Hi there Journal & Friends,
I've had something on my mind, and debated whether or not to post it. In the interest of helping us understand each other better--and to get it off my chest--I'll just throw it out there...
There are small planes, like the Cessnas...
...and there are gigantic ones, like the Jumbo Jets.
They may be different sizes, but they all have to follow the same laws of aerodynamics to get off the ground and fly. They all have to overcome the same laws of gravity to not crash and burn.
There are all sizes of us "Weight Losers". All the way from those in the Cessna category, on up to those of us that started out as Jumbo Jets.
There are basics we ALL must follow to get up in the air, and get to our destination.
But make no mistake about it: flying a Jumbo Jet is different than flying a little two-seater plane. If you are "small-er", you will just have to take my word for it.
If you want to say it's a bunch of excuses, that's okay, too. I simply know what I know. I am living it. I know others that are, too.
It takes more than you will ever know to sustain the commitment, energy, drive, enthusiasm, and passion that it takes to lose 261 pounds. It just does. That is the total I need to lose to reach my goal, which is to weigh 199 pounds. I simply want to squeak into the Onesies.
This is NOT a plea for sympathy... far from it. I detest that! I am not a victim. It is for understanding.
Mine is a LONG journey. And once in a while I run out of fuel, and need a refill.
You will never convince me that those people who claim they are totally happy with being "huge" are thinking straight. Never.
I have been working hard on my stinkin thinkin for years now. I'm STILL working on it. But I AM finally to the place where I BELIEVE I can change. I am at the DOING stage.
It is not a straight line down for me. I hope that is not an excuse... it simply is the product of a lot of mental stuff that I am working my way through on my way down.
Please do not make the mistake of comparing the flight of a Jumbo Jet with a little Cessna. You will be wrong. Just accept that you do not understand what it is like. Unless you have walked in the shoes of someone who is overcoming a LOT of stuff... stuff that got them HUGELY morbidly obese, then you have no right to judge their journey, or compare it to yours.
It is HARD to lose weight at any size. I am NOT minimizing anyone's struggle, at ANY size. I am simply trying to explain that there is a different dynamic at work, in addition to the regular weight loss stuff, for that person who has a JUMBO amount of weight to lose.
Believe me or not.
There is a special place in my heart for that person, of any size, who has tried and failed repeatedly at this weight loss thing. I WAS that person. And all I know is this:
If you refuse to quit, no matter what, you WILL eventually learn what you need to learn, and you WILL get there.
You may stumble... you may have a few detours... you may FEEL like quitting. But don't. Because if I can do this, anyone can.
I am very appreciative of the absolutely wonderful people I have met here in Blogland. Kind, supportive, understanding, and encouraging.
You are truly a GIGANTIC BLESSING in my life. More than you will ever know.
Thank you all from the bottom of my Jumbo Jet heart... soon to be a spunky little Cessna. :-D
Today's Peek at the Past (Ha ha ha... a good reminder to myself to not get mired down in Stinkin Thinkin!)
From Day 24, September 3, 2009:
The idea is to identify and challenge faulty thinking, and replace it with a positive internal dialogue...to tell yourself the real truth so you can do something about it if needed.
We talk to OURSELVES more than all the other people in our life combined! Think about it...all the self-talk...is it helpful, positive, kind, loving, encouraging, your own best cheerleader?
I battle this like anyone else. But I am learning. Some think that in the interest of being "honest" they need to report all their "stinkin thinkin"...but then they STAY there, they don't refute it, challenge it, deal with it. Consequently, they stay stuck in it, wallowing in the muck and mire of it all.
I need to face it, deal with it, heal it, and move on. Or stay stuck, and never make progress. The choice is mine.
And I choose life! I choose healing, forgiveness, optimism, and hope.
(For complete post "Question Four & Eeyore " click HERE)
From Dr Phil's book: "Require more of yourself... you can do this!"
My verse for today: "... and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law."
My quote for today: "Always be polite. Say 'sir' an 'please' until it's time to start killin." --advice from a tough ol' Arizona goldminer, name unknown
Enjoy the Journey,