Hi there Journal,
Today was weird. It took me forever to get focused, to get in touch with what I was feeling. I just felt empty, blank, with nothing to say. Anyone who knows me in person knows I am a kinda sorta opinionated person! So I knew I was just not making the effort to dig deeper. I wanted to float, to relax, to escape, to not try... uh oh. In the past those kinds of feelings were a perfect set-up... I would find some kind of escape, usually any movie on tv, and get all set for my journey into oblivion with a big tray of food... and plenty of it, so I wouldn't run out before the ride was over.
When I finally recognized the pattern, I slowed down and tuned in... I didn't WANT to... but I also didn't want to end up mindlessy shoving food in my face, either! Take yer pick! So I picked "face your stuff", instead of "stuff your face."
And I was surprised at what surfaced. It was no big deal, really... I was just running from it, cuz I felt like I was doing something wrong, and didn't want to deal with it. Basically, I was feeling SCATTERED. I have several irons in the fire at once... several areas in my life I am actively working on to change, and the old perfectionist in me is feeling stressed because I am not doing "perfectly" in all the areas. Add on top of that several projects around the house that are pressing to be done...
Wonder why I keek posting "Progress, not perfection"?? Because I need to be reminded again and again.
I am actively working on:
- Exercise--doing excellent since I joined the Countdown to Christmas Challenge.
- Counting calories--doing better, but still haven't set an iron-clad limit. I need to commit to that.
- Eating more veggies--actually doing worse since I started to focus on it... hmmm...
- Drinking more water--nope, about the same
- Time Management (up on time, bed on time)--still in the "I want to want to" stage of change... working on it.
- Taking all vitamins--actually worse since adding it to the list... weird
- Including something artsy--yes, totally enjoying that. Naturally, it's fun, not a chore.
- Following my daily chore schedule--eh, kinda sorta making progress. Not as fun as art... LOL!
I'm thinking if I am feeling scattered it's because I am being impatient, and trying to focus on too many things at once. I have made this mistake in the past. When you have so many things that need improvement, it's hard NOT to include them on the list!
There are so many pieces to the puzzle that make up a healthy and whole life. I am a work in progress, and need to remember to enjoy the journey along the way... to live now and not feel impatient. It will come. I just need to make good choices, consistently, one at a time. Take a deep breath, Loretta. You will get there.
From Dr Phil's book: "Enjoy the rewards of physical and psychological fitness. You will find a new level of personal power...you will have matured."
My verse for today: "It is God who arms me with strength."
My quote for today: "If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep in walking."
Enjoy the Journey,