Hello Journal & Friends,
I feel like I have never learned how to be a good friend. In real life, after my husband, my sister is my only real friend here.
I think part of it is the fear that if you really knew me, you would not like me.
I have met many very nice people in Bloggerland. A couple of them are fellow Oregonians. I have this nagging fear that someday they might come to my hometown and want to meet in person... and be disappointed when they met the "real" me. I know a lot of this has to do with a lifetime of being overweight, and experiencing people's reactions when they first met me in person.
You can't know how much it means to me to have found such warm and accepting people in Blogland! Offering support, encouragement, ideas, corrections, opinions, and most of all friendship. I know it's not the same as in "real life", but it feels real to ME. As someone said recently: at the other end of each blog and computer, is a real live person.
To acknowledge all this, and to embrace those friendships without fear, I want to change the way I open each post. I know it sounds petty and insignificant, but it's symbolic to me. When first I started blogging, I opened each post with a version of Hello Journal... I didn't know anyone, and I was really just talking to myself. Now I feel so blessed with people I have gotten to know and care about... I want to acknowlege that by opening with Hello Journal & Friends.
A minor thing to most people... but it feels risky to me... it feels like I am opening up myself to rejection. But isn't that what life is all about? Taking risks, being willing to step out in faith, to dare greatly??
From Dr Phil's book: "It is you who must create the life you want. And the choice is yours to make."
My verse for today: "...His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."
My quote for today: "Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty."--Sicilian proverb
Enjoy the Journey,
Loretta
=^..^=
8 comments:
Hello, Friend! Chuckle. You know, I have often thought some of the same things you just shared--If they really knew me... I do try to be honest and real in my post, but ain't nothin real like real life! No one is pleasant and encouraging 24 hours a day! Least of all me. :}
But, Loretta, here's a promise: When we meet face to face, I will love you! No matter what. :D
Deb
Hello, Friend! I'm a lot like you. I have many cyber-friends, but only a few close friends. My sister chief among them!
Some people just roll that way -- nothing wrong with that!
DEB: I suppose I am not unique in feeling that way, that if people knew the "real" me they wouldn't like me. I belong to a tiny yahoo wt loss group, and we have been together now for about 5 1/2 years, and it's only been in the last year or so that I have finally felt like I can be the "real" me and not be rejected. It was not them, it was my hang-up.
Some day we need to have a big reunion... in person! And I'll take you up on needing the "no matter what"!
GEORGIA MIST: Wow, we are so similar! Aren't we blessed to have good sisters?!
Loretta
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Loretta, you are just wonderful! You are good enough. BIG HUGS!! I'm proud of you for openeing up some more. In case you didn't notice, we all love the real Loretta. Bring it on!
I don't have too many friends either. :)
Blows me away how similar my sentiments are. I absolutely think I can come off pretty good in writing before people meet me, but am convinced that will all change when I actually meet them. Or at best, a new friendship can go a little while until they decide I really am rather boring.
I recently realized that in all the world, there are only about 3 or 4 people that I am totally comfortable around! I don't choose it to be that way, it just IS that way.
CHRISTINA: Thank you, I appreciate you saying that. :-) It's hard sometimes to share our innermost thoughts... but it's also part of the process, and I think if we use wisdom as to what to share publically, it can really be freeing. I had a feeling you would understand.
BETH: That is so weird you said that about boring! I was telling Hubby that there are so many blogs that are entertaining, witty, funny, some full of drama, some controversial, etc etc. And mine seemed, by comparison, just "normal" and... well, boring. I guess we all have to learn to just be ourselves, me included.
Recently I read the most lovely blog post... darn, I wish I had noted who it was!! Anyway, she wrote a poem, and the subject was about being thankful for her life, in celebration of "ordinary." Oh!! I just remembered... here it is, Bonnie at Original Art Studio. The poem was "Thankful for an Ordinary Life", and was wonderful.
http://tinyurl.com/yefaml9
Loretta
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Thanks for including me among your friends. I am honored to be included, especially since I've been off feeling sorry for myself lately. You've made me realize that acceptence isn't what you do, but who you are.
Your friend, Your sister, Karen
I know we will meet one day! I am in Washington. I have sisters in Oregon (Springfield) but they have sort of disowned me. I have cousins in California and one cousin here in WA and they have sort of...disowned me too! And one in NC who thinks of disowning me but doesnt because she is trying to be a good Catholic!!!!!!!!!
So, I do know rejection. Big time. Does this info make you wonder, WHY I have been disowned? Well its because I apparently have a big mouth and like to speak my mind. I guess thats bad.
I have one good friend here in my state and she had a late in life baby last year so my partner in crime apparently has a new partner, ha ha I have acquantances such as the moms of my daughters friends, but we dont do things like go to the movies or anything. My friendships online mean the world to me.
(((hugs)))
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