Friday, December 31, 2010

DAY 505 Bye Bye Hot 100, Hello New Year!

Hi there Journal & Friends,

This is it, the final update for Steve's Hot 100 Challenge!  
When we started, it seemed FOREVER away til the end. And now... it's over. 

I have mixed emotions. I'm glad I joined. Thanks, Steve!

Yet... at the top of this post, the little blinkie says: We did it! Well, it was hard to put that up... I don't feel like I deserve it. "THEY did it, but not ME", my inner critic says.

Being totally honest... I bombed out on this challenge. I really did. 

At least statistics-wise... and really, that WAS the whole point. To list your goals, then achieve them. 

Not cop out by saying... "Oh, but look at all this other stuff I learned (while I was busy flubbing up my challenge goals)." So, even though I DID learn stuff along the way... I'm just owning it. I flubbed up. Period.

I had only 3 goals: calories, exercise and vitamins. 

The only one that survived my hand surgery was taking vitamins. Well, gee, that WAS the easy one. ;-)

The next best one was calories. Had a few rough days. Most were so-so. But I ended up rebelling at counting them... so all I can say is... look at the gain for Dec 1st weigh in! That says it all. As Dr Phil would ask: And how's that workin' for ya??

The exercise: yes, I used my hand surgery as an excuse. Then the hand infection. Now this cold I caught from Jim. Never fear... there will always be many excuses from which to choose. 

What's that saying? "If you WANT to, you will find a way. If you do NOT want to, you will find an excuse."  Uh huh. Guilty as charged.

I'm disappointed, yes. But even though the previous paragraphs might sound harsh, I'm not "too" bummed out. It's just I am trying to be honest with myself, and not downplay and justify my lack of focus and progress, in order to make myself feel better about it.

In fact, with all the "other" stuff I've been learning lately, I feel pretty good, actually. I visited Disappointmentville briefly, then picked up my bags and blew town! I've moved on!

I am sooo ready for the new year, and my new goals and new attitude. I am excited for what's to come.

Even though I didn't do too well (okay, I did lousy) at this challenge, I appreciate all the time and effort Steve put in leading it. If you are looking for a challenge some time, I would highly recommend catching one led by Steve at Log My Loss. He is very supportive, and it's fun being a part of one of his challenge communities, and I really enjoy his weekly motivational videos. You can visit Steve HERE.

Tonite I have a date with Dick Clark, since MyGuy ALWAYS snoozes in the New Year. See ya next year!

From Dr Phil's book: "It will happen because you have made the decision to step up and do what it takes to have what you want."

My verse for today: "But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him."

My quote for today: "May your heart always be joyful. May your song always be sung." --Bob Dylan

Enjoy the Journey,



Debbie said...

I love your post this morning and I am glad to see that I am not the only one up early. I have made some new year resolutions myself and I am going to stick with them. Happy New Year..

Anonymous said...

LOL at the treadmill picture! Too often, that's my method of meeting my goals, too. letter of the law and all that, but still funny. :D

Here's to starting well!


Ms. PJ Geek said...

oh, but you learned a lot in this year and with this challenge. Where would you have been without having goals and without the challenge?
That is what it is all about : try, either succeed or fail , but keep trying-keep doing.

I looked back over my blog back in Dec 09 and Jan 10 posts and I think you were , if not the first, one of the first commenters on my blog. Thank you for that. You have inspired and affected many people for the good in 2010. Thank you for that!.....That goes a long way in God's eyes.

So the scale is up? My scale was up too a drastic # of pounds. My scale is back down. Water, poop, inflammation, cortisol-stress, and yeah--eating crap will do that to you and make the scale # jump. But what other progress did you make? Plenty. I'm not saying it's ok to stagnate with our weight. Because you and I are both feeling like we have to do something to save our life and the quality of our lives, we have to sharpen up our focus and do it . Here's to another New Year by the grace of God. !

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry about the Challenge, but just put it behind you and move forward. :) I hope 2011 is full of happiness and blessings for you and yours, Loretta! *Hugs*

Michele @ Healthy Cultivations said...

Even though you didn't do exactly as you hoped, I think it's a good thing that you can acknowledge it without too much self-flagellation. Awareness of what we'd like to do differently is the first step toward doing so. On that note, I wish you a productive, self-aware 2011.

Lanie Painie said...

I didn't really do so well on the Hot 100 challenge, either. At least not 100%, but the challenge kept me on track a lot more than I would've been w/o it. A weekly reminder of what I'm SUPPOSED to be doing was helpful. It was also a lesson in goal setting and goals that are not always realistic.

Baby Stepping said...

I bombed on the challenge too, but I am grateful for the lovely people I met on the journey!!!


Jules - Big Girl Bombshell said...

It's all in the CHALLENGE...not the result! Happy new year to you........

Polar's Mom said...

Failing/bombing at this challenge would have been to not even try to begin with. New Year, new steps, right? Clean slate.

Polar's Mom

mamajuliana said...

New Year...we can start over again, right?

Julie said...

I tried, I didn't finish with all my goals achieved but I didn't flunk all either. It's a good thing there's 2011 to work on things. That goes for you too, another year to learn more and achieve more. You've done well so far, time to get going again.
Take care and have a Happy New Year. God Bless you my friend.

Debbi Does Dinner Healthy said...

If losing weight is something that you REALLY want then you need to just do it. You are over 300 lbs, sweets, sugars and desserts should be the first to go. Entirely. In order for you to maintain that weight, you are taking in HUGE amount of calories. To achieve success you have to reduce the amount of calories, pure and simple. I wish you success but you'll only have it if you truly want it. Just wanting it isn't going to do it, you have to DO something about it. Today.

Christine said...

NOw the shout out is up. We all go through down periods. As an artist, there is nothing more frustrating that having your hands screwed up. I watch you loretta. And know you will pick up and move on. It's for you, and you know it.
Thanks for being an inspiration to me.

PeacefulBird said...

Is that your two kitties on the treadmill? What a cute picture... exactly how I feel about treadmills, only why don't them make them a little longer so my feet don't hang off the end?

Just for the record, I totally support being real... ya bomb, ya say it. What I don't support in any way is whipping ourselves when we bomb. Say it and re-focus (or a PJ says, sharpen our focus) and move forward again. I know that is what you are doing. So here's a big high five for you in the year ahead! Cheers and hugs, PB

Lori said...

Loretta - sometimes what we have trouble with in a challenge is what helps us learn more about ourselves. Never look at anything as a defeat or that you didn't do well. Use it as a springboard to make new changes! Happy New Year!

Tricia said...

happy new year!

Twix said...

Lol, at the Dr. Phil quote! And this one from MAD TV... the psych doc has two little words for you "STOP IT!"

That lil puppy up there, I want to put a leash on it and go for a walk to cheer it up! :D

Looking forward to the new year too. Have a HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!

Buttercup said...

"May your heart always be joyful" in the new year. Peace, health and happiness to you!

Anne H said...

You have lots of good blogging buddies here, Miss L!
Here's to another year of sharing!
Onward and downward! As they say....

Anonymous said...

Okay. I just have to say this. Debbie Dinner was way out of line.

I know that you cut out sweets a very long time ago. And although you have obviously, and admittedly, overeaten, I don't for one minute think that you've been indulging in sweets and desserts.

While too much "good" food can get us as fat as too many sweets, one ought not assume what was and was not eaten by another. And, of course, I know from personal experience that gluten today will cause a 5 to 7 pound gagin for me tomorroe. Ain't no 16,000 to 25,000 calorie overload happenin in one day, either. Math is not perfect despite claims to the contrary.

I have noticed several "tough love" comments by Debbie Dinner on the blogs lately. I am not amused, moved or motivated by them. I am, instead, offended. Enough. Quit disquising abuse and frustration venting as help.

I'm sorry you had to read that comment, Loretta.



Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Christina said...

That sucks you flubbed on the challenge. I know how committed to this journey you usually are, and I know that you've mentioned medical issues are sometimes responsible for not allowing the scale to show your hard work. It sounds like you messed up, you recognized it, you learned from it, and you're moving forward. I have a feeling you haven't been stuffing your face with twinkies and pie, so forget that rude comment someone else left. We aren't here to judge each other, but we especially are not here to judge people about whom we clearly know nothing. Happy new year!

Rettakat said...

DEBBI DOES DINNER HEALTHY: Hi Debbi, and thanks for the pep talk. We are all so busy, I appreciate the fact that you took the time to comment.

You said some good things. But you also made a couple of assumptions... I realize you probably don't read all my posts, or at least not too far back. Or you would already know I don't eat sugar or flour. Not since March of 2009. There are lots of people who ARE able to handle those in moderation, instead of taking the all-or-nothing approach. It's just that I am not one of them.

However, I would not presume to tell everyone that MY way is THE way for everyone else.

You assume I must be taking in HUGE amounts of calories. You are right, in that we must reduce the calories. To match our own needs. I am almost 60, in a wheelchair, and even though I exercise, I just can't burn the calories the way someone younger and more active can.

When I count calories, I do better. I've been fighting that lately, and need to just embrace it as a helpful tool. Like you said, I need to just DO that.

I find that for me, around 1600 calories is right for now, keeps the metabolism going, yet not causing that starving rebound effect. I rarely have gone over 2000 calories all of 2010; once I think I hit about 2200. So, I'm not sure what you consider HUGE amounts of calories. To me, that is huge, in relation to reaching my goals.

I can remember in years past indulging in huge binges that sometimes lasted for days... 4000, 5, 6 or 7 thousand calories or more. Eating til physically ill.

I have not done that, either, since March of 2009. I am changing, from the inside out. Not from a legalistic mindset that says "no sweets, sugar or desserts" (I just choose NOT to eat sugar, since I react to it).

So, to say to someone who is on a quest to change the habits of a lifetime, "IF you REALLY want it" sounds offensive, ya know?. It feels shallow, like someone who doesn't understand the deep, and powerful hold an addiction can have in a life, and the monumental thing it is to break free and overcome it. It is not a straight, linear path. There are twists and turns. It is deeply painful emotionally. A lifetime of people not understanding, of getting that old "just eat less" simplistic advice. It's not about the food... it's about inside, the mind and emotions, changing from the inside out for it to be permanent.

And yes, detours and excuses... my mind plays tricks on me like anyone else. And I have to learn and change, adjust and try again.

But to say "IF" you really want it?? I would not be here, putting my heart out on the line for all the world to take potshots at if I did not really want it. Do I make mistakes? Of course. And I am constantly learning from all of you. I appreciate that part of this blogging thing so much.

If you go "by the numbers" that everyone likes to quote (ie, to maintain 337 pounds, you must be eating about 3700 calories per day) then you would be making the classic mistake of assuming that everyone has the same physical metabolism and makeup as you do. Be careful evaluating people that way. It doesn't always hold true; we are not machines; there are variables.

For a HEALTHLY, active female, the multiplier for that formula is 11, and 12 for men (11 x Your Weight = the number of calories needed to maintain that weight). My own multiplier is much lower, for a number of reasons. I wish I knew how to increase it! :-{

But the PRINCIPLES hold true for us all:
Find our own personal levels, what works for US personally, then DO what it takes to reach our goals within our own circumstances.

On that, you are so right. We--I--need to DO it. So true!

Thank you Debbi, for caring enough to comment. I hope you have a wonderful New Year.

Karen Elizabeth Brown said...

Loretta, you covered most of the things I wanted to comment on about calories in - calories out assumptions. However, you missed the medically documented fact that hormones (and the lack of them in older adults) makes it a lot harder for anyone to metabolize those calories. When you have the cards stacked against you, you have to play the game a little differently then a 21 year old. Cut yourself a little slack (and that's not a cop out) and have a Happy New Year!
We are both having birthdays this year that aren't the most exciting. My son told me I was old a few days ago and I almost believed him. Then I remembered that age is an attitude also! So I'm not old yet and I hope you feel young at heart too!

Rettakat said...

Thank you everyone, for such wonderful comments. I appreciate it more than you could ever know.

It's always a risk to put our heart honestly out there on a public blog. We never know what kind of a response we will get... and must just let go of trying to control that. People have a right to respond however they want.

But we choose to take that risk because we are on a journey to a healthier life, and this is a part of it. The good, the bad, the ugly. And I am determined to take it all and turn it for good, to learn and grow.

And I am also determined that 2011 will be a year filled with progress!! Let's make it a fantastic year! :-D


Anonymous said...

Well at least you took your vitamins, I failed in every way!! LOL Oh well. I watched a show on MTV called "I used to be fat" and it really inspired me!! I hope to use some her strategies to stay on the exercise track which is hardest for me. I think 2011 is my year. It will be fantastic.

Debbi Does Dinner Healthy said...

I certainly didn't mean to offend. I wasted the entire summer on my diet blog, wanting to lose weight but instead gaining. I wanted to lose weight, but was not willing to DO anything about it. I thought I was, but in reality, obviously wasn't doing anything productive. So for ME, it was wasting time. It was not the goal of MY blog to just "talk" about losing weight.

I didn't mean to presume with the sweets and desserts. I just know, from personal experience, that it would have been hard for me to maintain a weight over 300 lbs. without eating sweets and sugars. By sugars, I mean white bread type sugars as well. If you are successfully avoiding them, then great!

I do "believe in the numbers" but I in no way am an expert or know all the variables.

I maintained a weight over 300 lbs. for many, many years and lived in complete denial. Yes, I wanted to lose the weight but didn't actively DO anything about it. So when I say "if you REALLY want to lose weight", I mean to ask, "what are you actively doing about it". Yes, there is a lot to learn but at what point will weight loss become a priority? That is what I had to ask of myself.

I might be giving some "tough love" out there but I WISH that someone had done that with me earlier. I LOVE when someone leaves a blunt comment on my blog like "you haven't lose anything in a month, get off your butt and DO something!". I happen to like that. THAT gets me inspired and it WAKES me up and makes me think. I guess I was just hoping to "wake you up and make you think". If you are happy doing what you are doing, then I am happy for you. I only wish for people to be happy. Sounds corny but it really is.

Anonymous said...

It seems to me that "Debbie etc" is close to a starting point on this journey, without the years and years and years of self-evaluating, looking at the psychology of losing weight, how the body reacts (because of a "MEMORY REFLEX") after being down this road of losing weight, the literal, physical operation (calories in-calories out) AND individual aging and then the literal addictive quality of it..... that you have been down Loretta. To make this time permanent, we have to get away from, overcome, remind ourselves often "the all or nothing" addictive personality thinking very evident in our struggles before, as you have done Lorreta. I am convinced that even the "experts" that know a few of the things involved may not consider many of the others if they have not personally been down this road.

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