Hello Journal!
Last night was the Awards Banquet, and it was sooo much fun!! We spent a lot of time getting ready, putting on our costumes, glueing on his mustache, draping on necklaces and bracelets and macrame belts and flowers in my hair...etc etc etc.
The weird thing was...the closer it came time to go, the more nervous I got. I felt silly...was asking if he was SURE others were coming in costume...wanted to know if he thought I looked okay. What was wrong with me??? Why was I being so...insecure??
Then it hit me...I was flashing on another time, about 37 years ago, when I spent hours getting all dolled up for New Year's Eve. I had just had a short haircut, and had fussed with curling it for hours...got all "painted" and gussied up in a new dress. I still remember that dress: silky long caftan in a gorgeous bright flower print. We finally arrived that night at a dance club, and as we walked in the door, we passed two men standing there. Right as I walked past them, one said loudly to the other, "Oh look, a moo cow!" I buried my feelings til I got home later...and then cried myself to sleep.
So NOW I was trying not to imagine some mean person saying, "Oh look, an old fat hippie!"
I admitted to Jim how I was flashing on that memory, and he was so sweet...he said he thought I looked nice, and the flowers in my hair made me look young (he gets the Best Husband Award for that comment!). Right then and there, I DECIDED to expect to have a good time. This was Jim's night to receive a recognition pin, and I didn't want to ruin it by being self-absorbed.
We will often find what we look for...so I decided to look for friendly faces...for a good time...for a wonderful evening, and to NOT be disappointed.
Well, I had a GREAT time, it WAS a wonderful evening, and the only way it could have gotten better was if I had been successful in talking Jim into dancing with me when the DJ played 60's music....I mean, come on...he was playing "Brown Eyed Girl"!!
The music was fun, vintage 60's...the catered dinner was delicious...our tablemates friendly...the evening a whopping success! I'm glad my Good Choice Muscle was warmed up yesterday...tonite was a breeze. :-)
This evening will go onto My List...it is the first time I have ever gone with Jim to a company banquet in the 20 years he has worked there. What changed? Me. I want to live deliberately... fully... thankfully... with joy... and I am finally willing to do whatever it takes to get my life back!
Me at our table next to the bouquet they gave Jim.
Jim in his groovy get-up...minus the John Lennon shades (the room was
too dark to keep them on).
Up high on two huge screens they played the Woodstock
film all evening.
The decorations were very colorful and fun.
Lots of costumes, and bright decorations on stage
and hanging all over.
Lots of colorful flower power!
This guy won Best Costume for
a man...it was those wild bellbottoms!
Our table...we got to take home to our kitties the table
decoration: a pot of "grass" LOL!
The DJ starting up the dance music.
From Dr Phil's book: "Require more of yourself."
My verse for today: "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!
My quote for today: "Enjoy this meandering and amazing journey called life."
Enjoy the Journey,
Loretta
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11 comments:
Oh, I just cringe to read what happened to you 37 years ago. I hate that those things seem to stay with us, too. It seems impossible to leave them in the past. But we try. If at all possible, I avoid my husband's company events. A lot of it is because I am simply a socially anxious person, but a lot of it is also because I don't want people to think less of my husband because of my size. I don't think I'm at all unusual to think that way, but it's really sad. Note that I say I don't want people to think less of him; I'm really not worried about embarrassing him, he's just not that kind of guy.
I'm a loud-mouth. If someone said that to me -- I'd have turned and said, 'Yes, and too bad you don't have the b*lls to be a stud Bull.'
You're looking great! Don't look back! Forward, and ever onward, friend!
Not only did you make memories for you and your Guy, you allowed youself to get in front of the camera for us so we could share in your fun. That's growth!
Those were great constumes! I hardly recognized your hubby. Your costumes looked authentic 60's.
Thanks for sharing your night with us. I know there will be many more!
{{{Loretta}}}} that is a big hippie hug! I am so glad you went and took pictures!!
I wish I could kick that rude guy in his knee for making that comment (even if it was years ago)!! People are so mean and ignorant and not ashamed to show it.
Wayne and I dressed as hippies a couple of years ago. Such fun. I love your outfit and the flowers. Jim looks so laid back.
YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL! I am so happy that you went and that you had a good time. You have some great pictures to help you remember the event.
When I think about the moo cow comment, I keep imagining my fist meeting that jackhole's nose and crushing it. Tolerating people like him is so difficult.
Keep the Loretta pictures coming!
Retta you look great! And Jim was right, the flowers are a good touch, they make you more vibrant thank you already are!
Congrats on your bravery!
Love love love the costumes! You look fantastic!
Sorry about your previous bad experience, I have plenty of those too, in regular clothes and in special clothes. We have to just let those fall behind us or we will never feel good.
I'm glad you "expected" to have a good time, cause see, you did have a good time! Hurray!
BETH: You are right about leaving those memories in the past...and I thought I had. But I guess this had too many similarities, and triggered that memory. I know what you mean about avoiding company events and why...I wrote about that here in depth on Day 47: http://tinyurl.com/yg4tqrh
GEORGIA MIST: That cracked me up! Those guys wouldn't have stood a chance if you had been there! Yes, FORWARD!
KAREN: Until I read your comment, I didn't even think of how NOW I actually WANTED to have my picture taken!!! Shocker! And I agree, there will be many more. :-)
MISSY M: I loved your "hippie hug", thank you! I hereby induct you into my Gang, and you, me, GeorgiaMist and CinciMom11 will put those mean guys in their place...ROFL!!
CINCIMOM11: Aww, thank you! You know, I think I will make a label called New Adventures, just for all the new things I will be doing. And you are right, having the photos will help me remember, and will help on the "hard" days, too.
SCARLET SIMPLE: Thanks, Ruby! I actually started out pretty nervous, not feeling very brave at all! But it turned out such fun...now I want more!
Loretta
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Hi Nancy,
Yep...just when I thought I had let go of those kinds of experiences, something like this happens to let me see I still have some "weeds" to pull from the garden of my mind!
It was amazing...the minute I changed my thinking, and decided to expect to have a great evening...everything changed and the stress left, and we relaxed and had a fabulous, groooovy time! LOL!
Loretta
Oh wow! Can I relate to those feelings. Too short to share here, but I understand completely. Thanks so much for opening up with us. What an inspiration you are. So glad you had a great time. Much better than worrying about what idiots think.
Lisa
Thanks, Lisa. Yeah, we tend to worry about what others think of us...and the funny part is, they rarely ARE thinking of us! ha ha ha.
Loretta
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