Friday, July 30, 2010

DAY 355 More Fair Photos & Honesty


Hi to Journal & Friends,

I almost chucked this next set of Fair pics. 

When I saw them, I felt embarrassed. 

And that is WHY I am posting them. I refuse to be held captive to emotions like shame and embarrassment!

You see, I was having fun taking photos all over the Fair. What I did NOT know was that Jim was taking pictures of ME, from a distance, showing me in my Powerchair. He gave me copies of his photos later that day.




I had to ask myself why I was reluctant to show you these??? Was it my ego, my pride that didn't want to be seen using the Powerchair, instead of able to walk around? Was I afraid I would be pitied, or get the "oh poor you" reaction?? 

I think that is part of it. Also, it reminds me that I still have a long way to go... it makes me feel uncomfortable, and less successful, less... normal. Sigh... lots of mental stuff to work on, still.

So I am robbing those accusing feelings of their power by showing the pics! No hiding! 

And I am thankful that I have my Rascal powerchair, until the day comes when I am thinner and stronger and don't need it any longer.


While I was taking this pic...



Jim was taking this pic...



While I was busy taking this one...



Jim was behind me taking this...



While I was taking this pic...



Jim was sneakily taking this...



And this...



Amazing the things we can learn about ourselves at the Fair, huh?!!


From Dr Phil's book: "Regaining emotional control in your life is one of the most important things you can do."

My verse for today: "The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple."

My quote for today: "Everything alive is in movement. This movement we call growth. The most exciting form of growth is not mere physical growth but the inner growth of one's soul and life." --John O'Donohue

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta
=^..^=

11 comments:

Lisa said...

I'm glad you told shame and embarassment to take a hike. You are have already come so far. 122 lbs gone from your body!! You'll get where you want to be....one day at a time :)

Ann said...

Brava to you, Loretta! Trust me, you are NOT alone. I avoid the lens side of a camera like the plague. And don't we all have (somewhere) a photo we failed to discover and destroy, that has us sitting on a couch or on a chair, hugging a pillow in front of us? Sheesh! LOL From my perspective, do you know what I got from Jim's photos? Not you, in a chair, but the juxtaposition of the pink umbrella popping up around the fair. It wasn't the chair that grabs the attention. We've all seen those. It is the pop of color. Funny, isn't it? We all tend to focus on what's not right about us (in our own minds), while the rest of the world is paying no attention to those things at all. LOL There is a lesson in that for all of us.

Nancy said...

i love that your hubby is taking pics of you in your chair, he loves you and wants memories of YOU at the fair, not just the stuff you guys saw. Its ok, so what, you were in your power chair, at least you were THERE!!! Next you you may be in your chair, and you may be walking and you may be doing a combo of both, but definitely you will be POSING next year!!!!!! Power chair just means more power to ya!
((hugs!))

Kimberley said...

Do you hear me clapping for you Loretta! Bravo my dear lady. Cast aside any shame or embarrassment. The time for that is OVER!

You are a wonderful, beautiful lady and I want to see you in your chair, out of your chair...just about anywhere! You rock!

Not to mention the pink umbrella is great!

Ms. PJ Geek said...

#1 it is SWEET that your hubby snapped those photos of you.

#2 it takes a certain style to pull off that pink umbrella and you got it , girl, STYLIN! seriously... and you didn't get sunburnned. SMART!

#3 you are living , not in bed, not at home, not hiding.

#4 "no guts, no glory." you got it..all of it

Deb Willbefree said...

Like I said, you had all kinds of breakthroughs as a result of that fair. :D

Darkness can not stand the light. Good job!

Deb

Genie @ Diet of 51 said...

How ever you get around, it's good to get around. Like that pink parasol! Very perky!

anne h said...

Focus on the "Power" part - as in empowerment....
Cus that's what you did, and what you are....empowered!

karen@fitnessjourney said...

Try to keep things in perspective Loretta. One day you will be walking the fair. There are those who will never be free from theirs. I can't wait to see the pictures when that day comes!

I thought of you last night Loretta, my husband took our daughter to the local fair. They had so much fun that I wished I'd gone too.

Patsy said...

One step at a time. :o) Craig took an 'accidental' photo of me from the rear while we were out walking (I was at the lake, feeding the ducks with Tabitha) and because he was fairly close, my legs look REALLY short and fat... Ok, they're fat, but they're actually very long! I HATE that photo with a passion and I applaud you for posting the ones Jim took of you!

The Brown Recluse said...

I have loved all of your fair photos. I also love what you said about not being captive to emotions like shame and embarassment...because all that I have lost and/or given up because of being held captive. You are an inspiration, no doubt!

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