Good Afternoon Journal,
For a couple of years now I have followed the story of a Texan named Charles Scott. He started his weight loss journey in 2004 at almost 600 pounds. In a little less than 3 years, he lost 350 lbs, no surgery. He did it the old-fashioned way, exercise and proper nutrition, plus working on the mental part.
I find stories like his sooo encouraging, since I had so far to go starting out at 460 lbs. Here is a link to his Who Am I? page, with photos.
He also has a blog that he writes in on occasion, and recently I was fascinated by his take on the changes we must make in order to succeed. They must come from the inside out, as we all know. But here he was talking about a blog post he had read, in which the person said they were having a problem with on and off commitment.
His answer surprised me and made me think, because of the different way he put it. He said the key for him was to change what he wanted. He doesn't believe that we can WANT one thing and DO another thing for a very long period of time. Willpower is short lived, and won't sustain a long journey. If you are fighting what you "really" want all the time, then sooner or later you will cave.
So, his revelation was that we need to learn to change what we want. Find a way of eating and exercising that we genuinely love (or can learn to love). He said it is much easier to stay focused now. Back when he was 600 pounds, he says he ate what he wanted, how much he wanted, and when he wanted to eat it.
And now, he says he DOES THE SAME THING! What changed is what he wants now. He has a different mindset, and enjoys the benefits of being fit and healthy, eating better and enjoying it more.
That gave me something to think about! If I am struggling in areas... and feel like they are an uphill battle, then obviously I am resisting, and not WANTING the new, healthy way yet.
So I am working on changing my "want to's". I WANT to WANT all these things: I want to eat healthier... to exercise regularly...to eat moderate portions... to take my vitamins regularly... to drink enough water daily... to get up on time because I WENT TO BED ON TIME!
Some days I DO want them... some days I rebel a tad bit--or more! I may still DO them, but on the inside, I can feel the resistance.
The biggest area right now I want to WANT differently is in time management. It works sooo much better for my meals when I get up early and go to bed early. But that conflicts with my lifelong habit of being a night owl. I am looking for ways to help me WANT to get up early. Yeah, I am a morning wimp... but I think if I can make it fun, I might be enticed to get up early, which means go to bed on time. MyGuy is the opposite: he's like a Perky Jack-in-the-Box in the mornings... arrrgghh.
I am not transformed yet... I am a work in progress.
Good thing that "feeling" is not synonymous with "doing". I may feel like chucking the plan for a day... but so what? I WANT to succeed... so I do it anyway. I look forward to the day when my "wanter" lines up with my goals. Then I can say, like Charles Scott, that I am doing what I want!
(Scroll down to the 4th article, dated Feb 6, 09)
From Dr Phil's book: "Never tell yourself beforehand that something is impossible, nor set limits on your efforts."
7 comments:
We are on the same wavelength! Again, we have similar posts for the day (change and finding a plan you love).
Good luck with time management. I wish I had some advice! With a baby, I have to get up early, so I'm just learning to live with it. What are some of your reasons for wanting to get up early?
we are night owl twins then married to perky morning people (which is annoying...who can be THAT happy in the am?) LOL
I need to WANT to get up early too. I will work on the want this week. Maybe just saying it everyday a few times, I WANT TO GET UP EARLY TOMOROW, eventually I will get to bed early one or two days and then it will become normal?
I dont know. I think part of it is that I like the alone time I get at night, since at this point in time my hubby is ALWAYS here, I wouldnt get my alone time if I went to bed early, and then I might lose my mind altogether, LOL
Maybe after he goes back to work.
yep, I guess that's another way to view it. That day in build a bear I looked up and saw what I didn't want, when I saw that, I realized what I did want. I wanted to be teh thin and fit mom. The mom whose daughter's friends said "wow, is that your mom? She looks great!" Not, "Wow, is that your mom, she sure is fat!"
That moment Changed what I wanted.
CINCIMOM11: So that's the trick... have a baby! :-O Seriously though, whenever I have turned my hours around--for brief amounts of time--my day is so much better as far as meals, getting my chores done, not feeling like I'm playing catch up all day, trying to get stuff done before Jim comes home. Part of it is that I love the quiet time in the evening after he's asleep. After all the chores are done, I get involved in art projects then, too.
Trouble is, if I stay up too late, I get genuinely hungry, and usually eat, making a fourth meal. And mornings it's already hard to get up, and even harder being short on sleep. I am a slow starter in the morning, needing it quiet and calm, time for coffee and reflection, and to work out the kinks and get my muscles working. Being married to a perky morning person is like getting up and getting hit full force by a speeding train first thing in the morning!
I think I have decided to ask his cooperation... and tell him to pretend I am not here. :-) I will get my coffee and do something enjoyable, like play on the computer, until time to make his two meals to take to work. Maybe that way I will feel like I was "rewarded" for getting up early, and I will WANT to get up. The rest of the benefits will kick in as time goes on, but to get me started, the instant reward part might be just the thing to get the ball rolling.
NANCY: Oh no! You too??!! Are you SURE we aren't married to the same guy??!! LOL!
CHRIS: I was thinking about what you said, and I guess this whole desire to change when I get up DID start because I saw what it did to me to stay up late--eating that 4th meal, and the next day being stressed from being behind schedule--and it helped me to realize what I did NOT want. So now I see what I DO want, and am searching for a way to make it happen.
I can only imagine how that must've made you feel, to feel like you weren't the Mom you wanted to be... a BIG motivator for change.
Loretta
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Hey, Retta. first, thanks for reading my post; I always appreciate your comments. Sometimes when we know what we want to say, we think we've said it even if we haven't. I THOUGHT I was saying we need to change our wants, but after readying your and Diz's comments, I'm thinking I my point was only clear to me. :} I reread my post and it still looks to me that I said we need to change our wants. ? Help. :) Tell me how to make my message clearer. Deb
Hi Deb,
I'm sorry for the confusion. Actually, I thought YOUR message was clear. But perhaps Diz read it the way we all tend to read things... with our own filter, interpreting the way we are used to thinking. That's a pretty common thing to do. :-)
If I was someone else, and hadn't read Rettakat's post before I had read YOUR post, and then had read DIZ's comment, I (this other anonymous reader, hee hee) would have been influenced to interpret YOUR post the same as DIZ's comment... as the same thing we are used to hearing: more willpower, more control, batten down the hatches, grit our teeth, try harder, more self-discipline, etc etc. I know there is a kernel of truth there and there is a place for those things. But I am realizing that THAT is a hard way to do it, an uphill white-knuckle way to fight this battle.
All that is a longwinded way to say, I loved what you said and it sounded fine to me! It was just the comment from your reader that misunderstood your meaning, and I was concerned it would influence other of your readers..
Clear as mud now, right!? ROFLOL!
Loretta
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Thanks, Lorretta! I had wondered if you were resonding to Diz more than to me, but since here post was what it was--I needed to make sure I hadn't thrown you both off. :) Thanks for the helping hand. I think readers read so far and then kind of get their own thoughts going. Just like we think we're writing what we mean when often we're not--we also think we're reading what was written when we're reading our own take. Why do these explanations sound so cumbersome?! :) Deb
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