Sunday, January 30, 2011

JAN 31 Looking But Not Seeing & The Epiphany

Good Evening Journal & Friends,


Amazing how better life looks after some good sleep!! Sorry for my whiney post from Saturday. 



You all were so supportive and kind. And so many insightful comments! What a treasure... what a resource. Thank you so much.

There was one comment that made me say Bingo! It was Deb, of course. 

She ought to start her own online counseling business, for reallies! 

Anyway, it took a full nights sleep for me to comprehend her comment. And when I did... Blink! The light came on. Let me explain with a visual.


How many birds do you see in this image?? I found 14, but I suspect there might be more.



The point is... it's hard enough to really SEE stuff, even when we know what to look for. But I didn't even know I what I was looking for when I wrote my previous post!! I really appreciate seeing it from someone else's point of view. Deb pointed out my blindspot... something I was doing but didn't see.



Deb said:

"WE let it get tooo far before we work on it, because that's how we've trained ourself to be. We ignore, look away--and eat. Eating allowed us not to bother about things.

Not to bother... Taking care of ourselves feels like a bother, doesn't it? Eating--now eating--that's not a bother at all. That's instant gratification. And we don't have to bother. ...until the drug wears off.

So hard to break that "not bothering" habit. ... Feels like so much effort to put forth oveer a little thing. And the "too whatever" always starts as a little thing. Then it's a big thing. then... Well, you know what happens then.

Retraining, girlfriend. Making ourselves a priority to us. Deciding we're worth the bother."


The part that I put in bold was what caused me to read this over and over, til it sunk in.

And that's when the epiphany smacked me. I am embarrassed to admit that for the LAST 33 YEARS I've been critical of MyGuy for his habit of detesting any kind of  "maintenance".

Whether it was for cars, household repairs, or our relationship... if it was maintenance, forget it. He ALWAYS waits for a crisis to hit, which FORCES him to deal with it. Then it is a BIG deal, instead of handling it when it's still a LITTLE deal.

Umm... that suddenly started sounding mighty familiar to me... and the light came on, and my blinders came off. 



I saw, much to my embarrassment, that I DID THE SAME THING. I did it in regards to the way I was handling those things I wrote about... the "TOO" list. 

Too little sleep, too much physical pain, and too many negative emotions.

I would ignore them when they were in the "small" beginning stages... not doing the maintenance to fix them, before they turned into a BIG deal, and I was forced to work on them!!!!

Seeing the real problem is half the battle, I think. So now the work of "retraining" myself begins. To deal with these things while they are still small.

Before, I looked but didn't see. Now I see. Thanks, Deb!



(If you enjoy optical illusions, there is a fun site HERE with tons to choose from) 


From Dr Phil's book: "You must carve out time for tension-reducing activities."

My verse for today: "The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge."

My quote for today: "Take the attitude of a student, never be too big to ask questions, never know too much to learn something new." --Og Mandino

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta
=^..^=

DAY 534


14 comments:

Christine said...

catch it small.

~ Darla ~ said...

Yep, Deb is a smart lady. All the too many's add up to too much and then you just go down, down, down. I belive that's a big mistake of us "dieters." If we go off track we sometimes let it go too far before returning to good, healthy habits.

pinkvision said...

Yes, that is very perspicacious of Deb (hehe - I've wanted to use that word for a looooong time!)

What immediately came to mind, Loretta for me, as a non-weight-loss analogy, was how I deal with the recycling. If I don't sort it at source, and don't take it out, it turns into a yukky stinking mess attracting all sorts of bad things. But...when I sort as I go, chucking the veg peelings in the peely bin, the tins, cardboard, glass & paper in the recyclables, and the plastics in another for the tip, it is all so easy, because I'm doing it like a habit now, without thought. It is absolutely no hardship. At first when the council brought it in, intellectually I knew it was a good thing to do, but it took me some time to train myself to be automatic about it. And now I have a wonderful compost heap breaking down into rich humus for my garden next year and a kitchen free of smelly garbage!

Isn't it great when we realise by a little effort and a little application, we can make our lives so much more comfortable and beautiful? Hope your small changes work well for you in the future. :)

dailyseeking said...

Good post--glad you are feeling better. Great comment you left on my blog! Thanks for the interaction; I really appreciate it!

MizFit said...

I was traveling so I missed saturday in real time but am glad to see youre on the upswing.

I say never apologize---thats what we're here for.
to read and listen.

Deb Willbefree said...

Well, first, I didn't think your last post was whiney at all! I didn't. It was real and honest and an assessment of how you were feeling. IMHO only producing shined up posts is a waste of time. It's the thoughtful, feelingful ones that often provide breakthroughs--to the writer and to the reader.

Anyway, thinak you for the kind words--I am quite certain that I do not deserve them. :} I am equally certain that my comment hit the mark because your whole post hit the mark with me!

Your post gave me my own epiphany and I just sharerd. :) I've spent the last couple of days FEELING myself turn away from the crumbs of things. And FEEING myself just not wanting to turn back and bother to sweep them up.

I'm really not sure how to deal with the little things. I know, so odd.

Thank you, Lorretta, for two great posts. (Although this one made me a little blushy.) Reading my words as tho someone else wrote them was interesting and left me wishing that I knew how to do what that chick said!

Deb

Deb Willbefree said...

Oh, no! I came back here to add a comment to my comment and my comment isn't here! UGH.

First my addendum--the comment about the recycling is perfect! To sort--so simple and so tedious and so, "I don't want to bother." Until there's a huge smelly, disgusting, mess. Then you have to bother.

Perfect example. I want to get to the effortless habit part. NOW. chuckle.

I'll redo my comment after I make sure it doesn't reappear someehow.

Deb

Patsy said...

Great post (and well done Deb!) It's surprising how it often takes someone else to show us what should be blindingly obvious! It's never too late to change your ways!

Millie said...

Wow. This is great insight, not just what Deb said, but the small things comment too. How to catch them small, oh for the answer to that! I guess it's up to each of us.

Do you spend time each day "renewing your commitment"? Maybe that would be the appropriate time to look into the small things and engage our imaginations.

I missed you on the other and wanted to see if you're okay. Love you.

Millie

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

Glad you had a good 'come around' moment. It's funny how we can point out faults in others and not always realize when we have the very same ones ourselves! It's almost like if we share a characteristic it tends to drive us nuts. ;)

Kimberley said...

An epiphany is always cause for celebration!

Yahoo!!!

PeacefulBird said...

I don't mind whine... it's just part of life and part of who we are. If there's anywhere that should be safe for a whine or two, it's right here among understanding friends.

Too little sleep. Yep, a very difficult thing to fix. Oddly difficult, as you said. My problem too. We'll be on a path together, trying to catch it before it's huge, catch it AND fix it. Please share any tips you find along the way... and I will too.

Christina said...

We all really are great resources for one another! "Umm... that suddenly started sounding mighty familiar to me... and the light came on, and my blinders came off." I did get a smile out of that one. I think that's a problem we all have. What are some problems that you do identify and fix when they are small? I know I'm pretty bad about only taking care of problems that need to be fixed immediately.

M Pax said...

Sorry i missed saturday. Whining is all right. We all need to vent now and then. We all need support. I'm glad you found something to help and give you a lifeline out. Now I will go read Saturday.

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