JAN 15 The Big Six Oh

Hi Journal & Friends,

So... it's my Day of Birth. 

I am better (well, other than mindlessy eating all those salted almonds Friday night, and just finally losing track and giving up trying to count calories!!). I've done a lot of soul searching, and listened for the answers to my cry for HELP.

I received the same type of message from 9 different sources! Sheesh... you'd think I was hard-headed or sumpthin! Who, me??

In summary:

-Change my paradigm, how I look at it, my personal truth.  

-Let go of the past. I've learned from it, now it's time to let go of regrets, and look forward.

-Accept what is, what I can't change. But also know that every good choice equals Making It Better... a better future.

-Act, don't react. As part of that, I am no longer putting the DAY number of this journey at the top of my blog. It will now go at the bottom of the post, just for my reference, but not blaring in my face the first thing. I feel better about that now... it is a gift to myself.

-Forgive myself. For real this time. Completely, lovingly, with compassion and understanding. Just like I'd give to someone else who needed it. 

-Remember... remember my dream.

A few days before I gave up sugar and flour in March of 2009, I had a vivid dream. When I woke up, I not only remembered it, I knew what it meant, no doubts. 

In this dream I felt that God was encouraging me that it was not too late for me to change. When I asked "to change what?" I immediately knew that it was not too late to change my thinking. 

That Strength and encouragement were being offered. That I was to choose strength "in spite of". That the double portion of joy offered was mine to choose, to give me strength.

That from now on opposition was an opportunity to get stronger and more determined to succeed.

I suppose over time, I've tended to forget the dream. But it's come back to me, and I'm thankful. You wouldn't think I'd forget something that remarkable to me, would you?! Sigh....

So, that's my choice. To believe the old voices in my head... or to believe the dream. The NEW paradigm that says I Can Do Hard Things (I saw that on Chris's blog, and really like it!).

I choose to look forward, to let go of the past and the "what might have beens".

This has not come easy... it's been a wrestle, a breaking. But I finally feel some peace now.

I watched Star Trek, The Undiscovered Country last night, and realized for the first time where they got the title from for the movie. A character in the movie referred to the FUTURE as The Undiscovered Country. And at the end of the movie, when they were deciding what to do and Chekhov asked Captain Kirk what their heading was... Captain Kirk answered: 

"Second star to the right... and straight on til morning."

And they were off to another grand adventure. That is what I am choosing. To look forward, not back. To look for my grand adventure. I don't know just what that means yet... 

From Dr Phil's book: "What is true about you in your mind, you will live."

My verse for today: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

My quote for today: "The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating." --John Schaar

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta

=^..^=

DAY 520