Saturday, January 15, 2011

JAN 15 The Big Six Oh

Hi Journal & Friends,

So... it's my Day of Birth. 

I am better (well, other than mindlessy eating all those salted almonds Friday night, and just finally losing track and giving up trying to count calories!!). I've done a lot of soul searching, and listened for the answers to my cry for HELP.

I received the same type of message from 9 different sources! Sheesh... you'd think I was hard-headed or sumpthin! Who, me??

In summary:

-Change my paradigm, how I look at it, my personal truth.  

-Let go of the past. I've learned from it, now it's time to let go of regrets, and look forward.

-Accept what is, what I can't change. But also know that every good choice equals Making It Better... a better future.

-Act, don't react. As part of that, I am no longer putting the DAY number of this journey at the top of my blog. It will now go at the bottom of the post, just for my reference, but not blaring in my face the first thing. I feel better about that now... it is a gift to myself.

-Forgive myself. For real this time. Completely, lovingly, with compassion and understanding. Just like I'd give to someone else who needed it. 

-Remember... remember my dream.

A few days before I gave up sugar and flour in March of 2009, I had a vivid dream. When I woke up, I not only remembered it, I knew what it meant, no doubts. 

In this dream I felt that God was encouraging me that it was not too late for me to change. When I asked "to change what?" I immediately knew that it was not too late to change my thinking. 

That Strength and encouragement were being offered. That I was to choose strength "in spite of". That the double portion of joy offered was mine to choose, to give me strength.

That from now on opposition was an opportunity to get stronger and more determined to succeed.


I suppose over time, I've tended to forget the dream. But it's come back to me, and I'm thankful. You wouldn't think I'd forget something that remarkable to me, would you?! Sigh....

So, that's my choice. To believe the old voices in my head... or to believe the dream. The NEW paradigm that says I Can Do Hard Things (I saw that on Chris's blog, and really like it!).

I choose to look forward, to let go of the past and the "what might have beens".

This has not come easy... it's been a wrestle, a breaking. But I finally feel some peace now.

I watched Star Trek, The Undiscovered Country last night, and realized for the first time where they got the title from for the movie. A character in the movie referred to the FUTURE as The Undiscovered Country. And at the end of the movie, when they were deciding what to do and Chekhov asked Captain Kirk what their heading was... Captain Kirk answered: 

"Second star to the right... and straight on til morning."

And they were off to another grand adventure. That is what I am choosing. To look forward, not back. To look for my grand adventure. I don't know just what that means yet... 

From Dr Phil's book: "What is true about you in your mind, you will live."

My verse for today: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

My quote for today: "The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating." --John Schaar

Enjoy the Journey,


DAY 520


Jules - Big Girl Bombshell said...

Happy Happy Happy (plus 57 more!) birthday to you my friend! and here's to MANY GRAND adventures and dreams...YOU deserve!

Anonymous said...

Wahoo, you! Happy birthday!!!

Choosing health,

Your younger friend.


MizFit said...

See? I usually don't blog read till pm on wkends!

Thanks to the fab Jules for letting me know today is your day.



Sandy said...

Happy Birthday Loretta! I was so thrilled to read this post ... I'm so very happy that you've decided to move forward and let go of the past. It's way easier said than done ... but hey 60 is the new 40 so you've got LOADS of time to make changes and enjoy a fabulously fit life.
Just don't ever lose faith in your ability to do this ... and know that I will always be around if you need someone to listen to you.
Here's to many, many, many more birthdays .... :)


spunkysuzi said...

Happy Birthday!! It's never to late to decide to take care of ourselves.

Ms. PJ Geek said...

Happy birthday!!

R. Reed said...

Happy Birthday :) I truly is never too late, you are so right.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, Loretta! I hope you have a fabulous day! :)

Deb (Smoothie Girl Eats Too) said...

Happy birthday! YOu're doing so great! You should be very proud- have a wonderful day. And can I borrow that hat for my cat? ;-)

The Merry said...

Happy Day! :)

Anonymous said...

Happy, happy birthday to a dear sweet lady who is beautiful inside and out. Love your Body - Forgive Yourself xox.

Patsy said...

Happy Birthday! :o) Those salted nuts are SO moreish! I don't dare start on them because I can't finish until they're all gone... :o(

oh_mg said...

Happy birthday Loretta!!! ♥

Anne H said...

Happy Birthday to you!
And many many happy more!

Karen Elizabeth Brown said...

Captain Kirk borrowed that saying from Peter Pan, I believe, where the children were looking for Never Never Land (is that what it was called? It's been a long time since I saw the movie). Interestingly enough, it was where you never grew up, but stayed youthful. What a great attitude! To think about the future with a child's eye... full of wonderment and curiosity. It was also where they had to fight Captain Hook. We all have our Captain Hook's, the things that weigh us down and keep us from reaching our goals. But they succeeded and you will too. The first step is forgiving yourself and you have done that. On to the journey! How exciting!
Happy Birthday, Loretta!

Rettakat said...

Thank you, Everyone!

60 is the new 40... I Love that, Sandy!

Ha ha, yes, Karen, you are looking at it exactly how I did! Peter Pan, and adventures, and always staying young in Mind. I hadn't connected the Captain Hook part, but you are so right, perfect analogy.

Well, I'm off to my grand adventure today. We are going for a winter drive, and I told Jim to surprise me!


'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

How wonderful for you, Loretta. Enjoy your special day! Letting go is such a gift in so many ways. Lets hold hands and dive in together, you can let go of the past while I let go of being responsible for how others lives turn out...

Tena said...

Happy Birthday, Loretta! I hope you have a wonderful day. Today is my birthday, too! I'm 54 on the outside and much younger on the inside :)

This post was good for me today. Thanks for putting it out there. Here's to looking forward!

midlife_swimmer said...

happy birthday woman!!!!!!

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

Happy Happy Birthday Loretta!!!
I hope your undiscovered country is fabulous!! :)


Christine said...

Happy Birthday Loretta. I can do hard things. I got that from someone else's blog who had lost their baby daughter. I liked it to because it sums up life nicely. Here's to your grand adventure, whatever it may be.

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