Saturday, June 25, 2011

JUNE 25th Under Construction

Howdy Journal & Friends,

My kitchen is a construction zone... everything moved out to tear up the floor, fix it, and install new linoleum. Ack! Getting the most important nutrient of the day-- my coffee-- was a major undertaking!!

This will probably go on for 3 or 4 days... I'm trying very hard to roll with the punches. Pre-cooked some stuff, boiled up some hard-boiled eggs, etc etc. 

The hardest part, honestly, is my attitude.

The floor was wrecked because I can't stand more than 30 seconds or so at a time, and I've been using a rolling stool when I work in the kitchen. And the cheap linoleum on the floor couldn't take it, so the wheels chewed holes in it over time. I've been battling the self-talk about that... the old "this all happened cuz you're fat" tapes. Why do so many things always go back to THAT root cause?! Well, maybe because it's true... there are consequences to our choices.

I've acknowledged that... there ARE consequences to our choices. I own that. But am trying to answer those old arguments with new truths: Yes, I made poor choices in the past. But now I am learning a new way. I am actively changing and making better choices. I am learning. I make mistakes still, but I am making progress. I refuse to hang my head in shame and beat myself up. 

A swatch of my new kitchen floor, from the roll...

As part of my effort to treat myself with respect instead of wallowing in self-blame, I went with MyGuy and picked out the new linoleum... a pretty marbelized pattern of subtle creams and pale blues, that goes nicely with my kitchen color scheme. 

And... I've decided not to settle... I am going to finish the kitchen in the next few months, and paint the walls a soft cream with tan trimming, and use my cobalt blues as the color notes in the kitchen towels and accessories. And after Jim retires in a few months, he said he'll put in a real tile backsplash over the sink, picking up the cobalt blues. Finally... my dream kitchen. I am worth it. :-)

From Dr Phil's book: "What you really want is to feel better about yourself..."

My verse for today: "I lift up my eyes to the hill-- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."

My quote for today: "Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them--a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill." --Muhammad Ali

Enjoy the Journey,


DAY 680


Anne H said...

You ARE worth it - and don't let any one ever ever ever tell you anything else!

oh_mg said...

Love that Muhammad Ali quote ♥ Good things or bad things, it's still great to recognize that there are things happening now as a result of past choices - because that means that what happens in the future is a result of what we decide to do right now! Cheering for you, Loretta, as always. :)

PeacefulBird said...

You are INDEED worth it!!!! YES!

Love your new flooring and love that you are taking a second, revisionary, look at the old tapes (the critical, blaming, demoralizing tapes), replacing them with the truth about your journey to better health. Bravo!

Anonymous said...

You are most definitely worth it!

Glad you are able to flip the script and not dwell on the negative tapes!

Flooring looks gorgeous. Can't wait to see pics!

Have a great Sunday!!!

pinkvision said...

Your kitchen will soon be as beautiful as you are Loretta. You're always worth it.

Niecy said...

I agree that you are totally worth it. I know this is not original, but, "We didn't get this way in a few weeks. Changing ourselves will take time too." Keep your chin up. You are doing great and shout those negative thoughts out as they arise!

Christina said...
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Christina said...
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Christina said...
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Christina said...

You are TOTALLY WORTH IT! The kitchen floor looks beautiful! I am so excited for you. :) Great attitude, Retta.

Coffee is my lifeblood, too. Mmmm!

Christina said...

Wow, sorry, I was having trouble posting, and then my comment posted four times. :)

carla said...

you are so so so SO VERY WORTH IT!!

Anne H said...

I think about you every time I open my mail these days. I am SOOOOOOOOOO glad we alll decided to keep on with the blogging. Look who's happy now! (WE ARE!)
So now it's back to Business As Usual!

M Pax said...

You know I believe you're worth it. Glad you're seeing it. Love the pattern and the colors.

Blues and greens and browns and grays are my favorite colors.

We learn. Soemtimes it takes us awhile to 'really' learn something. Understanding doesn't always translate to doing right away. So, I've noticed. :)

Princess Dieter said...

So worth it, babe. So worth it.

And don't think of it as "The floor can't handle my fat." It's just the wrong floor for YOUR NEEDS. Maybe you need tile one day. Something TOUGHER.

I figure a house should meet the needs of its occupants, not the occupants fit the house. We're the center. :) Just like my shoes should support my feet, not me try to make the shoes happy despite my fallen arches, etc. It's all about what WE NEED..not what inanimate objects need. Be it bigger chairs, stronger floors, higher counters, lower this, wider that.

Keep on it. You'll be slim one day and won't care what the floor is...

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

Enjoy your beautiful new surroundings. Yes, you do deserve it!
It's fun to have more to look forward to, also!

Bringing Pretty Back said...

YES! YOU are worth it!!!!!!!!!!! Look at this as a NEW BEGINNING! Look at it as getting rid of the old floor- old kitchen- old you.
You will have a brand new kitchen to go with the brand new you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have a PRETTY day!

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