DAY 453 Choosing My Identity on Toon Tuesday

Hi there, Journal & Friends,

I wrote this post, but had decided to just skip posting it, cuz I didn't "feel" like it, and felt like a phony... then I read Anne's post at Carb Tripper (HERE).

She drew a hilarious series of cartoons (on her cell phone!) that snuck in a serious message. It was about the 3 Pigs--weight loss version. And here is the line that hooked me: "Her MO was strong... she made time for working out - even on days she didn't "feel" like it."

So, whether or not I "feel" like it, I am doing this, too. I will not curl up in a ball and withdraw. I will go on. Here then, is the post I was going to dump, because I didn't "feel" like it. Instead, I "choose" it.

I am a weight loss Warrior.

Unapologetically. 

Unequivocally. 

Unreservedly.

I remember a time in my life when I didn't like fighter-type analogies. Words like battle, struggle, fight, warrior, defender, army, war, weapons...  At church it got so I didn't even want to join in when they sang songs about being the army of God, or fighting the good fight, battling the enemy,  etc.

Anything that smacked of struggle and strife... nope, I'm outta here. 

I just wanted Peace and Quiet. 

I wanted Calm and Nicey-Nice. 

I wanted everything all Happy Happy.

And that's why I ran away from any negative emotions, right into the arms of Food. I was trying to escape the turmoil of the negative. 

Like I mentioned in a recent post, I wasn't taught HOW to deal with the negatives. We didn't talk them out. We weren't taught coping strategies. We got in trouble for crying. We were told to shut up. "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about."

So I learned my lesson well. I stuffed my face, instead of facing my stuff. Because I didn't know HOW to deal with it, to process it, to bring about healing.

In the last few years I have learned a lot. That in order to feel GOOD, I must face the bad. I cannot sweep it under the carpet, and then wonder later why I keep tripping over this huge lump under the rug. Problems don't get better by inattention!

I have learned that the peace I sought comes at a cost. My pastor once said a working definition of Peace was this:

Peace is a by-product of things set in order.

I'm not talking about the gift of Peace, from the Prince of Peace... the free gift from God. I AM talking about my responsibility to deal with life in a mature way, not like a spoiled child who wants instant gratification... who wants to just play and have fun and not deal with the tough stuff.

The price for me to "get happy" was to have the courage to face life, to deal with my stuff, and resolve it, not run away from it.

If your home was under attack, would you defend it?

If someone you loved was being assaulted, would you fight for them?

If your child was being dragged off into the bushes by a mountain lion, would you turn into a raging Warrior on their behalf??

Well guess what? My journey to health is finally that important to me! And I will defend it against ALL assaults, from whatever source. 

From negative opinions... from sabotuers... from faulty theories... from my own squirrelly thinking. Even... dare I say it?? Other bloggers who are critical of this kind of terminology, who feel above it, more enlightened, more at-one-with-universe-and-all-the-peaceful-little-bunnies-and-butterflies-and-happy-little-trees... whew!

I am unapologetically a 

Weight Loss Warrior. 

And I fight for my own peace, my own health, my own happy and healthy future. I do this most days with joy, with a smile, with excitement for life right now, and with growing anticipation for what is to come.

I say do what works for you. Do it YOUR way. For me, I can't be passive any more. I can't be wishy-washy or namby-pamby. That got me NO where in the past. 

I had to get FEISTY! I had to be willing to go on the offense, to get spunky!

There is a time for all things. 

There is a time to fight for what is important. 

And this is my time.

On to victory!!

From Dr Phil's book: "Don't be deterred from achieving your weight loss goals just because somebody else is too afraid or unmotivated to go after their own."

My verse for today: No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

My quote for today: "The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses--behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights." --Muhammad Ali

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

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