Monday, August 24, 2009

DAY 15 A Passion & A Purpose

Hello Journal,

Today is weigh-in day, Week 3, and the big number is: 383, for a ginormous weekly loss of 1 pound. Oh well, that is better than gaining. Next week will be fun...cuz I peeked yesterday and had lost 3 lbs. But drat, I had to go and eat high sodium yesterday. Ah well, not to worry, I have a head start on next week. :-D

Today's topic I wanted to explore from my "need to be CONSISTENT" list is one that is still a work in progress for me. It is:
Finding my passion/purpose.  

I admit I shrink away from exposing my heart on this one. It is so...personal....a knowing, that I was put here for something other than just existing...doing daily chores, getting through a day only to get up the next day and do it all over again. I believe we ALL are unique, and have a purpose, a reason to be here. We each need to find our passion in life, that which brings a smile, and gets us excited to get up in the morning.

I have dabbled at "it" over the years. But have repeatedly been side-lined by this darned weight thing. I believe our lives are, in large part, the sum total of the choices we have made throughout our life. I could go back and play the "what if" game, and guess how my life might have been different if I had made better/different choices.

But at age 58, I can't see how that is very productive...I can't change what is. Me, myself, and I am responsible for my choices...and the good news is, that means I am responsible for my future...I can CHANGE the direction of my future by making better choices NOW. Choices of what I think, what I do, how I spend my time, what attitude I will other words, I am not a victim! I have choices!! And I choose to learn from my past, forgive my mistakes, and LET IT GO. I am movin' on to a healthy future now.

One of my major motivations for weight loss is to get my health back, my mobility, so I CAN reach my dreams. And I KNOW that everything that is wrong with me medically will improve when I am no longer lugging around the equivalent of another person on my back!

I want my life back, my mobility and physical strength....the freedom to be who I feel I was created to be. I want to pursue my art, my painting.  I have no clue where that will take me, but I want to try. I do not want to get to the end of my life and REGRET not having tried. Mark Twain said: "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

I want get the basics done fast, with lots of energy left for my passion... painting and creative projects. It has taken me a long time to find my voice, to know what I want to "say" in my work. I don't want it to be too late. I can hear the clock ticking...and I don't want to waste any more time dinking around with this weight loss thing, playing at it, prolonging it.

I have really enjoyed following Sean Anderson's blog, The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser. So far, the two things that impacted me the most are:

1) The need to have a rock-solid commitment to eating responsibly, exercise, and getting and keeping the right mind-set.

2) The vital importance of CONSISTENCY and SELF-HONESTY

I believe that things are brought into our lives when we are open and ready for them...and Sean's blog, along with finding a food plan that I really enjoy and can do for life, have given me a feeling that this is it...I WILL get to realize my dream, my goals, my passion. To become the person I feel I was meant to be...the artist I was meant to be. To have a life of joy and passion. Two years ago in my private journal on the goals page, I wrote I wanted to:

Create art that will make a difference, not just for my ego or my be a blessing to others. It is rather embarrassing to write it out...I hope it doesn't sound egotistic...but there it is.

There are other goals on my list...helping my husband in his photography business, able to be more active in my church...and a hundred smaller goals that normal-sized healthy folks take for granted.

I want it all. :-)

Credit: Art by Jean Fitzgerald
(click pic to enlarge)

From Dr Phil's book: "Express your goals in terms of specific behaviors and feelings." 

My verse for today: "So there is hope for your future..."

My quote for today: "Life is either a great adventure or nothing." --Helen Keller

Enjoy the Journey,


Related Posts with Thumbnails