So here I am, sitting at my computer reading a book on my Kindle program. It's a controversial (to me) book, about the brain, bingeing, different recovery methods and why they do NOT work, and how the author DID recover.
Because I'm not finished, and it seems there are a few gaps in logic (ie, correlation does not equal causation, so sometimes I disagree with her conclusions), I'm not ready to name said book. Sorry if that sound mysterious. :-) I promise to talk more freely when I finish the book, with an honest and full review.
Anyway, I'm reading along rather slowly, mulling it over as I go, and then wham! I get hit with a thought that I did NOT realize was in me... which was:
But if I DO what she's talking about, I'll in effect be shutting down my weight loss focused blog!
And I will miss everyone!
I will miss the people I've come to care about.
I will miss the fascinating posts full of insightful and sometimes entertaining thoughts.
I will miss the inspiring and kick-butt posts that seem to come right when I need them.
I will miss feeling a PART of a community of like-minded people, who are on a quest to improve their lives, reclaim their health and LIVE every day to it's fullest.
If I Do what she's talking about... it feels like I lose all this.
Because her main point is this:
What we focus on grows
To constantly talk about food struggles, weight issues, slip ups and the perceived power of the urge to overeat only serves to STRENGTHEN it's stranglehold over me.
To give "it" more focus is to further entrench that way of thinking more deeply into my neural pathways.
To shine the light on "it" over and over and over just carves that rut in my brain deeper and deeper.
So now, I have a new train of thought to ponder... do I continue business as usual? Or do I think of a way to shift my emphasis to a healthier direction? And how do I do that?
Well, all this is what's been on my mind today. I haven't come to any conclusions yet. One thing I do know... it's a process.
Maybe this is simply the next logical step along the way. Maybe we start out this journey naturally focused on identifying and understanding our issues, and as time goes on we turn a corner in the process.
We move away from the "problem" and go TOWARDS the solution. We end up looking ahead, having gotten all we need from looking back. We focus on our new life, instead of our "old" life.
Just thinking out loud here.
Bottomline, I feel ready to "let go" of the old way. The old habits and ingrained way of thinking. For once, FINALLY, there is no sense of panic that rises up within at that thought. No push to run to the kitchen and "soothe" over that uncomfortable feeling of being threatened. No fear of change.
Maybe that means I am ready? Ready to embrace the change, instead of clawing and scratching my way to force a change.
I hope so. :-)
My book quote for today: "Here is a fact: someday you will die. What will you do with this incredible gift that is your life? Do you want to get to the end of the road and wish you had strived more, accomplished more, and loved more? To do these things you will have to take chances, demonstrate courage, and commit in a way that allows you to be flexible but never allows you to quit on yourself." --Richard Machowicz, Unleash the Warrior Within
My verse for today: "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope."
My quote for today: "The researches of so many eminent scientific men have thrown so much darkness upon the subject that if they continue their researches we shall soon know nothing." --Artemus Ward, American writer and humorist, 1834 - 1867
Enjoy the Journey,