Hello Journal & Friends,
If you weren't blessed with the Cat gene, and the topic bores you, I understand, so please feel free to catch me next time. :-)
MyGuy and I took Dusty to the vet today. It was not good news. She has cancer, and is not feeling well. We love her enough to let her go, and not suffer. The vet was so patient and gentle with her... she is easy to love, she is sweet and gentle herself. We will see how she does... we might have two more days with her, or two weeks. She will let us know.
These were some of my dear fur-babies over the years.
You would think it would get easier, in time, to say good-bye. But I invest my heart every single time we bring a new little creature home to become a part of our family.
They become a part of my daily life. A small innocent being, trusting me to care and love them. Giving me so much in return.
It is sooo hard to accept that it is soon to be Dusty's time to depart. She is a gentle spirit... quiet, sweet natured. A little grumpy in her old age. But even then, grumpy in a quiet way. Even her meow is quiet.
She is 16 now. She can't keep her food or water down... sometimes several times a day she loses it. I've tried to explain to her how I prefer that she does this on the kitchen floor not the carpet... she shrugs and smoothly glides away nonchalantly, on silent kitty feet.
She sleeps on my bed during the day, and in her special soft kitty bed at night. She will eat her supplements if I let her lick them from my fingertip.
She loves to be cuddled, and her favorite thing is to sit in the window and watch the hummers come to the feeder. We have little stairsteps around the house... she is too old and weak now to jump up without help.
She is Queen. What Dusty wants now, Dusty gets. She has brought so much joy into my life, that I am glad to do all I can to see that her last days are quiet and full of purrs.
But it is still sooo hard to let her go.... I will need her to let me know when... when it is time to take her in for help in the crossing, before it gets too painful for her. But I will be there, looking into her face, loving her, letting her know she is not alone. It's a hard thing to do.. but I will do it for her.
It is hard to accept that our time together is almost over.
I cannot change the way of things... this is natural and as it was meant to be. I am trying to accept that, and be thankful that I was given 16 years to travel through life with Dusty.
Nope... this has nothing to do with weight loss. This life. This is my heart crying. Butterfly, who is only 5 years old, comes and looks at me, and asks what is wrong??