March 28th Breaking the Chains of Fear

Been spending most of my time over at my art blog and creating a new website. 

Thinking.

Learning.

Pondering.

Questioning.

And listening for the answers.

After hearing a song called "No Longer Slaves" a few zillion times, I decided to actually believe the message.

"I'm no longer a slave to fear, 

I am a child of God."

Link for those interested: song on youtube

Fear? Me? naw.... yeah, right.

I've spent years at this health/weight loss blog. Writing, looking for answers. Reading and researching. Trying to learn. I found some things that worked for me, as long as I worked at them consistently.

Yet it never seemed to permanently take root. I had to constantly focus on it. It felt like it sucked all my time and energy. When was it going to be permanent?? 

I knew most the mechanics of it, this "losing weight thing". So... I decided to put it on auto-pilot. And I spent my best energy over at my art. And waited. 

I floundered around awhile. Gained some. Lost some (thankfully, I'm on the losing end of that now). I tried to just do the basics I knew, and focus on the thing I felt I was here to do: to do something, anything, in art. 

To make something, anything, that might be a blessing to someone else. To bring a smile, to enrich or add value to someones life.

Oh, and those fears?? Well, let's see...

Fear of sounding pompous or self-important by wanting to make art that would actually be a blessing to someone.

Fear of putting it out there, to be accepted or rejected.

Fear of being judged in the art world, the way I've been judged in the "weight loss" world.

Fear of trying and failing, of never making art in the real world the way it looks in my imagination.

Fear that it really IS too late.

Fear of going against the mainstream of what is "popular" in art circles nowadays.

And how's this one: fear that some will think this post is a clever marketing trick to get ya'll to go visit my new art site. 

Anyway, I decided it's time to let the fears go, the best I can. Let go of all the fears that kept me for YEARS from making a serious art website where I sell my art. 

To let go of the fear of mentioning it, because I was afraid people would think I was using them... trolling for customers. All that squirrelly thinking that held me back.

And now that I actually DID take action, I am more at peace and happier with myself, and finding it not "quite" so hard to do those healthy basics I mentioned earlier.

I suspect I will need to work on eating healthy more than the average bear for the rest of my life. But...  now that my focus is on something that brings me joy and a reason to get up in the morning, methinks it won't be such a grind. Well, I can hope! 

:-D

I encourage anyone, everyone who is on this quest to get healthy to find YOUR path. Your own answers. Never give up looking. 

And find your passion, the thing that lights you up inside. That gives you a feeling of purpose. For too long I put that aside, thinking I had to have this weight loss thing all squared away before I could really pursue my dreams. WAY too long. As in, years. 

Learn from my mistakes, and live your best life NOW. Live on purpose NOW. :-)

Enjoy the journey (not just the destination),

Retta

JUNE 1st An Exciting Announcement!

As I sat down to write this post, I was amazed when I realized how many writers I've met along this weight/health journey. Not only bloggers, but book authors.  

Today I'm excited to tell you about one writer that is about to have a long held dream of hers come true: she is courageously announcing the launch of her new book today, due out this summer! 

She is our very own Jules aka Big Girl Bombshell, Here.

Her book is titled:

 Click 3 Times 

Beyond the Flying Monkeys

by

Jules Joyce

And yes, she loves that great old movie The Wizard of Oz. The metaphors in her book are based upon the rich symbolism from The Wizard of Oz.

Why am I involved with her book launch?? Because I had the honor to be asked to do the cover art for her book! 

I've followed Jules' blog for sometime now, and connected with her heart and vision of learning, changing and growing from the inside out, and with her courage to share that process with the world. Here is the cover for her new book (can click to enlarge):

For all the details and links, please visit Jules (HERE)  . Her book is honest and rich in imagery. The questions she asks  along her "yellow brick road", her personal journey, will open up your thinking to all sorts of new possibilities! I think you'll enjoy a peek behind the curtain of Big Girl Bombshell. 

For those interested in peeking behind the curtain of how the art was created... I'll be doing a series on my art blog (HERE)  as to how it was made. 

I'll bare it all:

from the ratty looking preliminary sketches 

to playing with color schemes (some were ghastly!) 

to what all the symbolism on the cover means

to tips on how to create your own cover for that e-book you know you want to write

to the finished book cover 

I took lots of photos, so it'll take several posts to cover it all. It should be fun... if you're into that kind of thing, LOL! Join me over at Art by Retta  for it, starting later today.

Congratulations Jules, on the birth announcement of your new book!

My book quote for today:  "It's not until you risk it all and go for the thing you really want that life becomes unlimited." --Richard Machowicz, Unleash The Warrior Within

My verse for today:  "He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them His way."

My quote for today: "Sometime in your life you will go on a journey. It will be the longest journey you have ever taken. It is the journey to find yourself." --Katherine Sharp

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 1019

FEB 22nd Just Mulling Stuff Over

Hello Journal & Friends,

So here I am, sitting at my computer reading a book on my Kindle program. It's a controversial (to me) book, about the brain, bingeing, different recovery methods and why they do NOT work, and how the author DID recover. 

Because I'm not finished, and it seems there are a few gaps in logic (ie, correlation does not equal causation, so sometimes I disagree with her conclusions), I'm not ready to name said book. Sorry if that sound mysterious. :-)  I promise to talk more freely when I finish the book, with an honest and full review.

Anyway, I'm reading along rather slowly, mulling it over as I go, and then wham! I get hit with a thought that I did NOT realize was in me... which was:

But if I DO what she's talking about, I'll in effect be shutting down my weight loss focused blog! 

And I will miss everyone! 

I will miss the people I've come to care about. 

I will miss the fascinating posts full of insightful and sometimes entertaining thoughts. 

I will miss the inspiring and kick-butt posts that seem to come right when I need them.

I will miss feeling a PART of a community of like-minded people, who are on a quest to improve their lives, reclaim their health and LIVE every day to it's fullest.

If I Do what she's talking about... it feels like I lose all this.

Because her main point is this: 

What we focus on grows

To constantly talk about food struggles, weight issues, slip ups and the perceived power of the urge to overeat only serves to STRENGTHEN it's stranglehold over me. 

To give "it" more focus is to further entrench that way of thinking more deeply into my neural pathways.

To shine the light on "it" over and over and over just carves that rut in my brain deeper and deeper.

So now, I have a new train of thought to ponder... do I continue business as usual? Or do I think of a way to shift my emphasis to a healthier direction? And how do I do that? 

Well, all this is what's been on my mind today. I haven't come to any conclusions yet. One thing I do know... it's a process. 

Maybe this is simply the next logical step along the way. Maybe we start out this journey naturally focused on identifying and understanding our issues, and as time goes on we turn a corner in the process. 

We move away from the "problem" and go TOWARDS the solution. We end up looking ahead, having gotten all we need from looking back. We focus on our new life, instead of our "old" life.

Just thinking out loud here. 

Bottomline, I feel ready to "let go" of the old way. The old habits and ingrained way of thinking. For once, FINALLY, there is no sense of panic that rises up within at that thought. No push to run to the kitchen and "soothe" over that uncomfortable feeling of being threatened. No fear of change. 

Maybe that means I am ready? Ready to embrace the change, instead of clawing and scratching my way to force a change.

I hope so. :-)

My book quote for today: "Here is a fact: someday you will die. What will you do with this incredible gift that is your life? Do you want to get to the end of the road and wish you had strived more, accomplished more, and loved more? To do these things you will have to take chances, demonstrate courage, and commit in a way that allows you to be flexible but never allows you to quit on yourself." --Richard Machowicz, Unleash the Warrior Within

My verse for today: "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope."

My quote for today: "The researches of so many eminent scientific men have thrown so much darkness upon the subject that if they continue their researches we shall soon know nothing."  --Artemus Ward, American writer and humorist, 1834 - 1867

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 919

FEB 14th Happy VD & Other Stuff

Hi Journal & Friends,

Okay, don't holler at me for the title... I know what VD stands for in medical circles! But I saw Anne use that at Carb Tripper and it cracked me up, so I shamelessly stole it! LOL! Come to think of it, she often cracks me up. :-D 

On to the Other Stuff...

I recently stumbled upon a website created by Todd Henry called the Accidental Creative, and found it fascinating. Don't have a clue how I got there, but am glad I did. 

They have free podcasts and one was an interview he did with author Michael Bungay Stanier, who wrote Do More Great Work (Here). 

Now, here's what caught my curiosity. Before I listened to the interview, I had clicked to his website to see if I was interested. There, the description of the book was TOTALLY BORING!! Ugh... yet the podcast had promised oh-so-great things.

Daredevil that I am (yeah, right) I listened anyway. Surprise! I found the interview extremely fascinating. The author was... different. And interesting, in an odd sort of way. I liked him! (Here is the podcast interview) 

He got on to the topic of "failure", and how we perceive it. And he went on to say he regularly meditates, and that "I regularly fail to meditate with any capacity whatsoever..." He explained that he found it difficult to focus, and yet he didn't see this as a negative. He just accepted that he was learning, refocused his breathing and went on. 

I loved his relaxed attitude. He was not threatened by a "perceived" failure. He talked about having the willingness to come back to whatever it is we are trying to learn, and to just go on. To be willing to be resilient. 

This goes along with what I've been thinking lately... about not being afraid of failure. To not hold back, but to leap out there, to dare, to live and be bold.

To try things, and see what does and does not work. To experiment and play and explore.

Just last night I watched a short youtube video interview with Maurice Sendak, the author/illustrator of Where The Wild Things Are. I didn't know he was so... crusty! And opinionated, thoughtful, outspoken, feisty, and bold. 

And he said something that most creative people can identify with... in fact, anyone who is standing on a cliff edge, wondering if they dare take that leap of faith and try something new. It doesn't matter if it's in a creative area, or a new plan to health and fitness... I think the principle holds true:

"Artists have to take a dive, and either you hit your head on a rock and you split your skull and you die... OR... that blow to the head is so inspiring that you come up and do the best work that you ever did. BUT... you have to take the dive, and you do not know what the results will be."

There's that message again... boldness. Living fearlessy and boldly. Take the dive, take the risk.

Right now I'm involved with some art projects I've never done before, and sometimes when I "think" too much, I start to say "but I'm in over my head". So... I don't think about that. :-D 

Instead I'm gonna remember what Maurice Sendak said, and take that leap of faith!

From Dr Phil's book: "Be willing to get out of your comfort zone and require more of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and behaviorally."

My verse for today: "Be exalted, O Lord, in your strength; we will sing and praise your might."

My quote for today: "Let the wild rumpus start!" --Maurice Sendak, Where The Wild Things Are

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 911

DEC 26th I DID it!

Hello Journal & Friends, 


I know, I know. I said I was on a blogging mini-vacation. I am... but I didn't say anything about VLOGGING!


As a Christmas gift to myself, I spent all day Sunday learning how to do The Vlog Thing. It took me 13 hours to get it right and able to upload, but my stubbornness paid off, LOL!


So now I'm sharing the results with you! :-O

Enjoy the Journey,


Loretta
=^..^=


Day 861

DEC 9th Planning a New Adventure

Good Evening Journal & Friends,

Okay... nuff controversary. Time for some fun! Well, it's fun for me, anywhoo. ;-)

I mentioned recently that next year one of my goals was to pluck up my courage and open my very own Zazzle  store. I no longer feel as though I have to get "skinny" before I step outside my comfort zone. :-)

Zazzle is an online shop that takes our own designs and puts them on stuff. Everything from prints, cards, posters, key chains and stickers, to personalized postage, t-shirts, buttons and coffee mugs. And tons more, too boring to list here. 

Anyway, before I get involved, I'd like to make sure I really want my NAME associated with them. In other words, I want to check out the quality of their printing and merchandise. So, I bought some stuff.

And most of them turned out terrific! 

I'll be honest in my review... I bought 5 things and: 

3 were fabulous 

1 was just okay 

1 was a little disappointing  

The actual merchandise seems very nice. For instance, the apron is not flimsy at all, but nice, bright white heavy poly/cotton fabric, neatly sewn. Same with the coffee mug: nice size and fabrication. My minor beef is just with how the images turned out on 2 items. And one of those might be because I didn't read close enough to know how big the final image was going to be... not sure about that one. Here's the deets:

We got two mousepads... here

is the one Jim chose, from one

of his waterfall photos. He likes the

quality and richness of the image.

Here is mine. I used one of my 

designs, and stuck on text that

was meaningful to me. I think it

came out crisp and colorful; overall

I am very satisfied. The background

is a soft gray, and my mouse glides very

 easily over the silky smooth surface. 

Eek, I sound like an infomercial!

I love the sturdy white fabric of my apron,

but have to say that in person the image

is not as bright as I had expected. 

Perfectionist?? Me?? Why, never. ;-) 

My mug turned out bold and fabulous!!

I am drinking tea out of it this very minute.

The colors are strong and vibrant, and

I added my new Mantra: 

I Can Do Hard Things

And last but not least... we got Joey

her very own t-shirt! We love how 

she looks in it, and it's adorable. But,

this is the one I was most disappointed 

in. The photo was sooo much smaller 

than I expected. Good thing we have

her in person to look at, LOL!

We're starting to get frost and snow here

in Southern Oregon, so she can keep cozy

when she goes outside to Do Her Business.

Oh, and dig to China after the gopher that 

decided to move into our backyard!

So far, I am leaning towards a thumbs UP on opening my own Zazzle store. It would be called Art by Retta, with a bunch of my designs available to put on shoes, hats, t-shirts, ipod cases, mugs, posters, office accessories, blah blah blah... all the stuff I've mentioned and more. I'll just do it in my spare time. (choke choke... if you only knew what a joke THAT was, LOL!) 

But Jules at Big Girl Bombshell recently had a wonderful post on choices, time and our goals. So my Zazzle store will happen when I make it a priority. Period. Thanks for that nudge, Jules.

Anyone use Zazzle before? Would you recommend it? If I'm headin for a cliff, I'd rather know BEFORE I feel air blowing in my hair! Just doing my research before I decide. :-D

From Dr Phil's book: "Having specific carefully mapped out, vividly envisioned goals is an absolute requirement for success."

My verse for today: "As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless."

My quote for today: "Age is something that just doesn't matter, unless you're a cheese." --Billie Burke

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 844

DEC 8th Irrelevant? Oh, REALLY??

Hi Journal & Friends,

This is my rebuttal. 

From an "over the hill" 60 year young person who will NOT go quietly off into the night. Who still has a thing or two to offer the world, and who is NOT over the hill yet. Who is not all used up and ready to warm a rocking chair on the porch.

What rattled my cage? What has me all spunkified?? 

The scheduled Super Bowl 2012 half-time show. 

Nope, don't plan to watch it. Am bored by football. But heard all about it on the... what else... internet.

Quite the controversy, eh? 

Here's the deal in a nutshell: Some folks are kibitzing over the fact that the half-time show headliner is an OLD LADY.... Madonna. 

She is... gasp... 60. Never mind she is a living legend. 

No, I've never been a fan. But I give credit where credit is due. 

She's been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. 

She has sold more albums than ANY other female singer, EVER. 

Yet, she's being called irrelevant, past her prime, over the hill, and even more vicious stuff I won't repeat here. Gimme a break!! 

Want to do something daring and bold?? Outrageous and adventurous?? 

Then go to THIS LINK and listen to the advice of this lovely OLD LADY named Marilyn... an Elder who talks about grabbing life by the horns and choosing to be daring and bold and fearless!! It's less than 2 minutes of your life... and you will be glad you did. Trust me... I'm an old fart, too. 

 PS: For the REALLY daring, go to THIS LINK  for a little parable as to why you don't mess with "old" folks! ;-)

Edited to clarify: I am NOT a Madonna fan. I don't like her raunchiness. I don't think she's a good role model for young ladies. I am simply acknowledging achievement. 


For instance, I love the art of Caravaggio, a 15th century incredibly talented Italian baroque painter. Stunningly talented. I give him credit where credit is due. But... he was also arrogant, violent and even killed a man in a brawl. In my youth, I was a black and white thinker. I would have rejected his art due to his lifestyle. Now, I have learned to acknowledge the good parts, and understand the source of the other. It's not all-or-nothing now, that's all I'm trying to say. :-)

From Dr Phil's book: "Start behaving in ways that make you feel really good about yourself."

My verse for today: "Your word, O Lord, is eternal; it stand firm in the heavens."

My Quote for today: "I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think." --Socrates

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 843