Thursday, December 2, 2010

DAY476 Hot 100 Update & Other Stuff

Good Afternoon Journal & Friends,

Yesterday I wrote about my Monthly Scale Adventures, and how I said I was "over it". Uh huh... so I thought! I guess I wasn't as "over it" as I would have liked. We can say all the right things, and we can try to believe them, knowing they are true. But sometimes there is this lag time between how I WANT to be, and how I really AM still.


That's what happened to me... I discovered it bothered me more than I had realized. How did I know?? By my actions. 

Words are fine... but actions tell me what I really believe. Yesterday, after I had posted about my gain and my slow progress, I made a batch of flourless, sugar-free pumpkin mini-muffins. They were delicious! So delicious, in fact, that I blew my WHOLE day's calorie budget on them!! Aaaaagh!!!

Later I did an autopsy on the incident, to find out what happened. And yes... that's when I realized that it was still bugging me... my lack of progress these last 6 months. :-(

I was down. Sad. Disappointed in myself. And then I came here and found that my sister, Karen, had left me a poem. It was perfect. 

Here it is, for those of you who missed it:

Dear Sister:
I've seen you when you cried,
And when you tried to hide;
You'd always say you failed,
When the desired boat had sailed.
But that was yester-year,
After you shed many a tear;
A swan song now you sing,
Grasping on to everything!
You will not be put down,
Nor will you cast the frown,
You push away the strife,
And plunge straight into life!
For this you will prevail,
Though some might see a snail,
But the tortoise beat the hare-
On the race that was a dare!
Thank you so much, Karen!
And for those of you who don't know, Karen has started a sequel to her story Two Moons Over Darius at her blog Musings, Memos And Melancholy.  It's some cool sci-fi stuff. So if you enjoy short stories, you might want to stop by. Here is where to start, with Part 1 of "Two Moons Over Darius". 
Back to yesterday's post... It occurred to me that I might have offended some readers who are "smaller, younger and healthier." If that happened, I am so sorry I didn't explain better. It was NOT meant as criticism. If anything, I sometimes get a tad bit jealous of your ability to kick it in the exercise department and accelerate your weight losses! I am tickled pink when you have successes. I admire that you "get it" so much younger than I did. 

I wrote that note to my friend, who is my same age, as a reminder to her, and ME, not to compare, because our circumstances are different. I fall into the comparison trap too often, and it never leads anywhere good. So I need to remind myself. I see others tearing it up with exercise, and my MIND wants to do that too, but my Body can't keep up. So... I do what I can do.

Okay, Hot 100 Update... been a blue kind of week.


Until my Muffin Meltdown, I was doing pretty good foodwise. Exercise took a hit thanks to my hand infection, but the vitamins were better. 

Overall, I'm just saying: here's to a great rest of December!

And I'll end there, right there I'll end.
For if I continue, I shall be long of wind.
(with apologies to Dr Seuss) 


From Dr Phil's book: "When you choose the behavior, you choose the consequences."

My verse for today: "Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy."

My quote for today: "So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads." --Dr Seuss

Enjoy the Journey,

Loretta
=^..^=


20 comments:

Anne H said...

Beautiful!

Ms. PJ Geek said...

We've been in similar places lately/ All I can say is this too shall pass. The wisdom from my therapist today ..it seems so simple. Turn it over to God. Turn it over. Self will only gets us so far.

Deb Willbefree said...

It's a new month and the last new month of the year--a month to finish well. Deb

MargieAnne said...

Sorry you had a muffin reaction.

I guess we wouldn't be here if we didn't do things like that.

Just a thought. When was the last time? I bet those moments are becoming further apart.

Left a note on yesterday's post you might like to see too.

Blessings

Thosewhominddontmatter Thosewhomatterdontmind said...

I love that seuss quote so much it is tattoo'd on my leg.


xo

pinkvision said...

That's so true. It's the sum of the actions that count, not the one. The collective actions over time bring forward progress, and the odd muffin blow-out can be countered. :)

I love that Cat in the Hat picture!

Debbi Does Dinner Healthy said...

I've been depressed about my lack of progress over the last 6 months to so I get it. Great poem! So nice of her to give it to you. So sorry about the muffin binge. That is why I have sworn off baking! I tend to do that WAY too much. I made chocolate covered pretzels for the kids and ate WAY too many of them!

Karen said...

Pumpkin did me in last week. How did you get a blue challenge button? I want one!

Michele said...

I have been in a slump, too. But slow and steady is the way. Agreed: take out the muffin mishap and it was a good week!

Tami said...

Loved the poem and I can relate to the muffin episode. I am sure many of us can!

There is still 4 weeks left to see improvement!

Joy said...

Keep at it my friend. If we stay focused and do what we know to do...every day...we get closer to our goals. Just have to keep fighting and stay focused!!!

You can do this...I BELIEVE IN YOU!!

Mrs. Crumpet said...

Mmm I have been eating well some days and other days not so well, dont worry be patient with yourself, your getting there. :) Ohh and I tried to feed the hamster on your blog, and then I tried filling its cage with nuggets but it wouldnt let me, its stopped at like 6 nuggets. LOL hope that random ADD moment from yours truly made ya smile

midlife_swimmer said...

Trust the process Loretta, do not get down comparing yourself to others. You have come so far! It is a lifestyle, not a diet and you have your whole life to live this way and accomplish your goals. I for one remember you wanting to get down low enough to weigh in at the doctors scale last winter/spring and I felt so much joy for you and remembered my own similar moment when getting below 350.

I like that you process everything, but I hope you often focus on this journey as something like a friendly country road where you might stop on the side from time to time, you might take a few steps back, you might get distracted on occasion... but when you look up and pay attention the road is still there just waiting for you to continue AT YOUR PACE.

M Pax said...

This is where I would fake it and behave it until I believed it. It takes time.

It may not seem like it, but you're doing well.

There's this saying - don't throw out the baby with the bath water. So, don't. :)

Concentrate on what you're getting right. That's what I do when I feel in a funk.

Will go check out your sister's blog. Cool!

Shannon @ BetterNextTime said...

I love that you call it an "autopsy". :)

What a beautiful poem, and a great sister for knowing just what you needed.

PeacefulBird said...

Your autopsy is so cool, Loretta! I'm proud of you for this discovery, pleased to know ya! And, like you, I sometimes fall into the comparison trap when it comes to exercise. I start beating myself about not going to the gym or running or whatever... that's when the treats become nearly irresistable, huh?! So you make a good point here, probably for quite a few of us. Thanks!

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

Ugghh! So annoying when stuff we think we're 'over' is really just simmering beneath the surface. You ARE making great progress, even though it doesn't always feel like it. Keep at it. I know you will.

There's an award waiting for you over at my blog!

Stephanie said...

I've been feeling the same way, Loretta, so I sympathize with you. Hang in there, my friend. We'll get there. *HUGS*

Kat said...

I can very much relate to this post. The thing that helps me the most is reflecting on how far I have come on this journey. It has been slow going, but I am grateful for the progress. You have come so far on your journey Loretta. I always enjoy reading your inspirational posts!

South Beach Steve said...

December is a new month. We can't change anything about yesterday, but we can appreciate the good we have done thus far. We can't change a thing about tomorrow yet, although it is good to plan for that. Today, however, we can change. we can make it the best day possible.

Loretta, make it a great day!

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