Hi Journal & Friends,
I am so frustrated today, I could chew nails!
Sorry, this is not going to sound all chirpy happy happy... I just haven't been able to muster that up yet. And since I committed to being honest...
I recently switched to monthly weigh-ins, thinking it would be more encouraging. Well.... Phhhttttt... yeah, right. Today is March 1st. My weigh-in was 357. That is UP 6 pounds from last month. I don't know if I want to cry or pound the wall in anger.
I DO know I feel like a phony... hypocrite... fraud...pretender... sham... fake...
I feel like I SAY one thing, and do another. Yet, factually, that's not true.
Okay, I've decided. I think I will cry.
I don't get it. I just don't get it. I try so hard... I exercise. I stay within my calorie budget. I say no to myself when I dearly want to wallow in the food. And what do I get in return???
If anyone writes a comment to tell me to be patient, there is all the time in the world, I will scream.
That may be true for those of you younger. I am not a spring chicken... I want this fat OFF. I NEED this fat off. I want to have less physical pain. I want to be able to walk around. I want to GO places, DO things. I want my freedom.
And maybe I feel a little scared, too. I am DOING the right things... and yet, not seeing the results. Why?????????
Back to square one. I guess I will go over my program again... later, when I am feeling more energy. I will never quit. I will figure this out... later.
From Dr Phil's book: "Take a problem-solving approach to emotion-provoking events."
My verse for today: "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope."
My quote for today: "I know what I've got to do. I've got to keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will come up... and you never know what the tide might bring in." --Tom Hanks, from the movie Cast Away.
Enjoying the Journey--not today,