Monday, December 21, 2009

DAY 134 Christmas Challenge & Miffed!

Hi Journal & Friends,

Today I am officially MIFFED!  

Except, last night I just had to go and leave someone a comment that came back this morning to bite me in the butt!! I said "attitude is a choice, not a circumstance." Great. Miss SmartyPants had better pratice what she preaches!!

 I was going to write... I am not a liar... that I hate lying. It is the ultimate in disrespect, to others AND to oneself. So I am telling the truth that I have stay within my calorie budget all week, and I did all my exercise. I did a mid-week peek at the scale... and was UP 10 pounds... that's TEN!!! Say what??!! Talk about a "circumstance" to try one's attitude!

So either I am nutso and doing something wrong that I don't realize, or I'm a liar and not staying within my calorie budget... or the Fat Fairy has been visiting me in the night!!

As far as I know, I am not nutso (??), and I am telling the truth. That leaves... ??? The Fat Fairy?? Okay, seriously, I just don't know. Can you really keep gaining THAT much water weight?? 

I have to admit,  I am one of those that NEED to eventually see results. I have always had minor fluctuations, so that's no biggee. But this is getting reedonkulous!

Today's weigh-in: 359, for a measly loss of 1 lb. According to the calorie budget I have been on, I should be losing about 2 pounds per week, and be about 353 by now. Sigh. 

No, I will never quit. It's just very tempting to feel frustrated, confused, demoralized. 

But... what else is there, but to keep going?!

Okay, the Christmas Challenge. This is Week 7 of the Countdown to Christmas Challenge.  And after this, only 4 more days to reap my chosen reward. Yep, I made my goal this week to exercise 5 days. I can feel good about that.

Well, I have guests from Alaska coming Christmas Eve, for a Tea Party... I will focus on that. I get to meet my 2 year old great-niece for the very first time. So I am house cleaning and decorating and anticipating. :-D

And just keeping on keeping on. There is no other option for me. Nothing, not even the unexplainable will steal this from me. I will ride it out as though it were a snowstorm... hunkered down and holding on. It will blow on by eventually, and I might even get some answers. If not, at least I will have learned another lesson in sheer determination.

From Dr Phil's book: "What is true about you in your mind, you will live."

My verse for today: "Let us not become weary in doing good for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

My quote for today: "What this power is, I cannot say. All I know is that it exists... and it becomes available only when you are in that state of mind in which you know exactly what you want... and are fully determined not to quit until you get it." --Alexander Graham Bell

Enjoy the Journey,



Sevenbeads said...

I'm sure it's really frustrating. I know you're not lying but do you think your scale is right? I threw out my old scale several years ago when it would give wildly disparate readings. Ten pounds is a wild variation. My new scale is accurate within a few ounces. My old scale nearly drove me to drink! I'm like you ... I have to see results on the scale to stay motivated.

Unknown said...

I choose to believe in the Fat Fairy! I do believe in fairies, I do, I do. She can really do a number on us!

You have the right attitude. Just keep on keeping on. We all have crazy weeks. I weigh almost 300 pounds, but never eat more than 1200 calories, yet I didn't lose an ounce this week. Just keep hanging tough. You're doing a wonderful job!

antgirl said...

Goodness. That is frustrating. Are you sure the scale is working properly?

How much are you eating? And what? If you are calorie deprived, the body might be hanging on to whatever it gets.

I don't think that's it, as I think you stated before that you have a reasonable calorie intake.

I would have to opt that the fat fairy broke your scale.

Retta said...

WHAT A SPLURGE: That's a good point about the scale. Yesterday I even put all new batteries in the thing. It's only about 5 years old, but was acting funny sometimes. Back when I got it, I weighed 460 lbs, and didn't have much choice, since most home scales don't go that high. It's "electronic", and big and heavy and clunky. I think when I get lighter, I will get a new digital model. They are much cheaper now, too, then when I got that monster. ;-)

DEBBIE: You're right... what else is there but to go on?! To eat only 1200 and still not lose, yikes!! Well, I'll bet we have a great NEXT weigh in. :-)


Diane Fit to the Finish said...

I'm so sorry about the gain. I know how frustrating that can be. It's hard, but I like your attitude. Giving up is the worst option possible. You are strong - you can do it!

Retta said...

MARY: Yeah, I'll blame it on the Fat Fairy!

Actually, I am definitely getting enough calories. I am only down to 1950 per day so far. I had planned on lowering it by 50 calories per week til I find a place that I can live with. What I eat varies wildy, I must say. Some days it's "healthier" than others. Still working on getting consistent there. But in the end, it should still average out, calorie wise.

I've compared my scale to the doctors scale in the past, and it was the same. But it has been acting up with "error" readings often now, so who knows. It's not in the budget for a new one, so that will have to wait. Oh joy, I get to learn patience. LOL!

Retta said...

DIANE: Thanks Diane. You are so right, giving up is totally out of the question!

antgirl said...

Is the calorie intake shockingly lower than what you were eating before? I mean, to your body. If it is a fairly large dip, your body might just be screwed up for a little while as it adjusts.

No worries, it will. If I eat more than 1800 calories a day on a consistent basis, I will start to gain weight. No kidding.

Are you paying attention to sodium? That could be another culprit. Are you in the hormone major fluctuation stage? Another possibility. If so, I can highly recommend cohosh. It will keep you sane.

Are you lifting any weights at all? Building muscle will help bump you into a higher metabolism.

That's all I can think of at the moment.

Our bodies are so weird. I can tell you that. Sometimes they definitely have minds of their own.

Do you feel more bloated than usual or anything at all?

Keep your chin up. This will pass. Whatever is going on, it will pass. You will figure it out.

Retta said...

Hi Mary,
I've been lowering the calories gradually, so that shouldn't be a big deal. I had to stop the strength training for now, my shoulder is still very bad. But I really look forward to doing that in the future.

Sodium has never been a big deal for me, and even if I have something high, the water is just temporary. And I can happily say I am past the wild hormonal fluctuations, yay!
Guess I will just have to be patient. I'll give it another couple of weeks, and if nothing changes, I will need to do some detailed examining of everything I'm doing... or go on a murderous hunt for that Fat Fairy, LOL!


karen@fitnessjourney said...

That must be really frustrating. Are you keeping a food journal or just keeping track in your head? If you got in five good workouts, it seems like you should have seen a bigger change.

I hope you'll keep the great attitude and enjoy your guests and the holiday.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Loretta! If I followed this correctly, at mid-week you were UP 10 pounds--but by weigh-in, you had actually LOST 1 pound. If I got that right, then you LOST 11 pounds from mid week! :o Pretty good if you ask me.

As far as is it possible to gain 10 pounds? Well, something could be wrong with your scale, but Just a couple weeks ago--I gained SIX pounds in an afternoon. I weigh just under 200 pounds--so, yea, it's possible.

shrug. I'm just glad you showed a loss at weigh-in, I know you've been working hard.

If you remember form history classes--there was a saying that Russia defeated its enemies and was defeated itself by Colonel Winter and Colonel Mud. We weight-losers are sometimes defeated--albeit temporarily--by Colonel Constipation and Colonel Water. Just sayin. :)


Retta said...

KAREN: It's more accurate for me to write in down as I go. And as far as the workouts, I am doing more now for ME than I was. But you have to remember, most of the time I am still in my powerchair. So my workouts aren't the same as most folks. But they are more movement for ME. And yes, I think I will just enjoy the holiday and guests, and try to be patient. I just get too antsy and want to see those results!

DEB: That is too funny... Colonel Constipation and Colonel Water! So true!! I hadn't thought of it that way... that if I was UP ten lbs, then I really lost 11 pounds... ha ha. It's not "fat loss", just water weight. But that's sure a different perspective. I think I like that! LOL!


Christine said...

Hello loretta,
it's water weight or a thyroid issue or something.
I love your comments on my blog and you always have a pretty good attitude...sometimes angry happens, it's what you allow it to affect that matters....and you are letting it affect nothing...
This is why I have added your name to my merry band of dieters. Your attitude of gratitude and fotitude impresses me.
Keep up the good work loretta.

Retta said...

Hi Chris,
Merry band of dieters... love it! I read your... Poem, and cracked up. I'm honored to be among those that will be shrinking our girth over the holidays! LOL!
And you're probably right, just a bunch of water. At least I hope so!

dailyseeking said...

I think it's your scale--next week will be better! Also, make sure your calorie intake is not too low, that can do as much damage as too high. You have a great attitude--keep moving forward.

Retta said...

DAILYSEEKING: In case it was the scale, I put new batteries in, so we shall see. Too few calories?? Not here! LOL! I am inching my daily budget down by 50 calories a week, but am currently still at 1950 per day. At my size, I should be losing slightly over 2 lbs a week. I'm probably just being too impatient, and it's just water.

I KNOW I have been doing well, so I must trust that, and wait.
You're right... keep moving forward. :-)

Joanne said...

Ohh Loretta that dang Fat Fairy!!! I know in my past dieting life I would eat silly and lose so I justified I could eat silly all the time (silly girl). Then when I would be spot on perfect and gain I would think what is the point.
This time I have thrown both those attitudes to the curb and looks like you are tell the the Fat Fairy to take a flying hike -- good for you.

As the old adage goes this is a Marathon not a Sprint and we will all get there at some point then we get to wander the track of maintenance together.

JoAnn said...

Loretta, you just hang in there girl! and don't worry about a messy house, I'm "only" 40 lbs overwt and can get around just fine and most days my house is messy too. Just do as much as you can and keep counting those calories.

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