Wednesday, May 25, 2011

MAY 25th In Search of My Priorities

Good afternoon Journal & Friends,

Still alive and kickin' here in the WET Pacific Northwest! We had a gully washer earlier, and now it can't decide if it wants to be rain, hail, thunder or sunshine... so it keeps switching back and forth. Joey kept running outside and watching it with a puzzled look on her face. 

I've been doing a lot of thinking the last few days. It all started with a painful... make that VERY painful cyst in my nether regions (sorry you fellas).  This is the second time in as many months. It swelled up... burst... bled... healed. Only to repeat. Only this time the closest lymph node was swollen, red and painful. 

Naturally I consulted Dr Google. And was horrified to read the word "lymphoma" among the possibilites. First, let me just say my doctor, this last Monday, said it was just a garden variety cyst. It figures. Yes, these are incredibly painful, but kinda common. We will have to wait to see if the infection drained out or whether it comes back. If yes, he will cut it open and drain it thoroughly. Great. Sumpthin to look forward to...

Anyway, the whole point of this post is that the minute I read about "lymphoma"... and I admitted to myself I am not immortal... and that things like this happen to people, even me... I asked myself what would I do with the time I had left?? My immediate answer was: Well, I wouldn't be spending my time writing a weight loss blog!!! I'm not a writer... I'm an artist!!!

See... the previous week I had read a blog where the writer was all excited about his new goals. It's a good blog... one I read fairly regularly. He said his goals were to get to 1000 followers... to write a book... and to have something to offer for sale through his blog. 

That's when it first hit me... uh... I didn't relate. Totally didn't relate. I rarely look at my follower numbers. I don't have a desire to write a weight loss book. And I don't want to sell stuff from my blog. Now, my art blog... sure, someday I'd like to sell prints and cards and such that could be a blessing to others... but not here. Here... freely I have received... freely I give.

So when the health scare hit, and I remembered my reaction to the blogger who WAS a writer... well, it got me to thinking. And that's why I haven't been here much. 

I've been wondering if I wanted to change my priorities. 
To post less. 
To shift how I spend my time. 

I've been reading a book by Stephen Covey, and he talks about spending our time, our lives, doing what really matters most to us. To "lean the ladder against the right wall." And it's different for each of us.

It's so important to find our purpose, our calling, what lights us up inside... and to reach for it. To not let doubts, fears and lies keep us from living our own "authentic" life.  I've been struggling lately with those doubts, and I think I'm winning.

I want to always remember my "WHY", my reason for doing this whole weight loss thing in the first place. I don't want to waste any more time being side-tracked by repeating the same old mistakes over and over. I want to get ON with it.

My original purpose was for my blog to help me stay focused. And it really did! I posted every day without fail for over a year. It's now almost ingrained, finally, to check with my goals and see if I'm on track. It really did work! I highly recommend it for anyone just starting out, or who wants to get back into the Focus Habit.

I'm not saying I am doing perfect. I never have done perfect. But I've made progress. And this blog has contributed to that progress. And all the wonderful people I've met along the way. That was such an added and surprising bonus!! I'm so thankful for all of you. 

I want to continue my blog... just not so often. But I do plan to visit ya'll and keep in touch! You are real to me, and I've become invested in your lives, and care what happens to you. :-)

From Dr Phil's book: "Are your thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes moving you closer to what you want?"

My verse for today: "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;  his love endures forever."

My quote for today: "I want to know God's thoughts... the rest are details." --Albert Einstein

Enjoy the Journey,


DAY 649


Anonymous said...

I think I wrote a couple of posts with this same theme a little while ago. It just hit me that I couidn't tie my days up in focusing on weight loss. Losing this weight is very important. But it cannot be my life. Not even if I'm saying that I'm losing wieght to live better. I still need to LIVE now...not just when the scale says the magic number.

It was my living that I was talking about in those posts...what was absorbing me and my energy and my thougts. Did I really want that to be weight loss? My answer was, "No."

I don't like a sink load of dishes. I don't like a smelly bathroom. I don't like months of dirty clothes piled up. So, I do what I need to do--even when I don't want to--to make sure that those things aren't a part of my home. Cleaning house does not consume me. Worrying about a clean house does not happen. I can think about other things, do other things. I simply have to put in the time needed. Same with weight loss, I think.

Sorry. That was long. All of that to say, Iget it. I don't want to fool myself into negligence and complacency about weight; I just don't want my efforts to lose weight be just another food obsession that steals my life.

But--don't you dare drop off the face of the earth!


Anonymous said...

P.S. Love that pup!

Anonymous said...

I will be looking forward to your posts. Love to read your thoughts! Take care and enjoy what you love to do!

colenic said...

I will miss you if you go away....will you start a blog with your art??? See you soon..

Ms. PJ Geek said...

I'm in a very Very similar place. While we progress in some ways, it may not be in the numbers or the sizes. Something I've noticed in some of long term , highly successful weight loss bloggers is a settling in to a middle ground. Not the extremes of eating disordered behavior and being out of control and not the extreme focus on calorie counting / calorie burns/ exercise/ numbers. Because life is so much more than this.

The recent prediction of rapture this last weekend and going through the towns in Alabama where some lives were destroyed while others left untouch made me think alot about what I want, who I want to be, how I want to spend my time. Which blogs I read and whose voices I listen to our next.

Sorry I went on and on about me..

Loretta, you should be selling your things already ...please

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

It sounds like you are settling into a nice balance for yourself. That is so important.
Whatever and however you find that things work out for you with this blogging thing, I will be happy to see what becomes of you and your dreams in the future. I just have a feeling that once you get to the right balance for you, you will be living an even more miraculous life than you can possibly imagine.

PeacefulBird said...

It's very important to revisit priorities from times to time... Like you I've thought many times, what am I doing reading and writing blog posts when I could be doing my art?

The answer for me, is that blogging is a cross between "down time" and "focus time," both of which FEED my art in some important way. I wouldn't do as much art, if I didn't blog about overeating and beadlust and now gardening. I know this.

I agree that letting go of the post-every-day thing is good for my art. Like you, I appreciate every one of my followers, but do not do anything special at all to attract them.

Now, about your blog... It's one of the most artful around... You practice your art here on your blog. And sorry, dear heart, you ARE a writer!

Leslie said...

Well said, Loretta. My relationship with my blog and all therein and out has changed a lot in the last months. I still enjoy it, and I still care about my blogging buddies - a lot. I don't want to give it up, but I also don't expect to become "a brand", famous, or a source of anything more than just my own thoughts, words and feelings. if they resonate with someone else, that's good. If not, that's fine.

Coming to peace with God, myself and my fellow humans is the real deal. The blog is a path - not the pinnacle. I'll always enjoy your posts!

Jules Big Girl Bombshell said...

Well said! I too am looking at my priorities of my actions versus my priorities of what I truly want. While mine are tied to my artistic, creative pursuits via writing, I found I got caught up in the "high" of friends, comments, the whole "virtual" pursuit and what's important, slowly started to fade. That's why I am taking a break from the whole posting thing. A little less talk, a lot more action as they say.

LOVE YOU and how closely are time frames seem to coincide! Amazing how that happens!

Anne H said...

Looking good, Miss Loretta!

JoAnn said...

Hi Loretta, I read your blog a lot. I just wanted to say, and not in a mean way but in a "helpful" way, that you're going around and around in circles here.

Read your blog carefully over the last 6 months. You're reposting new and interesting thoughts and ephiphanies that you actually had months ago. I'm only saying this to try to help you stop spinning your wheels and actually start accomplishing your goals.

Maybe list your goals and hang that list on the refrigerator to see everyday, then STICK WITH THEM!!!!! Believe me, I'm not perfect but I've realized that you have to stick with it long term to have any real success.

I read "All the Weigh" today where Kenz says the secret to her success is: "time, patience, and CONSISTENCY". I believe you also wrote about consistency recently.

If the blog helps you to reach your goals, than by all means blog. Is the blog a way of wasting time or procrastinating??? When I'm on the computer, that's what I feel like I'm doing, just prcrastinating and not doing anything to reach my goals.

You have so much talent and such a big heart. I really want to see you become healthy and able to move and walk and enjoy life before it's too late. Good luck and good health to you.

Tami said...

I'm Tami and I have a healthy living blog. Recently I had to decide to change the amount of time I spend blogging. It's difficult to find the right balance.

I have been a long time WW member and recently gained back a few pounds.

I decided to get a group of bloggers and others together and host a Small Change Challenge to kick off Summer in a healthy way!

Stop by and read about it and see if it is something you would like to join. The more people who join the more positive energy we will create!

Mary said...

You better not leave completely. Maybe switch to blogging about art? :D

I love reading your thoughts. It's always a wonderful journey with you.

I can understand refocusing. You know I did it.

I've missed you, but understand.

Weather has been the same here - cold & rainy then sunny & warm. Can't make up its mind.

PMO opens tonight. Don't know whether we'll get to see anything or not.

PS I'm having commenting issues, so have to resort to this.

Anonymous said...

Hey, girlfriend. Re: JoAnn's comment. Remember the spiral staircase, Loretta. :) The best of us ARE going round and round--we're just higher up, have gained more perspective, and are closer to our goal with each circle. :D Wahoo!


Related Posts with Thumbnails