Hi Journal & Friends,
Do you ever have days when you just "feel fat" ?!
Didn't matter how much you had lost, didn't matter what you were wearing, didn't matter how much spackle you plastered on your face to make yourself feel better. You. Just. Feel. Fat.
I felt that way this last Sunday. Honestly, if I hadn't committed to being a Greeter, I'm sure I would've wimped out and hid in my house.
But I went. Thankfully, when I clipped on my name tag, I forgot about "me" and was able to reach out to make people feel welcome. But when we found our seats as the worship music began...again with the "I feel fat" thing. Sigh...
Then...something extraordinary happened. All I can say is... it felt like I had been given a gift. Because I had tried to work on my attitude, my self-talk, all that stuff we love to blog about... all to no avail.
First, let me explain. In our church worship, sometimes the music is slow and reverent and beautiful.
Sometimes it is faster and rejoicing and bursting with gratitude and joy.
Sometimes the violin plays a haunting solo... and sometimes all the instruments burst forth in exhuberance!
Sometimes there are dancers, and sometimes there are banners or silk flags or ribbons, all celebrating in honor of The King of Kings.
The different colors have different meanings. For instance, gold symbolizes the presence of God, majesty, glory of God, and faith.
I had my camera cuz I was going to take a picture of Roxie the service dog, but she didn't come that day. But... I didn't feel it respectful to photograph the worshippers, so the pics here are from the net, to give you an idea of what I'm trying to describe.
And here was the gift to ME: over in the corner was a quiet lady about my age. She was dancing a slow, graceful, beautiful and elegant dance, gently swirling a length of shimmering gold silk fabric. It made me stop in my tracks, and tear up.
She was stunning. Reverent and so graceful...
AND SHE WAS OVERWEIGHT!!!!
But I'm telling you, she was as light on her feet and graceful as any prima ballerina I'd ever seen. And at moment, I felt loved and accepted, just as I was. And I no longer "felt" oh-so-fat.
I felt like that Gift to me was the beginning of the turnaround of my "hard times". It shifted my thinking... opened me to change, and was so encouraging.
From Dr Phil's book: "Slow your thoughts down, and listen attentively."
My verse for today: "I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing the praises of your name, O Most High."
My quote for today: "You have to be pretty stupid to think there isn't a Supreme Being to put all this together. Do you think that man could ever make a heart that is indestructible? Do you think that man could make a calculator like your brain?" --Jack Lalanne
Enjoy the Journey,
Loretta
=^..^=
DAY 530
14 comments:
Yay on your finding inspiration. Sometimes it's amazing how it pops up. Huh?
I'm glad you're enjoying your greeter endeavor and are keeping with it.
He gives us amazing gifts and blessings...just when we need them!
God always comes through--sometimes in the nick of time!
I know exactly what you're talking about. In a less moving way, I had a similar experience the other day. I was watching the new TV show, "Harriet's Law". I don't know if you've seen it yer, but Kathy Bates is Harriet. And she is decidedly NOT thin and NOT young. :D It made me feel so good. Just kind of affirmed, for lack of a better word. It woulld have been so much more moving in church, that's for sure.
God is good.
Deb
I have come to realize that even "skinny"people have fat days. I think it's kind of like a bad hair day, only worse.
I love that God didn't let Satan win the battle. The battle belongs to our Lord! I love how He uses arts in worship to speak directly to the heart.
I agree with the others. Isn't it amazing how God steps in just when you need him too? :) Such a wonderful post, Loretta. I'm glad you found that inspiration again.
Beautiful post, Loretta!!
Hugs,
Mary
It's the little things that we do every day that leave us open to change and the messages that we are meant to receive. A general positive direction is priceless! So glad you had such a beautiful moment. You deserve it.
Inspiration comes in many forms, often unexpected, always timely; the source is universal.
That's beautiful Loretta.
I've4 had the opposite of a 'fat day' today, until I looked in the mirror! ;o)
What a beautiful experience for you to have Loretta.
thats nice. I know alot of people who are just gorgeous and everyone knows it, and they are overweight. I am one of them, ha ha ha! All those skinny jogging girls got nothin on them, and yet why do they feel bad? I dont know. Part is just society I guess and the fact that right now in history, athletic is the look everyone seems to want. Well I dont really want that, I have to say, my roundedness has served me so well in life that its hard to say goodbye to it. Will I be as loved and cherished and thought of as pretty and yet intelligent if I get thin? I guess its possible, but its hard to leap into the unknown.
Anyway thats off track isnt it. The truth is overweight is not unnatractive, and its not a reason to hide, even though we all feel that way sometimes. Ironically, my weight has never kept me out of church, my brain has. I can't get over my childhood and so church can't be a part of my life, but I know you meant this only as an example of your life which does include church, not as anything religious. I get that. But still its ironic to me.
What a beautiful story. I began to dance in church nearly 15 years ago. Something happened. I always wanted to dance, to worship with all that is within me, including my whole body. My singing voice is not too hot so movement compensates. Until that first moment I had felt like a n elephant with feet bolted/weighted to the ground. I know not everyone appreciates seeing a large lady dance but there have been many times when someone has told me they were really blessed or 'moved' by my dance. I have often seen the musicians inspired as I danced. It's an awesome gift but doesn't always come naturally. Like all praise, sometimes it requires a sacrifice, a sacrifice of my negative feelings. Thanks for reminding me how precious it is to dance before the Lord.
Pray for me please. I need a breakthrough on something personal. I'm tired of trying to work it out. It's important.
Thank-you for being the person you are .... wonderful, artistic, sometimes querky, compassionate ... want me to go on.
One day we will meet and delight in each other's company.
Blessings
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