Monday, October 12, 2009

DAY 64 Feeling Spunky & The Missing Before Pic!

Day 64 of ReStart,  Monday  Oct 12, 09

Hello Journal,

Today is a New day! I am ready to continue this journey, refreshed and feeling spunky!

Monday is my regular weigh-in day: 369 I re-lost that one pound gain from last week. Considering my 4 days of eating too much, I'll take it! As my Dad used to's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick! (good grief, where did these old sayings come from?!?!)

And in keeping with pokes in the eye...after WEEKS of searching, I finally found...drumroll....a BEFORE picture of me at nearly my highest weight, which was 460. This photo was around 450ish.

And I was not mugging for the camera...I really was annoyed that my husband was pointing that THING at me!! That is why it has been so hard to find a before pic...I avoided cameras like the plague. Who, at 460 pounds, wants to see themselves in a photograph??!  It is just a painful reminder... humiliating... embarrassing ...perpetuating the self-loathing, etc etc etc.

For comparison, I have include photos since then...I hope there is a noticable difference... it is hard for me to see it!

But NOW, I can post this thing, KNOWING I will never be at that painful place again. 

It has been a long and winding road for me...I will never win the "quickest weight loss award"... maybe the Yo-Yo Queen Award. BUT, my message for anyone struggling is...NEVER NEVER NEVER QUIT...Don't you dare quit!! Some of us have a lot to learn...a lot of issues...a lot to surrender...a lot of healing, and most of all, a lot of excuses!!

Today, however, I have hope. I have determination. I am on a journey to get my life back, and get out of my way, obstacles, or I'll run ya down!!

From Dr Phil's book: "Successful people do what unsuccessful people won' don't have to like them; you just have to do them."

My verse for today: "The end of a matter is better than it's beginning..."

My quote for today:  "When faced with a mountain, I will not quit! I will keep striving until I climb over, find a pass through, tunnel underneath or simply stay and turn the mountain into a gold mine, with God's help."--Robert Half

Enjoy the Journey,



antgirl said...

I see a noticeable difference. There is hope and light in your eyes. Passion. Like you are looking forward to things to come. Fantastic. You're face is also noticeably thinner.

Thank you for sharing. It's so inspiring to see how well you're doing. Really, really fantastic. You go, Loretta!

Retta said...

I appreciate your take on it...I guess I just can't see it yet. I FEEL different, inside, but not outside yet. But it will come, it will come. I plan to take photos every 50 pounds or so, and I am sure in time even *I* will see it.

Thank you...but now go rest that arm!! Maybe you need some more alternative "therapy"...LOL!

Georgia Mist said...

Ah, the difference is amazing! You look lovely! Your weight loss is also amazing -- I am so proud of your accomplishments!

Anonymous said...

the difference is totally noticeable! You do look spunkier and happier and thinner in your last picture. Oh and YOUNGER!! I like your hair longer too. You look fabulous!

Scarlet Simple said...

There is a difference! You look younger and more vibrant, and so so much happier! Its amazing what having hope does to our physical appearance.

I am proud of you and cheering you on from over here in Baltimore!

Unknown said...

Loretta, you may not see a difference, but it's very noticeable to the rest of us! You look marvelous!

I love your positive attitude!

You are doing an amazing job! You are a great inspiration to me! Way to go!

MissyM said...

OH yeah, there is a big difference. Your face is so much thinner. I like your longer hair, but I love that short sassy do. I am so happy for you.

Retta said...

To Mary, GeorgiaMist, Nancy, ScarletSimple, Debbie and MissyM,

Wow, thank you so much. Well, now I am sure it must be my faulty perception...if you all see the same thing! So I will work on seeing myself accurately, how I REALLY am...not pretend I am skinny, nor insist I am still the same as before.

I even had my hubby look at them, and tell me if you all were just being nice!! How bad is that??!!! He said you were right. :-)

You all have helped me in this...thank you!

financecupcake said...

Girl, you are rocking the long hair!!! The difference is totally noticeable.

Molly Higgs said...

OMG you can so tell the difference!! That's an amazing difference and you look so happy now. Your eyes are just alive!

Retta said...

Hi Molly and CinciMom11,
Thank you so much for your comments, I REALLY appreciate them!

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