Howdy Journal & Friends,
My kitchen is a construction zone... everything moved out to tear up the floor, fix it, and install new linoleum. Ack! Getting the most important nutrient of the day-- my coffee-- was a major undertaking!!
This will probably go on for 3 or 4 days... I'm trying very hard to roll with the punches. Pre-cooked some stuff, boiled up some hard-boiled eggs, etc etc.
The hardest part, honestly, is my attitude.
The floor was wrecked because I can't stand more than 30 seconds or so at a time, and I've been using a rolling stool when I work in the kitchen. And the cheap linoleum on the floor couldn't take it, so the wheels chewed holes in it over time. I've been battling the self-talk about that... the old "this all happened cuz you're fat" tapes. Why do so many things always go back to THAT root cause?! Well, maybe because it's true... there are consequences to our choices.
I've acknowledged that... there ARE consequences to our choices. I own that. But am trying to answer those old arguments with new truths: Yes, I made poor choices in the past. But now I am learning a new way. I am actively changing and making better choices. I am learning. I make mistakes still, but I am making progress. I refuse to hang my head in shame and beat myself up.
A swatch of my new kitchen floor, from the roll...
As part of my effort to treat myself with respect instead of wallowing in self-blame, I went with MyGuy and picked out the new linoleum... a pretty marbelized pattern of subtle creams and pale blues, that goes nicely with my kitchen color scheme.
And... I've decided not to settle... I am going to finish the kitchen in the next few months, and paint the walls a soft cream with tan trimming, and use my cobalt blues as the color notes in the kitchen towels and accessories. And after Jim retires in a few months, he said he'll put in a real tile backsplash over the sink, picking up the cobalt blues. Finally... my dream kitchen. I am worth it. :-)
From Dr Phil's book: "What you really want is to feel better about yourself..."
My verse for today: "I lift up my eyes to the hill-- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."
My quote for today: "Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them--a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill." --Muhammad Ali
Enjoy the Journey,