But I don't WANNA be a student again.
To have to do more reading, studying, learning, measuring, weighing, and focusing on this Weight Loss Thing. Yet again.
Do. Not. Want. To.
Well... that's life. We don't always get what we want.
Having gone through a crummy year, healthwise, has forced me to look for answers. I suppose if I wanted to be Chirpy Positive, I could call that the silver lining. Or as Michael Beckwith calls it, the Blessing (from his teaching of Looking for the Blessin or the Lesson in all of Life's Circumstances).
So. I haven't given up, I was just tired of writing about it. Had no answers, just questions and problems.
And then some kind soul (sorry, can't give credit since I didn't write down the name) suggested a link to a Facebook group that was "different".
And they were. And they were incredibly supportive and helpful. And I think I just might be, finally, coming out of the "sick" tunnel and into the light... soon, very soon. :-}
Background: sick for months last winter; some of the food and medications advised to eat had sugar; craving monster awakened; then heart trouble; then tests; horrible sleep; more tests; massive infection in teeth; dental surgery, all remaining teeth removed; complications, 2 more dental surgeries scheduled; no "teeth" til next spring; hard to get adequate nutrition; finally oxygen added to cpap at night; yay, better sleep.
Repeat: better sleep. I can't begin to describe how much better just getting that made me feel. Half of my heart is not able to do it's job now while I sleep, and the oxygen is giving it relief, so I am getting deep, restorative sleep now. Blessed sleep!
I finally wanted to "try" again. I cared again. I didn't feel despair, but hope started to glow again. Like a tiny ember you carefully blow on to get going again, until the fire is finally burning stronger and stronger.
Back to the new Facebook group that was "different".
Again, background needed for this to make sense: I've been doing low carb now for years; read the science; believed it; it worked; I lost weight; kept it off - mostly - for the first time in life. But kept getting stuck. Things shifted in the low carb community, and Fat became king, over protein. Low carb/high fat was promoted as THE way. People started promoting Fat Bomb recipes and bragging as to how they would drown their meal in sticks of butter. I had red flags, sure. But I figured they were the experts, and surely knew more than ME.
And it DID work. In the short run. And especially for those younger, healthier, and more physically active.
But I'm ME. I am NOT younger, healthier, and physically active. So when all that Stuff hit me earlier this year, I tanked. I started gaining at a ridiculous rate, and the only answer the high fat crowd had was "eat more fat".
Eating more healthy fat took away hunger, yes, absolutely. But at the cost of eating enough protein to heal my broken body. At the cost of healthy nutrition. And you can lose weight, especially at first. But was it fat loss? Or was it fat AND muscle loss?
I had so many questions.
So in desperation, I clicked on that suggested link to the "different" low carb group. The one that believes that the body needs protein to repair and be healthy, to lose weight and build muscle and support thyroid. All that jazz. And that if you still have your own "supply of body fat" you wish to lose, then you don't need to be going crazy with smothering your meals with sticks of butter.
"Fat burning is turned on by carbohydrate restriction. And eating Optimal Protein is a KEY to build health and metabolism."
Yes, they believe in eating healthy fats. But they teach how to moderate that according to your goals:
- Lots to lose = eat less healthy fat.
- Want to maintain = eat moderate healthy fats.
- Want to gain = eat healthy fats at the high end of the chart.
- But ALWAYS eat the right amount of protein for YOU, to be healthy, protect metabolism and build muscle.
They have an easy reference chart to help get you started. And they were/are incredibly patient with all my newbie questions... which are ongoing! (not claiming to have any answers here, so please don't ask ME nuthin... am still learning myself).
The focus of this group is to be HEALTHY, not lose the weight at a record pace. Weight loss can be achieved many ways, but losing fat and keeping your muscle mass - or even growing it - is a whole different animal.
It was encouraging to have a few answers, and a path to follow. It's taken months to get this de-railed train back on the tracks! My progress is slow, but at least it's in the right direction once again. Finally.
So... I am a student. Again.
But I also have hope. I have not given up. Came close, yes indeedy. So I'm grateful for a few answers to my prayers.
And for anyone else who is struggling, who finds their current way of eating has conked out on them and no longer works, may I suggest at least considering another stab at it, with a shift in emphasis?
From weight loss first TO Health first, and then the weight loss will follow. From high fat/moderate protein, TO moderate fat/high protein.
And yes, this group will answer all your questions. The same ones I had, such as "what about gluconeogenesis?" (too much protein turning to glucose) and "but so-and-so-the-expert says to lose fat you need to eat MORE fat?", etc etc.
Here is the link to said group: Optimal Ketogenic Living (OKL)
If you decided to join, just put in a request to join; it's a closed group, which is good. It keeps out the riff raff (spammers, trolls and argue-ers).
I don't claim they are perfect, but if you go there with a teachable heart, I believe they will fall all over themselves to help you. Really, they've been very kind and encouraging to me. Be ready to do some reading, to at least re-consider some stuff.
And please DO read the links they offer, to assure yourself of the hard science behind it. Well, as far as we can know for now, that is. We are always learning and discovering. At the top of the site is a "pinned" post, with tons of info. You've got nuthin else to do, right?? ;-)
I know this is long and dense, and not "entertaining". But I felt it's important, and if it helps someone else, then I'm happy with that. :-)
And if you got this far, I applaud you! And thank you for visiting me, even though I rarely post now.
Keep hope alive in the journey,