Thursday, November 19, 2009

DAY 102 Scattered & A Work In Progress

 Hi there Journal,

Today was weird. It took me forever to get focused, to get in touch with what I was feeling. I just felt empty, blank, with nothing to say. Anyone who knows me in person knows I am a kinda sorta opinionated person! So I knew I was just not making the effort to dig deeper. I wanted to float, to relax, to escape, to not try... uh oh. In the past those kinds of feelings were a perfect set-up... I would find some kind of escape, usually any movie on tv, and get all set for my journey into oblivion with a big tray of food... and plenty of it, so I wouldn't run out before the ride was over. 

When I finally recognized the pattern, I slowed down and tuned in... I didn't WANT to... but I also didn't want to end up mindlessy shoving food in my face, either! Take yer pick! So I picked "face your stuff", instead of "stuff your face."

And I was surprised at what surfaced. It was no big deal, really... I was just running from it, cuz I felt like I was doing something wrong, and didn't want to deal with it. Basically, I was feeling SCATTERED. I have several irons in the fire at once... several areas in my life I am actively working on to change, and the old perfectionist in me is feeling stressed because I am not doing "perfectly" in all the areas. Add on top of that several projects around the house that are pressing to be done...

Wonder why I keek posting "Progress, not perfection"?? Because I need to be reminded again and again.

I am actively working on:
  • Exercise--doing excellent since I joined the Countdown to Christmas Challenge.
  • Counting calories--doing better, but still haven't set an iron-clad limit. I need to commit to that.
  • Eating more veggies--actually doing worse since I started to focus on it... hmmm...
  • Drinking more water--nope, about the same
  • Time Management (up on time, bed on time)--still in the "I want to want to" stage of change... working on it.
  • Taking all vitamins--actually worse since adding it to the list... weird
  • Including something artsy--yes, totally enjoying that. Naturally, it's fun, not a chore.
  • Following my daily chore schedule--eh, kinda sorta making progress. Not as fun as art... LOL!
I'm thinking if I am feeling scattered it's because I am being impatient, and trying to focus on too many things at once. I have made this mistake in the past. When you have so many things that need improvement, it's hard NOT to include them on the list!

There are so many pieces to the puzzle that make up a healthy and whole life. I am a work in progress, and need to remember to enjoy the journey along the way... to live now and not feel impatient. It will come. I just need to make good choices, consistently, one at a time. Take a deep breath, Loretta.  You will get there.

From Dr Phil's book:  "Enjoy the rewards of physical and psychological fitness. You will find a new level of personal will have matured."

My verse for today: "It is God who arms me with strength."

My quote for today: "If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep in walking."

Enjoy the Journey,



Anonymous said...

"Take a deep breath, Loretta. You will get there!" YES, YOU WILL!!! :D Deb

Retta said...

Thanks Deb! I didn't pray for patience, really I didn't! But I need to practice some. All this "change" takes time, especially since I want it to be permanent.

Jules said...

Yes! A healthy life is MANY changes, it is the journey, and as I posted today, it is just like a baby learning to walk all over again..

Building up to the changes takes time!

Christine said...

nice post loretta...face your stuff instead of stuff your face. Turning my brain off was a major reason for my weight gain as well, and using food for everything but fueling my body. Glad you grabbed a hold of yourself.

Beth said...

I related a lot to this post. Pretty much there are a couple of areas that I am ignoring -- exercise and chores. I do walking on the weekends now and daily in the summer because it is convenient, but haven't reached the stage where I will commit to anything that's inconvenient. I also am good at ignoring certain chores around the house; I think I feel that I am working hard enough on weight loss and mental changes, and my job, and that's all I can handle. But I know that is an excuse.

Thank you for the note on my blog, which made a lot of sense and for referring me to cmoursler's blog.

foolsfitness said...

I'm all about "whole" fitness for sure. the near end of my last post... well even a lot of it I think is near the track you are on here I believe. There is a lot going on and a lot to consider. (And a lot of chinese food to be eaten!)

Check out your toon tuesday post comment section. I wrote some links and I'm going to try to pull it together to do one or two.

I'll feed the hampster...-Alan

Anonymous said...

Retta, LOL! re: not praying for patience. That's a favorite joke of mine. :) The last time I prayed for patience, I had two babies in one year! My sons are 34 & 33 years old now--turned out okay. :D So will we! Deb

antgirl said...

Hmmm. I can totally relate to frustration. I like your *face your stuff*. Very witty and shrewd.

I keep repeating myself, too. We're on a theme this week, I guess. :-D

A tip on more veggies: I buy handy ready-to-go cherry tomatoes, baby cucumbers, baby carrots and sugar snap peas. All's I have to do is throw them on my plate or in a to-go container and I have plenty of veggies. I also have found lately that when I mix this 'salad' with my lunch, I'm often full enough that I opt to skip my afternoon snack. Because I'm just not hungry.

Retta said...

JULES: " a baby learning to walk all over again.." Hmmm, I hadn't thought of that. They fall down alot! AND keep getting back up. Good analogy!

CHRIS: Yep, me too. Escaping rather than feeling it.

BETH: I finally got back to the exercise after I committed to the Challenge... but oh those pesky chores! If I ever come into money, I know what I will get first: a weekly visit from Merry Maids! ha ha ha

ALAN: I actually did visit those links. My hubby was looking over my shoulder, and got "worried" I was going to take on another project. I told him no, I was just playing and enjoying checking them out. I like all kinds of art... him not so much. ;-) You've spoiled Hampy... he is now requesting Chinese food!!

DEB: My sister and I joke about that all the time: NEVER pray for patience. As Chris(cmoursler) says: He will send you "practice."

MARY/ANTGIRL: Sugar snap peas?? You mean just... raw? I thought you had to cook them. The baby cukes sound delicious. This summer my hubby planted a low-acid orange cherry tomato plant just for me. Man oh man!!!! I ate those lovely little things all summer. I miss them now. Back to store bought.


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