Good afternoon Journal & Friends,
Still alive and kickin' here in the WET Pacific Northwest! We had a gully washer earlier, and now it can't decide if it wants to be rain, hail, thunder or sunshine... so it keeps switching back and forth. Joey kept running outside and watching it with a puzzled look on her face.
I've been doing a lot of thinking the last few days. It all started with a painful... make that VERY painful cyst in my nether regions (sorry you fellas). This is the second time in as many months. It swelled up... burst... bled... healed. Only to repeat. Only this time the closest lymph node was swollen, red and painful.
Naturally I consulted Dr Google. And was horrified to read the word "lymphoma" among the possibilites. First, let me just say my doctor, this last Monday, said it was just a garden variety cyst. It figures. Yes, these are incredibly painful, but kinda common. We will have to wait to see if the infection drained out or whether it comes back. If yes, he will cut it open and drain it thoroughly. Great. Sumpthin to look forward to...
Anyway, the whole point of this post is that the minute I read about "lymphoma"... and I admitted to myself I am not immortal... and that things like this happen to people, even me... I asked myself what would I do with the time I had left?? My immediate answer was: Well, I wouldn't be spending my time writing a weight loss blog!!! I'm not a writer... I'm an artist!!!
See... the previous week I had read a blog where the writer was all excited about his new goals. It's a good blog... one I read fairly regularly. He said his goals were to get to 1000 followers... to write a book... and to have something to offer for sale through his blog.
That's when it first hit me... uh... I didn't relate. Totally didn't relate. I rarely look at my follower numbers. I don't have a desire to write a weight loss book. And I don't want to sell stuff from my blog. Now, my art blog... sure, someday I'd like to sell prints and cards and such that could be a blessing to others... but not here. Here... freely I have received... freely I give.
So when the health scare hit, and I remembered my reaction to the blogger who WAS a writer... well, it got me to thinking. And that's why I haven't been here much.
I've been wondering if I wanted to change my priorities.
To post less.
To shift how I spend my time.
I've been reading a book by Stephen Covey, and he talks about spending our time, our lives, doing what really matters most to us. To "lean the ladder against the right wall." And it's different for each of us.
It's so important to find our purpose, our calling, what lights us up inside... and to reach for it. To not let doubts, fears and lies keep us from living our own "authentic" life. I've been struggling lately with those doubts, and I think I'm winning.
I want to always remember my "WHY", my reason for doing this whole weight loss thing in the first place. I don't want to waste any more time being side-tracked by repeating the same old mistakes over and over. I want to get ON with it.
My original purpose was for my blog to help me stay focused. And it really did! I posted every day without fail for over a year. It's now almost ingrained, finally, to check with my goals and see if I'm on track. It really did work! I highly recommend it for anyone just starting out, or who wants to get back into the Focus Habit.
I'm not saying I am doing perfect. I never have done perfect. But I've made progress. And this blog has contributed to that progress. And all the wonderful people I've met along the way. That was such an added and surprising bonus!! I'm so thankful for all of you.
I want to continue my blog... just not so often. But I do plan to visit ya'll and keep in touch! You are real to me, and I've become invested in your lives, and care what happens to you. :-)
From Dr Phil's book: "Are your thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes moving you closer to what you want?"
My verse for today: "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever."
My quote for today: "I want to know God's thoughts... the rest are details." --Albert Einstein
Enjoy the Journey,