MAR 12th On Finding Harmony

Hello Journal & Friends,

This morning I read a most wonderful post by Carla aka Mizfit.  It was about that question we've all heard: Can we have it all?

But the parts that struck ME were more about finding HARMONY... instead of looking for that elusive "balance". And also that maybe we need to re-define what the "all" is that we are working towards. It's an individual thing.

Her post touched me. The photos of her "all"... of her husband and child. Discovering that she already had her "all".

And I also thought about why I've been feeling sort of wordless when it comes to writing posts lately. I've been directing my energies in other directions - towards my art - and in doing so, I'm sort of "empty" by the time it comes to writing here. But... am I really?

I puzzled over that, and think I figured out at least part of the reason why: when I write here, I want it to mean something. I mean, not be "filler" or fluff. I want it to be real. To matter to me. And that takes digging INWARD... it takes energy and passion. 

And I've been spending that energy and passion on other stuff! So... that's why Mizfit's post struck me. I thought I had to "balance" it all... do it all... keep up with it all. And that expectation made me feel guilty, and like a failure, and frustrated that there were never enough hours in the day!

So... what to do??

I had to ask myself some hard questions. I had to be honest with myself. I would LIKE to think I am oh-so-strong that the occasional negative comments left here don't bother me. 

But they do. I considered shutting off the comments, but I admit I would miss the interaction with most of you that I consider online friends. 

When I consider letting it all hang out, sharing what's going through my head, or what I am learning... I'd like to say that I am fearless and do it regardless. But that's not the truth. 

The truth is... there have been several times lately when I felt the urge to share a neat thing I discovered, or am learning, or am thinking about... and didn't. I just didn't feel like fielding the criticisms and judgements. 

And yes, it pisses me off that I've allowed idiots to influence what I write. People that are so pin-headed and full of themselves that they don't understand that this IS a learning journey. That most of us are here because we do NOT have our act all together. We ARE learning, discovering and finding our way back to health. To not only physical health, but emotional, mental and spiritual health.

So... what to do??

I dunno yet. :-}

My book quote for today: "Never let anyone discourage you from your dreams or goals, no matter how big or small, because no one can ever guess how much you're capable of doing. You're the only one who can decide that." --Richard Machowicz, Unleash The Warrior Within

My verse for today: "Because He turned his ear to me, I will call on Him as long as I live."

My quote for today: "Fulfillment of your authentic purpose is worth every effort. Never settle for less from yourself than the absolute best you can be." --Ralph Marston

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 938

JULY 8th Don't Give the Elephant Free Reign!

Happy Saturday to Journal & Friends!

So... I had started a whiney post about how I was about to deep six this current experiment I started last Monday. See, I did a sneak peek weigh in this morning. Yeah, I know, those are never a good idea! Anyway, since last Monday I had GAINED 6 POUNDS. Say what???!!!

I was sad.

I was mad.

I was scared.

I was about to say this is stupid, and go back to what I was doing before... even though IT wasn't working. At least I didn't suddenly start gaining like that.

Then... I did some blog surfing this morning, and stumbled on a post by Dr Michael Eades. Most people in the low carb community know of Dr Eades' credibility and stature. He is highly respected. So I started reading with mild interest... then sat bolt up right when I read the following:

"The surest road to failure in the first few days of low-carb dieting is to listen to your body.  The whole notion of listening to your body is one of my major pet peeves.... Listening to your body is giving the elephant free rein. If you’re three days into your stop-smoking program, and you listen to your body, you’re screwed.  If you’re in drug rehab, and you listen to your body, you’re screwed.  If you’re trying to give up booze, and you listen to your body, you’re screwed.  And if you’re a week into your low-carb diet, and you listen to your body, you’re screwed.  Actually, it’s okay to listen to it, I suppose, just don’t do what it’s telling you to do because if you do, you’re screwed."

(This is a short excerpt; for the whole spunky article, read HERE). 

Where is that delete button?? I ditched what I was originally going to say. Instead, I will suck it up and continue. I will at least wait for my two week experiment to reach the two weeks before I hit the panic button. 

This isn't my first experience with low carb. I've been essentially doing it since March of  2009. But I'm just now learning to count the carbs accurately, and experimenting with a protein rich breakfast. So... I'll keep working on getting the right mix of fats, proteins and carbs.

Continuing with determination on the 

Carb Conquest Cruise. 

No detours here!!

From Dr Phil's book:  "Your thoughts powerfully program you."

My verse for today:  "But you are a shield around me, O Lord."

My quote for today: "Virtually all the happiness-producing processes in our lives take time, usually a long time: learning new things, changing old behaviors, building satisfying relationships, raising children. This is why patience and determination are among life's primary virtues." --Gordon Livingston

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 693

JULY 7th On the Carb Conquest Cruise!

Good Afternoon

 Journal & Friends!

I've joined Deb on her Carb Conquest Cruise, and wanted to give an update. Bottomline: it's going great and I am excited!

I'm not saying it's all been perfect. Far from it. But I am learning so much, and each day seems to get better n better. 

What are you learning, you ask? Why, thank you for asking. I shall tell you. ;-)

I am learning:

... that once my barrier to change was broken down on one topic, it became a smidge easier to be WILLING to look at other areas that could benefit from change.

... that once I changed my attitude and decided that I WAS going to learn to count those dang carbs... it wasn't as hard as I had anticipated.

... that it really helps to be accountable to someone who is doing the same type, or similar plan, because they understand, they get it.

... that I needed to get real honest with myself that what I was doing had stopped working (guesstimating the carbs) and I needed to change, and learn to do it properly and accurately.

... that I still had a lot to learn about balancing the calories with the carbs. I tend to run out of calories before I hit my target of 40 carbs per day, and then my calories have been climing too high. EeeK! So, I'm learning to balance that out.

... that going to bed a little earlier and getting up... gasp... a little earlier in order to eat a proper protein rich breakfast won't kill me, LOL!

... that my main downfall can be summed up by the description "random unplanned eating". When I make a menu out and stick to it, allowing for flexibility but only at the PLANNED TIME, and not at unplanned random Munchfests, then I do so much better. Way better. Hugely better. Can we say: I succeed!

... that I should pay attention after I pray. It came as a pleasant surprise to realize that all this information and change came only a day or so AFTER I had prayed a simple "HELP!!"  God is gracious and loving, and I believe He WANTS to help us. I'm reminded of an old song that is sung to the tune of Dannyboy. One line goes: "He looked beyond our faults and saw our need."

... that there are wonderful and generous people out there that aren't out to "get you" and take your money. That they really do just want to share their knowledge to help people help themselves. One such person that I've been learning from is a neurosurgeon named Dr Jack Kruse.   He shares his protocol about regaining Leptin Sensitivity (leptin is the "master hormone" that regulates all the rest he says). It's a lot of reading--but worth it, so for anyone interested, here is his Blog.

... And lastly, that we CAN change. *I* can change. All I need is to be willing, and find the right information. God will meet me where I am at. I am no longer going to "claim" and label myself as one who overeats at night... that nighttime eating is my downfall. It USED to be. No more. I am saying I am changing, and learning, and no longer a slave to that. I am willing to change, and choosing it. Because what I get in exchange for it is worth it. :-)

From Dr Phil's book: "Change your thinking to change your weight."

My verse for today: "The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge; the ears of the wise seek it out."

My quote for today: "Condemnation without investigation is the height of ignorance."  --Albert Einstein

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 692

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DAY 509 Seussian Toon Tuesday

Hi Journal & Friends,

Just dinking around on Toon Tuesday. :-)

(click to enlarge)

For more Toon Tuesday fun, you really should visit Anne at Carb Tripper.

From Dr Phil's book: "Don't just wake up every morning and react to what happens... Be proactive by setting goals and making plans for their attainment."

My verse for today: "Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth, burst into jubilant song with music."

My quote for today: "Between stimulus and response is our greatest power--the freedom to choose." --Stephen R Covey

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 503 Roasted Mouse, Anyone?

Hi Journal & Friends,

First, thank you for the nice comments from yesterday's grumpy post. My hand is much better now. No more throbbing...unless I am careless and bump it! Another round of general antibiotics, while waiting for the results of the culture, so we can specifically target these little resistant buggers!!

On with today's thoughts (it doesn't hurt to type now... yippee).

Last April, shortly after losing our 16 year old Dusty, I wrote a post called Things I Learned From a Cat (here).  Dusty was special, and had her own way of communicating with me.

Well, on Christmas day it seems my two current furbabies, Butterfly and Vevie (rhymes with Stevie), had another thing to teach me.

This Christmas day was the first time in many years that Jim actually had off work. And I was so not used to it, it didn't even occur to me to plan a special meal. I just spaced it! 

So there we were, Christmas Eve, and it finally dawned on me that it's not the usual, just me eating left-overs. Jim would be here! 

What to cook?? What's in the fridge? Anything in the freezer I can thaw? Eek! All the grocery stores were closed, and I wasn't sure which might be open on Christmas day.

Oh sure, there was a lot of food in the house. The "usual" stuff. But... it wasn't right. It wasn't special. It just wasn't "Christmas-y". 

Huh??

So it got me thinking... why was I all in a dither over what I was going to fix?? 

Then I looked at Butterfly and Vevie. They were not fussing over their "special" Christmas meal. To them, it was just another day, just another meal. A little kitty chow, and we're good to go. They weren't throwing a hissy fit because they didn't get Roasted Mouse for Christmas.

And I realized that for me it wasn't about the food itself. We decided to try to find a store open and buy ribs to make BBQ spare ribs for our special Christmas day meal. But why?? Cuz I was lusting for BBQ ribs??

And I was kind of happy to realize that no, it really wasn't about the food--for once! It was about tradition.

All growing up, my Mom would cook a special meal for Christmas. Something we didn't have all the time. Well, with 4 kids to feed on a blue collar workers salary, lets face it... ya don't have prime rib every week! And she would make something special to go with it, like yummy side dishes, and Indian Pudding or homebaked pie for dessert.

The point is... it was special. And I realized THAT was what I was longing for. Not the food itself... but the feeling of "special". Of tradition. Of nice memories. Of nostalgia.

So yes, after we played Santa and enjoyed visiting my sister and my nieces, we discovered an open store and found sugar-free punky pie and spare ribs. 

We rented a cool movie from Blockbuster, Inception, and had our traditional "special" meal after all. 

It was nice... a "normal" feeling, that it was not about the food. It was about tradition and memories and all that.

So thank you, Butterfly and Vevie, for reminding me what's really important. 

From Dr Phil's book: "You now have a concrete plan of action in place for living a healthier, richer, and fuller life. When it comes to managing your weight for a lifetime, make use of everything you've been given..."

My verse for today: "Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light."

My quote for today: "If you don't see yourself as a winner, then you cannot perform as a winner." --Zig Ziglar

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 501 Getting Back In Focus

Hi there Journal & Friends,

Been asking myself WHY these last 6 months have been so difficult, progress-wise. What changed??

When I read a post from Diana, at Diana's Weight Loss Journey  I think I found part of the answer.

 Focus. 

Nothing exotic or earth-shattering. Just a simple lack of focus.

FOCUS

hub

topic

heart

accent

priority

nucleus

concentration

subject matter

center of attention

pay particular attention to

the center of interest of activity

the act of concentrating on something

This last summer, I had been blogging for 1 year. I wanted to shift from writing ABOUT life, to living life. I was spending soooo much time blogging, I had no time to DO the stuff I was losing the weight in order to do!

So... brilliant tactician that I am, I decided to blog less and live more. Great plan, right??

Except that I lost some of my focus when I did that. I haven't learned how to keep totally on track, the balance. One main reason, noted in my sidebar, for starting my blog in the first place was to keep me FOCUSED!!

But the blogging is a tool. It can't become a substitute for life! I need to learn to live a focused life, and DO the healthy stuff out of routine. To live my life in a healthy way, and not be distracted. Not use being busy with the LIVING part as an excuse to neglect the HEALTHY stuff.

This in not an either/or deal. I need both. I need the focus, but I need the LIFE!

So... that is what I want to learn. I guess I got ahead of myself, thinking I had this Focus thing down, when I obviously did NOT.

Back to focusing on Focus, and learning that balance!

From Dr Phil's book: "To change your weight, to achieve permanent weight loss, you have to be totally, consciously in charge of yourself and everything you do, think and feel... use that control to create the healthy "you" that you deserve to be and have."

My verse for today: "Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever."

My quote for today: "Do not wait; the time will never be just right." --Napoleon Hill

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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