It finally dawned on me one mistake I made last year. I don't regret it, really. I mean, we try stuff and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
My mistake? Thinking it was MY TIME to find "balance".
I know, I know. Balance is a "good thing". I agree.
At the right time.
But for me, it was too soon. Or at least, for "my" definition of balance, and how that played out in my life.
FOCUS:
act of concentrating interest on something
center of interest or activity
pay particular attention to
revolve around
zoom in on
focal point
to zero in
pinpoint
essence
nucleus
concern
theme
heart
topic
gist
hub
I'm working on re-focusing... on letting go of the extra fluff that fritters away my time and energy and doesn't get me any closer towards my goals. If I keep diluting my energies, it will only drag this out longer than it needs to be!
I want to fill my mind with things that help keep me on point. That'll be different for each of us, according to our belief systems. But here are some quotes that I believe are true, and can apply to most of us:
"The first requisite for success is the ability to apply your physical and mental energies to one problem incessantly without growing weary." --Thomas Edison
"You'll never achieve extraordinary results by taking average measures." --Skwigg
"Commitment is doing what is necessary, interest is doing what is convenient." --John Assaraf
"Your life is entirely what you decide it is. The universe starts in your head and spreads out into the world. Change what happens in your head and the universe changes." --W Mitchell
"To succeed, you need to take that gut feeling in what you believe in and act on it with all your heart." --Christy Borgeld
"What I've found is that you can't make a half-hearted swipe at this and expect to be successful. You really need to throw yourself into what you're doing, commit to making big changes and do everything in your power to stick with them." --Jack Sh*t
"Some define obsession as negative. I say it's how you get things done." --Mark Twight
"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice." --Wayne Dyer
"Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus." --Alexander Graham Bell
"My ability to concentrate and work toward that goal has been my greatest asset." --Jack Nicklaus
"I've always believed that if you put in the work, the results will come. I don't do things half-heartedly because I know if I do, then I can expect half-hearted results." --Michael Jordan
"Don't join an easy crowd, join a successful crowd where the expectations are high and the payoff is great." --Jim Rohn
If you read those quotes and instead of finding some that resonate with you, you start arguing with the fine points, then you want to be right more than you want to change. Eat the meat an' spit out the bones. :-D
Bottomline, our success on this weight loss/fitness/health journey isn't just going to "happen". If we don't make it a priority, if we don't MAKE time to invest in our thinking, our mindset, then we are being unrealistic. We are playing with it... dabbling at it. We are a-hoping an' a-wishing and waiting for that "miracle" to just happen, without being willing to pay the price.
The price? Time.
Time spent whatever is the best way for each of us, individually, to improve our mindset. To throw out the old crappy thinking patterns, and replace them ON PURPOSE with truth:
That we DO have a choice.
That we CAN make healthy changes.
That we are NOT victims.
Clean out the MindJunk
and sow healthy ThoughtSeeds!
Don't know where to start?? If you don't already have resources, here's some I really like:
And a new one I just recently found, thanks to Margene at Believing It's Possible is Half The Battle:
Tommy Newberry, author of The 4:8 Principle (which I bought and LOVE LOVE LOVE)
We've all heard it a million times: What you focus on will grow.
Focus on the "fact" that you are a "food addict", and that reality will gain power.
Focus on the "fact" that you have a choice to HEAL and be FREE from being a food addict, and guess what??
Yep, that reality gains power.
I'm speaking from personal experience. No, I have no double-blind studies to quote, or letters after my name. But smarter folks than I am teach this, and I've found it is TRUE!! I refuse to keep claiming that label of Food Addict any longer. No more cop-outs.
Oh, you say you're just being "honest", and you are not in denial?? Okay, fine. How's that working for you?? :-O
I won't argue with an individual about it, since we each have to find what works for US. But if it's NOT working for you to insist on wearing that label, then why not consider changing your mind?? Why not consider that every time you insist that you ARE still a food addict, you are giving away your power to a label, and making it your identity?
Why not at least say I USED to be a food addict, and am now busting free!! That's what I say, and now it's TRUE in my mind and life.
Try it.. what have you got to lose... except pounds. :-D
From Dr Phil's book: "Change your thinking to change your weight."
My verse for today: "But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy."
My quote for today: "Let us not be content to wait and see what will happen, but give us the determination to make the right things happen." --Peter Marshall
Enjoy the Journey,
Loretta
=^..^=
DAY 872
9 comments:
Great post so true
Oh wow!
You always bring me back to the core of the issue.
When I fail to track I'm not on focus, I'm slack and make poor decisions.
Last night I began to want a little fruit mince pie for supper. But .... I'd already written up my tracker as another day wheat/gluten free so no cheating.
Whatever it takes to make it work for you do it!
This quote
"Some define obsession as negative. I say it's how you get things done." --Mark Twight ---
challenges me in ways I don't want to think about... Now why do you think that is?
With this kind of thinking/post I have great hope. We are building a people who succeed. You are one of the world changers... giving hope to all who are obese and have eating disorders. Between us we are making a true pathway for others to follow and destroying the myth that an exceedingly high percentage of weight losers regain and more.
I'm still learning .... thanks to you and the internet.
Blessings.
You're dumping the MindJunk and cultivating the WillSpunk. I like it!
I told my hubby in 2010 when I decided to commit FULLY to the weight loss that I needed this as my foundational project so I could do the other things I wanted before I died, things that my fat and health issues impeded. I knew it would mean some other stuff would go to lower priorities or out of the picture so I had the energy to fully focus on fighting fat. It worked for me. I told hubby that once I was in a maintenance stride (which I hope to be in later this year), then I would begin to transition to my next big project, the next focus priority, and see if I cold balance that priority with the weight loss (essential for continued NOT regaining).
It's hard. It gets harder if you take on more projects than energy or will or mind allow. There ARE studies that we only have so much concentration/willpower. And it exhausts. And if we try to do too many decisions, we exhaust ourselves. So, the fewer decisions we have to make (ie, a simplified plan that we can go on autopilot ASAP) the better. Fewer decisions, higher willpower. :D
On to getting rid of more MindJunk and poweringon the WillSpunk!!!
oh hooo...sounds like me. If it stung for someone...that is usually the person who needs it most..two months ago..this probably would have stung as I was seeking 'balance'...in my speak it was "I am tired of making this all about the weight loss" which led to eating that was less than stellar. great post loretta
This post made me realize why I gained 35 pounds this past year.
I refused to structure my behavior in such a way as to combat food addiction. I chose to behave as tho I were normal,and in the process, disarmed myself in the middle of the fight.
I think that you were talking about using "food addiction" as a label that allows a person the excuse to continue abusing food. "I can't help it, because I'm an addict." mentality. If you were, I agree with you about that.
But the other side of recognizing that one is, indeed, a food addict is that it can provide the knowledge needed to choose appropriate weapons for the fight.
One can roll over under the label, using it as an excuse, or one can use the label to know how to fight appropriately and with wisdom. You must have run into the roll over and excuse group.
I did neither. I gave lip-service to the addiction's existemce, but acted as tho I didn't believe it applied to me. Leaving myself unarmed.
This bit of painful insight came at the perfect time for me. I've been on-plan as far as food goes since Monday, but the last two days I could feel myself slipping.
I know that feeling and it happens right before I make excuses to eat things I shouldn't. I was asking God what was up with this. I'm eating all of the right stuff in the right amounts, so --> What is wrong!?
Haha. I thought that I would now had to redo the plan I had develped. Except that I don't.
I just have to FOLLOW IT AS WRITTEN.
You see, I've been following it as tho I were normal. Ignoring the built in restraint and structure that an addict needs--cause I'm not an addict, don't need that structure.
Yeah. I do.
Alright, this is too long. Sorry. And I need to think about my plan, now, to make sure it's clear of food-normal pitfalls.
Greeeaat. You wrote a post resisting claims of food addiction and it made me realize that I was erroniously NOT claiming addiction. sighhh.
Deb
ANNE: I agree, that's a good quote. I'm glad it helped. :-)
MIR: "I needed this as my foundational project so I could do the other things I wanted before I died, things that my fat and health issues impeded." Oh, that's exactly how I feel! I just wasn't making much headway trying to spread out my focus so thin.
CHRIS: Yep, me too. Now I'd rather just press on hard and make great progress, and get ON with it. :-)
DEB: Hey, you are welcome to write a book anytime. I love your insights. Yeah, part of what I was thinking about was the way the label is used as an excuse, even if sometimes a subtle one. And I went thru my own time of admitting, acknowledging my addictive behavior; owning it; learning; finding coping strategies... And like I said, if it's working for anyone to stay on that path, I have no problem. My emphasis was for those it was NOT working for, that continued to make this their identity, and it was poisoning their thinking. Crippling their ability to stand up straight, look this enemy in the eye and tell it where to get off!
I no long accept that label for myself. I believe words have such power, that I refuse to shackle myself forever to a destructive label... in my mind, anyway. I choose to see myself as a Recovering food addict, one who is breaking those chains, and refusing to give them power over me any more. And for me, it starts with how I describe myself.
But see... I totally get it that you or others might have differing perceptions and definitions, etc. This was just for those who still struggle, and might be open to trying a different way of thinking, one that might change how they see themselves... a way to empower them!
As always, your comments make me think. :-)
Getting rid of the tv in the bedroom has helped me. I was eating and watching tv; but now not so much. We only have one and it's downstairs.
DAILYSEEKING: Oh, that boob tube! Yes, even now I have to be hyper vigilant when I watch my few favorite shows. I instantly want to eat something... I suppose from years and years of "behavior grooves" being cut into my brain! I mean, I can actually feel it hit, and have to tell it NO!
I dunno if that will ever go away or not, but at least we have a choice now, and are aware.
That was a good move, getting the tv out of the bedroom if that was a trigger. I hope you are doing well in this fresh new shiny year. ;-)
This post really resonates with me. A couple of things that stuck out...
1. Needing to be right - the more I let go of this, the easier my life is.
2. Attachment to labels - there are people who are very attached to what they have as opposed to who they are...the more I let go of my labels, the easier my life is.
Excellent post Loretta!
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