Good Afternoon Journal,
I checked in with Me yesterday, and have to admit that I was feeling bogged down, stuck, like in quicksand or thick mud... and like time has stopped. I don't feel depressed or down, but not UP, either.
But these are conditions of my own making...just like I make my own "weather" each day, for the most part I created my "environment" by my choices, and at the end of the week, on weigh-in day, it averages out in a tangible way...on the scale. This week I lost 1 pound, putting me at 368. For someone my size, that is okay once in while...but not two weeks in a row. I can do better.
Even though right now the results are not acceptable to me, I still appreciate the reality check. Without an objective way to "observe" my behavior, I might fool myself into thinking it was better than it actually was...because I "felt" like I was doing okay!
I have become too comfortable...been playing too close to the cliff edge. And if I don't clean up my act, I might fall right over that cliff! No excuses.... I can do better.
As I think about it...I don't want OKAY result...I want GREAT results. Life is too short...I am too large...I am not a spring chicken any longer...I will not accept piddling results!! And the only one that can change that is ME.
I visited Sheryl's blog, B*tch Cakes. What I read (here) was thought-provoking, and I appreciated it very much... just the kick in the pants I needed. By the way, I told MyGuy that when I reach my goal weight, I was getting a tattoo...he had a cow! LOL! You'd think I was getting a skull n crossbones! I was thinking of a little butterfly to signify my new life...or...still not certain, but I have lots of time to play with it.
(click pics to enlarge)
Anyway, focus, Loretta, focus! Okay, I need to get more CONSISTENT. That is the only thing that comes to mind as I think on this...consistency.
I like to look words up the dictionary. When I want to mull over a word or concept, I like to look at it from different angles...it seems to help me.
Today I looked up CONSISTENT:
unchanging in achievement or effect over a period of time
compatible or in agreement with something
not containing any logical contradictions
constant
regular
uniform
steady
stable
unchanging
undeviating
unfluctuating
dependable
reliable
predictable
So this is my new focus...to BE those words listed above. To make the daily choices that will yield GREAT results, not just "okay" results. I can do better...I just know it. Let me re-phrase that:
I WILL do better!
From Dr Phil's book: "Your food plan sustains your commitment in the absence of emotional energy."
7 comments:
Thank you for your honesty today. I'm emotionally drained today from circumstances that I let get the better of me. But having the reminder that even now I need consistency is vital to my goals. It's time to stop letting the universe control me and start being in control.
Don't downplay any ground you gain. A pound is a pound. A victory is a victory. Don't fall into the trap of always wanting more. Learn to enjoy what was given right now. When I did that is when I found my true power. :) You're doing great!
I love that you focus on definitions!
Those tatts are cute! Dragonflies are symbols of change, so keep that in mind, too.
Antgirl is right - a pound is a pound, and it's a loss! Big hugs :)
KAREN: I'm glad it helped you! I hope you get your Spunk back soon. :-)
MARY: I can see what you are saying, and it's true. At the same time, I can think of all the little choices I made last week that were just "okay ", or even borderline questionable. So, if I am being honest with myself, that is why I have to say I could have done better. But yes, I agree that I need to be thankful for ANY loss, too! It's definitely better than a gain!
CINCIMOM11: Thank you for your encouraging words. And I didn't know that about dragonflies..and they are so shimmery and pretty. I'll check that out, too. Thanks!
Loretta
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I was out last week - out of work, out of blogland and I think I even checked out of life a few times. I had the flu and it kicked my tail. I am SOOOO with you on the consistency key. Last week I didn't even think, okay I thought about my fatness but I didn't do much about it and this week I am struggling to gain back some control.
Thank you for your journal entry, it has helped me and enlightened me. I to want greatness!
A tattoo sounds like fun!
LOL about the tattoo! I think a butterfly would be cute. I myself could not stand the pain! I am a sort of pain free kind of gal, ha ha
I agree with you 100% here today, I also have been feeling blah, and dont want ok results but great ones.
{ALL}: I am sorry to hear you were sick...I did wonder where you were and if you were okay. I'm glad you are better!
NANCY: I love the second tattoo design. I have never had one yet, so I might turn out to be a big sissy too! We'll see. :-)
Loretta
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