Sunday, August 8, 2010

DAY 364 Day of Rest... YES!

Hi Journal & Friends,


I am sooo happy the Yard Sale is over. And so glad we did it! It is strange, but I feel lighter, less cluttered. And like we accomplished a good thing.

It was a resounding success! We ended up with a profit of $360!! Normally Jim and I are oh-so "responsible" and would just put the money towards the budget. Well guess what? This time, since yesterday was my sweeties birthday, we decided to spend it all, LOL! Such wild, careless abandon, oh dear!  ;-)

He is getting camera equipment, and I get my art supplies. Just for the fun of it.

I took Jim out to dinner for his birthday last night. Yes, I was exhausted. But he was really looking forward to rib night at the local buffet joint. So I decided to be cheerful company, and that would be part of my birthday present to him. Amazing what we can do when we make up our minds, huh?!

And I ended up enjoying myself, too. I LOVE going there... now. 

Now I am a picky eater. A tablespoon of this, a bite of that. Only taking what I really want.

Now I am no longer ashamed to have people peeking to see what the "fat lady" has piled onto her plate. Because my plate has a dinky serving. 

Now I can relax, and not worry what "they" think of me. I am proud of myself... I know my "history", even if they don't. 

I totally enjoyed people watching last night, even as they watched me. 

And they did. There was a "super sized" couple right next to us. He was very tall, and had to be over 500, at a minimum. She looked like I did when I started, so I guessed around 450. 

I tried to smile and be friendly, but she was embarrassed that I caught her watching me. 

She tried to laugh and talk some with her man, but little things told me she was probably uncomfortable in that public setting. Like her awkward way of fitting onto the little chair, squirming to try to get comfortable... twisting the napkin in her hands, her jiggling foot... You know, the things that show someone is not  relaxed. Just like I used to be in a public setting, where I felt exposed and judged, a target.

Thing was, she kept watching me. Peeking at my two plates... the salad plate, then the hot dish plate. Then for dessert, I had sugarfree apple pie, no ice cream on top.

It was a marked contrast to their plates, which were many and heaped, LIKE I USED TO EAT. I felt such compassion for them. I wished I could help, offer encouragement, hope, a way out. 

But you just can't do that to a stranger, not unless they give you an opening and show interest. All I could was smile at her, and try to convey the feeling that I understood and was not judging her. I used to BE her.

There was more... the  normal sized couple that were obviously watching all the fat people walk past with heaped plates, and they would look at each other, whisper and giggle. 

It's funny... that didn't even bother me now. I didn't feel defensive because I knew what my life was, and what I was doing to make it better.

People are people. Some are nice, some are not. They obviously didn't have a clue as to the struggle.
In all, it was a fascinating evening. We drove to a pretty park after dinner, and chatted. And just KNEW there was a mistake in our math...we couldn't be this old! Ha ha ha ha!

Enjoy the Journey,



cmoursler said...

ah loretta,
yes, people will judge. you know, I used to be on the other end of that stick. It was getting to the point that I didn't even like going out.
I am glad you were able to smile at her and make some eye contact.
I am glad you got your art supplies, how cool are those. I looked them up. water soluble.
very neat.
Have fun.

Anonymous said...

:D Woohooo for "found money"! so glad you allowed yourselves to celebrate your hard work! :D

Loved your recounting of the buffet experience, too. :) Thanks, Loretta, you're a good friend.


anne h said...

You are a kind soul.
Have fun creating!

Christina said...

Spending the money sounds like a good choice! I'm glad you two enjoyed the hubby's birthday! Hooray for you for braving the buffet. Reading about your buffet experience was really interesting. The dynamics at a buffet are always wild. I am so sorry to hear about the giggling couple. A-holes. :( Hearing about the compassion you felt for the larger woman makes up for the whispering and giggling butts. I am amazed by you, Retta. I'm curious: What were the normal-sized butts eating? Did they have heaping plates or dinky portions? If they piled their plates high, I will laugh.

Rettakat said...

Get ready to laugh, Christina... they had plates piled high!!

Sheilagh said...

Love that you spent the money:)


Ms. PJ Geek said...

I'm glad you spent the money. We have to treat ourselves.

I'm observant just like you about what goes on when the big folk go out to eat (meaning me). Isn't it funny that when you go out to eat or to a buffet and even get the little amounts of this and that and the sugar free desserts, that you still get full. Makes me wonder how I held so much before.

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

Yay!! That is great you made that much money on your yard sale! We are going to have one next week.

I know what you mean about seeing people eat the way you used to. I see people like that too and my heart goes out to them. I never want to feel that way again, or have anyone else feel that way.


Baby Stepping said...

I love that you smiled at the couple. I hope that made more of an impression than the other jerks. Everyone is fighting some kind of battle, unfortunately for some of us, the wages of the war are more visible than for others.

Joy said...

Great job on the garage sale! I am glad you had fun with the money. Bills will always be there!

Feel so sad for the couple.


Anonymous said...

Congratulations on a successful sale and woohoo to all that money! Glad you were able to spend it on something you and your husband enjoy.

Happy Birthday to Jim!!! He sounds like such a wonderful man.

I am glad you enjoyed your dinner out.

M Pax said...

Yay on the yard sale being a success.

Wow! What an impressive turn in the road for you. Hurray! You are so on your way - getting over what people might think and having control and being happy about it.

A big woot and a few more on your victories. Honest. Yaaay!

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