Wednesday, February 16, 2011

FEB 16 No More!

Hello Journal & Friends,

That's IT! No more. 

I heard myself yesterday, and it was awful. I was whining and complaining and moaning and groaning... and realized that playing the victim was getting me NOwhere fast!

My low back is trying to go out again, and the pain in my tailbone area is getting worse... go to bed in pain, wake in the night in pain, wake in the morning in pain... and the tears were more from frustration and self-pity than the awful pain. As I was whining to Jim to please rub my back, I finally heard myself. Yuck!!

Then I remembered some stuff I'd been reading, and decided that's IT. No more victim. I'm going to DO something. And before ya'll nice people tell me to see a doctor... I did. And they chalked it up to the usual: Hey, you're fat. Well, put nicer than that, but it's the same thing. "It will improve as you lose weight".

Thing is... it's getting worse. Unbearable levels. Sleep-ruining levels. Don't wanna move or exercise levels. Grumpy levels. Oh poor me levels. 

So... I decided I've got NOTHING to lose by being Proactive. I wrote out a list of exercises that I hope will help, and started, that very day.

Yesterday I dusted off my Gymboss timer and my pink dumbbells!

If you missed my post about my Gymboss timer, it's great for timing interval workouts. Here's a link, and about halfway down the page, that explains the benefits of Tabata type timing in exercise. 

I also did PUSH UPS... well, wall push ups, hee hee. I saw a very large man on the tv show Heavy doing them, and thought "I could do that!" Also some stretching and leg lifts and other muscle building squeezes... you know, the glutes, where you SIT, ha ha. I'm hoping to build muscle to replace the missing cushion of fat, and ease the pain on my cracked tailbone. (Has anyone done this? Any experiences or advice about that??)

Here is part of what I read that inspired me and put my "suffering" into perspective, from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R Covey... it was about the story of Viktor Frankl:

Frankl was a determinist raised in the tradition of Freudian psychology, which postulates that whatever happens to you as a child shapes your character and personality and basically governs your whole life. The limits and parameters of your life are set, and, basically, you can't do much about it.

Frankl was also a Jew. He was imprisoned in the death camps of Nazi Germany, where he experienced things that were so repugnant to our sense of decency that we shudder to even repeat them.

His parents, his brother, and his wife died in the camps or were sent to the gas ovens. Except for his sister, his entire family perished. Frankl himself suffered torture and innumerable indignities, never knowing from one moment to the next if his path would lead to the ovens or if he would be among the "saved" who would remove the bodies or shovel out the ashes of those so fated.

One day, naked and alone in a small room, he began to become aware of what he later called "the last of the human freedoms" -- the freedom his Nazi captors could not take away. They could control his entire environment, they could do what they wanted to his body, but Viktor Frankl himself was a self-aware being who could look as an observer at his very involvement. His basic identity was intact. He could decide within himself how all of this was going to affect him. Between what happened to him, or the stimulus, and his response to it, was his freedom or power to choose that response.

Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose.

Frankl... began to devolop the first and most basic habit of a highly effective person in any environment, the habit of proactivity.

It means that... we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions... We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen.

Viktor Frankl suggests that there are three central values in life --the experiential, or that which happens to us; the creative, or that which we bring into existence; and the attitudinal, or our response in difficult circumstances...

My own experience with people confirms the point Frankl makes -- that the highest of the three values is attitudinal... in other words, what matters most is how we respond to what we experience in life. (end quote)


Well, there was more, but that's long enough! Time to be proactive... time to DO!

Edited later to add: I had an Angel call me. She had her own experience with a fractured coccyx, and suggested 4 different types of physical therapies I could try at home. I am so grateful I could almost cry! Only out of relief and hope, this time. Thank you SO much, You-Know-Who-You-Are!!

From Dr Phil's book: "Get off your duff and get moving."

My verse for today: "Be merciful to me O Lord, for I am in distress."

My quote for today: "Sitting around on your big fat gluteus maximus talking about the good old days... The good old days are right this second. You've got to exercise VIG-OR-OUSLY! Life is tough. Life is a challenge. Life is a battlefield... Life is an athletic event, and you must train for it."  --Jack LaLanne, at age 91

Enjoy the Journey,


DAY 551


R. Reed said...

Proactive is always the answer, awesome for you for getting it done :) I have been whining a whole lot lately too...even driving myself crazy. I have pulled myself out of it as well :)

We can do it! I have bad back pain too...losing weight will help us both :)

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

Thank you for posting this excerpt. I made a post that of a similar idea: why some seem naturally more motivated than others in this life. It's always interesting how those who blog get onto similar threads.
I really like the quote because it speaks of the moment he realized there was some control over how he reacted to this awful situation. If he could do that, then we can all determine something about how we live. Thanks again, Loretta!

Anonymous said...

Loretta, I remember a number of posts back--so my memory is vague--that you talked about cutting your pain meds back. Am I remembering correctly? If so, perhaps you need to rethink that.

Attitude control is great, but taking some of the physical edge off ALONG WITH that determination is better.

And, perhaps, another MD visit is due if it's been awhile. You've lost 100 pounds. And besides, maybe they have different pain meds or different treatment. There are some gizmos that can be worn to confuse the pain impulses. (I forget the name.)

You'd want everything that could be don to be done if it were someone you carred abaout. Be kind to yourself. That's not the same as self-pity.


Dawn said...

Great! You just have to do as the old chinese proverb says....
.......'Do the best you can with.... with what you have....where you are'
Sounds like thats just what you're doing!

Anonymous said...

Glad you are working with your doctor, good idea. It's so great that you're being proactive, Loretta. I was thinking about you the other day in regard to exercise and I remember back when I taught exercise to seniors and people with limited mobility. You gotta do what you can, right? PS - I don't see you as a whiner or moaner.

Rettakat said...

DEB: you remember right, I did switch to some pain pills that didn't put me to sleep all day, and I like them better. Thing is... none of them ever take "away" the pain, just take the edge off in general. But they don't touch "specific" pain, like the cracked tailbone.

I hadn't thought about a T.E.N.S unit, I think that's what you might be referring to. I had one years ago, and it didn't seem to do much. But maybe I can check into what is out now on that. Thanks for the idea!

MargieAnne said...

Haha! Your decision to be pro-active is great and you have touched on a core failing of mine.

I do so hope you can find an effective way to deal with the pain. It's no joke and so draining.

Those exercises should help so I'm hoping you are going at a reasonable pace so that you still have energy for the next day. I say that because I'm inclined to 'bust a gut' one day and then be too exhausted to do anything the next, and we know where that leads .... weeks of inactivity.

Blessings. You reach my soul.

dailyseeking said...

I'm glad you are back and your spirit is encouraging!

M Pax said...

I hear fire. Woot!

By being proactive you will find your answers. I hope you find relief soon.

Anne H said...

Sounds like a very good,
very work-able,
do-able plan!
I say "Go Fot It!"

PeacefulBird said...

Being proactive about pain is a very good thing!

Hard not to be bitter and angry when Drs. say, "If you just lost a little more weight..." I've heard that so many times in my life.

Tailbone pain, cracked (or not I don't know), I've had. A physical therapist told me that strengthening the hips helps a lot. She gave me two exercises. One was to squeeze the buns together for 12 seconds, relax, squeeze, etc. repeating 10 times every waking hour. Can be done sitting, standing or laying down. The other one is clams hells. On you side, knees bent, raise the top knee, hold and lower slowly,x 12, several times per day. You need to be rocked forward a bit. My knees don't go very high at all when I do it right, only 6 inches or so. When I did these two exercises repeatedly, it only took a week to be nearly coxis pain free. They help my lower back pain too. Worth a try?

Rettakat said...

PEACEFULBIRD: Thank you for the specifics, Robin, I appreciate that. And yes, it's definitely worth a try!! Starting today. :-)

Christine said...

also...when you are proactive, you get to ditch the
It makes everything harder.
I hope you are able to get rid of some of your pain soon.

Sheilagh said...

I have back problems also, I make excuses about exercise, I am the worlds best procrastinator. You post got to me and I am going to try to follow your lead. Even with baby steps we can get somewhere, can't we? xx

MizFit said...

I dont love that im your sister in the backache'age.
I do love your attitude and am stealing some of it for my day!

Hanlie said...

That is a winning attitude!

I love the story and am actually going to send it to a friend who is going through a tough time with an abusive employer at the moment.

Joy said...

Friend, You just have to do what you can. Every day!!! Having a good attitude helps!!!

Hey is that my blog on your computer screen? Kind of looks like it! So strange. I looked at it and it seemed really familiar! So cool!

Have a great day and stay focused. You can push through. I just know it!!

Anonymous said...

Retta I'm so sorry to hear of your pain! How annoying some doctors are. I had crippling pain at one time, my slipped discs in my lower back, but nothing my doctor gave me worked. My neighbor kept telling me to walk and I kept thinking "shut up skinny lady!" But eventually I was desperate enough to try anything. I borrowed a treadmill and started walking. My back improved. It improved to the point that I could sit for a period of time again (before, sitting was EXCRUCIATING) Still the pain changed, it did not go away entirely. It happens now if I stand for too long. But I know that walking helps it. So if your exercises help your back just keep doing them. I have a hard time remembering my motivation now to walk my treadmill Then I remember oh yeah, there was a time I had to lay on the floor and stretch for 2 hours before being able to get on with the day, there was a time that driving the kids to school was so painful I would cry all the way home. And that is not how it is now. I know you will make yourself better!

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