Wednesday, March 2, 2011

MAR 2 I. Will. Finish. This. Race.

Hi there Journal & Friends,

I know I posted this video last August... but like I've said before, I write what *I* need to read. And I needed the reminder.

I may be slow. I may make lots of mistakes. I may need to get up after falling over and over... But I will not quit. I WILL finish. God has never given up on me, and so I won't give up, either.

I got a call yesterday from my big brother on Southern California. Daddy isn't doing well. Intubated for breathing, putting in a feeding tube... all that. The consensus is, he won't be here in September, when the family gathering had been planned. I wrote about that last Friday, in my Shooting For The Moon   post, where I shared my goal of getting Lighter and Stronger so I could make the trip in September.

So you can imagine how I feel now. Even if I just whipped out the ol' credit card and charged it all, even if Jim could demand the time off work... doesn't matter. I am still not physically able yet to make the trip. And that stirs up painful memories of all the other times in life I missed out, due to weight. It's tough... I can't change that, it's history, but it's still hard to swallow. All I can do is use it as fuel to propel me forward. To look ahead, not back.

I don't know what will happen. Daddy is a tough ol' bird.  He is 89, and took a new bride last year. And up until a few months ago was still working part time, as a Federal Judge. So for all I know, he could just decide to hang around til September. He's like that... he makes up his mind, bang goes the gavel, and that's that. He was excited about meeting his great-granddaughter for the first time in September, when we all were to come down from Oregon to SoCal.

Either way... I will finish this race. And I will either see Daddy here... or There.

Never Ever Give Up In Life--Derek Redmond

From Dr Phil's book: "There is rarely a time in your life when all is at peace and balance. That's neither good nor bad; it is simply the ebb and flow of how life works. To be alive means to experience emotions, painful or otherwise."

My verse for today: "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."

My quote for today: "Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." --Dale Carnegie

Complete the Journey,


DAY 565


Anonymous said...

Member of the "I'll never quit club." I love it and just might have to borrow from you :)

Anonymous said...

That's rough, Loretta, and I'm very sorry. I know how painful "history" can be--no matter how well you spin it.

Praying. For you and your dad.


Cinner said...

Loretta, I read this and just want to sit and give you a big hug. I hope he hangs on so that you get to see him. I could picture him slamming down the gavel. your honesty really hits home. I stayed home on Sunday alone from an 80th birthday party because of my health. so I know that feeling. I am a member of your club too. remember you have people holding your hand along the way. I will pray for you and your dad. love to you.

M Pax said...

Well, you know my motto - Never give up. Never surrender.

I'm really sorry to hear the news about your dad. That has to sting. Next time, you will be ready. That's what you need to keep telling yourself and dedicate yourself to that.

Tap into your tenacity like a pitbull. :) Hugs to ya!

M Pax said...

ps, I'm going to put your no quit button on my blog. Since it does fit my motto so well. :)

Anonymous said...

Glad you are a member of the never quit club! I believe in you.

Sorry to hear your father is ailing...sending positive thoughts for his improvement.

Hugs Loretta.

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

Dang it! Sometimes we just don't get what we want, when we want it. Gods' timing is sometimes not what we expect, but never wrong. Take this as one last time that you will ever have to think about your health or ability to do something important that you really want and need to do. Be more free in the future. That is what this is all about after all, isn't it?

Anne H said...

Funny - I was thinking of this video and here you posted it.
I say - Loretta - you are so right - so close - so good!
I want this for you as much as I want this for me.
Go go go!

Beginning Anew said...

glad you aren't giving up and you're right, he may hang on and it may all work out. Even if it doesn't and things don't go well, you owe it to yourself to keep pushing toward your goal! I really hope you get to make your trip and see your dad. I know how much mine means to me, I'm guessing yours means as much to you.

Christine said...

I hope you see him. I am sorry about your health.
Sometimes there really is nothing to say but...don't quit. Hugs to you. I hope he hangs in there, he sounds like a tough old bird.

MargieAnne said...

Oh Wow! Oh Wow!

I remember that but I don't think I've seen this particular video presentation before.

I'm so glad you have it because sometimes life is so hard and you are facing a really tough time right now. I can't imagine how I'd feel in your position. I've never lived more than a few hours drive away from my parents.

I'm so glad you used it on this post because it's 4 am, I can't sleep. I finally gave up about 3 am, turned the computer on and made some toast and honey and was just about to start prowling in the pantry again. Now I'm crying. How can I keep looking for food which doesn't satisfy after watching such an awesome display of courage?

Thank-you. You mean a lot to me.


Anonymous said...

Well, can I be inyour club, too? :D

I predict a blogger phenomenon.


Rettakat said...

DEB: Well, that makes 4 of us... wow, it's a tsunami!! LOL!

Sheilagh said...

I pray your dad holds on and there is a joyful reunion.

I am going to add your button to my blog, I am not going to quit trying.

Big hugs to you my dear frind xx

Pretty Pauline said...

So sorry for the hard times, but love your no quit attitude! :)

Anonymous said...

Thank you Loretta for the "NO QUIT" attitude! I needed that SO BADLY ! Binged 5 pounds back on that I worked so hard to get off. Was ready to stop the work for a while. You shocked me back to sanity. Also, So happy your father is better. He is going to make it to September and so are you!

bbubblyb said...

Sorry to hear about your dad, glad he's hanging in there. Hope you get to see each other in Sept. *hugs and prayers to you*

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