Good Afternoon Journal & Friends,
It's a good thing I've been reading a fantastic book lately... one that is keeping me from believing everything I hear... ESPECIALLY MY OWN SELF-TALK!!! (more about that book in another post...)
"Don't believe everything
you hear, even if you are the one
doing the talking."
--Mack Machowicz, from Unleash The Warrior Within
Anway, this photo is what a red Amaryllis SHOULD look like when in full bloom:
And below is what I've got sitting in my studio window... I planted it months ago, and the last photo below was taken this morning:
I had planned to make a super duper post all about growth and patience and seeing the results of our efforts over time... yeah, right. What I got instead was a lesson in two things:
We can say all the right things, yet if not consistently DOING the right things, we still won't see the "bloom".
And... don't give in to discouragement. Instead, find out what I'm doing wrong, and fix it. But no matter what... always keep going.
Which brings me to the 1st of the month weigh in: 336. Yep... that's UP 3 pounds. Now you know why I'm battling those old voices in my head! I mean... I didn't think I did THAT bad. But... time to get real honest.
I've not been consistent, especially during this last week when my kitchen was torn up. That's no excuse; this is life or death, and there will always be SOMETHING to use as an excuse. Sure, I can brag about no pig-outs, as in days of old. But if I consistently eat "a little" too much here and there each day... it ends up being just as destructive!! Gotta face it, admit it, and fix it.
I know what I need to do... I just don't WANT to. Waa waa waa... I don't waaaannntt to.
My answer has to be: So what?! Do it anyway.
That point was driven home recently just yesterday (hmmm, no coincidence, methinks) when my Secret Challenge Partner emailed me with excitement over the results from her Doctors appointment. She is diabetic, and for YEARS fought it. She didn't WANT to closely monitor her blood sugars. She didn't WANT to be disciplined in her carb control. She didn't WANT to be diabetic!! So... she fought it.
But during our challenge, she decided to make as one of her goals checking her blood sugars several times a day and to stay on plan. Well... her doctor, who had been very critical and skeptical and unsupportive of her EVER changing (a doctor like that ought to be horsewhipped...sorry, just sayin) had to admit that her daily blood sugar record and her A1c were AWESOME!! He was very impressed, and she is so encouraged.
I need to stop whining about not waaaannnnting to count carbs, and just learn how to do it. Calorie counting is a breeze for me. Takes me no time at all. But carbs... totally time consuming for me. But... I need to do this. I need to learn this. I need to stop fighting it, and put in the effort it takes to get the results I want. No excuses.
So... I surrender. Uncle. I give in. I'm wavin' the white flag.
In my focus to keep the calories down, I suspect I've allowed the carbs to creep up. Well, I'm SURE I have. And as we all know, carbs drive up blood glucose. And high blood glucose levels drive up insulin. And insulin is essentially a storage hormone that stashes away excess carbohydrate calories in the form of fat. When insulin levels are running high because I am carelessly ingesting too many carbs for my particular metabolism, it's very difficult for fat to be released from storage to be burned up as fuel. And believe me, I have saddle-bags of "fat fuel" I want to burn up!
Anyway... while I don't plan to count anything for life, be it calories OR carbs, I need to be honest with how much of what I'm really eating. And the only way to do that is to learn to count those dang carbs. So... no excuses. I'll do it. Starting TODAY.
I didn't WANT to publically commit to counting carbs. That way I could say forget it if it turned out to be "hard". Uh... that is exactly WHY I am writing it here, to make myself accountable and not give myself an easy way out. Hard or easy... I started today. Not sure for how long, but at least until I've made progress weight wise and learned to control the carbs better. No excuses, Loretta.
From Dr Phil's book: "Evaluate each and every option in your life against the priorities of your goals."
My verse for today: "You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence."
My quote for today: "Don't give yourself an out. If you do, you'll use it when things get tough!" --Mack Machowicz, from Unleash The Warrior Within
Enjoy the Journey,