Friday, July 1, 2011

JULY 1st Waving the White Flag

Good Afternoon Journal & Friends,

It's a good thing I've been reading a fantastic book lately... one that is keeping me from believing everything I hear... ESPECIALLY MY OWN SELF-TALK!!! (more about that book in another post...)

"Don't believe everything 
you hear, even if you are the one 
doing the talking." 
--Mack Machowicz, from Unleash The Warrior Within

Anway, this photo is what a red Amaryllis SHOULD look like when in full bloom:

And below is what I've got sitting in my studio window... I planted it months ago, and the last photo below was taken this morning:

I had planned to make a super duper post all about growth and patience and seeing the results of our efforts over time... yeah, right. What I got instead was a lesson in two things: 

We can say all the right things, yet if not consistently DOING the right things, we still won't see the "bloom". 

And... don't give in to discouragement. Instead, find out what I'm doing wrong, and fix it. But no matter what... always keep going. 

Which brings me to the 1st of the month weigh in: 336. Yep... that's UP 3 pounds. Now you know why I'm battling those old voices in my head! I mean... I didn't think I did THAT bad. But... time to get real honest. 

I've not been consistent, especially during this last week when my kitchen was torn up. That's no excuse; this is life or death, and there will always be SOMETHING to use as an excuse. Sure, I can brag about no pig-outs, as in days of old. But if I consistently eat "a little" too much here and there each day... it ends up being just as destructive!! Gotta face it, admit it, and fix it. 

I know what I need to do... I just don't WANT to. Waa waa waa... I don't waaaannntt to. 

My answer has to be: So what?! Do it anyway.

That point was driven home recently just yesterday (hmmm, no coincidence, methinks) when my Secret Challenge Partner emailed me with excitement over the results from her Doctors appointment. She is diabetic, and for YEARS fought it. She didn't WANT to closely monitor her blood sugars. She didn't WANT to be disciplined in her carb control. She didn't WANT to be diabetic!! So... she fought it.

But during our challenge, she decided to make as one of her goals checking her blood sugars several times a day and to stay on plan. Well... her doctor, who had been very critical and skeptical and unsupportive of her EVER changing (a doctor like that ought to be horsewhipped...sorry, just sayin) had to admit that her daily blood sugar record and her A1c were AWESOME!! He was very impressed, and she is so encouraged.

I need to stop whining about not waaaannnnting to count carbs, and just learn how to do it. Calorie counting is a breeze for me. Takes me no time at all. But carbs... totally time consuming for me. But... I need to do this. I need to learn this. I need to stop fighting it, and put in the effort it takes to get the results I want. No excuses.  

So... I surrender. Uncle. I give in. I'm wavin' the white flag.

In my focus to keep the calories down, I suspect I've allowed the carbs to creep up. Well, I'm SURE I have. And as we all know, carbs drive up blood glucose. And high blood glucose levels drive up insulin. And insulin is essentially a storage hormone that stashes away excess carbohydrate calories in the form of fat. When insulin levels are running high because I am carelessly ingesting too many carbs for my particular metabolism, it's very difficult for fat to be released from storage to be burned up as fuel. And believe me, I have saddle-bags of "fat fuel" I want to burn up!

Anyway... while I don't plan to count anything for life, be it calories OR carbs, I need to be honest with how much of what I'm really eating. And the only way to do that is to learn to count those dang carbs. So... no excuses. I'll do it. Starting TODAY.

I didn't WANT to publically commit to counting carbs. That way I could say forget it if it turned out to be "hard". Uh... that is exactly WHY I am writing it here, to make myself accountable and not give myself an easy way out. Hard or easy... I started today. Not sure for how long, but at least until I've made progress weight wise and learned to control the carbs better. No excuses, Loretta.

From Dr Phil's book: "Evaluate each and every option in your life against the priorities of your goals."

My verse for today: "You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence."

My quote for today: "Don't give yourself an out. If you do, you'll use it when things get tough!" --Mack Machowicz, from Unleash The Warrior Within

Enjoy the Journey,


DAY 686


Anonymous said...

Hmmm. I had assumed that since you've said you're eating a low-carb food plan that you had been counting carbs all along. Are you SURE you haven't?

Anyway. I find counting carbs to be soooo much easier and less time consuming than counting cals. I mean whole food groups have NO carbs to count. (meat, fat) Other groups have VERY FEW carbs (veggies).

In fact, many now say that except for the high starch veggies like corn and potaotes, you don't really need to pay much attention to veggie carbs.

There's that whole net carb thing, too, in which you subtract the fiber carbs from the total carbs and only count the balance.

I know. I've been saying that I'm on a cal count diet, but due to the diabetes, I need to watch carbs. AND, more than that, when I don't watch carbs--I do not lose weight. As my weight tally over on my sidebar shows.

My best carb range is between 45 and 75 grams a day. If I follow that, I lose. Like I said, I obviously have NOT been following it.

And do you know why? BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO! That's why.

sighhhhhhh. I looove carbs. I do. Loooooooove carbs. Haaaate veggies. Am basically indifferent to meat. Enjoy fruit. :D Oh. Wait. carbs there. And I loooooove carbs.

Uh-hmmm. You get the idea.

I've known for a while that I have to bite the bullet and start paying attention to the carb count. (SparkPeople will tally that for you, remember.)

Thanks for the nudge. Do you want to do a challenge with each other beginning Monday? (Yes, I did say Monday. Can you believe that?) sighhh.

Hugs, Loretta. If it'll make youi feel better, I gained more than you.


Anonymous said...

So cool that your Secret Challenge friend is getting great readings!!!

Carbs are my nemesis too...when I eat a lot less, I can lose.

I saw this today and thought of you.

Are you still doing chair yoga?

Hope your Saturday is wonderful!!!

Rettakat said...

Thank you, Kimberley. I read the reviews on the yoga DVD, and they mention improved flexibility. I sure could use some of that! I'll check it out, thanks!

Anne H said...

My Friend Miss RKat
I love the way you think...
the way you write...
We are often on the same "wave length"
and I love it!

I'll count carbs with you...
But I think I'll have to get used to it,
Cuz I will prolly have to /get to
count them as long as I live!
And that's ok!

How fitting that we are celebrating Independence Day - not from obesity or diets or counting calories /carbs....

But freedom from being afraid to try something
because of a fear that it might be too hard.
No damn candy bar or other treat is worth
the risk of High Blood Sugar or failing health!

Self -esteem is hard enough - without having to carry the past around with us every step we take!

Sounds like you are turning a corner!
Love ya,
Anne H

PeacefulBird said...

Anne kind of said everything I wanted to say. I admire you, Loretta, you've got spunk, true grit! I shall hold you accountable as per your own resolve and be wavin' the flags, shoutin' the "bravos" here in the cheering section!

Jules said...

white flags are good...much needed..why sometimes are we so stubborn to grab it... oh and by the way, the amaryllis, i believe, takes a couple years to actually produce a bloom..and when you re-plant it for a larger starts doesn't like change....

foolsfitness said...

It's so easy for me to give into excuses... being a holiday, or just one, it gets to a point where I'm making an excuse that the sun is out or not to eat!

this spring and summer have been lessons for me in making mistakes and learning to readapt, dust off, and move on again. With success (at times!)

At Foolsfitness our excuse is the dog ate it!- Alan

M Pax said...

Make a sideways plan around the 'don't wanna'. That's what I'd do. How can you make yourself want to? Sometimes we have to fool ourselves for awhile. What's a step toward that goal you are willing to do?

That's where I always start with a new plan. How can you work with yourself?

There's the rub in all this and the part only you can figure out.

But you're still fighting the good fight. You'll get there, Retta Cat. xxoo, Luv ya :)

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