Thursday, September 1, 2011

SEPT 1st Living Life NOW & A Knowing

Hi Journal & Friends,

Is it the first of September already?! August went by so fast... weigh in time: 335. That's up 2 pounds from last month. And... I am feeling happy, strong and encouraged.

Say what?? Loretta, are you delusional... in denial... not facing reality... playing ostrich... not being honest??? 

No...(well, at least I don't THINK so, LOL), it's just that during my Blogcation, I did a lot of thinking and evaluating. And decided to get back to my roots. To what worked before I started trying to copy others that I was reading, following, admiring... and forgot that what THEY were doing was great for THEM. But not necessarily for ME. 

I'm glad we can learn from each other... but I need to remember this is MY journey, and not get side-tracked. Not feel like I am wrong if what I'm doing is different. And not worry about fitting in, or being accepted or even understood. And not to compare me with them... to do what works for me. 

And what is that??? 

Keep my eyes on the prize... don't get stuck looking backward, repeatedly chasing my tail.

Remember WHY I am doing this... my reasons for being, for wanting health, my purpose and passions.

All this stuff I'm talking about is for ME only... it's where *I* am on this journey. I was put on my first diet at about 10 years old!!! Meaning... I've been at this for a loooonnngggg time. I've spent years digging down, uncovering issues and putting them to rest. Coming to terms with being like an "addict" with food. Accepting that I am responsible for where I'm at here, now. And also learning that's GOOD news, because it means I can change it by changing my choices.

And... coming to peace with my imperfections, and the fact that I often fall flat on my face, in spite of my best efforts, in spite of "saying" all the right things.

But... I have learned, absolutely, totally, 100%, that the secret to making it is to Never Quit. To stop looking back all the time over my shoulder, wallowing in my temporary defeats, but to go forward. Learn from it, yes. But to go forward. I'm not talking about never quitting blogging... I'm talking never quitting going towards my goals. I'm talking about doing it... the actions, not just the talking about the actions.

You know the old saying about being careful to not believe our own hype?? Well, last night as I drifted off to sleep thinking of all this... the thought struck me that it's also dangerous to believe my own "labels"... my own moanings, groanings, fallings and stumblings, struggles. 

What I mean by that is... just because I lose one little skirmish along the way, it doesn't mean I've lost the war. For ME (not saying this is for anyone else still working all this out in their head) I am no longer accepting the label of addict, or compulsive overeater, or any other label du jour. I don't mind "recovering" whatever. But labels are powerful. And I am no longer claiming one... 

Except that of overcomer! 

Other words/labels that I'm willing to claim are all going to be healthy and positive... and if that galls you, and you think that's not "honest" or true, or it's Pollyanna thinking, then you don't understand me. Or you skimmed this in a hurry, and missed the part where I emphasized that this is for ME, where I am at personally.

I am not ignoring reality at all... I choose to learn from it and go ON. I am simply claiming I have a choice as to what direction I want to go in! I am choosing who I want to be! 

I simply do not accept it is impossible to change. I believe God when He said "with God all things are possible." He's my Source, my Rock and my reason as to why I can Know and Trust these things.

My point is I can CHOOSE my focus...

Backward or forward.
Discouraged or try again.
Depressed or hopeful.
Fearful or willing to take heart.

Focusing on my weaknesses, or remembering my strengths! 

And... I do have a few strengths. We all do, even when we don't feel them.

I've been up and down these last few weeks, finding my footing again. At the first part of the month, I ate enough calories to send me up the scale about 6 pounds... and now I'm on my way back down. I'm not doing "perfect"... never will. But I am being more consistent, and finally hitting my stride. Feeling more peaceful and hopeful. And knowing...


Knowing I am on the right track.
Knowing I will get there... not sure when, but I will.
Knowing it's alright to "have a life" and not be consumed with weight loss.

To LIVE my life now, instead of wishing and hoping for it someday. Yeah... I haven't blogged as much lately. And it kind of annoyed me when one commentor (forget where I read this) assumed it was a negative when people blogged less or took a blog vacation, as if actually LIVING a life instead of writing about a life was wrong. Well, DUH! Isn't that what we all want?? To get healthy so we can live our lives to the fullest???? 

The answer for me is Yes. That is why I'm here in the first place. Why I started recording my journey here in the beginning. And I'm going back to that... to the Forward Focus even as I live NOW. And I'm feeling good about it. :-)

Here is an excerpt from something written by Ralph Marston, which means a lot to me:

Whatever happened on the previous attempt doesn't matter 


What matters is what you do now.

Though you may have failed once, or numerous times, or a 

thousand times, 

that has no bearing on what you're able to 

do now. 

In fact, each failed attempt brings you closer to 


By discovering what does not work, 
you have more information 

to help you know what does work....

Effort is never wasted...

Now is the time to make use of all that strength and 


Now is the time to push forward...

I have Mr Marston's Mini Daily Motivator in my sidebar, if you are interested in more.

I am thankful for a lot of sources of inspiration that helped to solidy these ideas in my head... one of them is a terrific post by Coach Dayne at Coach Your Mind.  A real eye-opener, it was. :-) 

Edited to add: Deb left a wonderfully helpful comment, so let me just say this:  the kinds of labels I'm referring to have to do with the mental aspects of this journey... not medical things we deal with. Hope that helps clarify. :-)

From Dr Phil's book: "What is true about you in your mind, you will live."

My verse for today: "Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord."

My quote for today: "If you look at the world, you'll be distressed. If you look within, you'll be depressed. If you look at God, you'll be at rest." --Corrie Ten Boom, survivor of Ravensbrook Concentration Camp during WWII, author of The Hiding Place

Enjoy the Journey,


DAY 746

PS: Not trying to hide my weight ticker, I just can't seem to get it to work... will have to make a new one soon.

PPS: Sorry if this is all hard to read, with weird spacing and all... Blogger is acting all stupid today, and it took me several tries just to get this to post at all. :-O


Anonymous said...

I read this earlier and had to think about it before I could comment.

I had to think about it because while I agree that the acceptance of certain lables is self-defeating and downright harmful, like believeing that you're a failure, I think that certain label-accepting is beneficial. So I had to think about what I wanted to say.

Currently--well, for the last year--I've fought accepting the label, "gluten-intolerant". I have railed against it.

Despite all personal experience and MD diagonses to the contrary, I have found it hard to believe that I'm not making this whole gluten thing up. It is so "in" right now to be gluten-intolerant. I MUST be just imagining it. Right?

Except that when I eat gluten, I pay an incredible price in ill-health and weight gain. (Like I have all of August. Some serious label refusing this month.)

The bottom line is that until I really accept the label of being gluten-intolerant, I will not do what I need to do to achieve heath. I wiil, instead, keep testing the waters by eating gluten.

So, I guess it's how labels move you that count. If they keep you mired in defeat, labels are seriously bad! If they give you a target to shoot at, if they give you info that will equip you to develop a strategy to overcome the consequences of your 'label', then they're a good thing.

Bottom line? Whatever works for you, girlfriend, whatever works for you. :)

Personally, I'm working on submitting to the reality of my label so that I will act accordingly--and have to admit that it's not going well. :{


affectionforfitness said...

I almost quit blogging a few months ago because I had forgotten the *me* aspect of blogging too. I now make posts that are what I want to say, even if people disagree. And I have found that even if people don't agree, at least they are curious to hear a different point of view.

For that matter, I like how you blog. Don't change to be like others. :D

:-) Marion

Rettakat said...

MARION: I appreciate that, thank you. :-)

DEB: I'm so glad that you DID leave this comment. Cuz it helped me see I wasn't specific enough, and clear in what I was trying to say. :-)

I didn't mean labels referring to stuff we really can NOT change. For instance, I am carb-sensitive. VERY carb-sensitive, that's why I stopped eating sugar. But, I wouldn't claim a label that communicates I have no choice, on that makes me feel like a trapped victim..key words being, makes ME feel that way. I get it that isn't true for everyone. That's why I emphasized that this is just me. It's a pretty subjective thing.

I, personally, have a problem with those types of labels that try to limit ME and tell me that I will always be at the mercy to a behavior over which I have a choice.

I might "be" a food addict...but how does it benefit me to constantly, repeatedly program my mind with that label. Why not focus on getting healthy, on making better choices, on believing God is giving me what it takes to live a healthy as possible life? To focus on my freedom to improve and change? I can't and don't try to deny my "realities"... I just want to be careful that I differentiate between the ones that I can NOT change, and those that I CAN. And sometimes I am finding it a fine line there! But... I'm working on it. :-)

Sorry if I didn't make it clearer the types of labels I was thinking about. It was a pretty long post already. :-}


Hungry For a Quiet Mind said...

It's so easy to get attached to what other people think. While others can be extremely motivating it takes something inside our own selves to make the important things happen.

I agree with you wholeheartedly.

Never quit!!

Diana said...

I love this post! I love the positive attitude and not buying into the diet of the day.

I agree that we can all learn from each other, but we have to filter out what doesn't work for us. I know I can get caught up in what others are doing, and forget that I'm not them.

Getting back to what worked for you in the past is a great idea. Sort what I'm trying to do too. :)

Christine said...

I agree..we each have what works for us. I think you should go full tilt on what works for you! rooting for you bud.

Sharon said...

I love the upbeat tone in your writing today. And I appreciate your statement that we can't (or shouldn't) always assume that when a blogger gets "quiet," it means they've fallen off the wagon. When I go a few extra days without posting, it usually means I'm off having fun somewhere!!

Cinner said...

Loretta, I loved your post today, I sat back and thought to myself. She sounds so strong and positive, and I am happy for you. You may want to read my post today and I am having a giveaway if you want to get in on it. take care. and yes Never Quit...hugs dear friend.

debby said...

As someone who is very easily influenced by others ideas, I really appreciate this. I have to constantly remind myself that what they are doing I already know won't work for me.

Thanks again for your encouraging words about my surgery--they were really helpful. I have told everyone about them, and said, "and she's a REAL artist, so it really helped me."

Anneli said...

HI Loretta! LOVED the post. I too am finally figuring out that not quitting IS the big secret. Let's keep it up!

M Pax said...

Keep moving forward. I believe in framing things positively. It's what worked for me. Living life is great. :)

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