transition. Those of you farther along than I am probably don't eat them any longer, and that's fine by me. Someday I, too, will probably get there. But right now I'm not fussing over it. But from now on... they can't contain wheat!

Anne at CarbTripper had a post recently talking about how we can get anxious over change, even when we KNOW the change is for our own good. I could identify with what she wrote! 

Well... I haven't finished the book yet, but I sure have a lot of symptoms mentioned in it. And if not eating wheat can help me heal, physically, then even though I find it hard, it's a small price to pay for improved health. So, for now, I have decided to DELETE THE WHEAT.... because I Can Do Hard Things! 

From Dr Phil's book: "Stay real and stay flexible. Control problem foods."

My verse for today: "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

My quote for today: "Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do." --Goethe

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

DAY 753