Saturday, September 18, 2010

DAY 401 Another Award & Still Pictureless

Hi Journal & Friends,

Ack!! I am still unable to upload pictures to my blog. I hadn't realized just HOW frustrating that would be for me. I TOTALLY think in visual terms, and feel like I am missing a limb or something! 

This has been a suprise to me, that I would react so strongly to this. So, I learned something about myself. Okay, happy now Blogspot?? Now FIX IT!! :-D

On to something of substance. (har har har, I am so witty... uh huh)

Seriously, there is a blog award making the rounds that I had HOPED someone would think of me for... sound pathetic?! Sorry, but I'm being honest. Yes, you know the one. I can't upload the image, but I can stick it in my sidebar, at the top right.

This award is called:

"A Blog With Substance"

I find that meaningful, and it touches me deeply. I think it's because of the way we are treated due to being Fat. Rudely at times, cruelly at other times. With a lack of respect sometimes... not taken seriously most of the time.

At a church I once attended, they would regularly have a time of sharing, where anyone who felt they had something on their heart could stand up and share it. Well... one time I DID have something. 

My hesitation was totally due to my appearance. But I hauled my over-350 pounds-at-that-time self up on the stage at the front, and played my little song amateurishly on my guitar, said my short "word", and sat down.

Two things happened later:
1. The young couple that the word was really for were thankful, and told me of an event that just had happened that fit perfectly with what I had said. They were encouraged.

2. A "minister" came up and expressed surprise that God would use even someone "like you" "Isn't it wonderful?"  Uh huh... thanks a lot. 

I suppose I am too sensitive to that kind of thing, that perceived lack of respect. I still am, if I am being honest. It's not that I wanted to be thought of as "all that". But why be so surprised? Why think it so "wonderful" or surprising that all kinds of people, even "like me", can have something to offer??? And for crying out loud, why do you feel the need to TELL me?!!

So...  that is why this particular blog award is meaningful to me. To have someone think that my blog has "substance"... which is saying that I have substance, since I put my heart here, on the line to be judged by the world.

Oh yeah, it comes with "rules"... I almost forgot. 

The rules of the award are: 
Sum up your blog philosphy, motivation, and experience in 5 words.  Plus pass this on to 10 other amazing blogs.

My five words are:

Choosing healthy joyful living NOW!

And since this award has made the rounds by now, there is only 1 blogger I would like to pass it on to: Ruby, at  A 252 Pound Journey to Being Free. 

She has come a long way, and still has a way to go... just like me. 

She struggles at times, just like me. 

And she tries to be honest and lays her heart out there, just like me. 

I highly respect her. So this is for you, Ruby. (see the sidebar at top for pic of Award).

Thank you, Deb and Mary, for judging me to have Substance.

Today's Peek at the Past (Huh... this kind of goes with today's musings of remembering how it "was")

From Day 40, September 18, 2009:
For many years, I have been "the biggest one." 

-I once went to a weight loss group...I was the biggest one there.
-My doctor admitted to me recently that I was his biggest patient.
-I have always been the biggest one at my church.
-I am the biggest one in my family.

It seems that it has been that way all my life...growing up, in school, at work, at church, family...

(For complete post "The Biggest One " click HERE

From Dr Phil's book: "Instinctual drift: the tendency, under stress, to revert to natural tendencies."

My verse for today: "Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock Eternal."

My quote for today: "A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails." --Donna Roberts

Enjoy the Journey,



Anonymous said...

Great post, as usual!

You know, that pastor's comment! ugh! I know that people often say things without realizing what they're saying, but he knew exactly what he was saying. You weren't being too sensitive. You read it correctly.

I know because I've had the exact same thing said to me. :o I've been tempted to reply, "Oh, really? Why is that?" and let them explain it's because I'm fat. sorry.... chuckle. You hit a sore spot, I think. lol.

And, I've just learned something--I've had instincutal drift! :o From now on, I'll just refer to it as ID on my blog. How appropriate.

Obviously, this was a post of substance. :D


Jules - Big Girl Bombshell said...

Loretta-- yes you are the biggest one

Biggest Heart
Biggest Determination
Biggest Substance
Biggest Inspiration

and I am one of your Biggest Fans...which I could get my comment thing fixed!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on the award! And pictures or no pictures, I love reading your posts. :)

Genie @ Diet of 51 said...

I hear your frustration over missing your visuals, but you express yourself verbally in excellent fashion.

That pastor, EXCUSE ME! Really awful thing for him to say. What was he thinking?

Your five words rock. So perfectly fit for YOU!

Destiny 150 said...

Let me know if you would like us to send your pastor emails detailing what a kind and inspirational person you are! Some people just don't know when to keep their mouths shut and others are just asking for us to shut them up with a fist! It's impressive that you can rise above it. Me? I'd be tempted to deck the guy. Sigh. I know. Working on my issues :-D

globalmom said...

Great post--even without the pix! I loved the quote on instinctual drift...definitely have had that going on lately. You were right on in your reaction to the "minister." I often feel like I'm seen as less of a person because I'm heavy. Totally ridiculous, but unfortunately true.

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