DEC 26th Improving Focus & The Hanging Neck

I loved this POST by Jules, in which she recalled her accomplishments from 2012. It made me realize I had started to focus too much on that fact that I was ending this year heavier than when I started.  

Yes, I needed to learn from it and make course corrections. But after I read her post, I started thinking about making my own "accomplishment list". In fact, I was toying with calling it "What I Learned In 2012". Just remembering some of it was encouraging! And that brought it home to me how much focus I had been putting on my disappointment in the weight loss... or lack thereof. 

My focus was aimed in the wrong direction! I want to focus, instead, on where I am going, and what I WANT, not on what I don't want... on my goals and dreams, and not get stuck in my mistakes. Also, on NOW... to LIVE in the present.

I had to remind myself that what I focus on GROWS! So I'd better take careful aim. I must admit, I'm feeling hugely  encouraged since I've been working on that consciously.

One of the comments on that post from Jules was from June, at The Path to Health.   I visited June's blog, and was set to giggling over the ending of THIS POST  of hers. It tickled my funny bone, because I knew just what she meant! 

She had posted a photo of herself... taken lying down! And made reference to a certain episode of The Golden Girls, and how that was the only position (laying down looking up into the camera) from which she wanted to take the photo, feeling old at the moment. 

Why could I relate?? Because just a few days ago I had to renew my drivers license. Yes... a new photo was required... aargh. It was... not what I had hoped!  (I was going to write ghastly, but that doesn't sound too positive, does it?!) :-D

The guy taking the photo kept saying "just relax". I thought I was relaxed. Later, as I was moaning about how awful it looked, MyGuy said: "He TOLD you to relax, and was trying to help, because you had your lips pursed!"

Well, THIS IS ME! Pursed lips, hanging neck and all! The alternative is to be under a tombstone, so I might as well "be thankful in all circumstances".

Instead of writing out my "accomplishment list for 2012" here today, I'd really rather include something I stumbled upon Christmas eve. I'd read it before, but maybe the timing is just right this time, and it struck a chord in me. 

The verses below were found written on the wall of a children's home in Calcutta, India, that Mother Teresa ran. Some say they seem to be adapted from something originally written by Kent M Keith in 1968. But Mother Teresa changed a few words and made it her own, especially her reference to God at the end.

I love Mother Teresa's version... so here it is in full. I want to keep this in mind going into this bright new year of 2013:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. 

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. 

Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.

Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.

Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.

Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.

It was never between you and them anyway.

Enjoy the journey anyway,

Loretta

Post 2022

JAN 19th Autopsy, Change & Upward Spiral of Success

Good afternoon Journal & Friends,

So... howz it going? The new year, your new energy, the fresh start... all that?? I know just by having traveled around the sun a few times that by now a few folks might be disappointed that they goofed up a couple of times... or more.

I did, too. But see, it's different now. My perception of it is different now. I'm not stopping to wallow in it, or beat myself up, or do the old all-or-nothing thinking any longer. Oh sure, I had a nanosecond or two of exasperation with myself. But really, that was all. I did a quick behavioral autopsy on it, learned, and moved on. 

And guess what? That feels good! In fact, I wanted to share something fascinating that I realized this week. I had an "oreo cookie" set of days. You know, the crummy day in the middle with two great days on either side. On that crummy day I ate 2600 calories... ack! Yes, it was on plan food. But the quantities were NOT on plan. 

But in my behavioral autopsy, here's what I learned:

-I didn't get much sleep the night before the crummy day. I was tired. I ached. I didn't want to put forth the effort to focus my thoughts. I let them drift. And they drifted right into the kitchen!

-The two days on either side of the crummy day were fantastic days! I did get enough sleep... I did make the effort to direct my thinking intentionally, instead of drifting. And one of those days I was having a ball learning how to video myself drawing, to make a vlog with it. It was a blast! I learned how to add music and everything. And guess what? I forgot... gasp... to eat! Then, when I realized I was hungry, I was annoyed at having to stop and grab something.

Me! Not wanting to eat! That happened on both those good days, when I was so wrapped up in fun and fascinating projects, that I was NOT INTERESTED IN EATING.

Okay, so what's the takeaway for YOU in all this? 

1. We CAN change. We really can. It may take awhile. It may take repeated falling down and getting up. You might have to experiment to see what works for YOU. But if you never quit, if you always keep going NO MATTER WHAT... you will make progress. You CAN change. I believe that with all my heart. I don't care what research insists. I don't care what your mama says. I don't care what "they" say. We CAN change.

2. Perception is key. I've always loved that little poem: Two men looked through prison bars; one saw mud and the other saw stars. I'm not bummed by my poor choices recently, because I can see my progress. I see that I'm learning. I see change, real change. In my sidebar I have a badge that says "Upward Spiral of Success". Just for fun, under it I'm tracking 100 days, and noting how many of them are On Plan days. Just because I have a goof-up day, I don't perceive this as going in circles. Because I'm learning and getting better, I see it as going UPward. Hence the name of the badge.

My plan is to post that new vlog next Tuesday for Toon Tuesday, and offer the pattern in black and white as a free download. If anyone is interested, they can join me in playing with it by coloring/changing/collaging it... whatever. Adding your own stuff to it. And then the following Tuesday we can post our results (if you want to) on our own blogs, linking to each other. I might be playing in this sandbox all alone, but that's okay... I had a blast doing that project, and was surprised and delighted to feel what it was like to be free from the obsession of food. To feel "normal". To feel like the Bully--that push to eat when not hungry--was banned from the playground.   I want more of that! :-D

(Photo source with excellent essay by Dr Dave)

PS: Some of you participated in a survey recently about what kinds of topics you'd like Coach Dayne  to talk about... just an update: It's still in the works! He's been sick, but will work on it when he's up to snuff again. I'll keep ya posted. 

From Dr Phil's book: "Your thoughts powerfully program you."

My verse for today: "Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever."

My quote for today: "Everything is hard before it is easy." --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

DAY 885

JAN 10th Butterflies & ReWriting the Dictionary

Hello Journal & Friends,

I've been listening to a podcast over and over by Eric Thomas (ET the HipHopPreacher).   This was the first video of 2012... he does this every Monday. Wow... I'm looking forward to Mondays! I converted it to audio only, so I could listen on my iPod. Gotta love technology. :-)

ET is a high energy motivational speaker, and I'm finding what he says to be a challenge.  A challenge to my preconcieved mindset. A challenge to make this the year of DOING. A challenge to up my game, and take my efforts to the next level. He says to accept the challenge!

The challenge to change my thinking about emotional pain... to redefine my how I interpret it. To give it a positive definition, rather than to look at it as something to run away from... and in my case, my lifelong habit was to run away from pain and dive into the food for escape.

Snippets from the video:

• ET says to redefine "pain"! 

• Change our mindset, how we think about emotional pain.

• To see it as the doorway thru which you must go through to reach success. 

• That without struggle, there is no progress.

• To remember that on the other side of pain is success.

• All roads to success go through pain.

• And there are no shortcuts to that success.

• If you can outlast that discomfort, I guarantee you that on the other side of it is success.

• Change how you see pain... I want you to welcome it.

• How comfortable can you be with being uncomfortable.

• Take your weakness and turn it into a strength, and you will take it to the next level.

• Start doing things that you've never done before... start giving stuff a try.

• You've got to embody excellence.

• Every single day you wake up, you've got to give it all you've got!

• Don't fool yourself into thinking this year will be better than last year if you're still making excuses.

• You cannot cheat success. You've gotta work for it. You've gotta breathe it, you've gotta sleep it, you've gotta eat it. You've gotta put forth 120%!

• For the butterfly to fly, it's gotta go through the cocoon process... there's no way around it.

Here's ET's YouTube video,  I highly recommend it if you want a kick in the rear to supercharge your year! The power talk starts about 1:35 minutes in. Do yourself a favor, and invest about 11 minutes of your time now, that will affect the REST of your year! I Subscribed, so each Monday the new video lands in my inbox. My success won't "just happen". I must choose what I put into my mind!

Speaking of choosing... I chose the butterfly image for my new header at the top of this blog BEFORE I listened to this talk. This butterfly is from a series I painted that I called my Transformation Series. It's very meaningful to me... so now you know why this talk grabbed my attention. :-) I want 2012 to be my year to bust out of the cocoon and fly!

(can click to enlarge)

From Dr Phil's book:  "When you are on the right track, there is an enormous energy that uplifts you."

My verse for today: "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power."

My quote for today: "Right thinking begins with the words we say to ourselves." --James Allen

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

DAY 876

JAN 1st New Year, New Weight & New Poll

Hi Journal & Friends,

Yay... it's a brand new year, like a shiny new penny. I always like that... so full of possibilities. 

And it's cool that my monthly weigh-in is on the first day of this new year, too. Drumroll.... 327, for a loss last month of 8 lbs. I was shooting for 10, but hey, I'll take it and do a happy dance to boot! :-D

I am so excited to tell you about an informal poll I'm taking. I want YOUR suggestions!! 

For the last 2 years I've followed a blog that has taught me so much: Coach Your Mind, by Coach Dayne Gingrich.   He was a professional athlete, and now teaches others how to have a winning mindset... what he calls The 1%. That's because most people will fall into the 99% category of drifting along, not knowing how, or not choosing to pay the price to achieve their highest potential (that's MY summary).

Well, I want to be one of the 1%. 

I want to be teachable. 

I want to do whatever it takes to achieve my goals. 

And that's where YOU come in. Coach Dayne has made a most generous offer. He is shortly going to be doing a series of teachings, and his "regular" target audience is the athlete. 

But he's offered to include one just for us, the weight loss community! 

He asked what YOU would like to hear about, anything having to do with MINDSET. What you are interested in learning more about, what you struggle with, what you'd like to learn... such as conquering fears and doubts; how to get or stay motivated; how to use visualization to help you achieve your goals; believing in yourself; learning to focus, etc etc. 

 Edited to add: I got my facts scrambled, sorry. The 1% Academy is a separate project, and then he is offering to do a video just for us! This will be after the 1% Academy, on January 13th. 

Think about it, and if you have an idea, please leave a comment and I'll make sure Coach Dayne gets our ideas. The 1% Academy is due to start January 9th, so we've got to get our suggestions in real soon. I'm looking forward to this, and I hope you will join me. Here's the trailer for the 1% Academy, click HERE.

I am totally convinced that our mindset, our attitude, our thinking, can make or break us on this journey to health. We need our mindset to be our ALLIE, not our enemy. It can be our greatest friend, or deadliest foe. 

I get nice comments at times about how much weight I've lost so far. It's taken me a long time to get this far, but it's the first time in my life I've KEPT it off, instead of yo yo-ing. If you really want to do that, too, you'll need to do what I've had to do: work on your mindset. It takes time. You must be willing to invest TIME in yourself. Read, listen, learn. CHANGE YOUR THINKING. I'm being real blunt and honest here. It won't "just happen". You MUST carve out time in your busy schedule for this. You just must. I had to. I had to give up other stuff to do just that. But it was worth it to me.

I am determined to be among that 1% that has unleashed the power that is available to us all, that of having a powerful, positive and healthy mindset. Am I feeling enthusiastic about this?? You betcha! I hope you'll join me, and let me know in the comments what you'd like to hear about from Coach Dayne's video just for us. :-)

From Dr Phil's book: "Your thoughts powerfully program you."

My verse for today: "How priceless is your unfailing love."

My quote for today: "If you stubbornly demand and expect that weight loss and life should be easy, you will consistently fail at weight loss. Why? Life and weight loss are often not easy and there is nothing you can do to change that fact. Long-term weight loss is not for children or sissies. I wish it was but it is not. Get over it and get on with it."  --Dr Matthew Anderson

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

DAY 867

DEC 11th If I Don't Get Tuff... I'm Gonna Die Fat??

Hidy Ho Journal & Friends,

Ever read or hear something that you LOVE... and HATE at the same time?!! 

You love the parts you agree with, and hate the parts you are convinced he got wrong? You find youself arguing with your iPod as you listen to the interview?

You'd love to "straighten this guy out" so his message could be improved, and that way he could help more folks. But he is convinced that those that are upset by his message are "just making excuses".

So... he has closed his OWN thinking off, to seeing a different perspective that might have validity, which could actually improve his message. 

Sigh... I debated even writing about all this, since it's so frustrating. But I will. :-D

Because I decided, FOR ME, to be teachable and "eat the meat and spit out the bones."  This guy has some good stuff. Really good stuff.

He does have good ideas, albeit presented in a blunt way. I don't think he's trying to be mean or mocking, like some internet bullies I've crossed swords with... no, to me his heart seems in the right place.

Enough vagueness. His name is Steve Siebold, and he makes his living as a motivational speaker. The core of all his messages have to do with MENTAL TOUGHNESS.

And this time, he wrote a book after he gained 40 pounds, then lost it. It's called

Die Fat or Get Tough: 

101 Differences in Thinking 

Between Fat People and Fit People.

Yeah, he likes to use shock value to "break through the walls of self-delusion". I suppose that works with some personality types. His main idea is to smack you in the face with the differences between how Fat People think versus how Fit People think. Unfortunately his blunt approach repulses as many people as it reaches. The poor guy has even had death threats!!!

Disclaimer: I have not read the book. Why?? Because after reading a ton of reviews on Amazon.com, reading excerpts at his website (you can get the first 5 chapters for free), and listening to several interviews with Steve, I get the gist of it. I get it. I really do. And agree 100% with the mental aspects of his message. My own summary of his book would be something like: You made the choices that broke it, and you have the power to fix it. It's time to grow up, and make healthy choices. You can DO this!  

To me, that message is empowering, and I can get behind it. The part that drives me NUTSO in his approach is that he doesn't take into account that we were told by all the authorities for a LIFETIME that eating a certain way (low fat and lots of "healthy" whole grains and high carbs) was THE way to lose weight and get healthy. And now we are a fatter, sicker nation, with a raging diabetes epidemic. That's no excuse. It's the truth. Some of us tried for years, but it was like swimming upstream against a hard current... exhausting and not making much progress.

I was put on my first diet at age 10. That's FIFTY YEARS AGO!!!!! :-O  I searched and searched for a sustainable "diet", and tried, literally, several dozen. It's not just a matter of being fat and lazy. Some of us really tried. But were working with the wrong information. Did we go through times of despair, and just give up for a time?? Did we choose to eat food to affect our emotions, to bring relief, escape, or a thousand other reasons? 

Yes, we did. Or we wouldn't be fat. 

Yes, *I* did, or I wouldn't be fat.

Do you have any idea how hard it is not to be sucked totally down the drain of hopelessness and self-loathing, after trying and failing that many times??? 

But to our credit, we didn't give up permanently. We tried to learn. We got up and went ON. 

He seems to know nothing about metabolism or the science behind weight loss. The best book I've read on that lately is by Gary Taubes: Why We Get Fat and What To Do About It.  It's not a rah rah motivational book. It's full of solid science and facts. I highly recommend it.

Do any of Steve's arguments apply?? Yes, of course. But I'm just saying, he's too simplistic, that's all. Anyway, back to the part of his message that I DO agree with, the mental stuff. 

Basically, after all the legitimate factors are accounted for, we are left with: NOW WHAT?? What am I going to DO about it? 

And I agree with him, that it takes mental toughness. (Now for all you Christians out there, cool your jets. :-) My Rock, my Strength comes from God. I'm talking here not about the spiritual foundation we all need... but about what we allow ourself to think about, which plays out in our actions. Now that we have THAT cleared up...)

Mental toughness

Hmmm...  that's actually a term I've puzzled over for many years! Long before it became sort of popular now, and the topic du jour of todays motivational speakers.

So... I decided to be teachable. To not get offended. To not accept the parts he missed the mark on, and accept the parts where he hit the bullseye. He lost his weight in his late 30's, and is still learning. So in time, I'll bet his message is tempered with experience and wisdom. 

In the mean time, here are some quotes I transcribed directly from an interview with Steve Siebold that I heard on HCL BlogTalkRadio, hosted by Audley Stephenson (no relation to moi).

• Make a decision. 
• Make a decision you're going to do this... if you do the work, you'll see the results. 
• This is not complicated... make a decision and take responsibility.
• If you're going to program yourself for success, you've got to do what successful people do.
• Don't feel bad about yourself, don't beat yourself up. Just make a decision that you're going to solve it.
• There's really no staying neutral. You're going to either have to solve it, or you're probably going to die fat.
• Study how fit people think, they really think differently that fat people.
• Study as many world class experts on health and fitness as you can.
• Beginning today, invest 15 minutes a day studying an expert you respect.
• When your beliefs start to change, your behavior starts to follow your beliefs.
• Self-talk is very powerful.
• This is not about being comfortable. This is about being successful. There's a difference!

You can go to Amazon.com  and click on Look Inside, and read several pages for yourself. I'd be curious to read what others in our online wt loss community think about it. I mean, we are already working on it, or we wouldn't be here. So I have to wonder if our reaction would be different than someone who is NOT actively working on it. I kinda think it would sting!

So in summary: 

I do NOT agree with him when he denies there are legitimate factors that affect our weight loss attempts. 

I DO agree we can't be successful if we allow those factors to make us victims. 

I DO agree we need to ask NOW WHAT? and get on with solving it. 

I DO agree that how we think is absolutely crucial, and that's where I can learn from him.

To be fair, here's Steve's website,  so he gets the last word. 

;-)

From Dr Phil's book: "Change your thinking to change your weight."

My verse for today: "Praise be to the Lord my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle."

My quote for today: "You must do the things you think you cannot do." --Eleanor Roosevelt

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

DAY 847

SEPT 1st Living Life NOW & A Knowing

Hi Journal & Friends,


Is it the first of September already?! August went by so fast... weigh in time: 335. That's up 2 pounds from last month. And... I am feeling happy, strong and encouraged.

Say what?? Loretta, are you delusional... in denial... not facing reality... playing ostrich... not being honest??? 

No...(well, at least I don't THINK so, LOL), it's just that during my Blogcation, I did a lot of thinking and evaluating. And decided to get back to my roots. To what worked before I started trying to copy others that I was reading, following, admiring... and forgot that what THEY were doing was great for THEM. But not necessarily for ME. 

I'm glad we can learn from each other... but I need to remember this is MY journey, and not get side-tracked. Not feel like I am wrong if what I'm doing is different. And not worry about fitting in, or being accepted or even understood. And not to compare me with them... to do what works for me. 

And what is that??? 

Keep my eyes on the prize... don't get stuck looking backward, repeatedly chasing my tail.

Remember WHY I am doing this... my reasons for being, for wanting health, my purpose and passions.

All this stuff I'm talking about is for ME only... it's where *I* am on this journey. I was put on my first diet at about 10 years old!!! Meaning... I've been at this for a loooonnngggg time. I've spent years digging down, uncovering issues and putting them to rest. Coming to terms with being like an "addict" with food. Accepting that I am responsible for where I'm at here, now. And also learning that's GOOD news, because it means I can change it by changing my choices.

And... coming to peace with my imperfections, and the fact that I often fall flat on my face, in spite of my best efforts, in spite of "saying" all the right things.

But... I have learned, absolutely, totally, 100%, that the secret to making it is to Never Quit. To stop looking back all the time over my shoulder, wallowing in my temporary defeats, but to go forward. Learn from it, yes. But to go forward. I'm not talking about never quitting blogging... I'm talking never quitting going towards my goals. I'm talking about doing it... the actions, not just the talking about the actions.

You know the old saying about being careful to not believe our own hype?? Well, last night as I drifted off to sleep thinking of all this... the thought struck me that it's also dangerous to believe my own "labels"... my own moanings, groanings, fallings and stumblings, struggles. 

What I mean by that is... just because I lose one little skirmish along the way, it doesn't mean I've lost the war. For ME (not saying this is for anyone else still working all this out in their head) I am no longer accepting the label of addict, or compulsive overeater, or any other label du jour. I don't mind "recovering" whatever. But labels are powerful. And I am no longer claiming one... 

Except that of overcomer! 

Other words/labels that I'm willing to claim are all going to be healthy and positive... and if that galls you, and you think that's not "honest" or true, or it's Pollyanna thinking, then you don't understand me. Or you skimmed this in a hurry, and missed the part where I emphasized that this is for ME, where I am at personally.

I am not ignoring reality at all... I choose to learn from it and go ON. I am simply claiming I have a choice as to what direction I want to go in! I am choosing who I want to be! 

I simply do not accept it is impossible to change. I believe God when He said "with God all things are possible." He's my Source, my Rock and my reason as to why I can Know and Trust these things.

My point is I can CHOOSE my focus...

Backward or forward.

Discouraged or try again.

Depressed or hopeful.

Fearful or willing to take heart.

Focusing on my weaknesses, or remembering my strengths! 

And... I do have a few strengths. We all do, even when we don't feel them.

I've been up and down these last few weeks, finding my footing again. At the first part of the month, I ate enough calories to send me up the scale about 6 pounds... and now I'm on my way back down. I'm not doing "perfect"... never will. But I am being more consistent, and finally hitting my stride. Feeling more peaceful and hopeful. And knowing...

Knowing. 

Knowing I am on the right track.

Knowing I will get there... not sure when, but I will.

Knowing it's alright to "have a life" and not be consumed with weight loss.

To LIVE my life now, instead of wishing and hoping for it someday. Yeah... I haven't blogged as much lately. And it kind of annoyed me when one commentor (forget where I read this) assumed it was a negative when people blogged less or took a blog vacation, as if actually LIVING a life instead of writing about a life was wrong. Well, DUH! Isn't that what we all want?? To get healthy so we can live our lives to the fullest???? 

The answer for me is Yes. That is why I'm here in the first place. Why I started recording my journey here in the beginning. And I'm going back to that... to the Forward Focus even as I live NOW. And I'm feeling good about it. :-)

Here is an excerpt from something written by Ralph Marston, which means a lot to me:

Whatever happened on the previous attempt doesn't matter 

anymore. 

What matters is what you do now.

Though you may have failed once, or numerous times, or a 

thousand times, 

that has no bearing on what you're able to 

do now. 

In fact, each failed attempt brings you closer to 

success.

By discovering what does not work, 

you have more information 

to help you know what does work....

Effort is never wasted...

Now is the time to make use of all that strength and 

experience. 

Now is the time to push forward...

I have Mr Marston's Mini Daily Motivator in my sidebar, if you are interested in more.

I am thankful for a lot of sources of inspiration that helped to solidy these ideas in my head... one of them is a terrific post by Coach Dayne at Coach Your Mind.  A real eye-opener, it was. :-) 

Edited to add: Deb left a wonderfully helpful comment, so let me just say this:  the kinds of labels I'm referring to have to do with the mental aspects of this journey... not medical things we deal with. Hope that helps clarify. :-)

From Dr Phil's book: "What is true about you in your mind, you will live."

My verse for today: "Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord."

My quote for today: "If you look at the world, you'll be distressed. If you look within, you'll be depressed. If you look at God, you'll be at rest." --Corrie Ten Boom, survivor of Ravensbrook Concentration Camp during WWII, author of The Hiding Place

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

DAY 746

PS: Not trying to hide my weight ticker, I just can't seem to get it to work... will have to make a new one soon.


PPS: Sorry if this is all hard to read, with weird spacing and all... Blogger is acting all stupid today, and it took me several tries just to get this to post at all. :-O