Hi there Journal & Friends,
Feeling tired here, but better.
Thank you for all your kind well wishes.
It's been a challenge lately to find uninterrupted time to myself, and I'm sorry I haven't been too supportive lately by visiting and commenting. But thanks to a friend, I have finally realized why I've been having such a hard time lately.
I have been like a battery that hasn't been fully recharged... low on energy, low on ability to focus, low on inspiration. It's been WORK to be positive. WORK to be cheerful and smile.
Why? Because I am one of those people that enjoy my solitude. I enjoy it, and get my "recharge" when alone. I feel refreshed when I can spend time thinking, praying, reading, just unwinding by myself. Solitude is an absolute MUST for creativity, for my art.
And until my friend explained how a lack of that alone time affected her, I hadn't even connected the dots that for WEEKS now my sweet Jim has been off work.
Sure, he goes for errands and such. But it's no set time, I never know the comings and goings, there is no routine... and almost without exception if I am trying to write a thoughtful post, I can guarantee if he is in this house, I WILL get interrupted. And I'll admit, that too often I have bitten his head off for it lately. :-(
I like order. I like routine. I am like a train. He is like a taxi cab.
A train may be slow to start, but once going, it has a full head of steam and chugs along with purpose to a destination. It can't start and stop on a dime, like a... taxi cab.
My Sweetie is a taxi cab. Full of starts and stops... in and out, up and down, interruptions are interesting for him. My opposite!
My friend also helped me see there is nothing WRONG with me. This is not a character defect in me, enjoying my solitude, NEEDING it. That I am not being selfish, it is the way I am. Honestly, that was a revelation!
In a way, I'm glad to have had this come to a head BEFORE he went back to work. I learned some valuable stuff about myself. I was feeling all this extra stress, but couldn't figure out WHY.
Now I know why.
I was struggling to focus... now I know why.
I was getting more and more irritated with him... now I know why.
I kept "waiting" to get my act together... now I know why.
I was slipping into old habits, starting to reach for the food... now I know why.
The reason I am doing a lot of sitting and thinking and writing right now...is that MyGuy is asleep! LOL!
Now that I know what's been bugging me, I am hoping to work on a solution. One that will be a win/win solution. I can still have my time alone, yet my Sweetie won't feel neglected or ignored. And I won't have to stay up til all weird hours just to get my batteries recharged!
Today's Peek at the Past (Oh. My. Goodness!! I simply cannot believe what I just read. No way! This post from last year is about EXACTLY the problem I just wrote about... finding time for my routines when MyGuy is around!!! Eeky freaky!)
From Day 79, October 27, 2009:
MyGuy is off work today...it's 4:30pm and I am still in my jammies... Good griefus! He is off to do some shopping, so I finally get computer time. :-)
Today, as I bounced from task to task, I realized--AGAIN-- that I need a workable plan that I can consistently follow on his days off.
I do BETTER following a routine...sleep is better, food is better, exercise is better...chores get done... EVERYTHING goes better. And on his work days, when I am free to follow my routine, *I* do better. I feel better ABOUT myself, feel more productive and happy...
(For complete post "In My Jammies & Lookin' for Ideas" click HERE)
From Dr Phil's book: "When you kill time, remember you can't resurrect it."
My verse for today: "The joy of the Lord is our strength."
My quote for today: "It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it." --John Steinbeck
Enjoy the Journey,