Good afternoon Journal & Friends,
It's been an interesting week! The "word" of the week for me seems to have been Balance.
After 490 days, you'd think I would have that one nailed. I'm reading a good book that says the key to effectiveness is balance.
On my particular journey, that would mean a balance between the internal work and the external work. The introspective part, and the DOING part.
Honestly, I had to re-read that section over and over, until I finally saw how it applied to me, and the mistakes I've been making.
The reason I said it's been an interesting week is because I've had a very NICE week, with less turbulence and drama, yet haven't gotten that balance thing right yet. I've been focusing on the stuff I mentioned last week, stuff that affects the mental part. I even made yet another checklist to remember to squeeze it all in:
- chapter from my current book
- motivational flipcards
- review goals list outloud
- my music
- visualization at bedtime
- daily thru-the-Bible-in-one-year plan
- chapter from an art book
- visit an art blog
And it's been so much fun! I am totally enjoying it. I feel energized, like my spirit is being fed.
Yet... I let the exercise dwindle, and didn't write down calories every day. Aaggh! Out of balance again.
One thing that was wonderful this week: I got to go to church last Sunday for the first time in over a year. It was glorious!
Our church leased a building that used to be a furniture store, and they finally finished the renovations. They kept the handicapped bathroom, so now I can go (no pun intended). :-)
Being morbidly obese robs us in so many ways. This is just one more reason to work towards health and strength.
And once again I have stepped outside my Comfort Zone... I suppose it was time to shake things up again. I was asked to be a Greeter at the door at church... and I said yes! Eek!! That brings up all sorts of insecurities.
Like... my lifelong embarrassment over my teeth. I was given antibiotics as a child that caused spotted discoloration on my teeth. It is all the way through, not surface, so bleaching has no effect. It would take many thousands of dollars in porcelain veneers to fix.
And until recently, I have never stood up for myself enough to go into debt over something so "vain". Yet I have wanted this all my life, to get them fixed. At times over the years people have said hurtful things to me about their appearance. And really... our smile is the first thing people notice.
Confession time? Okay... the ONLY thing I have EVER fixed when I post a photo of myself is my teeth. It is that much of an embarrassment to me.
So... for me to be a Greeter?? Yes... for me it is a big deal. I want to make it about others, making them feel welcome and not about me and my self-consciousness.
Growth, I hope. :-)
From Dr Phil's book: "You must never relax your watchfulness over your thoughts, feelings and actions."
My verse for today: "This is the Lord, we trusted in him; let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation.
My quote for today: "A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life." --William Arthur Ward
Enjoy the Journey,
Loretta
=^..^=
13 comments:
You're just awesome, Loretta. I would love to have been able to see you at that door and give you a great big hug. I'm so glad you were able to go to church today. :)
It can be tough to keep balanced! Sometimes I'm amazed I don't topple over!
You know, it has never occurred to me that people doctored their blog photos! I am so naive. chuckle. Now, I'll always wonder when I see those shots.
All I can say is that your teeth are very nicely shapted and straight! I bet that's real. :}
Deb
Hi. It would be worth it to fly over and be greeted by you at the door. Wish it was possible, but not to be right now.
I wonder if others notice your teeth as much as you do?
Love and blessings
I never even thought about being able to change photo's, probably because i've never done it :) I do think sometimes we are more worried about something that others don't think is anything!
I think it's awesome that you post your picture on the blog. I'm still lurking in the warm waters of anonymity, 'cause I like it here. But I admire people who are brave enough to be themselves in public. Greeters are included in that category as well :)
I am proud of you of stepping out in front of your insecurities to go for something that is important to you.
It's like when I started at PMO - I didn't know squat. But I wanted to be there so much, I didn't care and told myself to shutup. :) It lit me up. It was so worth stepping outside the zone.
Look for the rewards and the positivity. You will find many of them in this new endeavor. Yay! There are always jerks. Ignore them.
yes, I know about balance
the difficulty of it
I think of it as a dyke
with my fingers in holes
since I have only 10 fingers
I can only plug 10 holes
at any one time
but new one open
water gushes in
so I remove a finger
from a hole and plug the new
always taking care of one
and letting another go
if I exercise
then something else suffers
that's the nature of life
I think
we can not be perfect
we work toward balance
but we don't fault ourselves
for failing to achieve perfection
good for you
about saying yes!
go in debt
get the teeth fixed
you're worth it
my teeth are
very, very crooked
like you
I've always been embarassed
like you
I've never felt worthy
to go in debt
may we both
follow my encouragement
to do it on faith
faith that we might be worthy
after all.
You are soooo worth it and more.
At the end of our little journey here,
it won't be about the debt,
or the cake we didn't get to eat....
but about the good things we did get to
have and love and enjoy!
Awesome Loretta - maybe the "greeting people"
opportunity is a metaphor for growth....
the kind you don't notice but other people
see it shine through!
You will be the most awesome greeter. I'd love to be greeted by you with a huge hug. You have done so awesomely. Keep up the great work. Keep posting these amazing post.
Take care Loretta and have an amazing day. God Bless you my friend.
Good for you Loretta and great for all the people that get to be welcomed by you. Life is a balencing act, good luck with yours.
I was just talking to someone the other day about the 'vain' things we do now that we didn't do before, when we were unhappy with our bodies (being overweight). There is a lot of upkeep when you start trying to keep up...
I say spend the money and get your teeth fixed. I had this problem a few years back- I have 2 veneers that were yellow because I got them when I was a teenager, before whitening was an option and everyone had yellow teeth. Once bleaching became a normal thing my toothpaste naturally whitened all my teeth- except these two caps. I became SUPER self conscious of my smile because it looked like I had polka dot teeth.; A white one, a yellow one. A white one, another yellow one. It was horrific and it got to the point that I wouldn't smile if I could help it, and if I did, I tried to do it closed mouth.
I finally sucked it up and did paid the money to get the veneers replaced with whiter veneers. Put it on my credit card. It's paid off now and I have a fabulous smile that I get compliments on all the time. And I LOVE IT. Who cares if everyone else likes my smile? I do; I want to smile all the time (and I do). I would do it again in a second- no question. I say do it- you'll be happy you did; and you'll feel better about yourself. Why not treat yourself to one thing that will make you happy?
XO!
D
Sometimes it can be good to step out of our comfort zones. A time for learning something new! Balance I understand. It's something to make a daily effort to achieve. Amazing how we can get knocked off when we think we have a handle on it already. Atleast you recognized it and adjusted. Keep it up! : )
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