JAN 3rd I'm Stubborn! Are You??

Good afternoon Journal & Friends,

Okay... so here's what I was thinking the other day:

Stubbornness 

can be a good thing 

It all depends how you use it. Recently I was feeling Stubborn, so for the fun of it I put on the donkey earrings my sister made for me.

I am stubbornly believing that even though I'm not a young chick, I can still lose weight and get healthier.

I am stubbornly clinging to my opinion that it's the MENTAL ASPECT of this journey that will be the deal breaker. Too Busy to work on that? Ignore it at your own peril.

I am stubbornly determined to ignore the people that say I must be "realistic" about my goals to get out of a wheelchair. Not only do I want to ditch the wheelchair, I want to go on to someday ditch the walker and then the canes!

I am stubbornly protective of my way of eating, not giving in to societal pressures to "be polite". I don't DO sugar and flour. Period. If people don't like that, that's THEIR problem. I don't push it on others; they shouldn't push their junk on me. It's just what *I* need to do to reach my goals. 

I am stubbornly rejecting pity, disrespect or being patronized. I've finally learned to respect myself, so why would I allow less than that from others? I am kind when possible, but I stand up for myself now when needed. No apologies.

I am stubbornly NOT running with the "easy crowd" any longer. You know, the forums that talk and whine and pat each other on the back for repeatedly doing the opposite of what they claim to want: to lose weight and get healthy. I'm NOT talking about learning and growing, finding our own key, the whole process we all must go through. I AM talking about the "but" people. Those that whine over and over and over and OVER about the same thing, and when offered suggestions, ideas or advice, always respond with "yes BUT". That might be a clue they aren't ready to change. I recognize it ... because I used to BE one of them. I don't wanna be that way any more... I want to learn and change.

I am stubbornly determined to succeed. To claim 2012 as MY YEAR. To make amazing, astounding, fantastic and COLLOSAL progress this year! 

I am stubbornly going to be DEAF to the Naysayers and Eyebrow Raisers that think if you reach up for a huge goal you must be either stupid, arrogant, or setting yourself up for a huge, humbling and disappointing failure.

Why?? 

Why must excitement and determination be equated with cockiness?

 Why are we afraid to declare our intentions of victory with certainty?

 Why are we scared to stick our necks out, boldly and with passion?

I'll tell you why: because we are gauging our chances of success by our PAST failures. 

I am stubbornly refusing to do that any longer. My past failures are no longer the yardstick by which I am measuring my future. I am breaking that sucker in half... SNAP!

Sure, I've made a lot of mistakes in my past efforts. But I've also done some stuff right. So I am drawing upon THOSE victories. I am building a New History from them. I've found a lot of things that DO work for me, and will use them as my tools. Successful things about exercise, nutrition, and the mental stuff. Those make up my NEW yardstick.

I am going to be STUBBORN in 2012 

And that's a good thing

PS: If  you missed my poll on Sunday, I'd love it if you did a quick skim of that post, HERE, and left a comment with your suggestion. I'm going to tally and submit them soon. Thanks!

From Dr Phil's book: "That's your priority. You must hold yourself to a higher standard now. You cannot be wishy washy."

My verse for today: "But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds."

My quote for today: "When we are no longer able to change a situation we are challenged to change ourselves." --Viktor Frankl

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 869

NOV 19th My Choice Today is LIFE

Howdy Journal & Friends,

The fire is back, baby!!

I just spent close to an hour hunting high and low for an article I had kept to back up the opinion I'm about to spout off... no such luck... couldn't find it... zippo.

So... take it or leave it. :-D This will be just one person's opinion (and you know what they say about opinions, right?) Here goes, a message going out into the ether, no one person in mind:

Stop it. 

Just. STOP. IT. 

Stop repeating, ad nauseam, those mythological "statistics" that tell how HAAARRRDDD it is to lose weight and KEEP it off. I am totally over it! I am exasperated. Irritated. TIRED OF READING ABOUT IT. 

CUZ IT AIN'T TRUE!!

Who was it that said if you tell a lie enough times, it will eventually be taken for truth? Hitler??

Anyway, for years and years people have quoted and requoted those old stats about how only 5% can lose weight and keep it off. Blah blah blah. And since all the Quoters are only quoting other quoters, no one bothers to go back to The Source of these damaging statistics that have influenced an entire generation of dieters into accepting the inevitability of regaining weight.

Enough already!!!

The study I read (yes, the one I can't seem to find right now) exposed those tired old statistics.

 They were base upon numbers reported from a weight loss clinic full of people who had chronic problems losing weight and keeping it off, who had already failed over and over... that's why they were there in the first place. 

Their statistics were not from a cross section of the general "weight loss dieters" population. That is why their study outcome was SKEWED, and not applicable to the general "average" population. 

Dang, I wish I could find that study! I KNOW most people need authorities with credentials after their name in order to accept it as the "gospel".

Anyway, with the usual headline and soundbite reporting, the original study was taken out of context over and over and over, until now all we hear are things like: most people fail at their weight loss attempts, and of those that do lose weight only 3 to 5% of them keep it off... etc etc etc.

STUFF A SOCK IN IT!!

I realize we all do this, me included. We repeat stuff we've "heard", trusting that it's true. Well, newsflash: this one is NOT true.

And I am tired of our whole weight loss community being continually bashed over the head with misinformation and LIES. 

Yes, LIES.

Lies that we accept and internalize.

Lies that influence our subconscious.

Lies that cause us to impose limits on ourselves.

Lies that make us cower in the face of what the "authorities" tell us is supposed to be true.

Lie that set us up to fail before we even get started.

Lies that become self-fulling prophecies.

Please note: I am not stooopid. I get it that we are individuals, and we each must work with the hand we've been dealt. Example: I am now 60. I am in a wheelchair. I live with a few medical conditions. So... I'm not gonna stupidly set a goal to run a half marathon. I need to find the best plan for ME as an individual, and give it my best and honest effort.

So while running a marathon will, for ME, be unrealistic, I CAN set as my goal to live a powerful, joyful and triumphant life.. the best one FOR ME that I possibly can achieve. And I believe God has a plan for me, if I'll just get with the program!

I may not control the outcome, but I certainly control my EFFORTS (thank you, Coach Dayne  for that). 

I'm not talking about pie in the sky, unrealistic expectations. I AM talking about refusing to let others steal our dreams. About not laying down and allowing statistics to walk all over us, as if we were victims with no choice.

Have you ever played around with archery?? We did when I was growing up. Compound bows, wrist guards, arrows, targets, the whole nine yards. And the one thing you learned right away was this:

 In order to hit the bullseye, 

you had to slightly AIM HIGHER than the bullseye.

 And the farther away your target, 

the higher you had to aim in order to hit the bullseye. 

So if we start out this weight loss trip with LOWERED expectations, we are totally setting ourselves up to NOT hit our goal. This is hard enough without sabotaging ourselves from the get go!!

Aim high. 

Kick fear to the curb. 

If I goof up... so what??!! 

Get up, dust off, learn from it, and get my rear in gear again.

Am I feeling feisty? Uh... ya think?? ;-)

From Dr Phil's book: "Be kind when you can, but firm when you must. You alone are responsible for what you put in your mouth, and what you do to get in shape."

My verse for today: "O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand."

My quote for today: "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." --Les Brown

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 825

FEB 2 Oops, I (almost) Did It Again

Hi there Journal & Friends, 

I was walking near the edge, and almost fell over... into the Canyon of Comparison.

I read lots of blogs. Probably too many, actually. After all, there is only so much time in the day. But there are so many wonderful stories being told... so many interesting lives... so much hard-won wisdom being shared.

But I started to compare myself. I didn't realize it at first. I just felt this "pressure" recently whenever I sat to write a post. 

To be like so and so 

To write it this way or that way

To "be" the way this blogger is 

To write like They think it should be written

Last night I read post by Karen at Before & After: A Real Life Story. 

And I sat bolt upright, because she described how I was feeling, only hadn't been able to put my finger on it:

"And then it hit me: I was back in the mode of thinking, even though I’ve written a book and am gearing up to be a speaker, I don’t think it’s “enough” even though I haven’t even had a chance to do it yet! And at the basis of my dithering and slight panic was the old thought: ”I’m not enough…I have to do something I’m not comfortable doing…I have to be something I am not…in order to be valuable.”

That part about "I'm not enough", and feeling like I had to do more... that really hit home.

And I realized that I was comparing myself to those other blogs. And was feeling "less than".  Now please don't go leaving reassuring comments, patting me on the back. I am NOT fishing for compliments, reassurance, permission, approval, etc.  I am just saying... I am going back to my roots, to why I started my blog in the first place.

And it was not to please anyone else. I needed help! It was for me. To help me focus. To write about stuff I needed to read. To explore ideas and things I was interested in. If someone else was helped, that was a wonderful bonus, because I know the pain of morbid obesity... of not being who you want to be, who you know you could be.

This is ME: 

I refuse to wallow in the negatives, in my shortcomings, in my  downfalls, in what I lack. Those weeds have enough power, without watering them so they can grow bigger! I try to be honest and acknowledge them, but not DWELL on them. In my mind I am a work in progress. 

I am BECOMING. 

And I want to put my focus on that Becoming part.

If that bothers anyone, then there are sooo many wonderful blogs out there from which to choose! I am me, and I refuse to allow the judgement of others to bring me down any longer. Yes, I have allowed criticism to make me second guess myself... to doubt myself. But guess what?? This is MY blog. If they don't like what I write, why on earth read it??! Don't waste your time... go somewhere else!

I am learning and growing. I do what I do now because that is what I KNOW to do. Tomorrow I might have a new understanding, and it might be time to shift gears. I am not set in stone... I am fluid and changing. 

A butterfly starts out as a hairy worm. Does that make the caterpillar part of it's journey "less than"?? Obviously not. It's all it knew at the time... it's who it was.

I really like what Karen said on her blog about self-acceptance and loving herself. And how that freed her to become who she was meant to be... a healthier and whole person. Her emphasis shifted from the struggle and obsession with weight loss, to whole wellness. From a number on the scale to a healthy life.

I can see why someone might judge me and mock me when they don't know my heart. They don't understand the process of Becoming... of changing, of emerging. 

I do tend to talk about things I "want" to become... things that maybe I feel are inside me in seed form, or at least seeds I am planting within. Or, other things that are sprouting and reaching out and up for the sun... trying to survive and thrive. And maybe not everyone sees that... or approves of that... 

And I smile, because at last, I think I'm okay with that. Because *I* know I am in flux... in the process of change, of emergence, of Becoming. And no one can take that from me.

I guess sometimes we just have to get feisty... and not allow anyone--ourselves or anyone else--to take this from us. :-)

From Dr Phil's book: "This is about you, your weight and your health; it is not about them."

My verse for today: "The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation."

My quote for today: "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the GREAT people make you feel that you, too, can become GREAT!" --Mark Twain

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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DAY 537

DAY 406 It Starts TODAY!

Good morning, Journal & Friends,

PSSST..... come closer...

I want to tell you something exciting. No, don't look at me that way, it's okay!

Well, don't just sit there...

I'm not clowning around here...

Let's have some FUN!

Let's all join 

South Beach Steve's Hot 100 Challenge,

it starts today!

It's not too late to join... don't be slow... 

Go on over to Steve's place to sign up and find out the Oh-Fish-ul Rules (HERE).

I really like how Deb  at Deb Will Be Free  picked her goals based upon things she wanted to become lifelong habits. So, of course I copied her. :-) I'm still doing Shelli's 9/9 to 10/10 Challenge,  and these fit in nicely with that one, too.

My goals for the Hot 100 Challenge are:

1. Stay within my Calorie Budget (1600/day 6 days/wk and 1800/day 1 day/wk)

2. Exercise 6 days/week (except right after my 2 upcoming hand surgeries)

3. Take my Vitamins EVERY day

And I decided NOT to include that I would really really like to get out of the 300's by the end of the year... but like Deb, I won't say that. ;-)

So... that's the end of the story today.

Hey... how about US??

Note: No cats (or rats) were harmed in the making of this post. Natural non-toxic vegetable dyes are used to paint cats... and they are probably spoiled rotten and totally pampered!

Today's Peek at the Past (I had forgotten I wrote this... and needed to read it again, since I'm feeling like a phoney again. Here it is a year later, and I am desperately hanging on. This was a good reminder for me.)

From Day 45, September 23, 2009:

Yesterday, as I wrote that day's blog, I typed a sentence that I didn't even realize had bothered me all these years. It was about the angry adult male authority figure in my young, impressionable life asking me: Who do you think you are?? And then he threw a large, heavy glass ashtray at me (missed). The scene is etched in memory like it happened yesterday.

This morning as I thought about the people who signed up to follow this blog, I caught myself asking that same question: who do I think I am??? And I realized I have been doing that all my life. Out of fear of being a phoney, or being prideful, or self-deluded, or just feeling like I was a nobody, I would negate my own worth, what I might have to offer, or what I might accomplish in the future.

I am glad the light was shined on this bit of "stinkin thinkin". I can answer it, refute it, and replace it with a healthier self-image. I absolutely, literally CRINGE when I read some of the user names people give themselves as bloggers... derogatory and hopeless, even cruel sounding. Yet in the secret place of my mind, here was this thing, this axe that chopped me down every time I tried to grow up too tall and strong.

(For complete post " I AM LORETTA " click HERE) 

From Dr Phil's book: "Create meaning and purpose out of your suffering."

My verse for today: "My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song."

My quote for today: "Strength is acquired through resistance. Resistance surrounds us at all times always giving us the opportunity to grow stronger." Coach Sean, Cardio Coach

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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