Good Afternoon Journal,
MyGuy is off work today...it's 4:30pm and I am still in my jammies... Good griefus! He is off to do some shopping, so I finally get computer time. :-)
Today, as I bounced from task to task, I realized--AGAIN-- that I need a workable plan that I can consistently follow on his days off.
I do BETTER following a routine...sleep is better, food is better, exercise is better...chores get done...EVERYTHING goes better. And on his work days, when I am free to follow my routine, *I* do better. I feel better ABOUT myself, feel more productive and happy...feel like I am progressing towards my goals. I am one of those weird ones that loves crossing stuff off from my to-do list, and awarding myself little stars or smilie faces!
But, about 2 days per week, hubby is off, and here, and out the window goes my schedule. He has had rotating days off for the last 27 years...and sometimes, with last minute notice, it changes. Out the window goes my plans, routines.
One problem is that he is dyslexic...hard to read, hard to write. He CAN, but he prefers not to. He jokingly refers to me as his "sexetary". Kinda cute, when I am in a good mood.
As an aside, I love the book of Proverbs, in the Bible. And one verse I chose years ago to live by is this:
"Her husband has full confidence in her, and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."
Because it's a lot of work for him to read, he doesn't read my blog. I could say anything I wanted about him and he would never know. Mwahahahaha....
But, seriously, I am loyal to him, and even when I get ticked at him, I would never trash him for the world to read. "Ticked" comes and goes...Love is forever. I have seen blogs where the wife verbally drags the man she has pledged to love through the mud, and I almost cried for them.
It made me even more determined to be the kind of person his heart could trust. He is not perfect...but he really is a good guy!
Back to the topic! When MyGuy is here, I am sort of the "go to" person in the house. Anything needing reading, writing, phone calls, bills, letters, emails, where is this, where is that, what's for lunch? what's for dinner? Sounds like a momma! I don't mean it to sound that way...it's just a special situation, and it's sort of worked for a long time.
Until *I* went and decided to change! Now, I am trying to learn CONSISTENCY. And part of that means not getting all behind 2 days a week by letting my routines go out the window, then playing catch up the next two days. By the time I am feeling in the groove...he is off work again! Ack!
So, I am humbling myself to ask for ideas, opinions, suggestions. This is embarrassing, something that is probably so simple for most people, yet I struggle with it so much. I love order, thrive on routine. And in the end, by following a routine, it gives me even more free time, and I get to work on my art, which is deeply meaningful and important to me...something I feel I was meant to do.
I have tried to be honest, and see if I am making excuses. If that is the case, then it's a blind spot...I don't see it. I have tried to talk with Jim...and he is totally NOT a routine person...he cares, but he doesn't get it. HE thrives on flexibility, spontaneity, the "last minute rush". And he is great at his job because of that! Go figure.
Do I need an attitude adjustment? A check-up from the neck-up? A different perspective? A better plan? The same plan, but more consistently executed? Stop making excuses? Am I just afraid to rock the boat, that MyGuy would get ticked at ME?
I will find a solution...I am open to correction, or suggestions, or ideas. Surely someone has experienced a similar situation, and come up with a great idea to make it work.
From Dr Phil's book: "Use it or lose it."
My verse for today: "Happy are the people whose God is the Lord."
My quote for today: "To fly, we have to have resistance."--Maya Lin
Enjoy the Journey,