Tuesday, June 14, 2011

JUNE 14th Strawberries, Sharks & Tears of Joy

Hello Journal & Friends,

For some of you, being told you needed a Size 3X dress would bring on tears of horror!! 

But for me... I had tears of joy. Yesterday was Jim's day off, and we went shopping and goofing off together. I got all dressed up and tried on a new lavendar dress, to see if it fit yet. YES!! It was a 3X. 

I've been buying clothing occasionally on clearance, but always in sizes too small for me yet. And I got this one a couple of months ago. It's been 26 YEARS since I've been able to wear a 3X!! When I was 460 pounds, I could barely squeeze into the largest 6X's that the Lane Bryant catalog sold. So... this is extremely encouraging to me.

While we were at WalMart, I spurged on some silly party plates to eat my lunches on.

For lunch today Tinkerbell and I had a small piece of the sugar free pie we also bought there.

And we couldn't forget Joey! Here is her new squeaky toy, which she loves:

We also picked strawberries yesterday...our barrel planter is overflowing with ripe strawberries, finally. Yay!

You know how you work hard, and wait, and expect results from your efforts...yet sometimes those results are not always exactly what you expected?? Hmmmm...

It's been a whole month since I started my Secret September Challenge. Wow... and we have both benefited so much! We've hit and overcome that "wall", where the honeymoon phase is over and the routine sets in. 

We've discovered some weaknesses we each need to work on, and I've had some new realizations that I think are going to help me go forward and make progress.

One of them is that my perceptions are skewed. REALLY SKEWED. Remember, I started up there pretty high, at 460 pounds. And when you are that overweight so long, I think it messes with your head... at least it did for me. 

What *I* think is normal, is not. 
What *I* perceive as bigger or smaller, is not.
What *I* feel is more or is less, is not the same as other people.

A perfect example: my new lavendar dress. I am sooo excited to be "down" to a 3X. Yet most of you would be aghast if you found yourself in a 3X. It's all in the perceptions. 

And... I think that's been working against me. 

Both my Secret Challenge partner and I have been having trouble ratcheting down the calories. And I finally realized just recently it's because, TO ME, the 1600 I was aiming for SEEMED VERY SMALL. But that was because I was--without realizing it--comparing it to what I USED to eat.

What I USED to eat was abnormal, not normal. Okay... intellectually, that's obvious. But I'm talking here about feelings... senses... perceptions... emotional reactions, whatever you call it.

I was using an ABNORMAL YARDSTICK as my comparison. I need to change my perceptions. To compare to a healthy, normal, moderate amount. 

I have the same trouble with portion sizes. A "normal" portion seems mighty tiny when I am hungry!! Yet invariably afterwards I am satisfied. But beforehand, it didn't "look" like very much. Again, I was comparing to the amounts I USED to eat. Skewed perceptions.

I know this will take time... to get so used to a new thing that it becomes my New Normal. But that's what I'm working on. Visualizing, accepting, enjoying, embracing and celebrating a Healthy New Normal. 

From Dr Phil's book: "Having specific, carefully mapped out, vividly envisioned goals is an absolute requirement for success."

My verse for today: "...put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love."

My quote for today: "If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or Fight Like Hell." --Lance Armstrong

Enjoy the Journey,


DAY 669


Anonymous said...

Congratulations! Down THREE sizes is awesome! :D

And, Loretta, you just look beautiful. Like I tole you before, I want some of that youth secret you've found.

Love that puppy!


Bluezy said...

Yes, to go down 3 dress sizes is a celebrating event. And I again agree with Deb above that you do look beautiful!

I love all what is going on behind you in your kitchen area. It looks really country cozy.

PeacefulBird said...

Although my top weight was slightly under 250, I totally get what you're saying about skewed perceptions of "normal" and the need to alter our perceptions as we alter our bodies. I believe you've come to a very important crossroads in your journey, one where you take a new path of perceptions! Yay!

x said...

you rock and lavender is your color lady!!!! so this summer... you and me maybe lake swim??? I will bring aqua exercise toys if the water ever heats up...august maybe doreena??? sound possible?

Retta said...

DEB: Aww, thanks. Must be the puppy. Keeps me laughing and exercises those facial muscles. ;-) Well, that and coconut oil for the face, ha ha ha.

MS SCOOTER BUTT: First, your user name cracked me up. :-D Welcome, and thank you for the nice comment. And my computer is actually in the corner of my art studio, so over my shoulder on one side you see my window and back yard, and the other side are the desks with my art supplies and all the accumulated junk. And the sliding glass door is out onto the enclosed patio, where the kitties can play, and use the cat box. But Joey can't play out there...she thinks the "stuff" in the kitty litter is "Doggie Delicacies" and will eat it!!! :-O

ROBIN: I feel that way, too. Like I've stumbled upon a way I was thinking, only didn't realize it. And now some light has been shown on it... I am encouraged!

STACIA: I'll take you up on that NEXT summer. I'm afraid I didn't make the progress I had hoped, yet, this year. Yet! I'm feeling renewed, and ready to get going again. Gee, maybe part of that is finally getting more sleep. ;-)

E. Jane said...

Congrats on the "downsize." Also, I must tell you how wonderful you look in your photos! Joey is very cute too. Take care...

Becky Baker Horn said...

Loved the pictures of your new dress! Congratulations!

I also enjoyed your musings on skewed perceptions. I am battling that same problem with calories and portion sizes seeming SO tiny.
I liked your idea of having some silly, fun, SMALLER plates to eat off of!

financecupcake said...

Congrats on fitting into the dress!!! I always love seeing pictures of you, Loretta! You are such a beautiful ray of sunshine. LOVE the plates! Every so often I get Ramsey some special plates. Do you shop at Target? I've been finding some really great, cheap plastic plates and bowls in the bargain section right inside. It sounds like this challenge is a great thing for you. Keep it up, woman!

financecupcake said...

P.S. - The pup is looking too sweet. :)

Cindy said...

You look amazing, I love the color and I love all the progress you are making. so excited for where you are now. who hooo. hugs. love little Joey. have a great week.

dailyseeking said...

You look beautiful! Congrats!

dailyseeking said...

You look beautiful! Congrats!

Anonymous said...

Oh! I forgot about the visual of the mishapen strawberries. It just crossed my mind.

Loved that! Wonderful analogy.


~Oct said...

Just a quick note to let you know how beautiful I think you are. I loved this post and I love the lovely look of accomplishment on your face. Congratulations.

Anne H said...

What a cool story - and neat berries! All good on ya!

Anonymous said...

(new reader, first time commentor)

Nicely done! Dropping dress sizes is a huge accomplishment. Plus, it means new clothes! :-D

Those strawberries look delicious, by the way! I wish I lived in a climate where they would flourish. . . and that I had a green enough thumb to grow them.

Sheilagh said...

You look absolutely Gorgeous my friend:)

Anonymous said...

You are absolutely glowing Loretta! Love the new dress and so thrilling that it is 3X. I recently had the same thing happen...I had to buy some work clothes last November and they were 5X...bought some new shirts and a dress a month or so ago and size 3X too!

The plates are so cute, the berries look great...how do you get them to grow like teeth??? :-)

Joey is so cute too!

Glad you are learning more and more about yourself and recognizing that some thoughts need to be altered.

You rock Loretta!!! Hugs!

M Pax said...

Congrats!! I'm so thrilled to read of your successes. The color you're wearing in the photos is beautiful on you.

Something I did -- to trick myself -- was to use smaller plates, etc ... so I'd think the portion looked 'normal'. I don't need to do that any more, but it was useful when 'retraining' myself.

You're always so inspiring, Loretta.

Joy said...

Loretta, You are beautiful!! Keep up the great work!

Stay focused!

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

Loretta- I am purposely not looking at other people's comments before I write this.
This post is exactly why I continue to read you and why it is so important that you continue to share whenever you can.
You are really making some important connections. I can feel that you are about to burst forth with some amazing progress. I have been around as a reader since about the time you first starting helping out as a greeter at church and boy have you changed since then!

debby said...

Loretta, you are one of my heros. You look beautiful, and yes, fitting into a 3x is a big deal. Plus, now you can go to the store and try on clothes, and not have to shop from a catalog. Heck, you can even find 3x pretty easy in the thrift store. Enjoy it!

I noticed the conversation bet/you and Stacia about swimming. You can get swim pants if you want. It felt so wonderful to get in a pool after over 20 years of not swimming!

karen@fitnessjourney said...

Congrats Loretta. You look beautiful, happiness makes you radiant. Your smile is the perfect accessory with your dress.

Retta said...

MEVROUWHONING: Welcome, and thanks for the nice comment. I live in Southern Oregon, and this has been the wettest spring in the last 100 years here! So it's been amazing we got any strawberries at all. But we are growing them in planters my hubby made from wine barrels. Works great.

KIMBERLEY: Ahhh. you know exactly how I feel about the 3X. :-)
It's weird... just when I think I have reached the bottom of the Squirrely Thinking Barrel, then I discover another layer.

MARY: It's funny... I've been using smaller bowls and plates all along... and it usually helps. But I realized recently that I get "jealous" when Jim's plate is piled higher than mine. More attitudes to work on. :-)

JASMINE: I do that too! Sometimes I will make my comment before I read the others... then again, I've had that backfire on me, and realized I missed something altogether the others caught, LOL! Oh well, it's all a part of the fun of blogging, yes?

DEBBY: Aww, what a sweet thing to say. And ya know what? It never occurred to me that I could find clothes in my size now at the store... it's been so long, I haven't even tried!
About the swimming... it wasn't about the swimsuit, it was the lack of mobility yet. But by next summer, I am determined to be stronger and able to walk more! We'll have to plan a lake party here in Oregon for next summer for anyone close enough to come!

KAREN: Oooh... I like that word: radiant. Thank you!!

bbubblyb said...

You look lovely Loretta! Loved the funky strawberries too and sweet Joey. As for skewed preception yep I think most of us have it at times.

Shelli Belly said...

Hey Loretta
It's been a long while. You look great. New normals are difficult to get use to. Acknowledging those new normals are half the battle.

Princess Dieter aka Mir said...

I TOTALLY get that. All of that. I remember when I was so happy that 4x was BAGGY and 3x fit. And then 2x. And now some XLs. I'm in heaven. I think I'll faint when I fit in just Larges. Honestly, just flat out pass out. :)

The portion thing..well, you are not alone. All of us who got big, really big..obese and morbidly obese big, we have portion distortion and caloric blindness. I did actually log what I ate even when I pigged out, and some days were 4500 calories, some 3500. When I TRIED HARD not to overeat, I'd make maybe 2500-2700. It took me years of crazy effort to be able to finally consistently eat below 2000. It was a huge milestone for me. Then 1800. Then 1700. Then 1600. Now, 1200 is not EASY, but doable. Not climbing Everest. I remember when 2000 calories was climbing Everest. You adapt. Really. You do.

To maintain a normal weight, I'll probably have to eat 1400 to 1500 calories for life. Well, and less as I age. It's daunting to think the big splurges and binges are over, have to be over. But that's one of the hard realities we "damaged" body folks have to face. Our binge mentality has to die. We have to laern to enjoy fresh, real food in sane portions. And that is a huge alteration. It's traumatic at first.

But we adapt. Humans have that ability.

You and your secret partner can totally adapt to the new reality without portion or caloric free-for-all distortion.

You can win. You will win.

God bless...

Princess Dieter aka Mir said...

Well, shoot, I forgot to say:

And, do buy more lavenders and purples. I really like them on you.

And I LOOOOVE purples. :D Period.

Retta said...

PRINCESS DIETER: "Portion distortion"... ha ha ha, I like that description.

I remember when I first stopped eating sugar and flour, and started "ratcheting down" my calories. Just to get out of the 2 thousand range, I started at 1999, and I remember thinking it added up SO FAST, yet seemed like so little. :-} It took me sooo long to to even start lowering it.

I'm glad to see someone ahead of me on this, and that you "adapted". So... that is what I will aim for... to adapt. I like that. :-)

PJ Geek said...

This was a great post. I've had some of the same discoveries and thoughts about what is 'normal' and how skewed my thinking is. Also, I missed the boat on realizing I could wear smaller sizes because I didn't try enough smaller sizes at enough different stores. ...strawberries with feet?

Christine said...

Loretta, That is fantastic! congratulations! I love your strawberries...getting used to a new normal...that is about it, isn't it! Doing great.

Niecy said...

Beautiful and insightful post. I love the strawberry analogy also. And may I say that you are a beautiful woman? I can't believe you are 60. You look younger.

Congratulations on all your successes thus far.

pinkvision said...

Lovely fabulous pictures, you look great, Loretta! Lovely colour and so good to fit into a size again isn't it! And those strawbs look delicious and really funny. Something definitely to be said for standing out in a crowd ;)

Thanks for the insight into learning about adjusting one's perceptions. I know this year I'm definitely learning about real life portions! Have fun with the rest of of your journey!

Rudy said...

Originally came here looking for a lead on a rubber shark for my laser-shark (which i still haven't found :/) but I'm also trying to lose weight as well, so I figured I'd drop by again for a bit of inspiration :)


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