Wednesday, December 30, 2009

DAY 143 Magic Wands & Our Words


Hi Journal & Friends,

What if someone told you that they were going to wave a magic wand, and from now on every word out of your mouth would, literally, come true.



What would happen to you?? Would you suddenly...

  • Become stupid (oh, I'm just so stupid)
  • Turn into a pig (I'm such a fat pig)
  • Be without hope (this is hopeless)
  • Make zero progress losing weight (I just can't do this)
  • Be miserable every time you try to exercise (I really HATE to exercise)
  • Never succeed at anything (I am such a failure)
  • Find the whole day went horribly (oh great, it's going to be one of THOSE days)
  • Be attending a lot of funerals (oh drop dead!)

Well, you get the idea. The stuff we say, and don't even hear ourselves.

I believe that words have power. Spoken words have power. Written words have power.

Someone once left me a comment (it was a nice comment) noting that they thought I didn't tell all, that I held back some things. Personally, I think it's a pretty dangerous thing to be blurting out stuff before I THINK. I have done that too often in my life, and the result is, someone usually ends up hurt. So now I try to consider my words before throwing them out there.

Why on earth would I want to put my half-baked thoughts out there to be set in stone forever, without considering them first? I believe the proverb: life and death are in the power of the tongue.
 
The other day MyGuy was trying to get some paperwork all together to send in for a rebate. This naturally involved me, since he is mildly dyslexic and paperwork is a major hassle to him. So, it's always my job to do any writing. 

Well, he was in a hurry, frustrated, and was confusing himself AND me. I wasn't helping the situation, either, by getting irritated. In typical guy style, he started losing his cool. But then he started doing something that I just refused to accept. He started muttering to himself that he was just stupid. He said it a couple of times, and I lost it! I told him "if you say that one more time I'll come over there and smack you!" 

And he DID say it again... and I jokingly smacked him on the back of the head. The tension dissolved, and I told him "no, you are NOT stupid... you are tired, in a hurry, frustrated... but you are NOT stupid!"

Words have power. We need to listen to ourselves.

Do you remember things that were said to you when you were a kid, or younger? 


I do. Hurtful words have a way of leaving a brand on you, seared into your memory.
As an adult, I can consider the source, resolve it and let go of the hurt... but I still remember. It took a lot of years to heal some of those scars left by words.

Like...

*Who do you think you are? (from an adult that was supposed to love and protect me, but was not)

*You are too fat to do as you say (from other children in the 5th grade, while I was doing an assigned task on the playground)

*Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about (from someone that could have used that opportunity to teach me how to deal with feelings in a healthy way rather than eating them numb)

*Oh look, a moo cow (from a man I walked in front of, on my way to a New Year's Eve party, after spending 2 hours getting all dolled up and feeling good about myself--until that instant)

And on they go. We all have them, and some people have had the unimaginable said to them.

But now, as an adult, we have a choice... to choose if we will speak/think/write words of LIFE.

When I have issues, I don't run to the computer and blurt it all out immediately. I work it out first, between me and my God. Or at least, I try. Sometimes we just must accept the "mystery of why". We don't always get answers, at least right away. This journey is a learning process.

Anyway, that's the way my blog rolls. I choose to wrestle with things, for the most part, before they are forever committed to permanency. I want my blog to be encouraging... I actually go back sometimes and re-read certain entries. I NEED it to be encouraging. And I sincerely hope it helps others on this road. It can be a grueling trip some days! 

When I started, I wrote just to me. Later I realized a few people were reading it, also. And I hoped that others like me who had a lot to lose would be encouraged to never quit... to fight for themselves... that it can be done. 

I have been "given up on" by a lot of people in my past. And one thing I know, is that if you just keep going, you WILL get there, sooner or later. I wanted to pass on that hope, that determination, and not give up on people.

Words have power. Use them with care. Use them for life, and love, and for blessings.

The ancients knew this truth. They not only had curses to speak over people, but blessings they spoke over loved ones. 

Irish Blessing:

May the roads rise to meet you.
May the wind be at your back. 
May the sun shine warm upon your face; 
The rain fall soft upon your fields. 
And, until we meet again, 
May God hold you in the palm of His hand. 

From Dr Phil's book: "You talk to yourself more than everybody else in your life combined."

My verse for today: "Out of the heart, the mouth speaks."

My quote for today: "Is life not full of opportunities for learning love?" --Henry Drummond

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta
=^..^=


14 comments:

~PakKaramu~ said...

Pak Karamu visiting your blog

karen@fitnessjourney said...

I really like this post. So often when I see the title of a blog is a negative description of the writer, it breaks my heart. It is especially sad when children say negative things about themselves because, like you mentioned, they probably hear it at home or school.

Now, if I could get that wand in my hand, I might say something like-Wow, I look just like Megan Fox today or I'm as smart as Bill Gates.

Olivia said...

This was a great post, thank you :)

You have definitely inspired me today!

I WILL get there!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Hey, Loretta! comment try #2! My first one was too long. HaHa--I should have paid more attention to your post and thought it thru better. chuckle.

The subject of this post is amazing in that I've been rereading my own posts and have just been wondering if I should lighten my blog up a bit. I've used it more as a sounding board for my own 'workings out" but am thinking that I may need to save some posts as unpublished drafts for a few days before I hit the publish button. I've had to delete some posts after the dark mood passes and I decide they were a bit over the top. :}

I am determined to be real, but there is a point where real morphs into something not fit for prime time...

Anyway, loved your post--right on cue. And, if you could, may I borrow that magic wand, please?

Deb

Christine said...

I needed to bounce sound off a backboard for a while when I first started my blog.
It helped me to go back and reread the words and see how my mind was working (or not working) as I got better, I noticed an uptick in the positive aspects of my blog.
I put alot of my postivity out there.
I think sometimes people go through life thinking that everyone else has it all together.
Especially when that person is succeeding.
Like I have lost a lot of weight....and I was moving right along.
Did that mean that I didn't have bad thoughts and bad days? I reintegrated them so people would know that even though it 'looks' easy for me, it really isn't.
I get your gist.
Words are important...what we say to ourselves can determine our outcome.
excellent post.

Sevenbeads said...

You're absolutely correct to measure your words before putting them out there. It's another place where you're in control. It's right up there with food. You call the shots.

foolsfitness said...

Firstly, check your e-mail. you won a dvd... and honestly not *just* because you were being nice to me!!! I liked your art and it had a great message.

I always enjoy reading the quotes you pick. Words do have power. I do try to hold myself back in being seriously critical of others... in honesty I do have my own faults. (not negative but just honest in that)

There are times I slip and I know I'm very critical when it comes to myself. Self reflection is important. maybe self degregation isn't so helpful.

But in honesty someone like Foolsfitness who sometimes refers to himself in third person might benefit from a bit of humility too.- Alan

antgirl said...

Powerful words you wrote there, Loretta. Personally, I like the thoughtfulness you put into your posts. It's obvious you think a lot about what you're writing about. Your revelations are then very striking and inspiring.

You are wonderful and strong. A powerful and positive force.

I'm not ever giving up on you.

It's so easy to get irritated with the men folk. It's something I need to watch and improve.

Anonymous said...

P.S. So if you had that wand and you called your thoughts "half-baked," what would happen? :D Love ya, Loretta, and I bet your thoughts are baked quite nicely. :D Deb

Retta said...

Thank you everyone for visiting and commenting!!

DEB: We all have our own unique reasons to blog, and approach it differently. I love reading yours, it is very honest and heartfelt, and makes me think.

Oh, that was funny... half-baked... I guess I didn't word that right. I meant if I rushed and put it out there before thinking it all the way through, then it would be half-baked. Wanna hear something funny? I looked up the word "half-baked" in the dictionary when I read what you said. Yikes, I was horrified! Here are just some of the words used to describe it:

ill-conceived, hare-brained, cockamamie, impractical, unrealistic, unworkable, ridiculous, absurd, crazy, crackpot, foolish, stupid, silly, idiotic, simpleminded, feebleminded, featherbrained, brainless, witless, unintelligent, ignorant, dim, dopey, dumb, thick, halfwitted, dimwitted, birdbrained...

I had no idea!! I'll be careful next time using that loaded word. ;-)

CHRIS: That's a really good point... to be able to go back and see how you were thinking. Like free therapy! :-D

ALAN: "Self reflection is important. maybe self degregation isn't so helpful." What a great point! Yeah, the self-honesty part of this journey can be hard at times, but it's a must, it's where we get our break-throughs.

MARY: Thank you, Mary. Your words mean a lot to me. A LOT.

Loretta
=^..^=

Anonymous said...

yep you are absolutely correct. Its better to be positive than to be absolutely honest about whats going on in your life. Usually when I sound "a little down" I am actually scraping myself off the floor, because I refuse to be so down in the dumps on blog! It might be happening but I dont have to acknowledge it. LOL

Retta said...

Hi Nancy,
Actually, I don't think of it as either honest or dishonest... it is just better for ME to work out my issues first, and blog second. We all approach it differently, and there is nothing right or wrong about that, IMHO. ;-)

And in reality, I think it is VITAL to acknowledge what is happening in my life, how I am feeling, and face it and deal with it. Avoiding stuff is what got me to 460 pounds. It's not that I don't acknowledge stuff, it's that I choose to deal with it, and re-frame it in the most hopeful, positive light possible.

Sure, there are times in life when it's painfully hard to "see" how much we have to be thankful for, but even when stuff is hard, it is LESS hard, and I can get through it better when I choose to remember that
(1) it is usually temporary and
(2) I am not alone; even in the darkest times I believe God wants to comfort me and encourage me, and help me make it through, and
(3) that which I choose to focus on will magnify and seem bigger, so why not choose to focus on the good? That is not pretending, fantasy or avoiding... it is dealing with it and moving on, and holding onto the good.
Works for me. ;-)

Loretta
=^..^=

Fiona said...

Thank you for sending me here! I actually wrote a blog that is very similar on another site. About becoming what we thing we are. Powerful things words!

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