Hello there Journal & Friends,
Last Saturday MyGuy came home from running errands, and was grinning like a Cheshire cat.
I wondered what he was up to...and when I went into the living room there was a huge balloon bouquet. He was so proud of himself. I, however, was puzzled. We finally figured out that he thought the next day was Valentines Day. He was a week early! He was sooo cute in his confusion!
So now I get to enjoy my balloon bouquet all week, and smile that THIS year, for the first time, he didn't buy me anything with calories. :-)
Which got me to thinking all week about Real Love...
My first marriage was a disaster. I was 17 1/2 years old. The only reason it lasted for 1 1/2 years was because my Mother said "it won't last 6 months." So, of course, I had to prove her wrong.
But we were both too young. We didn't have a clue as to what real love was. We didn't know it was not a "feeling". When you are feeling it, that's nice, but that's not the core of it. I'm not talking about infatuation... I'm talking about the real deal.
Feelings are the caboose, not the engine.
Love is a choice... the feelings follow that choice.
Real love is patient and kind, even when you don't feel like it.
Love is a choice.
If you are going through a rough patch, choose to act as if... the feelings will follow.
I am not just spouting some self-help psycho-babble. I have lived this.
I learned what love really was all about when I had an encounter with God back in 1975. I finally learned what it felt like to be accepted, warts and all. How it felt to be loved totally, and not rejected even when I messed up. To be encouraged and supported.
I learned that love is a choice, and the good feelings which follow that choice do not determine it's presence or absence.
It is strong and solid, like a rock. Real love can be counted on. It's a commitment, not a goose-pimply feeling. When that happens, it's fun... but a love that has survived 32 years of the fires of marriage has been tested, and some of the fluff has been burned away. The burnished gold that is left is dependable, and strong, able to withstand raging floods of emotions and firestorms of anger and disagreements.
My second marriage to MyGuy is solid. But it's taken work. I remember one time, I was packing my suitcases to leave. That was it, I'd had it! But "real love" intervened... and reminded me about patience and forgiveness. And we survived...lots of tests. We love each other in spite of our faults.
When all calms down, the sweet scent of longlasting real love fills the air once again. Breathe in, breathe out. It's still there. And it's a wonderful thing, and worth all the "choices" to stay the course during the hard times.
By the way... don't like Valentine's Day??
Want to know who to blame for this dasterdly deed?
Then click HERE to discover the possible culprit. ;-)