So here I am, sitting at my computer reading a book on my Kindle program. It's a controversial (to me) book, about the brain, bingeing, different recovery methods and why they do NOT work, and how the author DID recover.
Because I'm not finished, and it seems there are a few gaps in logic (ie, correlation does not equal causation, so sometimes I disagree with her conclusions), I'm not ready to name said book. Sorry if that sound mysterious. :-) I promise to talk more freely when I finish the book, with an honest and full review.
Anyway, I'm reading along rather slowly, mulling it over as I go, and then wham! I get hit with a thought that I did NOT realize was in me... which was:
But if I DO what she's talking about, I'll in effect be shutting down my weight loss focused blog!
And I will miss everyone!
I will miss the people I've come to care about.
I will miss the fascinating posts full of insightful and sometimes entertaining thoughts.
I will miss the inspiring and kick-butt posts that seem to come right when I need them.
I will miss feeling a PART of a community of like-minded people, who are on a quest to improve their lives, reclaim their health and LIVE every day to it's fullest.
If I Do what she's talking about... it feels like I lose all this.
Because her main point is this:
What we focus on grows
To constantly talk about food struggles, weight issues, slip ups and the perceived power of the urge to overeat only serves to STRENGTHEN it's stranglehold over me.
To give "it" more focus is to further entrench that way of thinking more deeply into my neural pathways.
To shine the light on "it" over and over and over just carves that rut in my brain deeper and deeper.
So now, I have a new train of thought to ponder... do I continue business as usual? Or do I think of a way to shift my emphasis to a healthier direction? And how do I do that?
Well, all this is what's been on my mind today. I haven't come to any conclusions yet. One thing I do know... it's a process.
Maybe this is simply the next logical step along the way. Maybe we start out this journey naturally focused on identifying and understanding our issues, and as time goes on we turn a corner in the process.
We move away from the "problem" and go TOWARDS the solution. We end up looking ahead, having gotten all we need from looking back. We focus on our new life, instead of our "old" life.
Just thinking out loud here.
Bottomline, I feel ready to "let go" of the old way. The old habits and ingrained way of thinking. For once, FINALLY, there is no sense of panic that rises up within at that thought. No push to run to the kitchen and "soothe" over that uncomfortable feeling of being threatened. No fear of change.
Maybe that means I am ready? Ready to embrace the change, instead of clawing and scratching my way to force a change.
I hope so. :-)
My book quote for today: "Here is a fact: someday you will die. What will you do with this incredible gift that is your life? Do you want to get to the end of the road and wish you had strived more, accomplished more, and loved more? To do these things you will have to take chances, demonstrate courage, and commit in a way that allows you to be flexible but never allows you to quit on yourself." --Richard Machowicz, Unleash the Warrior Within
My verse for today: "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope."
My quote for today: "The researches of so many eminent scientific men have thrown so much darkness upon the subject that if they continue their researches we shall soon know nothing." --Artemus Ward, American writer and humorist, 1834 - 1867
Enjoy the Journey,
Loretta
=^..^=
DAY 919
34 comments:
Only you know what is right for you...hugs Loretta!
I am intrigued by her concept... but what if in stead we are focusing on improved health. Then what we focus on we become. I am definitely focused on being a healthier person and I think you are also.
The truth is...we can all see the results of your journey...it is working! The change has been dramatic! Sometimes people come up with these gimmicky things to sell books. Maybe there's something to it...maybe not. There's nothing wrong with focusing on getting well...better...healthier! But, I don't think there's anything wrong with sharing that journey with friends either. We love ya! :) Judy
Thanks, K, I'm a-searching. :-)
I like that... "focusing on improved health". Like it a lot!
How sweet of you to say, Judy!!
I've learned so much by reading about the journey of others, so I agree with you on that part. I guess I'm wondering if I need to be careful not to look backward now, and instead look forward, and build that up in my thinking. So I don't give "power" to that old way. I really feel like a different person than when I started... weird sounding, but I guess we do learn, grow and change. So maybe not weird after all, LOL!
This all actually makes perfect sense to me. I believe it IS a natural process to 'fix' what needs fixing and then move on to a different yet related focus. However, it IS also a part of the process to make sure that you pay attention to what needs paying attention to. I don't think the two have to be mutually exclusive to be productive at different points in our journey.
Hi. Some truth but ..... it's the spirit that matters,
Again comes the word balance. If you are thinking more about health than diet, if you are continuing to find time for living and being creative how can blogging undo the good. Blogging is often the place of insight, revelation, renewal, not to mention encouragement.
I do understand the danger of misplaced focus and I see it often as I read. That's why I titled my two main blogs Improving my health etc and Growing old gracefully.
I trust myself so I don't let myself become too entangled in self-help and improving your mind books, I thought they were distracting me from doing but that doesn't mean I'm not open, simply cautious.
And this post is totally selfish. I do not want you to stop blogging as you have become one of my favourite people in the blogging world. Something that has very little to do with weight loss although that's how I found you.
Blessings
Yes.. and it seems our focus can shift around when the need arises.
I've long appreciated the idea of "parallel truths". So I understand what you're saying, and have to agree. :-)
Aww, not selfish at all. I'd miss you too!!
And I'm very much like you... I read certain kinds of things with caution, too. This book has a lot of insight and truths, and I can learn from those parts. At the very least, it has given me a fresh perspective.
I liked your blog title "Growing Older Gracefully".
If I start another blog, I think I'll call it "Nope... I Decided NOT to Grow Old!"
At least on the INside, LOL!
Yesterday I was buzzing around, all excited about the art project I'm involved in, feeling spunky and spiffy. Then, I happened to catch a view of myself in the mirror... I stopped dead in my tracks (er, in my wheelchair tracks, but you know what I mean). What I saw, that ol' lady looking back at me in the mirror, was NOT how I felt on the inside!!! So I quit looking.. ha ha ha. I just don't feel 61 on the inside!! I think I'll stick with the inside, thank you very much. ;-)
I have mixed feelings about this concentration-begets-reinforcement idea. I definitely think that if we reinforce negative thinking patterns they become harder to fight. But THINKING about weight loss and exercise doesn't have to be negative. Wouldn't it make sense that to create a blog/journal where you discuss your thought processes or write to change those processes would HELP build new neural pathways for information?
In a way I think I get what the author is getting at, but I also have not actually read the information. Sometimes when we write, we become observers and less participatory in our own lives. When we obsess and turn the same thought patterns in our hands and heads it can and will definitely reinforce the obsession.
But without allowing yourself to examine and think and process (whether it be through blog or otherwise) how do you change? It sounds a little bit like denial. Maybe I'm not at the point to get what they're saying? something.
I like to read your blog. But do what you've got to! :)
BTW, my sentiments are true for me in regards to my life in general. :)
I kind of think you and I are on the same line of reasoning, actually. What I said in the post about it being a process, and we have to start out examining our life and issues, and go on to find our solutions... I agree with you. We do have to go through that part of it. You made a good point: if we don't do that, how do we change?? Doesn't the poet, what's-his-face, say something about a life unexamined is not a life worth living?? Okay, oops, that was Socrates. :-D
Anyway, I guess there comes a time to move on with what we focus upon, or it CAN become an obsession. Good point.
I appreciate your comment, Nanette... very thoughtful, and you gave me more to think on.
Thank you for "putting" it out there. I stumble upon your blog and have finally been inspired to journal my own journey. I'm just beginning and wanted to thank you for the inspiration.
http://imlosingit-carol.blogspot.com/
Why, thank you for sharing your concerns for me, Dinosaur. You've given me quite the laugh tonite!
You must be fun to live with!
Loretta...this is the thing about staying IN the blogging stuff...these ideas...the process..the sharing with like minded and not so like minded people to give us what we need to hear...whether it is from those of us that seem to be in the EXACT same place or those that are like dinosaur that believe the myths of weight loss ONLY focus.
I see your blog as an inspiration for the creative life and the side lines that the weight can put into the midst of our paths. You share your real feelings and the real world that is inside so many of us.
If we believe that blogging will help us lose weight or we are looking solely for a cheering squad, yes that focus can be detrimental. If we look at blogging as our creative process of our lives and finding an outlet for the weighted flying monkeys than it can be detrimental. Actually, I think I feel a post of my own forming......
much love and gratitude for you and YOUR process..it helps me with mine.
I think that is an interesting theory, and I am thinking a little along those lines right now. It is sometimes hard to read about people struggling over and over with the same problem. However, I also have friends I enjoy in the blogging world, and I enjoy writing about my life (sometimes) Maybe just changing the focus of our blogs a bit is the solution. We might lose some readers, but we might also gain some new readers.
p.s. that hamster gadget is hilarious. someone spent a lot of time observing pet hamsters and mice!
I love my blog and even though I have worked hard, it was blogging and you and my other blogging peeps that I credit ALL of my success to....
I think the glass is half full.... weight loss - if I focus on it - if tends to expand. So I focus on weight loss in my blog.
I know you will do what you think is right! Hugs!
Thank you for visiting, Carol. And congrats to being on your way to a healthier you. :-)
Ahhh... how nice to hear wise words from one who DOES get it! And who gets me. :-)
Yes, this was never ONLY about weight loss, right from the beginning. Been there, done that, too many times only to fail, and have to re-do it. This time, it's permanent. Slow, yes, but permanent. And the other parts that make up a whole, rich and healthy life... yes, you get that, too.
Thank you!
I agree, Debby. That's kind of how I'm thinking, too. To shift focus a bit, and to expand to the "whole" of this journey. After all, weight loss is only one part of our life. I kind of think it's a natural progression, after awhile, to widen the narrow focus.
I like that: focus on the weight LOSS part; the success part, where I want to be. Very much goes along with what I'm thinking, to look forward and not back. :-)
Oh, and Anne, I was thinking about your blog. I love visiting it, and I just asked myself why? You say you focus on weight loss. But really, you give us such a great peek into your world beyond wt loss. I love all the regional photos, I always look at them. And your life at work, your quirky and loving neighbors, your shopping trips, things you are learning about nutritionally and healthwise. From planks to hairdos, from black eyes to pufas. How you are learning to see your new self... Love it all!
Hi Loretta - I can't add much to what has already been said, other than that I hope you continue blogging if it is fulfilling and a creative outlet for you. I'm kind of dumbfounded by 'Dinasour' who clearly was just wanting an outlet for his/her meanness. I hate hate! It's non-productive and ignorant. If you don't like what someone says, quietly close out and never go back. I'm behind you all the way.
Thanks, Leslie. I plan to continue, and maybe just shift focus a bit.
Poor DinoSOUR, he really does NOT get it. But at least he knows that! :-D
And I know in his mind, he was trying to motivate, even if it comes off as by blunt force trauma, rather than a scalpel.
I'm like you, Leslie... if I don't like a blog, I just don't go there. I'm not masochistic, LOL!
I think I get what she's saying...that it's still an obsession with food. There's no getting away from food though. So, we have to learn to deal with our issues. It sounds like an interesting read.
Thanks for your comment on my blog! It sounds like we've got some things in common :-)
I've been blogging for three years and the focus of my blog has both changed and not changed...I revisit old stuff sometimes but there's always something new, too! We're not static, we're dynamic...you don't have to give up your blog just because of what someone wrote in a book! For me the journey has been all about trying on new things and incorporating the parts that work and rejecting the parts that don't. It's grand experiment!
Something I have found is that much of the progress we make is often not tangible. But of course, you can't measure that progress and so we rely on outside sources of measurement. From what I can see, you've lost a lot of weight already. And when that happens, sometimes your head needs time to catch up to your body...plateaus are there for a good reason!
"From what I can see, you've lost a lot of weight already. And when that happens, sometimes your head needs time to catch up to your body...plateaus are there for a good reason!"
I have to admit I'd never thought of it that way. I've always seen plateaus discussed in a negative light! But you've given me something to think on... it's only been that last few weeks that I can truly say that I LIKE who I am becoming. That self-acceptance that I think you've talked about. I've even let go of being "mad" at myself for not getting this sooner. I do understand why Dinosaur thinks I am just full of excuses. Because sometimes *I* think I am full of excuses, LOL! It's kind of funny that people think they are pointing out our flaws as if we don't know about them. I realize they are trying to help, in their own way. At least, I choose to give most folks the benefit of the doubt that way.
Hopefully my head IS catching up, and I'll see those results that can be measured, along with the inside changes. :-)
I appreciate your input very much. Thank you, Karen!
I can't tell you how often I have thought about how food and weight run my life. I have quit Weight Watchers in the past because of the constant focus on tracking, weighing, and food! Regardless, this is my life and if blogging and working it through with others is helpful, it can't be all bad. By the way, I am back on Weight Watchers. I am back to tracking, measuring, etc., so I'm focused again on...food! However, if I look at my way of thinking and, even my weight, from years ago compared to today, there has been growth.
Like someone said, "Only you know what is right." We WOULD miss you, by the way!
I really do think of this as a journey down a road. And I think our emphasis at different stages of that road can change. I was laser focused in the beginning on food, numbers, tracking, all that, because I HAD to learn it. But I was still, at the same time, looking to the INside stuff, so it would be a permanent change. So I think there's a place for it all, at certain times, as we have needs.
I wasn't really thinking of NOT blogging, just wondering if I had the right focus, ya know? So many wonderful comments have given me a lot to think on. See? I would totally miss that precious part of blogging, how we can learn from each other! I guess I thought if I shifted too far from typical "weight loss" posts, I wouldn't "fit in" anymore. Oh well, I'm still a-thinking on all this. In the meantime, trying to DO the stuff that requires doing. Eat right, exercise, control portions, all that same ol', same ol'. :-D
Dinosaur. Not nice. Not helpful.But, then, you weren't trying to be either, were you?
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