Tuesday, July 19, 2011

JULY 19th Cruisin & Willing to Change

Hi Journal & Friends,

About time for an update on this Carb Conquest Cruise!

I've been spending so much time counting, figuring, entering data, juggling numbers, etc etc, that by the time I'm done, I don't have the slightest interest in spending MORE time on the computer. That's the bad news. 

The good news is... it's going great!!

I joined Deb on the Carb Conquest Cruise a few days ago, and decided to once and for all learn to accurately count carbs. I've been dragging my feet for 2 years, resisting it. But after I finally gave in and started, I discovered that percentages counted, too. You know... how much of your food comes from where... from carbs, or fats, or proteins. I know this time-intense focus is temporary, but necessary. Kinda like learning to drive. You have to really focus for a bit, then it becomes second nature later.

Well, I used to concentrate on staying within a calorie range, and just pick all my choices from low carb foods. Meaning no sugar, or stuff that quickly turns to sugar in the body (grains, starches, potatoes, over doing the fruit, etc). That worked... for awhile.

Also along this Cruise, I've had to face some truths about myself. Ouch! 

What truths?? Well... that it's been EXTREMELY hard to let go of my night time eating habit! I was embarrassed to find it still had such a vise grip on me!! Even after all the progress I've made. 

I would hoard calories, and have a "legal" Munch-fest in the evening. After all, I still had calories left, and ate on-plan food... so I was being good... right??? Uh... no. Dress it up, decorate it however, give it a spin, call it whatever... but it's still a load of Junk! I was just justifying a fun behavior I didn't want to stop.

See... I deliberately PLANNED to have those extra 800 or so calories left for the night. Yep, I felt nervous if it fell under 500. :-} I had my categories of "legal" treats all planned out. My sugar free chocolate, my tea with cream, my homemade whatever-was-freshly made, and usually a low carb pseudo-food treat (ie, low carb junk food!). I did well all day, and have given up so much, don't I deserve these "legal" treats??? I have the calories, and am being Good. Riiiigggghhhhttt... just keep telling yourself that, Loretta.

And I did for 2 years, since March 2009. Then Deb started writing these "annoying" posts, with stuff like:  You heard it here first--Deb's Binge Monster Sanctuary and Overeating Preserve is in business.

It took me MONTHS of trying to ignore it... but there was something for me there. And I knew it. Because it kept annoying me! And one thing I have learned (much to my annoyance! ha ha ha) is that if something keeps annoying me, I'd better find out WHY. 

And that brings us to this Carb Conquest Cruise!!! Take a bow, Deb, it's all yer fault, ha ha ha... 

Seriously, I'm very thankful Deb DID talk about it. Because it was time. Time for me to face that I really did need to let go of my treasured "treat" of saving up calories and abusing food at night... for that's what it was for me. My way to unwind, treat myself, soothe after a hard day, whatever. I didn't NEED to look for a reason, there was always a reason. :-}

I've wound it down to my sugar free chocolate, and hot tea--no cream... IF I still have the calories in the budget. Or, one diet soda sweetened with splenda, or just herbal iced tea. Maybe some day I will get to the "nothing" stage. We'll see. :-) But for me, this is a HUGE change. Progress... progress.

If you are struggling with night time eating that is interfering with your progress, do yourself a favor, and go read these two "annoying" posts by Deb, Part 1 and Part 2. Go ahead... leave her an Annoyed comment. She won't mind... mwa ha ha ha. ;-)

From Dr Phil's book: "If you continue to eat the way you've always eaten, you will continue to stay the way you've always been."

My verse for today: "You are my lamp, O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light."

My quote for today: "You change for one of two reasons: you learn enough to want to... OR... you've been hurt enough you have to." --Author unknown

Enjoy the Journey,


DAY 703


Anonymous said...

LOL! We be cruisin', Retta--Yes we be! :D


Christine said...

okay, I was that cat today...I need a t shirt with that cat on it. lololol. I hoard calories too. I need to space them better. I don't do well hungry at night and so try to avoid it. Great job on counting the carbs.

Anonymous said...

I enjoy your posts so much...such honesty! Glad you are cruisin' along!!!

Rettakat said...

CHRIS: Yes, that is why I started saving some up too, in the beginning. In fact, I still think it was a good strategy when I started. I didn't allow myself to get overly hungry and then tempted. But...

For me, it morphed over time. And the calorie hoard grew larger, and I ate even when NOT hungry, cuz I had those "legal" calories, and by golly I had earned them!

But for me I am on down the road now, and it's time to require more of myself, and once again raise the bar. That's why I am enjoying your posts about hitting it hard now to the finish line! :-)


'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

I absolutely see real progress for you that will show up on the scale very soon.
It is so good of you to share the struggles you have with others. We all can learn so much from one another.

Millie said...

Wow! This is really going to make a difference for you, Loretta, I'm sure of it. Good for you for facing up to that annoying voice and letting it have it's way. That is a courageous step! can't wait to see what it yields. :)

Christina said...

It is amazing what truths we discover on this journey! I can totally relate to the night eating. Good for you for making another healthy change! :)

M Pax said...

I'm an evening munchie person, too. My treat to myself. Yup. I really get that.

It's something I've struggled with, and if I don't eat a proper lunch and breakfast, it all comes roaring back.

Tea is a great way to treat oneself in some delicious, decadent flavor. Still has no calories. Yip.

Sounds like you were ready to move on again. So, yay. We all have our own path to walk. Own yours. :)

Anyway, I love reading about you making headway. Makes me happy to hear you happy.

Niecy said...

Another interesting and fun post. I am enjoying your blog so much and thank you for being willing to share. Your (and Deb's)insights are helpful.

I have a question, however: What is Carb Conquest Cruise? I'm missing something, but I suspect you are analyzing carbs in foods you are eating, or not eating.

I will be seeing a nutritionist soon because of some kidney issues and I am nervous. Right now, I am on Weight Watchers and doing okay, not great, but okay and moving forward. I believe the nutritionist is going to limit some of the foods I love: yogurt, cheese, etc. We will see and I will handle things as they happen, but your Carb Conquest sounded interesting.

Anne H said...

I am one of those people who gets up and "sleep-eats."
Wake up the next am and there are candy wrappers on the counter top. So I threw out the hard stuff, and every night before bed, I take a serving of protein powder in just water... no ice no flavorings.... just to avoid the temptation of eating worse.

You are doing great!

debby said...

Good for you on making one of those hard changes. I am one who likes an evening snack too. I sometimes struggle to keep it under control, but I do have an arsenal of healthy choices now. It also usually works for me to wait until later to have my snack. And then just go to bed.!

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