Hi Journal & Friends,
I've been doing a lot of thinking this week. And I must admit, I've been feeling the Long-ness of my journey. It just seems to drag on forever.
For someone with a LOT to lose, the journey IS a long one. I once heard it described this way: it's like crossing the ocean in a small boat.
Folks with less to lose might never have to leave site of a shoreline before they've reached their goal.
For those of us with a lot to lose, we have a longer trip, and must have the stamina to be out there, no shoreline in sight on either side, and stay the course even when the bad weather hits.
And it's a boat built for one. We can get encouraging messages over radio communications... but the trip is a personal one, unique to each person. We must work it out ourself. And sometimes... I just get tired.
Bottomline, the answer is: it's on me. I have to be self-honest, and see where I sailed off course. I have to make the corrections. I have to do the work.
For me, it's not about the food... it's the mental that sets me off. I let all this crap with my hand surgeries become excuses. I get so frustrated about trying to do consistent exercises. And I've let this hand stuff that started back in November of last year to become an excuse.
I gave in to all or nothing thinking and just quit trying to be consistent, for the most part, thinking what's the use of a little here a little there... thinking it wasn't enough to make a difference anyway.
And then I soothed all the frustration with a little extra food here, a little extra there... grazing.
Believe me, the results from grazing is every bit as damaging as a full blown binge!! In fact, I think it's sneakier, cuz you tell yourself "oh, it's not that much". Yeah, right. But over and over, it might as well be a binge!!
Anyway, my whole goal for this year was to be CONSISTENT. Not off to a great start, I'm sorry to report.
Honestly, I didn't even really want to write about it. I am tired of "talking"... I want to be DOING.
Yesterday, I analyzed the "categories" of events that I allowed to push me to graze on food. Not the individual circumstances, but categories. And it boiled down to 3 categories for me, all starting with the word "too":
- Too little sleep
- Too much physical pain
- Too many negative emotions
So I had to ask myself why do I allow it to get "TOO" far before I deal with it????
I need to be proactive, and deal with stuff before it gets TOO far. That's what I'm working on... facing each of these categories, and seeing if I can put a plan in place to stop it from escalating.
You'd think something like "too little sleep" would be easy to fix. You'd think...
It certainly affects both of the other two categories! So, I've been making it a priority. How's that working for you, you ask?? Uh...I'm writing this at 3:52 am. Yep, got a lot of work to do in this area.
From Dr Phil's book: "Have the willingness and courage to throw off your past, go after your weight-control goals, and pursue a life that is defined as healthy and fit."
My verse for today: "I love you O Lord, my strength."
My quote for today: "All of us can be much better than we are." --Jack LaLanne
Enjoy the Journey,