SEPT 1st Living Life NOW & A Knowing

Hi Journal & Friends,


Is it the first of September already?! August went by so fast... weigh in time: 335. That's up 2 pounds from last month. And... I am feeling happy, strong and encouraged.

Say what?? Loretta, are you delusional... in denial... not facing reality... playing ostrich... not being honest??? 

No...(well, at least I don't THINK so, LOL), it's just that during my Blogcation, I did a lot of thinking and evaluating. And decided to get back to my roots. To what worked before I started trying to copy others that I was reading, following, admiring... and forgot that what THEY were doing was great for THEM. But not necessarily for ME. 

I'm glad we can learn from each other... but I need to remember this is MY journey, and not get side-tracked. Not feel like I am wrong if what I'm doing is different. And not worry about fitting in, or being accepted or even understood. And not to compare me with them... to do what works for me. 

And what is that??? 

Keep my eyes on the prize... don't get stuck looking backward, repeatedly chasing my tail.

Remember WHY I am doing this... my reasons for being, for wanting health, my purpose and passions.

All this stuff I'm talking about is for ME only... it's where *I* am on this journey. I was put on my first diet at about 10 years old!!! Meaning... I've been at this for a loooonnngggg time. I've spent years digging down, uncovering issues and putting them to rest. Coming to terms with being like an "addict" with food. Accepting that I am responsible for where I'm at here, now. And also learning that's GOOD news, because it means I can change it by changing my choices.

And... coming to peace with my imperfections, and the fact that I often fall flat on my face, in spite of my best efforts, in spite of "saying" all the right things.

But... I have learned, absolutely, totally, 100%, that the secret to making it is to Never Quit. To stop looking back all the time over my shoulder, wallowing in my temporary defeats, but to go forward. Learn from it, yes. But to go forward. I'm not talking about never quitting blogging... I'm talking never quitting going towards my goals. I'm talking about doing it... the actions, not just the talking about the actions.

You know the old saying about being careful to not believe our own hype?? Well, last night as I drifted off to sleep thinking of all this... the thought struck me that it's also dangerous to believe my own "labels"... my own moanings, groanings, fallings and stumblings, struggles. 

What I mean by that is... just because I lose one little skirmish along the way, it doesn't mean I've lost the war. For ME (not saying this is for anyone else still working all this out in their head) I am no longer accepting the label of addict, or compulsive overeater, or any other label du jour. I don't mind "recovering" whatever. But labels are powerful. And I am no longer claiming one... 

Except that of overcomer! 

Other words/labels that I'm willing to claim are all going to be healthy and positive... and if that galls you, and you think that's not "honest" or true, or it's Pollyanna thinking, then you don't understand me. Or you skimmed this in a hurry, and missed the part where I emphasized that this is for ME, where I am at personally.

I am not ignoring reality at all... I choose to learn from it and go ON. I am simply claiming I have a choice as to what direction I want to go in! I am choosing who I want to be! 

I simply do not accept it is impossible to change. I believe God when He said "with God all things are possible." He's my Source, my Rock and my reason as to why I can Know and Trust these things.

My point is I can CHOOSE my focus...

Backward or forward.

Discouraged or try again.

Depressed or hopeful.

Fearful or willing to take heart.

Focusing on my weaknesses, or remembering my strengths! 

And... I do have a few strengths. We all do, even when we don't feel them.

I've been up and down these last few weeks, finding my footing again. At the first part of the month, I ate enough calories to send me up the scale about 6 pounds... and now I'm on my way back down. I'm not doing "perfect"... never will. But I am being more consistent, and finally hitting my stride. Feeling more peaceful and hopeful. And knowing...

Knowing. 

Knowing I am on the right track.

Knowing I will get there... not sure when, but I will.

Knowing it's alright to "have a life" and not be consumed with weight loss.

To LIVE my life now, instead of wishing and hoping for it someday. Yeah... I haven't blogged as much lately. And it kind of annoyed me when one commentor (forget where I read this) assumed it was a negative when people blogged less or took a blog vacation, as if actually LIVING a life instead of writing about a life was wrong. Well, DUH! Isn't that what we all want?? To get healthy so we can live our lives to the fullest???? 

The answer for me is Yes. That is why I'm here in the first place. Why I started recording my journey here in the beginning. And I'm going back to that... to the Forward Focus even as I live NOW. And I'm feeling good about it. :-)

Here is an excerpt from something written by Ralph Marston, which means a lot to me:

Whatever happened on the previous attempt doesn't matter 

anymore. 

What matters is what you do now.

Though you may have failed once, or numerous times, or a 

thousand times, 

that has no bearing on what you're able to 

do now. 

In fact, each failed attempt brings you closer to 

success.

By discovering what does not work, 

you have more information 

to help you know what does work....

Effort is never wasted...

Now is the time to make use of all that strength and 

experience. 

Now is the time to push forward...

I have Mr Marston's Mini Daily Motivator in my sidebar, if you are interested in more.

I am thankful for a lot of sources of inspiration that helped to solidy these ideas in my head... one of them is a terrific post by Coach Dayne at Coach Your Mind.  A real eye-opener, it was. :-) 

Edited to add: Deb left a wonderfully helpful comment, so let me just say this:  the kinds of labels I'm referring to have to do with the mental aspects of this journey... not medical things we deal with. Hope that helps clarify. :-)

From Dr Phil's book: "What is true about you in your mind, you will live."

My verse for today: "Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord."

My quote for today: "If you look at the world, you'll be distressed. If you look within, you'll be depressed. If you look at God, you'll be at rest." --Corrie Ten Boom, survivor of Ravensbrook Concentration Camp during WWII, author of The Hiding Place

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

DAY 746

PS: Not trying to hide my weight ticker, I just can't seem to get it to work... will have to make a new one soon.


PPS: Sorry if this is all hard to read, with weird spacing and all... Blogger is acting all stupid today, and it took me several tries just to get this to post at all. :-O

DAY 286 Spring Challenge Week 9 Update

Hello Journal & Friends,

Once again, time for our Challenge Update!

First, a reminder of our overall goal for the Challenge:

"The goal of this challenge is to teach yourself to look at your new behaviors positively, to learn to be nicer to yourself and believe in yourself, to learn to enjoy healthy behaviors and learn some moderation. A little balance. It's important. More important to learn than the extremes - too much and deprivation."

And now for my own weekly check-in...

My Spring Challenge goals:

1. Every day for the next 13 weeks, do some kind of Exercise.

2. Every day for the next 13 weeks, drink a Greenie.

3. Check in every Saturday.

4. Tell one thing each week that I like about myself.

5. Save up to buy myself a fun Reward at the end.

My Exercise: 

Improving, but still not up to snuff yet! I'm letting poor time management flub up my schedule, and let MyGuy being home all week become an excuse to miss some of it. I still did something each day, but not near what I was doing before. This will be fixed starting TODAY. Period... no more excuses.

My Greenies: 

I made 5 out of 7 this week. Better, but again, I need to get back to my plan, which was DAILY. Again, starting TODAY, back on plan.

One thing I like about myself: 

Wow, I'm running out of things! Okay, here is one:

I like that years ago I learned about the power of appreciation, thankfulness, and gratitude.  As long as I choose to find things for which to feel genuinely thankful, it helps to lift my attitude, and things look brighter. 

Focusing in on the good instead of the bad helps to keep my attitude buoyed up, floating above self-pity and whining.  Occasionally I forget this, and get my focus on the wrong things, and then I struggle. But I want to remember that it's better to focus on what I CAN do, not on what I can't. 

Sometimes people who have a positive oriented blog are criticized for being "phoney". I have been... but it's because they don't understand my mindset. I write the kind of blog that I, myself, need to read. Uplifting, encouraging and positive, as much as is possible. I NEED to learn to see possibilities and count my blessings, not wallow in the negatives.

What we focus on GROWS. We ALL have negatives in our lives. We all have a story. But we ALL have possibilities and potential, too. So I choose to focus on the possibilities, even while dealing with the hard stuff that comes up. I just don't want to wallow in it.. to STAY there, in the negatives. Deal with it and move on! 

Life is too short to waste it choosing to be miserable and whine and complain. Do we all have things we could complain about?? Of course. More at times than others. Sometimes life can hit us hard... but it's still a choice if we STAY down in the mud. I choose to look up, to the stars.

One of my favorite little poems is by Frederick Langdridge:

"Two men looked out from prison bars,

one saw the mud,

the other saw the stars."

"Cosmic Rosebud"

For my Reward: 

Still squirrelling away money in my glass bear jar. Still haven't totally decided on my reward.

I'm sure glad our challenge motto is:  Progress, not perfection.

I hope all you Weight Loss Warriors had a good week. Mine could've been better... this next week IS going to be better.

From Dr Phil's book: "By changing the way you think, you can change the way you feel and act."

My verse for today: "I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples."

My quote for today: "When you are weary, be truly thankful for how far you have already come. Let your gratitude transform what is, into the very best of what you know can be. Life's energy is what you make it. Make it purposeful, positive, fulfilling, and great." --Ralph Marston

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=