Thursday, February 11, 2010

DAY 186 Real Love a Week Early

Hello there Journal & Friends,

Last Saturday MyGuy came home from running errands, and was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

I wondered what he was up to...and when I went into the living room there was a huge balloon bouquet. He was so proud of himself. I, however, was puzzled. We finally figured out that he thought the next day was Valentines Day. He was a week early! He was sooo cute in his confusion! 

So now I get to enjoy my balloon bouquet all week, and smile that THIS year, for the first time, he didn't buy me anything with calories. :-)

Which got me to thinking all week about Real Love...

My first marriage was a disaster. I was 17 1/2 years old. The only reason it lasted for 1 1/2 years was because my Mother said "it won't last 6 months." So, of course, I had to prove her wrong.

But we were both too young. We didn't have a clue as to what real love was. We didn't know it was not a "feeling". When you are feeling it, that's nice, but that's not the core of it. I'm not talking about infatuation... I'm talking about the real deal.

Feelings are the caboose, not the engine.
Love is a choice... the feelings follow that choice.

Love gives.
Real love is patient and kind, even when you don't feel like it.

Love is a choice.

If you are going through a rough patch, choose to act as if... the feelings will follow.

I am not just spouting some self-help psycho-babble. I have lived this.
I learned what love really was all about when I had an encounter with God back in 1975. I finally learned what it felt like to be accepted, warts and all. How it felt to be loved totally, and not rejected even when I messed up. To be encouraged and supported.

I learned that love is a choice, and the good feelings which follow that choice do not determine it's presence or absence. 

It is strong and solid, like a rock. Real love can be counted on. It's a commitment, not a goose-pimply feeling. When that happens, it's fun... but a love that has survived 32 years of the fires of marriage has been tested, and some of the fluff has been burned away. The burnished gold that is left is dependable, and strong, able to withstand raging floods of emotions and firestorms of anger and disagreements. 

My second marriage to MyGuy is solid. But it's taken work. I remember one time, I was packing my suitcases to leave. That was it, I'd had it! But "real love" intervened... and reminded me about patience and forgiveness. And we survived...lots of tests. We love each other in spite of our faults.

When all calms down, the sweet scent of longlasting real love fills the air once again. Breathe in, breathe out. It's still there. And it's a wonderful thing, and worth all the "choices" to stay the course during the hard times.

By the way... don't like Valentine's Day??
Want to know who to blame for this dasterdly deed?

Then click HERE to discover the possible culprit. ;-)

From Dr Phil's book: "Choose the right attitude and the right behavior to generate the right results."

My verse for today: "Love is patient. Love is kind."

My quote for today: "The four most important words in any marriage...I'll do the dishes." --Anonymous


Unknown said...

Well said! Marriage takes lots of work and many people today just don't want to make the effort!

It was so sweet of him to bring you the balloon bouquet! Very thoughtful!

Sean Anderson said...

Thank you for a wonderful post.

My best always,

{ALL} for a Better Life said...

Aww, that is such an awesome post. Definitely made me think!

Anonymous said...

:) Lovely...and true. Deb

antgirl said...

It sho' is work. Lots of ups and downs.

How cute of YourGuy to be a week early. I am hoping Husband is home on Sunday. :)

Maybe that's why I've been wonky this week. Maybe I'm missing him.

Fiona said...

Beautiful blog.

Debi said...

Hey Loretta,
What an appropriate post for this weeks Holiday. It reminds us that we all do have a choice in this life and to make the right one. =)

Thanks...and Happy Valentine's Day
Second Journey

Christine said...

How cute, I love it when men dork it up being makes it that much more romantic for me.
And absolutely Loretta.
The best love is the fire hardened love.
Then it's like a fine has DEPTH.

Retta said...

Thank you, everyone for your nice comments! I truly appreciate them. Especially today... it was a rough one. So you all made gave me a big smile!

And a Welcome to Fiona!

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