Sept 23rd... Knocked Down Again, Gettin' Up Again

Yesterday was tough. I felt beat up, beat down, and ready to “accept” that this was the way it was. This was it.

I felt like I was becoming a professional patient, with 2 to 4 medical appointments a week. It drained all my energy just to keep up, with nothing left over for my hopes and dreams. 

I asked someone about it, and they gave me logic. Well, when you get older, this is just the way it is… that kind of thinking. I felt defeated and in tears.

This morning a thought hit me: but what does God say about it??

I thought of verses that say things like “He will renew your youth like the eagle”. And “You will bear fruit even in old age”. But the doubts… oh the doubts. Was this for me? Even me? In spite of all my screw ups?

I opened my email this morning, and saw my Daily Promise, a newsletter I get with a verse for each day of the year. Of all 365 days, guess what I got THIS day??

“I will enrich your life and renew your youth like the eagle’s.”

That’s just too much coincidence for me to ignore!

Then, I happened to stumble on article (some link to another link to another link…) that had me in tears. The good kind. Here is one paragraph:

“Life will never be flawless. It will often slap us with humility and failures.

It’s a series of ups and downs. Getting smacks and punches are inevitable.

However, the desire of getting up should be stronger than those jabs.”

Link to whole article:

https://medium.com/the-mission/9-late-bloomer-success-stories-who-prove-its-never-too-late-to-achieve-your-dreams-b036688da6f

It tells about people who overcame adversity, even older people who achieved their dreams in spite of everything.

And it encouraged me. Greatly. If you need a shot in the arm of Encouragement today, I’d highly recommend carving out about 10 minutes to read and absorb this wonderful article.

"A Hope and a Future"

by Retta Stephenson 

This journey to health is not a straight line graph. Mine, at least, has had lots of ups and down. I'm so ready for some ups!

Continuing the journey,

Retta

May 2nd Determined to Never Quit

Just a quick check in. Still alive an' kicking.  But also frustrated. Haven't figured out a work-around yet to the effects of this medication.

It's a hormone that suppresses tumor growth. But they warn you it... makes you gain weight. Say what?!!

I naively thought "Well, that won't happen to ME". All good intentions aside, it did. So now I'm back UP to where I was a year ago, at 337. 

I've decided not to play victim or make excuses. I'll keep experimenting, and looking for solutions. It will soon be warm enough here in Oregon to get my little outdoor therapy pool up and running. Maybe that will tip the balance in my favor, towards progress! One can hope. :-)

Hangin' in there,

Retta

=^..^=

Time for a Funeral

I did my usual first of the month weigh in thing: lost 7 lbs last month. Not exactly Rabbit speed, but a nice respectable Turtle. That much closer to regained health.

That makes 27 lbs since the beginning of Feb this year. In the past, I would dampen that joy with regrets:

I wish I had done this sooner.
Why did I re-gain?
I've been at the weight before.
Etc etc etc.

No more. I embrace the joy and hope.

Today I attend a funeral. I'm holding a ceremony, and saying goodbye to a presence that has been with me as long as I remember: 

Regrets. 

Today I lay them to rest.

Eulogy for My Lifelong Regrets

Today I say goodbye to My Lifelong Regrets. We’ve been together a long time, but now it’s time I let you go.

You taught me a lot.

You taught me about Humility, because my life didn’t turn out as I thought it would, yet I still have much for which to be thankful.

You taught me about Compassion, because I know how it feels to struggle and fail, repeatedly.

You taught me about Determination, because though I fell - a LOT - somehow by God’s grace, I got up again and kept going.

You taught me about Focus, because though there is pain in life, I can still choose to focus on the beauty, joy and goodness that is there also.

You taught me Gratitude, because though I didn’t get all I wanted, such as children and grandchildren, I got Love. 

But one thing you did not teach me was Brevity. 

No one is perfect. ;-)

Enjoying the journey, and letting go of regrets,

Retta

JULY 1ST Flashbacks & Facebook Attacks

Sitting here shaking my head at myself. Not with disgust, but more with a sort of compassionate amusement. Hope that makes sense. I'm a lot more kinder to myself these days than I used to be. People around me should be glad... cuz I also tend to be kinder towards THEM now, too. :-)

Anyway, it all started with a comment I read yesterday in a Facebook group I belong to (won't say which one). A new guy pulled out his "MD" credentials, and proceeded to say snarky mean stuff about someone I highly respect in the low carb world. 

He made his harsh judgment based SOLELY on a photo of said person. A photo!! He proceeded to defend his expert ability to make such evaluations based upon scant evidence because he was a medical doctor. Say what??!!

I admit it... I fumed. I fussed. I talked to my computer. MyGuy said he was a troll, and don't give him the attention he wanted and he would go away. 

I waited. 

But the next day, the conversation was still on, and I gave in and joined it. Here's what I wrote, minus the names involved:

"Have to admit I was really pissed off at [******'s] arrogant and harsh judgmental comment re [*****]. And THEN to justify it by claiming to be an expert at analysis with little information??? I wanted to box his ears in defense of [*****].

I am sooo tired of that kind of attitude. I started out at a higher weight myself. Years later, and doing LCHF, I've LOST 159 lbs, with more to go. But if someone like [******], who claims to be an MD, looked at my photo, I would still get the same harsh judgement, based soley on looks, as [*****] did!! He would still call me "substantially overweight, poorly muscled... with metabolic dysfunction." Well, DUH??!! 

One who started out very large WILL have more challenges. Come on, applaud [*****] for being physically active, continuing to learn and experiment at what could work for him, and for generously sharing his info with us. [*****] is a class act. [******].... not so much. Ban him? Not my call. I'd say let [*****] decide!"

(A little weird with names blanked out, but that's out of respect for privacy)

I could have said a lot more, but it's Facebook, ya know? Short and sweet. I was still thinking of the whole attack earlier today, as I was thumbing through an old journal I used to keep. And guess what I read, from 1996.

That's 18 years ago.

I had been making a "must do" list that I felt I had to learn to do in order to be successful at this weight loss thing. Further down on the page I wrote:

1) Decide you are willing to do whatever is necessary to change your life, no matter what, no excuses.

 2) Decide how hard you are willing to work, which will determine how long it will take you to reach your goal.

Blush.... did I mention that was 18 years ago?

I'm still here, plugging away. I know I believed that when I wrote it. But I didn't have a clue HOW to do it. How to implement those great ideas. Obviously "just do it" didn't work for me. So, here I am, still learning. Still working on it. 

I don't think I realized how deep I'd have to go, how deep I needed to change. Or maybe how hard it was going to be to change from the INSIDE out. Oh, I'd lost weight before, and regained it back and then some. But I knew I wanted true and permanent change this time.

The above "MD" guy on Facebook who slammed my low carb friend doesn't have a clue how hard it can be for an exceptionally large person. I mean, you don't get REALLY large without having really large inner problems that need addressing. 

WAIT, let me say that differently. Because it's not about the numbers. I've learned that ANYONE who finds it a real struggle to change must have really large inner problems. And that can take time. Sometimes lots of time. 

Falling down on our face and getting up Time.

Getting discouraged and having to gather up our courage to try again Time.

Making mistakes until we find the right way for US Time.

Learning to treat ourselves with respect, love and kindness Time.

Just... lots of Time.

So please, be patient with yourself and never give up.

Is it awful of me to be glad that others in that Facebook group came out swinging in defense of their low carb buddy at the unfair judgment?? (I don't think so... )

Never quit,

Loretta

May 7th Open Letter to All Those Younger Than Me!

I'm writing this to anyone who is younger than I am. 

I am now 63 years old. I have been fighting this weight loss battle ALL. MY. LIFE.

Well, almost. I was put on my first diet at age 10. Given "horse urine" shots from the doctor. Didn't work.

After that it was one attempt after another, off and on, for the rest of my life. 

My weight was up and down, up and down. As a teen and early twenty-something, I "almost" got down to a normal weight, for a nano second.

I won't go into all the stuff I've tried. Literally dozen of types of attempts to lose weight. 

Thousands of dollars. 

Buckets of tears.

My message today isn't what I've tried, or even the fact that they all eventually failed for lots of different reasons.

My message to you "young uns" is simple:  DON'T WAIT.

PLEASE DON'T WAIT.

I can distinctly remember being 30 years old. I was once again whining about wishing I knew how

to play the guitar. Suddenly, I felt slapped up side the head with a vision: I blinked and I was 40, and still didn't know how to play the guitar, and was still whining about it. I felt jarred, the inner vision was so real. So... I went out, bought a guitar and taught myself to play.

Oh how I wish I had been slapped up side the head with the same kind of vision in regards to losing weight!! To pay the piper back then, whatever the cost. 

To do it sooner, rather than later.

If you think this post is all about regrets, then you miss my point, and I haven't made it clear. Oh sure, I have regrets. But that's not my point here.

I am trying to point out to you HOW FAST LIFE FLIES BY. 

And imploring you to get as healthy as you can, as soon as you can.

LIFE IS SHORT.

I really can't believe I am 63. Honestly, inside the REAL ME, I feel about... oh... I'd say about 39.

Sounds weird, I know. But inside I am not 63. Nu-uh, nope.

Inside, my hair is not falling out at an alarming rate by the globfuls.

Inside, my knees don't scream in protest every time I get up from my wheelchair.

Inside, I am strong and full of energy and enthusiasm, regardless of what my body says to the contrary.

This next Saturday I'm going in for a new sleep study to determine how much oxygen they need to add to my CPAP machine. My congestive heart failure is acting up. 

What's that?? No no no, but I'm only 39!? I'm not losing the last of my teeth soon, being fitted with dentures and being put on oxygen!?

I'm not a fat, graying, balding, toothless, crippled old woman who dearly wishes she had done exactly what she is pleading with YOU to do, and lost that weight while younger.

Do it now, my friends. Your older self will thank your younger self!!

Yeah, I know... it's never too late. And I am making progress now.

But trust me, it's better to do it sooner.

This is from my heart, hoping it reaches someone else's heart to spare them from going through what I am...

Loretta

APRIL 5th Oh So Close to the Two'sies!

 "I didn't have any desire to shake things up, or make huge dramatic changes." 

That's from my last post, back in January. All I have to say about that is:

What a winter I've had! Seven different medical conditions, one piled on top of the other... good griefus! I'm better now, and truly thankful. 

But honestly, when in the middle of all that, it's hard not to get discouraged and start feeling sorry for yourself. At least, that's what I struggled with. 

One of the conditions caused me to have severe... ahem ... diarrhea FOR 75 DAYS!! Yes, you read that right. 2 1/2 months. I almost ended up hospitalized. We never did discover what set it off, but they had me trying everything to stop it. 

From the BRAT diet, to heavy duty prescriptions. NOTHING WORKED. I honestly wondered if this was the way I going to go out... cr**ping myself to death. :-O

I finally said phooey to all the doctor's guesses, did some research, and put myself on a special, extremely strict elimination type diet designed by a doctor, for people with intestinal issues.

Tough to follow?? Not if you are desperate enough and facing medical complications. The dehydration and electrolyte imbalance played havoc with my congestive heart failure, and it was dicey for awhile. So yeah... I was willing to get extreme. 

The program is for people who struggle with Crohns, Ulcerative colitis, Diverticulitits, Celiac disease,  and more. I don't have those, but it DID help me stop the cycle, and heal.

I have to admit, though, that I was ticked off for awhile. You see... I was originally ordered to go on the BRAT diet, which is TOTALLY HIGH CARB stuff. Um... I have been extremelly low carb for 5 years!! That was so hard for me to do. And I was even surprised to find that some of the stuff I secretly expected to enjoy (like potatoes, white rice, toast, juice, pudding, etc) didn't even taste good to me anymore. Yet the high starch diet, which turns to sugar in my system, set me up once again for powerful cravings that I'd been free from for 5 years. Soooo frustrating.

Moral of story: I can't ever say I am "cured" of being susceptible to cravings, if I am once again exposed to the sugar and starches. I had to go through actual withdrawal again. And yes, it was very hard. My mind played all kinds of games with me, just like the first time. sigh... And I STILL am struggling a bit with it, even now. Like a lingering scent, catching your attention when you aren't expecting it, and triggering memories and longings. Don't know if that makes sense, but... it's a powerful thing.

Another thing I thought about during all this: that super strict diet was difficult and exacting to follow. To start out you only eat about 4 simple, plain items, plus homemade electrolyte solution. But I was totally willing, because I was desperate and ready to try anything. 

Which made me I think about all the times over the years I had thought "Oh I am so desperate to lose weight", yet I was NOT willing to try something. 

I was willing to try SOME-things, but not ANY-thing. 

Case in point: about 20 years ago when I first heard about the idea of not eating sugar and starches, I was NOT willing. I made all kinds of excuses, and argued that it should be "moderation in all things." Yeah, right. Tell that one to an alcoholic. It might work for some people, but not for me. But I wasn't yet willing to admit that.

It wasn't until I got desperate enough, and nothing that I tried had worked, that I was finally willing to even consider giving up sugar and starches. I spent 3 months reading, studying, learning about it. I had to be convinced it would be healthy, for me. That this was what would be the healthiest way for MY body. I mean, it was the opposite of what had been pounded into my head for decades... so yeah, I was a little skeered. 

I figured I would use my old "all or nothing" tendencies TO my advantage. So once I was fully convinced, I plunged totally in. 

Against my husbands preferences.

Against the preferences of anyone I knew.

Against most of society's preferences.

I was determined, I was committed, I was willing.

It's not been easy. Heck, at times it's been VERY HARD. There have been times I was so discouraged, and wanted to give up.

But I didn't. 

I'm convinced God had mercy on me, and brought this information to help me.

I can't begin to tell you how excited I am to see the 2 hundreds getting close. My highest weight a few years ago was a humiliating 460 lbs.

When I weighed in on April 1st, I was 304 lbs.

That's a total loss of 156 lbs!!! I still find it hard to relate to that... it doesn't seem real. It's still hard to stand, to move, and still a lot of pain. Sometimes I wonder if I am imagining it??

But it's real. 

And on the journey goes. Day after day. Just doing the little daily stuff. Not perfect... not by a long shot. But just continuing on, no matter what.

Enjoy the journey,

Loretta

Updated to add: since some have asked about the diet that helped me recover, I thought I'd put it here.

The book I bought is "Breaking the Vicious Cycle, Intestinal Health Through Diet", by Elaine Gottschall, B.A, M.S. It gives her story (the amazing recovery of her young daughter, who the doctors basically gave up on), the science behind the diet, and recipes. It's on Amazon, and for me, was totally worth the price.

One site that was helpful to me was SCD Lifestyle.
The "official" SCD site Here.
Lots of links for SCD related info, including recipes.
There is also an active Yahoo group called BTVC: the Specific Carbohydrate Diet. I picked up lots of useful tips here.

Hope this helps!

JULY 30th Self-Pity is a Dangerous Thing!

It's a fact of life that some people insist on pointing out the flaws in others. Oh, they think they are helping, and are so sure about their insights. But the vibe can be one of judgement... a critical spirit. 

Then there are those who, while recognizing realities, still choose to UPlift others. To believe the best, to offer encouragement. They don't coddle, they don't enable. But they offer the one who struggles the sense that someone actually believes in them.

That's a powerful thing.

When we find hope and belief slipping through our fingers like sand... to have someone come along side and see potential in us is... well, it reaches down and grabs us, and pulls us back up. We stand again, shake it off, and go on. 

We stop indulging in self-pity, we stop playing the martyr, we stop acting like a victim.

We... as in... ME.

This is on my mind because I WAS indulging in self-pity today. The fires here in Oregon have gone crazy, the air is full of particulates, and breathing outside is hard for me. For a couple of days now I haven't been able to go outside and do my pool exercises. Boo hoo, poor me. :-}

So I was cleaning out old computer files, deleting stuff, and came across something that stopped me in my tracks. And it changed my whole attitude.

It was written for me in 2010 by my sister, Karen. She hadn't started her writer's blog yet , so she had left this in the comments on my blog:

Dear Sister:

I've seen you when you cried,

And when you tried to hide;

You'd always say you failed,

When the desired boat had sailed.

But that was yester-year,

After you shed many a tear;

A swan song now you sing,

Grasping on to everything!

You will not be put down,

Nor will you cast the frown,

You push away the strife,

And plunge straight into life!

For this you will prevail,

Though some might see a snail,

But the tortoise beat the hare-

On the race that was a dare!

Wow.... it felt like it was written for me NOW. Here. Today.

Thanks, Sis. I needed that.

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

JAN 4th Parable of Progress: The Princess & the Sharpie

There was once a Princess who liked to draw and paint. 

As such, she tended to doodle on whatever didn't move. This Princess had a room in her castle: a tiny bathroom, with plain white walls. And she waited and waited for her Prince to paint said walls. 

He was too busy out slaying dragons to do the painting, so one day the Princess decided "That's it!" She took up her Royal Sharpie, and started drawing a Doodle Universe right onto the walls! 

Oh, she had a plan. First, the doodle in black Sharpie. Next, some subtle shading. Then, some sponged on soft color in the background. And finally, a few spots of bold accent color here and there.

The Princess started her daring project in the summertime, in August. But by winter, with Christmas already come and gone, she was only just finishing up the last wall... of the doodled sharpie drawing!! She hadn't even started the shading or color yet. Even taking into account that she couldn't stand very long each time she worked on the drawing, it had still taken so much longer and had been so much harder than she thought it would be. 

At times she got discouraged and wondered why she had even started (whose briliant idea WAS this?!). She even toyed with the idea of compromise... just letting it stay in black and white, and forgetting all the work it would take to add the color.

And naturally, she thought about her journey to health. How it, too, had taken so much longer than she had hoped, and been so much harder than she could have imagined. And how she had gotten discouraged, and toyed with ideas of compromise.

But as she finished up the last doodle element on the last wall... she knew she would finish it, and add the color. The right way. All the way. No matter how long it took, no matter how hard it was.

And she also knew the same would be true for her journey to the best possible health. She would continue, all the way, no matter how long it took, no matter how hard it was.

For photos of all the walls, the process, and the symbolism behind the designs, I invite anyone interested to visit my art blog (Art By Retta)  where I go into that kind of detail. :-)

Enjoy the Journey (no matter how long it takes and no matter how hard it is at times),

Loretta

Day 2031

12/12/12 Bluebirds & The End of the World

Well, it would appear we are still here. It's not the end of the world today, as some interpretations of the ancient Mayan calendar predicted. Whew... that's a relief. ;-)

(Edited to add: it was pointed out to me that most people thinks "it" could happen on Dec 21st... so we still have plenty of time to enjoy the holidays! ha ha ha)

I recently bought myself a little Christmas present (since I assumed Christmas would, indeed, arrive). They are a vintage set of little glass Bluebirds of Happiness.

They are symbolic to me... they remind me of several things. Life is fragile (glass), handle with care.

My favorite color has long been blue. My wedding cake was decorated with blue roses, and my wedding dress had little blue forget-me-nots embroidered on the bodice. I have a small collection of blue glass bottles.

Part of the lyrics to the song "Over the Rainbow" are:

Somewhere over the rainbow

Bluebirds fly.

Birds fly over the rainbow.

Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly

Beyond the rainbow

Why, oh why can't I?

To me, it's about hope. About believing in your dream. About never giving up. These little guys make me smile when I look at them. They remind me that with God, all things are possible. To keep believing, to trust, to never give up.

This has been a tough year for me. Physically, medically, emotionally. I ended up the year heavier than when I started it. I experimented with several different things, and most were... ahem... mistakes. Or maybe I just didn't do them right. And part of the time, I just got plain discouraged and didn't try hard enough. That's just the truth.  

All I know is... to keep going. To keep on keepin' on. 

To learn from my mistakes, and to make changes where necessary. Some of those changes might be hard, but one of the things I've learned is: respect yourself, respect others. And even when you goof up on this journey, learn from it and go on; don't treat yourself with disrespect. And don't let anyone else do it, either. 

Like I said, life is fragile, and so are people. We are all going through "stuff". We might not know what the other guy is going through, but life being what it is... you can bet that sooner or later, we all need that soft place to land, that benefit of the doubt, that bit of kindness.

If anyone is reading this, I wish you the most wonderful Christmas! And if you don't celebrate Christmas, then I bless you with a wonderful winter!

My book quote for today: "The basis for this book is the advice of the apostle Paul as recorded in Philipians 4:8, where he challenges us to seek out and dwell on the positives in our lives. When we look for places where God's character is revealed, we are reminded of his presence in our lives, and we are blessed." --Tommy Newberry, The 4:8 Principle

My verse for today: "Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way."

My quote for today: "Speak only when your words are more beautiful than the silence." Arabic proverb

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

DAY 1208

NOV 6th The Wall & The Pig

Smack!! 

What was that?? Oh... the Wall I ran into. sigh...

I realize that it's not acceptable behavior in "motivational" circles to admit struggle. But unless I face a thing and am honest with myself, how can I deal with it? It feels like I hit a wall recently... got so far, and then splat! Can't seem to regain my footing and continue.

I say "seem" because I know that's not true. It just feels that way. And while my feelings have been bouncing all over the place lately, a part of me is still determined not to be ruled by them. Not to let them dictate my future. They are good for finding clues, but not for making decisions. I suppose it's these kind of times when I see if I truly believe the stuff I spout on this blog, eh??

For several years now I've related to the image of the Flying Pig. I once posted this picture: 

The idea of a flying pig is such an over-the-top figure of speech as to imply the impossible. But to me, it speaks of POSSIBILITIES.  Of overcoming the impossible. Of a hope so powerful that is acts like fuel for my determination. I LOVE the idea of the little pig defying all odds, and FLYING! He's sort of been my little mascot, sitting above my computer.

I see him every time I come to the computer. And I remember that all things are possible with God. So I refuse to let the discouraging thoughts put down roots into my mind.  I just can't dwell on them, and let them grow; it's too dangerous. 

All I can do is to DO what I know to do, and trust that eventually I will be back on track and see progress. I WILL fly. I refuse to let go of hope, to let go of my dreams and give up.

Sometimes we get so close to that edge. You know that edge... the drop off of despair... the cliff of total discouragement... the gulf of giving up. I don't know about you, but it's scary to me. While it's tempting to just give in and take the easy way out, full of excuses and self-pity, it's also terrifying how easy it is to slide back and go the wrong way!

So no... I refuse to go there. I don't care what anybody says... even my own mind. I WILL fly. I get to choose, and that's my choice. I wish I could say, like some do, that "it is easy". Well, right now it AIN'T easy for me. 

I admit that sometimes I whine "it's not fair". But remember what they say? The fair only comes once a year, and usually out in the country. (Ha ha on me; I just read that this morning, and said "ouch!")

Some days we just have to choose to keep going in spite of "life". And eventually, it gets better. I really believe that. No, I don't "feel" that right now... but I do believe it.

My book quote for today: "Unfortunately, most people struggle to change or renew their circumstances (lose weight, fix their marriage, make more money), when they should be asking God to help them renew their minds." --Tommy Newberry, The 4:8 Principle

My verse for today: "Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!"

My quote for today: "There is no use trying," said Alice; one can't believe impossible things."  "I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." --Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Gazelle photo courtesy of Stig Nygaard

Wings & Poster courtesy of Moi

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

DAY 1171

SEPT 14th Coming Full Circle

I recently spent a little time reading some of my own back posts.  It hit me two ways: both ENcouraging and DIScouraging. I get to choose which one to embrace!

See, I thought by now I would surely be at my goal. So when I read some of those older, positive, confident and upbeat posts, sometimes I cringe a little bit. Okay, a lot! I battle  thoughts that say:

 

See? You are all mouth, no action.

See? You thought you had some answers, and really don't. They are only pieces to the puzzle.

See? You are kidding yourself. It's too late, you'll never get there.

See? You are losing ground physically. The clock is ticking, and before you fix one problem, you get a new one.

So, I answer each of those attacks. Some days that's easier than others, to be honest.

Here is one example,  from my post about a year ago.  

It was about a meltdown I had, and how it was resolved thanks to some kind words from MyGuy. And the quote I used at the end once again hit me hard:

 "Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure, and separates the victim from reality.." --John W Gardner

Ouch! A whole year has passed, yet I feel no farther down the road than that post!

Photo by Jenny Kaczorowski

On to this one,  written around the same time. 

I talked about treating myself with respect; attitude; not settling; I am worth it... 

The post was hard enough to read, but then blamo! I get smacked with my own quote yet again! This one from Muhammed Ali, who knows a little something about struggle, overcoming, and victory:

"Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them--a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill." 

And there it is. In that last sentence. "The will must be stronger than the skill." 

And I come full circle back to my source of strength, to DO that will. To make those good choices. To choose to be encouraged, uplifted and keep going, no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT.

And here it is, the last quote from that page that reminded me of HOW to do the DOING part:

"I lift up my eyes to the hill-- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."

Photo by Melissa Bowersock

Today, I am encouraged. 

Today, I embrace gratitude.

Today, I decided not to bash myself for not being at my goal yet.

Today, I choose to embrace hope and determination.

And who knows... by the end of the day, I might even FEEL it! 

:-}

Enjoy the journey (it's better than the alternative!)

Loretta

Day 1118 

AUG 27th Quotes & Chris Has Struck Again!

I love quotes. I can't remember a time when I did NOT enjoy them. They are like distilled wisdom. So naturally I have little scraps of paper around my studio with some of my favorites scrawled on them. Some are so old, they are faded and hard to read. (click on any pics to enlarge)

One favorite place I stick them on is a kitchen tool caddy that I use in my studio for my colored pencil collection, plus other assorted junk.

You know how when you have something up so long, that you eventually don't even "see" it?? Well, yesterday morning I glanced at my tool twirlie, and two words caught my eye: the amateur

The paper this quote was on had faded so badly--it's probably been taped up there 15 years!--that I had inked over those two words to see them better. I had to get up close to read the REST of that quote:

"The artistic temperament

is the indulgence

of the amateur."

--G K Chesterton

Huh! It struck me that the truth of that quote is not only for the "artist". But for all endeavors. Like... oh let me think...hmmm... weight loss endeavors!! 

No, not a deep or new thought. But it just struck me yesterday, and reminded me that it doesn't matter in the slightest how I FEEL. Strong, determined, optimistic, spiritual, hopeful... or discouraged, weak, frustrated, annoyed or skeered. 

Doesn't matter. 

Doesn't matter in the sense that I don't have to be sitting around waiting for the right feeling to come along, for me to be working on making the right choices in the meantime. If I want to be successful at this thing, then even while I'm still trying to get my ducks all in a row, I can't indulge in the "temperament of the amateur".

Even while I iron out the wrinkles, I need to be working on making healthy choices. Chris at A Deliberate Life  recently had a post that really affected me. So much so, that I didn't leave a comment for days!! Some things you just have to chew longer before you can swallow them, ya know?!  :-}  

Does she have all the answers? All her bugs worked out perfectly?? I doubt it. But Chris decided she wasn't satisfied with "mediocrity" any longer. She is ready to make a hard push. She said she will work out the rest of the details later. She said that for NOW, "I am capable of more."

Sometimes we need a kick in the tush to shake up our point of view! I had always said that whatever I do, it has to be for life. I've gone on and off hundreds of "diets" over the years, and I was done with that. Well... Chris offered a different point of view about that. And it made me at least stop and think, and consider that sometimes it's okay to shake things up! 

I mean... if a guy was out in the ocean drowning, you wouldn't sit in your little boat and lecture him on how to swim, because after all, it's a skill he'd need for life. You throw him a life ring! And worry about swimming lessons later. Right or wrong in my interpretation, that's how what Chris wrote struck me.

So! Hard as it is to stick my neck out there and once again declare a "goal"... I am joining Chris in her determination at making a HARD PUSH. It's time. I need it. I don't plan to stop my other lines of focus, since the REAL change is on the inside. But I'm drowning here!! I need to swim NOW!!

It's Hard Push time. It's hit me hard that as of today, it's been 1100 days since I started this blog. And I'm still not to my goal. I can let that kick me DOWN, or I can choose to let it kick me UP.  I'm choosing UP.

Want a kick in your tush?? Go read Chris' post. Pretty good stuff. :-)

My book quote for today: "With  high levels of mental discipline, you'll reach your goals faster, upgrade your potential for joy, and become a lot more fun to be around. When you keep your thoughts fixed on God, the things of God will naturally permeate your life, and thus your goals will be in line with his will..." --Tommy Newberry, The 4:8 Principle

My verse for today: "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

My quote for today: "Becoming realistic is the most common path to mediocrity." --Will Smith

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

Day 1100