Hello Journal & Friends,
PROCRASTINATE: to put off (delay) intentionally and habitually the doing of something that should be done, due to laziness or apathy or fear or rebellion...
Well, that's one definition of procrastination that got my attention!
Last spring I had been injured trying to exercise, and then just allowed myself to get inconsistent. Then lazy. Then rebellious. Then fear crept in, trying to convince me that I would just get injured again if I tried to exercise. Great excuse... oh poor me!
Earlier this year I put my focus on getting my eating under control, and working on the mental aspects of this journey. But finally I couldn't dodge the truth any longer... I just HAD to get my rear in gear, and start moving it!
Thankfully, about that time I stumbled across the Countdown to Christmas Challenge started by Bella on The Beach (here). It was perfect! I loved the way she designed the challenge. We got to pick our OWN goal, and also our own reward. I was IN!
I knew me... once I made that commitment, it was all over but the shoutin'. It would transform what could be a 'negative' (my tendency for all-or-nothing thinking) and turn it into a POSITIVE, that worked FOR me. It would propel me to work hard to achieve my commitment in the challenge.
I was no longer procrastinating... I was DOING it. It feels good to finally be doing it, instead of just talking about it. That generates self-respect. Confidence. Hope. A sense of strength and empowerment. Not the stuck-up, arrogant kind... but the feeling that if you are committed and work hard, with all your heart, then you could really, actually, TRULY accomplish that thing that you have hoped for, cried for, prayed for, wished for, longed for... that you can lose the weight and get your health and life back.
You don't know exactly what the future holds, but you KNOW it will be an adventure, and you will be up for it. You will no longer be ashamed and hiding, and hopeless and discouraged. But you will hold your head up high, and it won't matter what others think... because you know you conquered a big monster that dominated your life for too long, and now you are free.
Those are the thoughts that run through my head when I think of WHY should I get off my duff and MOVE. Why should I stop being a bump on a log... a slug... a couch potato?
Sure, there are all the physical/medical benefits. But guess what... I have heard those til they are coming out my ears. No, for me it is the INNER rewards that are driving my exercise now.
When I started on this journey at 460 pounds, all I could do as far as exercise was... lay on my bed and move in time to an exercise video. In my imagination, I pretended I was standing. I wiggled and jiggled and did everything I could to imitate the movements goofy Richard Simmons was doing on Sweatin to the Oldies.
Eventually I graduated to "chair dancing"... that is, doing the same DVD while sitting down. The secret is to modify. Do SOMETHING. Use the muscle groups they are focusing on, and have fun.
I must admit, I get a little "eye rollie" when people whine that they "can't" exercise. There is always something they can do... even if just laying on the bed and jiggling!
When I started chair dancing again this time for the challenge, I had to do a lot of it half-time... I couldn't keep up. Eventually I was able to keep up, if I shortened the movements. Then, after a few weeks I discovered I could not only keep up, but do the full movements. Now, I am doing them vigorously, with awareness of the muscle and how it's working. I am really enjoying it now, and having a blast!
And goals... do I have goals!
My number one long range exercise goal is, as I get lighter, to build leg muscle, so I can walk again. Skip. Dance. Run. Okay, I'll settle for walking to start with. ;-)
You see, the form of lupus that I have affects connective tissue and muscles. Can't do anything about that. BUT... I know for a fact that when I weigh less, and am able to build up some muscle, that I will walk again, and not just for a minute or two. I am certain of this.
My doctor assured me that my form of lupus is probably not life-threatening. It just can hurt like the dickens sometimes, and impairs mobility and balance. That was a few years ago, and I hadn't realized yet that I had a lot to be thankful for... that it could have been much worse. I still had a choice which some people didn't have, as far as improving my quality of life. Even so, it's taken me this long to "get it". To see that I CAN do this, that it IS possible. I am sooo grateful for that!
So, now ya know why this is such a priority for me... why I say it's a matter of life and death, and I am fighting for myself. And, I have had blogger friends share some encouraging words, about how much less pain they are in now since losing weight. Wowzer, I loved hearing that!!
Everyone is dealing with somethng... and if not now, then later. That's just life. And if you are not now, then don't take it for granted... be thankful. Find YOUR motivation, your why, and fight for yourself NOW.
Heather Whitestone was the first Miss America with a disability. She is deaf. Something she said impressed me greatly: "The most handicapped person in the world is a negative thinker."
If you want to, you will find a way.
If you do NOT want to,
you will find an excuse.
Great tip: scout around Blogland, and find a challenge that suits you. Or start one!
Hint: when joining a challenge, pick one you can SUCCEED at... that means one where YOU decide if you succeed or not. You cannot always predict what shows up on that scale (boy, do I ever know that!) but you CAN choose whether or not you exercise. So pick one that you can measure, and control the choices, and that will set you up to succeed, not fail. I can control MY actions, but not always the results, like the scale. I have rarely succeeded in the past in challenges that said "I will lose X number of pounds by such and such date." But I usually succeed in challenges that tract my ACTIONS, such as exercise, water consumption, so many veggie servings, etc etc.
Well, there are lots of exercise challenges out there, and if you need a way to focus and get started, I'll bet there will be tons of them in January 2010!
From Dr Phil's book: "If you are thinking rationally positive thoughts, your body and brain are energized and primed for success."
My verse for today: "The Lord is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?"
My quote for today: "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." --Walsch
Enjoy the Journey,