(If ya don't wanna read my rant, better not read today)
I hate spiders. Detest 'em. They are sneaky and silent. They hide, waiting to "get you" when you aren't looking. I didn't used to feel that way... until I was bit by a Brown Recluse spider a few years ago.
I found the bite on a Sunday morning, and by the time I saw my doctor Monday morning (oh yeah, the office staff was very annoyed at my demand for a last minute appointment, but I didn't care!) the venom had created a crater on my hip almost 3 inches across, and a 1/4 inch deep!
So spiders are on my hit list. Come into MY house... get squished.
I was getting ready to do dishes yesterday, and a big spider had the audacity to be IN my dishpan with the dirty dishes. Squish!!
Then it occurred to me... that unresolved issues are like spiders. You may not notice them, but they are there, waiting to strike.
Why did I think that?? Because the previous day I was totally P.O.'d over something, and instead of dealing with it, I said "oh screw it!" and overate. When I saw the spider yesterday, I also saw my anger, and my unresolved issue.
Oh, it wasn't a big deal. Not like what some I know are going through. In fact, I feel pretty stupid to have overeaten because of it! And eating a boatload of calories 2 days before my monthly weigh day?? Yep... not the most brilliant choice. So I deserve the 2 pound gain, putting me at 329. Sigh.
Am I still P.O'd?? Yes. But not over the original thing. Actually, I can't even remember what it was about!
If I am honest... and what's the use of doing a blog if I'm not... I am feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.
If I only talk about my "successes" here, I'm criticized for not being honest or "realistic", or whatever. If I share things I'm learning or discovering along the way, I'm criticized for being a phoney and having "aha" moments and just talking but not doing. And if I DO talk about my stumbles and don't have the numbers to put up, I'm criticized for "not being serious".
Pissed off?? Ya think??
The arrogance... the judgemental attitude... the hubris of some people, to insinuate that the only people that should have a "weight loss" blog are those that have their act all together!!
What about the REST of us?? Those that are ON our way, learning as we go? Making mistakes, but never quitting? Determined to hang in there no matter what, until we hammer out a way that works for us? Until we reach that place where it flows and we have CONSISTENT success??
Those of you who like to judge, just remember this: there was a time when YOU TOO, were at the beginning of your journey. If you had been blogging then, willing to expose your mistakes and share what you were learning as you went along, how would YOU feel if others who were farther along looked down their nose at you, and decided they didn't want to be contaminated by you? They would support you AFTER you got your act together, not before.
Pissed off still? Guess so. But I'm not overeating because of it. I am blogging it. And if you don't like that, don't read my blog. It's that simple!
My book quote for today: "If you want something bad enough, you have the power to make it happen - no matter what other people have to say..." --Richard Machowicz, Unleash the Warrior Within
My verse for today: "Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you."
My quote for today: "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." --Winston Churchill