And listening for the answers.
After hearing a song called "No Longer Slaves" a few zillion times, I decided to actually believe the message.
"I'm no longer a slave to fear,
I am a child of God."
Link for those interested: song on youtube
Fear? Me? naw.... yeah, right.
I've spent years at this health/weight loss blog. Writing, looking for answers. Reading and researching. Trying to learn. I found some things that worked for me, as long as I worked at them consistently.
Yet it never seemed to permanently take root. I had to constantly focus on it. It felt like it sucked all my time and energy. When was it going to be permanent??
I knew most the mechanics of it, this "losing weight thing". So... I decided to put it on auto-pilot. And I spent my best energy over at my art. And waited.
I floundered around awhile. Gained some. Lost some (thankfully, I'm on the losing end of that now). I tried to just do the basics I knew, and focus on the thing I felt I was here to do: to do something, anything, in art.
To make something, anything, that might be a blessing to someone else. To bring a smile, to enrich or add value to someones life.
Oh, and those fears?? Well, let's see...
Fear of sounding pompous or self-important by wanting to make art that would actually be a blessing to someone.
Fear of putting it out there, to be accepted or rejected.
Fear of being judged in the art world, the way I've been judged in the "weight loss" world.
Fear of trying and failing, of never making art in the real world the way it looks in my imagination.
Fear that it really IS too late.
Fear of going against the mainstream of what is "popular" in art circles nowadays.
And how's this one: fear that some will think this post is a clever marketing trick to get ya'll to go visit my new art site.
Anyway, I decided it's time to let the fears go, the best I can. Let go of all the fears that kept me for YEARS from making a serious art website where I sell my art.
To let go of the fear of mentioning it, because I was afraid people would think I was using them... trolling for customers. All that squirrelly thinking that held me back.
And now that I actually DID take action, I am more at peace and happier with myself, and finding it not "quite" so hard to do those healthy basics I mentioned earlier.
I suspect I will need to work on eating healthy more than the average bear for the rest of my life. But... now that my focus is on something that brings me joy and a reason to get up in the morning, methinks it won't be such a grind. Well, I can hope!
I encourage anyone, everyone who is on this quest to get healthy to find YOUR path. Your own answers. Never give up looking.
And find your passion, the thing that lights you up inside. That gives you a feeling of purpose. For too long I put that aside, thinking I had to have this weight loss thing all squared away before I could really pursue my dreams. WAY too long. As in, years.
Learn from my mistakes, and live your best life NOW. Live on purpose NOW. :-)
Enjoy the journey (not just the destination),